webnovel

Jörmungandr

I knew trying to do a ritual I found online was a terrible fucking idea. I mean what fucking idiot looks at a shady website with hentai ads popping up every thirty seconds and goes; “I bet the spells and rituals on this website are totally legit and will definitely work as advertised. That idiot was me…” -Excerpt from Chp 1 Winding up in the body of Slytherin’s basilisk is about as weird as it sounds. Unfortunately that is Henry’s reality after trying to perform a ritual he finds online. Fortunately he’s the protagonist of a trashy fanfiction, which gives him godly luck, indestructible plot armour, and the limitless potential to bag every redhead babe in the multiverse. Follow him on his journey through different worlds as he avoids his responsibilities, shirks his duties, and ruins timelines just as all things should be. *welcome to the fever dream* WARNINGS: Rated PG-13 for strong language, shitty humour, suggestive themes, and the occasional use of non-PC terms. This is also a fanfic, written by a college dropout who was too lazy to go to school during the RONA. *DO NOT EXPECT JRR TOLKIEN LEVELS OF WRITTEN ART.* PS. I started writing this story with zero direction and absolutely no ‘script’. Some things will definitely get retconned in the later chapters either because I forgot, or I just felt that the story needed the change. PPS. This story has multiple POVs but mainly a 1st person POV centered around the MC. If that is not your cup of tea, no one is holding a gun to your head forcing you to read this you donut. Updates Weekly

Vargr_the_Skald · Cómic
Sin suficientes valoraciones
34 Chs

Dimensional Gap

Thankfully the veil really was a portal to the Dimensional Gap and not a direct door to something terrible, like Jacksonville Florida.

I couldn't wholly trust my memories since there was stuff I only inherited and never actually witnessed for myself.

An impulsive decision like stepping into a portal called 'The Veil of Death' with my safety based on a secondhand memory wants the smartest of choices but dumbshit choices was exactly what got me into this world and where I was today. I was literally God for fucks sake, blundering around made me one of the most if not THE most powerful being in this world. 

 

Don't get me wrong, I'd still be cautious when making rash decisions but I wouldn't really expect overly terrible things to happen. If I was an RPG character my Luck stat must be set to an obscene level. It was the only explanation I had for how everything has worked out for me so far. 

 

I looked around my new surroundings, the Dimensional Gap was exactly what I imagined it would be. Neither the show or my second hand memories did this place justice. 

It was a vast void of random ruins and other floating debris from different eras and universes. I stopped gothic architecture, greek/roman temples, even chunks of futuristic looking tech. The place was basically a dumping ground for miscellaneous items that either fell through a rift or pulled in by beings that lived here. 

 

I floated in the empty void and just watched the different things floating by. I liked the silence it had, you didn't really notice how loud everything was until you've been in the Dimensional Gap. I felt a familiar aura approaching and turned to face it, a serpentine dragon lazily drifted towards me with a curious look in its eyes. 

 

The serpentine dragon disappeared in a flash of light and was replaced by a girl in a rather revealing Victorian cosplay. 

 

"You… who are you?" She asked in a monotone voice. 

 

I stopped masking my aura and smiled, "Don't tell me you don't recognize your older brother… Ophis."

 

The normally emotionless jailbait's eyes widened, breaking her mask of emotionlessness. I wasn't prepared for her to jump into my arms in a bone crushing hug.  I felt conflicting emotions raging from her. 

 

"Stupid, I thought you died…" Her voice was still monotone despite the feeling of relief she radiated.

 

"Nah, I got better." I chuckled in response while patting her head. 

 

She leaned into my touch and looked at me curiously. 

 

"Where did you go, what happened, you disappeared." 

 

"Long story short?" She nodded. "I did die," her grip tightened, "my soul was locked away in a Sacred Gear. Originally I came from another universe but ended up in this world. I absorbed that soul back from the Sacred Gear and now here I am." 

 

"You… stay for good?" 

 

"Yeah," I thought about it for a moment, "I'm not going anywhere." 

