Prologue

I'm a 34 year old homeless and jobless person.

I'm plump and ugly, a nice guy who regrets how he lived his life.

I wasn't homeless three hours ago; I was a veteran NEET who hadn't left my

room for the past year.

However, my parents had passed away without me noticing.

As a NEET, I didn't even attend the family meeting, let alone the funeral.

And in the end, I was chased out of the house.

I banged loudly on the walls and floor, flailing about as if no one was at

home, for no one spoke up for me.

I was masturbating in my room on the funeral day when my siblings suddenly

rushed in, dressed in mourning clothes, and declared that they were severing

all relations with me.

I ignored them, and my younger brother took a wooden bat and destroyed the

computer I valued more highly than my life.

Half-crazed, I lunged at them, but my older brother has a dan rank in karate,

and I was viciously beaten in turn.

I sobbed and begged for forgiveness in an unsightly manner, but I was chased

out the door, and didn't even have time to change my clothes.

I endured the throbbing pain in my chest (most of my ribs were probably

broken), and walked unsteadily on the streets.

My siblings' rebukes from when I left the house resounded in my ears.

They were harsh insults that were difficult to take in. My heart was completely broken.

What did I do wrong?

All I did was masturbate to a mosaic-less loli video during my parents'

funeral...

[2]

What should I do next?

No, my mind does indeed know.

Find a job or part time job, then a place to live in, and buy some food.

How should I go about this?

I don't know what I should do to find a job.

Hmm, I still know about going to "Hello"

[3]

.

But though I'm not showing off that I have more than 10 years experience in

staying indoors, how the heck should I know where Hello is? Furthermore,

even if I go to Hello, I'd heard that it only introduces you to a job.

I'd have to bring a resume, go to the recommended place, and take an

interview. I'd have to go for an interview in a dirty sweatsuit covered with

sweat and blood.

Heck, if I can get employed. Even I wouldn't employ a fellow wearing

something crazy like this. Maybe I would sympathize with him, but I

definitely wouldn't employ him.

Are there any shops that sell resume papers?.

Stationery stores? Convenience stores?

Maybe a convenience store might have them if I do go there, but I don't have

any money.

And then, what will I do if I settle all of that?

Assuming that I do get lucky, manage to borrow money from a financial

institute, get a change of clothes, and buy some resume papers and stationery

I'd heard that you can't complete the resume if you don't record your

residence.

It's over. Right at this moment, I finally found my life has reached its end.

.....Hah.

It started to rain.

The icy rain pierces through my clothes that I don't know how many years I

worn it for, mercilessly stealing my body heat away ... If I could start over from the beginning.

I couldn't help myself from saying that.

I wasn't born such a rotten human.

I was born as the third son in a somewhat wealthy family. Two older

brothers, one older sister, and one younger brother. The fourth in amongst the

five siblings. In primary school, I was praised as clever despite being young.

Even though I wasn't considered great at studies, I was good at games, a brat

who's pretty good at sports. I was once even the center of attention in my

class.

Then in junior high school I entered the computer club, consulted through

magazines, and saved enough money to assemble a computer. I stood out

amongst my family, none of whom could write a single line of code.

The turning point in my life was high school... no, it started in the third year

of junior high. I was so busy tinkering with the computer that I neglected my

studies. Thinking back on it now, that was where it all started.

I thought that learning stuff was useless for the future. I felt it couldn't be

used in real life.

In the end, I entered the most idiotic high school, considered the worst in the

prefecture.

Even so, I thought it was nothing.

I felt I would succeed if I got serious, and that I was different from those

other idiots. That was what I thought.

I still remember the incident back then.

While queuing up to buy lunch at the cafeteria, there was a fellow who cut

the queue.

I grumbled a few sentences as if I was acting out of righteousness. That was

due to my strange pride and the chuunibyou

[4] personality I had. Unfortunately, he was my senpai, and one of the two most dangerous people

in the school.

I ended up being punched in the face until it was swollen, stripped naked, and

tied in front of the school.

He took a lot of pictures, and easily distributed them all over the school. .

I fell to the bottom of the hierarchy in an instant, got laughed at by others,

and even got the nickname of "Foreskin boy"'.

I didn't go to school for a month, and became a hikikomori. Upon seeing me

like this, my father and brothers said irresponsible words to me like, Bring

out your courage, do your best.

I hadn't been the one at fault.

Nobody in that sort of situation would continue to attend school. There is no

way.

Thus, no matter what anyone else said, I adamantly continued my shut-in

lifestyle.

I felt that the peers who knew me were all looking at my pictures, mocking

me.

Even if I didn't go out, as long as I had the computer and internet, I could

spend my time away. Due to the internet's influence, I got interested in many

things, and did a variety of stuff. Assembling plastic models, painting

figurines, creating weblogs. My mother was willing to support me and it

seemed she would come up with the money to help me out for as long as I

requested it.

But I was sick of them all in less than a year.

I lost my motivation whenever I saw someone being better than me.

To others, I was merely fooling around. But as I was alone with so much

time, hiding in my dark shell, I had nothing else to do.

No, even when I think back on it, that was merely an excuse. At the very least, it would have been a better choice to become a mangaka

and started publishing terrible web comics, or to become a web novelist and

started posting novels.

Many people who shared similar circumstances did something like that.

I made fun of and slighted those people.