 

"Good, I miss you." She buried her face in my chest. 

 

Continuing to pat her head I looked around, Great Red wasn't here, that meant that he had come in sometime in the future. I wondered if the big delinquent would react the same as Ophis. 

 

Despite being my 'sister' she and I had a unique relationship. Along with Trihexa who was still locked away if my memory serves me right. 

 

"Hey Ophis, want to go flying around?" 

 

She looked up at me curiously as I extracted myself from her embrace. When I was far enough back I took my dragon form making her eyes widen again. 

 

"You dragon now?" 

 

"It's a recent development, so what about it? Wanna fly around this place with me?" 

 

She nodded her head quickly and retook her serpentine dragon form. We flew around for what felt like hours. Chasing each other, playing by shooting flames in front of our flight path and jumping through the fire. She nipped at my tail while I swatted at her with my wings. She shifted to her human form and jumped at me wrapping her slender arms around my neck. I stilled and glanced at her, she gave me a deadpan look. 

 

"Tired now…" 

 

Shifting back to my human form I slowly floated us down to a set of Persian ruins and patted her head. She nuzzled into my touch and closed her eyes. 

 

"I have to go soon Ophis, I just remembered something." 

 

"No… you stay." She held on tighter. 

 

"I'll come back, I promise." I assured her. 

 

"No, stay… please." 

 

"I- I can't. I have to go help some people." 

 

While we were playing I suddenly remembered about the Longbottoms. They were also supposed to get attacked either the night of or the day after the Potters get attacked. With the way things had gone I had a feeling that certain things would happen no matter what I changed. 

 

"Then I go with you." She said with surprising determination for how monotone she usually was. 

 

"Great Red might steal your spot in here." I added. 

 

"Don't care…" 

 

'Hmm, she started a whole terrorist organization just cause she wanted to kick Great Red out of the Gap. I wonder what changed? Does she really care about being with me more than her silence?' 

 

"Fine, I suppose that we'll figure it out as we go along."

 

"Good." She went back to nuzzling against my back. 

 

I opened a portal in front of us and walked through. We appeared in my throne room in Heaven and I turned to her. 

 

"We'll have to conceal our auras so that we don't alert everyone to our presence. We're going to the wizarding world." 

 

She nodded but otherwise didn't move from her spot on my back. Feeling her aura shrink down I also masked my aura and teleported back to earth in the middle of a magical scrimish. 

 

"Loud…" Mumbled Ophis while glaring at the many spells flying around. 

 

I felt her annoyance building and conjured a pair of noise canceling headphones. I handed them to her and chuckled at the look she gave them. It was like watching a cat looking at a cucumber. 

 

"It'll make the noise go away." I informed her.

 

She quickly snatched them out of my hands and put them on… backwards. Using a bit of telekinesis I fixed them onto her properly. 

 

'Better?' I communicate telepathically. 

 

She nodded in response and went back to nuzzling at my back. I looked back at the fight, dark robed assholes were shooting spells at a ward trying to bring it down. I didn't want to draw it out or listen to any of them spout their 'I'm better than you' bullshit so I ended it quickly. 

 

I had been God for a while now and in that time I hadn't really explored the full range of my offensive powers. I knew most of my powers were based on Holy Light and or some form of divine energy. Holy Lightning was cool looking but it wasn't satisfying so I went with a more brutal approach. 

 

Covering Ophis and myself with a protective aura I began popping the dark cloaked assholes like overripe tomatoes. Blood and gore splattered the grass staining the greenery crimson. It practically rained guts and bits of flesh. By the time I was done, it had taken me less than three seconds to explode two dozen Death Eaters. Bellatrix wasn't among them, but Crouch Junior was. I still killed everyone without hesitation. A part of me sang as I slaughtered the vile excuses for humans. I guess a part of God has always been vengeful and relished in slaughtering his enemies. 

 

Ophis had fallen asleep clinging onto my back. I could have walked through the wards as if they weren't there. I had learned my lesson from the Potters though. I wasn't getting into a verbal argument with the Longbottoms for whatever perceived slights they thought I may have done. 

 

I teleported Ophis and I back to the throne room in Heaven having dealt with the last of Voldemorts followers. All that was left was the meddling old coot. I followed my memories and found my old bedroom. The place had been kept pristine. 

 

'I should thank Michael and the others later, but first.' 

 

I gently took Ophis off my back and tucked her into my bed. The jailbait dragon slept soundly and I silently backed away after having removed the sound canceling headphones from her head so she could sleep comfortably. I had erected a noise prevention ward around the room to keep the noises out. If she needed anything she'd come find me. 

 

I made my way back to the throne room and sat on my golden seat while diving deep into my thoughts. The Longbottoms were safe, Ophis was currently attached to me, the Potters had yet to contact me, and I was on the fence about dealing with the barmy old codger. 

 

Being God wasn't all it was cut out to be. I had hoped that I would be able to- actually I have no clue what I expected out of this. Becoming a divine being was underwhelming. At least at the moment, I wanted excitement. I didn't want to be sitting around doing jack shit while waiting for things to happen so I could react. 

 

'There it is… the I'm getting bored so I'm going to do something drastic feeling.' 

 

I wondered if I could jump worlds, that would be kind of fun. Shaking those dangerous thoughts from my head I glanced at Ophis who was snoring lightly while clinging on to the back of my neck like a koala. 

 

She was honestly cute all things considered. I had no idea why she chose to look like jailbait though. Last I remembered she could change forms at will. I gently shook her awake. 

 

"Ophis, do you want to go make a world with me?" 

 

"Make world?" 

 

"Yeah, like creating another planet filled with life?"

 

She looked thoughtful, nodding she sent me a image of a spot she had found in the Dimensional Gap. Even though 'old me' had made the Dimensional Gap, I was still in awe of how large it was. It was basically an endless void. 

 

In short, it was perfect for experimentation and creating worlds from scratch. However, I wanted to wait and see if Great Red was going to make an appearance. I didn't want the giant STD looking dragon running around destroying things when I had just newly created them. Noting the absence of the Seraphs I also remembered another thing I was going to do. I mentally called out to Gabriel making her appear next to me with a flash of magic. 

 

"Did you need something daddy?" 

 

"Could you please gather your brothers and sisters? I have some news." 

 

She smiled happily and flew off, out of all the other Archangels she was probably my favorite. She did her job, but she also knew that she didn't need to always be serious 100% of the time. It also didn't hurt that she was a buxom blonde that called me 'daddy'. 

 

Was a weird for thinking that way about my supposed 'daughter'? Probably. But I was God, it's not like I could fall. It was literally impossible for me to 'do wrong' since I decided what was right and what was wrong. 

 

The Judeo-Christian 'pantheon' was broken as fuck since I was the only god and I had no peers or equals to judge me. I wasn't going to complain though. I wasn't going to abuse the power either, maybe bend a few rules but I wouldn't go and NTR a bunch of dudes I hated just cause I could without repercussions. 

 

Seeing that the Seraphs still hadn't arrived I closed my eyes and focused on four distinct souls. I pulled them from their afterlives with little to no effort since two of them were already ghosts stuck on earth and the other two were in my domain. I was sure they'd forgive me after I told them what I had in mind. The four beings materialized in front of my throne. 

 

"Jörmungandr?" "Son?" "Lad?" "Joey?" 

 

Rowena, Salazar, Godric, and Helga spoke at the same time when they saw me perched on my throne. Grinning at my first family when I arrived here I got off my throne and greeted them warmly with hugs and arm clasps. 

 

"Why have you called us lad?" Godric asked after I clasped arms with him. 

 

"I'll answer you in a bit once everyone arrives?" 

 

Salazar and Rowena seemed to already know what was going on and I wondered if they could peep on me while I was in Heaven. Helga and Godric recognized the place but didn't seem to understand why I was sitting on a throne. 

 

"Joey? Why do you have a small child hanging off your back?" 