Mocking their creations, thinking myself as a critic, saying things like "It's

worse than shit", criticizing them.

Even though I did nothing at all...

I want to go back.

If it's possible, I want to go back to primary school, my life's highest point, or

back to the middle of junior high school. No, even if it's one or two years ago.

Even if it's a little bit of time, I could still do something with it. Even though I

gave up halfway through, I could start over no matter what.

If I put in my utmost effort, even if I didn't become the best, I could at least

be a pro.

"..."

Why didn't I do anything up till now?

I once had a lot of time. Even though I didn't leave my room during that time,

I could have done a lot of things as long as I sat in front of the computer.

Even if I couldn't make it the top, I could stay somewhere in the middle and

continue to put in effort.

Manga, novels, games, or even coding. If I had put in every effort, I should

have been able to make small accomplishments. Even putting aside whether

the accomplishments could be turned into money...

Ah, never mind. It's useless.

I had never worked hard before. Even if I went back to the past, I would

probably trip in a similar place, and stop at a similar place. I ended up like

this because I could never cross the hurdles a normal human could. "Hm?"

Somewhere in the heavy rain, I heard people arguing.

What's that commotion about?

It's annoying. I don't want to be involved. Even though I was thinking that,

my feet wanted to head over to them.

"---- That's why, you----"

"You're the one-----"

Entering my sight seemed to be three high school students having a lovers'

spat.

Two guys and one girl. They were dressed in the now uncommon collared

student uniforms and a sailor uniform.

It seemed there was some sort of a harem war going on. The taller boy was

quarreling with the girl, and the other boy was trying to mediate, but the two

quarreling parties weren't listening at all.

(Hmm, I had something like that before)

I once had a somewhat cute childhood friend in junior high. She might have

been considered cute, maybe a four or five. She participated in the track and

field club and had short hair. She had the kind of appearance that would

cause two, three out of ten people to turn back. However, I was very

passionate over a particular anime and felt that those in the track and field

club should have a ponytail, so I thought she was an ugly girl.

However, her home was near mine and we frequently shared the same class

during primary school, so we went home together more than once. We had

plenty of chances to talk together, and also bickered at times. It's a pity. In

my current state, just listening to the words "junior high", "childhood friend",

and "running club", is enough for me to cum 3 times.

By the way, I heard that childhood friend got married seven years ago.

I overheard this rumor from the living room, where my siblings were talking. Our relationship wasn't bad. We were able to talk without reservations since

we'd known each other from a young age.

I don't think she liked me, but if I'd studied hard and entered the same high

school, or if I'd joined the track and field club and entered the same school by

recommendation, I might have raised a flag

[5]

. If I make a serious confession,

we might even be dating each other..

I could have flirted and bickered with her like the trio, and we might even

have done perverted things in an empty classroom after school.

Hah, what eroge is this?

(Come to think of it, these people are really damned riajuus. Just explode

already.... Hm?)

Suddenly, in that instant, I realized.

A truck was charging towards the trio at a tremendous speed.

Also, the driver of the truck was lying prone on the wheel.

He was driving in a sleep-deprived state.

And the three still hadn't noticed.

"D-d-d-Danger!!"

I tried to warn them by yelling, but I haven't used my vocal cords fully for

over ten years, and the cold rain and the pain in my ribs caused them to

shrink further; The teeny-weeny, trembling voice I eked out vanished in the

rain.

I must save them, I have to. At the same time, I thought, why do I have to

save them?

I had a gut feeling that if I didn't save them, I would regret it five seconds

later. I would absolutely regret it if I saw those three people getting smashed

into a bloody pulp by a truck.

Regret not saving them. Therefore, I had to save them.

In any case, I thought I would probably starve to death by the roadside soon

after. For that moment at least, I hoped to have some satisfaction.

I didn't want to be left regretting at the very end.

--I ran and hobbled along towards them.

My legs were not moving as I wanted them to, as I had not moved them much

for the past ten years. It was the first time in my life that I wish I had

exercised more. The broken ribs were pulsing with excruciating pain,

hindering my every step. It was the first time in my life that I wished I had

taken more calcium.

It hurt. It hurt so much that I couldn't run.

But I still ran. Ran.

I was running.

The arguing boy hugged the girl when he noticed the truck approaching in

front of his eyes. The other boy had his back facing the truck and had not

noticed, was merely surprised by his companion's sudden action. I grabbed

his collar without any hesitation and used all my strength to pull him back.

The boy was pulled away and fell to the roadside, out of the truck's path.

Good. Two more to go.

Just when I had this thought, the truck was already in front of me. I had just

planned to pull them from a safe distance, but as I pulled them back, the

recoil caused me to move forward.

It was to be expected, and it wouldn't even have mattered if I weighed over

100kg. As a result of sprinting with my trembling legs, I got dragged forward

by the momentum.

I felt a light behind me the moment I got hit by the truck. Was that the rumored light of the flashback before death? I couldn't see

anything during that short instance. It was just too fast.

Did it mean that I did so little in my life?

I was sent flying onto a concrete wall by a truck 50 times heavier than I was.

"Puhh.....!"

The air in my lungs was pushed out. My lungs spasmed, demanding air after

the hard running.

I couldn't utter a sound. But I wasn't dead yet. The accumulated fat was

probably what saved me...

But once I thought of that, the truck appeared in front of my eyes again.

I was flattened like a tomato between the concrete ground and truck.