 

"Right, I guess I should probably introduce you all first. Everyone, this is Ophis. Ophis this is my first family, the wizards that basically took me in when I arrived here." 

 

"I see, thank you for taking care of my brother." She spoke in her trademark monotone. 

 

"Brother?" Godric asked. 

 

"In short I absorbed the Elder Wand, became the biblical God's reincarnation and now I've summoned you in Heaven. Ophis is my sister through my previous incarnations' birth in the void." 

 

"Fucking hell lad, you never do things in half measures." 

 

Helga slapped him in the arm, "Ric watch your language," She hissed, "Sorry for his behavior My Lord."

 

I frowned slightly, "Helga, we're family. You don't need to call me that. Just keep on going as you have." 

 

She looked hesitant but eventually smiled. "Okay Joey." 

 

The Seraphs arrive and look at the people I brought back curiously. It was Raphael who brought up the question. 

 

"Father who are they?" 

 

"Children, these are the four people that raised me once I arrived to this world before my rebirth." 

 

Michael stepped forward, "Thank you for caring for our father." 

 

He bowed slightly, the other Seraphs mirrored his actions. Gabriel skipped forward and grabbed onto my arms waking Ophis who glared at her. Patting the jailbait dragon on the head she went back to sleep and I turned my attention back to the founders. 

 

"I've brought you back and called the Seraphs here because I've noticed that our numbers is very low. The seraphs are spread too thin and can not carry out their jobs efficiently. So I've brought the four of you here to propose a new job." 

 

"Son, are you sure?" 

 

"You four have shown me that you are reliable and trustworthy. You raised me and taught me to live my life freely. Of course there will be a probationary period where you will be supervised by one of the Seraphs but once you're free of that you will be in charge of certain parts of the kingdom." 

 

"I- lad,this is a big responsibility…" 

 

"And I see no better people for the job Godric, now does anyone have any objections?" 

 

"None father, we would be glad to accept them into our ranks." Uriel responded with the others nodding. 

 

"Right, I'm also going to fix certain parts of the system I have set up here. The system for when an Angel falls is ridiculous." 

 

"What do you mean father?" Michael asked. 

 

"I mean who ever put in that if an Angel falls in love then they'd fall is a fucking idiot. Not to mention all the other dumbshit redundant rules."

 

They winced, I didn't know if it was because I cursed or because of the rules I hinted at, but it was sort of funny to me. 

 

"Um- that was you daddy." Gabriel meekly pointed out. 

 

"Then I was a fucking idiot before," I replied with a completely straight face, "I'm changing things so that you won't fall for the dumbest reasons. I'm also fixing it so that couples can marry and have children naturally." 

 

"As you wish father." Michael bowed. 

 

"Also, I really need a vacation. Would any of you happen to know a good spot?" They looked at me blankly, I chuckled. "I guess not, oh well." 

 

The founders thanked me again before they were led away by the Seraphs to begin their training. I'd turn them into archangels when they finished their training. I felt a bit of my arm get warm and looked down. Gabriel had fallen asleep on my arm and was lightly drooling on my sleeve. 

She had an adorable little smile on her face and I couldn't convince myself to push the Angel away. 

 

Ophis put a hand on my cheek and I turned my attention to her. She looked at me without blinking for a moment before saying anything. 

 

"I know a place."

 

"You have a spot?" 

 

She nods, "Quiet." 

 

"The Dimensional Gap?" 

 

She nods again, "Big, don't mind sharing with you." 

 

"I wouldn't mind either, but I was planning on exploring different places and meeting new people Ophis." 

 

She stared unblinkingly at me, "Why? Too noisy." 

 

"Cause it's fun." I matched her monotone. 

 

"Fun?" 

 

"Yeah, fun. If you want you can come with. You'll just have to bear with the noise." 

 

She looked conflicted, an impressive feat since her face was still a mask of indifference. 

 

"Okay, I go with you." She nuzzles back into my neck and also falls asleep. 

 

I chuckled at the action and thought about all the different places I could go. I had already explored a large area of the world. Short of traveling to another world, I wouldn't be able to see anything new. 

 

'I could always go back to checking out if this world is really just Harry Potter and the Titty Anime. I remember a newspaper talking about military experiments back when I visited the USA.' 

 

My hesitance was born from the fact that while I was powerful, disgustingly so might I add, I still wasn't at full power. I was getting there, slowly, being in Heaven and absorbing the faith of all the people who prayed to me helped. I approximated that I'd be back to full strength by the end of the week. 

 

Once I was back to full strength I'd be able to explore the entirety of the Dimensional Gap without fear or worry of some brokenly overpowered being taking notice of me. The Dimensional Gap was connected to the void after all. It was literally the Gap between universes first only bridging Earth, Heaven, and the Underworld. Since my absence various beings have sprung up from the left over primordial energy left behind by Trihexa, Great Red, Ophis, and I when we emerged from nothingness. 

 

The Dimensional Gap was something I had originally created as a 'rest stop'. Creating galaxies and life was exhausting after all and I needed a place to test stuff out in. I eventually gave it to Ophis for the same reason. She wanted a place to fuck off to without people bothering her. I had already created Heaven so I didn't need it anymore. 

 

The new beings that popped up from our leftover energy created their own worlds and sometimes they created pantheons of gods. As far as I was aware they didn't know that we existed. 

 

When I return to full strength I should be able to effortlessly enter their worlds and dick around a bit for a vacation. I already knew Ophis was most likely coming with, so I had to make plans around that. 

 

'Maybe I'll bring Gabriel with me.' I looked down to the sleeping Seraph clutching my arm. 

 

[Scene Break]

 

Gabriel did decide to come with Ophis and I while I explored the Gap. I left a note on my throne for everyone letting them know that I was taking a short vacation and would be back soon. I didn't know if time would flow differently in a different world. I hoped that I wouldn't end up coming back thousands of years later than expected. 

 

Before entering the Gap, I had taken a trip to the human world to check on some suspicions I had. Thankfully I couldn't find anything suspicious or out of place. I didn't know if that was worrying or not, since it seemed a little too good to be true. The Potters also accepted my offer and blessed them as I said I would. 

 

From there we went directly into the Dimensional Gap. Ophis and Gabriel flew alongside me as we explored the vast expanse looking for rifts to other worlds. I started spotting debris getting sucked into a swirling mass of red light and hummed. The debris varied in type, from scraps that looked like spaceship parts, to actual trash from who knows where. 

 

Around it were several other swirling masses that spat out random bits of debris. I spotted a few that looks suspiciously like Chitauri bodies and ships. 

 

"Creepy…" Gabriel said while looking at one of the wormy looking things. 

 

"And a potential doorway to adventure." I muttered. 

 

"Looks loud," Ophis blasted the worm thing with energy instantly vaporizing it, "I stay here." 

 

"Not coming with me?" I asked her with a smirk. 

 

She looked at me for a moment before nodding. "Too noisy, I stay here." 

 

"Alright, I guess you can stand guard here just in case." 

 

She nods before shifting to her serpentine dragon form. Gabriel hugs my arm as we drift closer to the swirling red mass. 

 

"Here goes, let's see where this takes us." 

 

Cold washed over me as we passed through the red swirling clouds. Colors blurred until we emerged in space, like actual space. We had been transported from the Dimensional Gap to outer space. I could still feel my connection to Heaven so I wasn't worried about not being able to return from wherever we had been sent to. 

 

Strangely I felt a very faint connection to another version of Heaven. I shelved my curiosity and looked at the massive fleet of spaceships and strange glowing portal that looked like it led to Earth. The scene looked oddly familiar and I chuckled when I finally realized why. 

 

'Of course it's the MCU, because why wouldn't it be the MCU.' 

 

"Daddy?" Gabriel squeezed my arm. 

 

"It's okay sweetheart, I just learned where we are… how would you like to help some humans?" 

 

She beamed, "Of course, what do we do?" 

 

"Let's start by going through that portal and killing all these bug looking aliens." 

 

Not bothering to hide our auras we flew through the portal and hovered over New York. The invasion seemed like it was just beginning. Gabriel flew down and started helping the civilians who were just gaping at the portal. I wanted to wipe out the entire invading force then and there but I knew that the Avengers needed their moment to become a team. I also didn't want people, mainly SHIELD to know about me just yet. It was more fun this way at the end of the day. 

 

Summoning a normal steel sword from my hammerspace I began to cut through the flying chariot assholes drawing their attention away from the civilians and Gabriel. With my stupidly bright glowing wings it wasn't that hard to get their attention. 

 

They fired at me with their laser weapons, with my new power level it was like the beams were moving through molasses. Dodging a few and blocking a few with my wings I flew around and made myself a menace to the Chitauri flyers. Some tried to jump on me but I smite them out of the air before they got too close. Some wised up and tried to ignore me, those guys got smite too. 

 

When the Avengers arrived I pulled back to let them deal with the situation while I flew over to Gabriel who was fighting off a bunch of aliens inside of a grocery store. She was defending a kid who had gotten separated from his parents. Locating the parents I blasted the aliens about to attack them and grinned at the shocked look on their faces. 

 

"Gape later, come on. Your kid is looking for you." 

 

"W-who are you?" The woman asked. 

 

"I think you know, Linda Williamson. You prayed for me after all." 

 

Shock crossed her face before she smiled tearfully and thanked me. 

 

"Save the happy tears for later, come on." I urged them again. 

 

If you couldn't tell, I'm dogshit at handling crying women, happy tears or not. They followed me closely while I led them through the store. We made our way over to Gabriel who was now comforting the young boy. She shielded him from having to see the pile of alien bodies. 

 

"Mom! Dad!" The young boy cried out before dashing to his parents. 

 

They shared an embrace while I spoke with Gabriel. The archangel had a gentle smile on her face, a strange combination with the amount of alien blood splattered all over her. 

 

"Did you save anyone else?" I asked. 

 

She shook her head, "No, everyone else managed to get away to safety. That boy was hiding behind a display." 

 

"No losses then," she nodded her head in reply, "alright, stay here and protect them. I'll go out there to make sure nothing else gets in." 

 

"Okay daddy." Gabriel excitedly exclaimed. 

 

I chuckled at her excitement and made my way out of the grocery store. Outside a few Chitauri stragglers made their way towards the entrance I had just come out of. Blasting them with holy light I felt the vengeful side of me surface causing a sneer to pop up on my face. 

 

The blue portal in the sky spat out the strange worm things and more flying chariots. I took to the sky with a single flap of my wings and replaced my sword with my wand. Launching some of the darkest spells I knew, and I knew a metric fuck ton, at the Chitauri, I almost break out in maniacal laughter. Aliens all around either exploded into gore, flipped inside out, decapitated, or straight up shat their insides out. 

 

'The Harry Potter world has some really fucked up spells.' I mused as I blasted one of the worms with fiendfyre. 

 

The Leviathan, as they were apparently called, screeched in pain as it was cooked inside of its own armor plating. The Chitauri riding it screeched in turn as they too were roasted before they could get off. 

 

'Time to try out Grindelwalds infamous spell.' 

 

I waved the wand like a conductor directing an orchestra. Blue flames burst from the tip as I flicked the wand in a circle towards the portal. 

 

"Protego Diabolica."  

 

The irony of God casting a 'demonic' spell wasn't lost on me. The results were as Billy Butcher says;

 

"That's diabolical." 

 

Chitauri burned to ash before they could get through the portal. The spell had been powerful when it was cast by Grindelwald with the Elder Wand. Even though I was using a regular wand, I was still a divine being. The eldritch blue flames spat out several skeletal dragons that chased down the Leviathans that had gotten through before I cast the spell. I spotted a red and gold blur speeding towards me and I grinned. 

 

"Time to meet the Avengers." 

“A Møøse once bit my sister…”

Vargr_the_Skaldcreators' thoughts