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It's Okay To Not Be Okay

Have you ever felt like you had to say you're okay when really you're not okay? Have you ever felt like you're drowning not in water but your own sadness and pain? Have you ever felt alone, empty, numb, emotionless, hated, pained, hopeless, worthless, and pathetic? All of these things describe Kai Levough. He's been bullied since he first started school and has been abused ever since his twin brothers death when he was 7. His mother left him with his abusive father when he was 8 and he is now 16. What happens when the new kid, Chase Smith, ends up sitting with him at lunch and decides to barges his way into Kai's life? Will Chase be able to save Kai before it's to late or, will it already be to late? Read to find out! I am so sorry to all of you who planned on reading/were reading this but I have decided to discontinue this book but I will be rewriting this but from a Female leading role! So hope you'll it comes out!

Alyzabeth_Hawkins · Otras
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14 Chs

Chapter 4: A New Friend, Maybe?

😶" After School "😶

🌈" Kai's POV "🌈

Well, I'm leaving this hell of mine just to go to another one..... yay me, not!

I've always wondered what it would be like if my brother and my mom was still here.

Would we all be getting hurt by that person who's supposedly my father?

Would my father stop drinking and abusing me if they were here still?

Would be a happy family?

All these questions and none of them can be answered.

Okay, I can't. I think to myself stopping in my tracks. I turn on one heel and start heading in the direction of the cemetery

😔" At The Cemetery "😔

Well, I guess I can say this is like my safe haven, a place where I can't get hurt, a place where I can talk to someone even if they aren't here.

I walk to my brother's grave and sit down in front of his grave stone.

"Hey bubba.", I say to him like I used to everytime I saw him.

"It's been a while since I've visited and I'm sorry about that.", I say to him looking at his gravestone as if I'm talking to him.

"I know that I always say that I'm okay or that I'm fine but in all reality, I'm not. I try to act as the "tough emo guy" but in all honesty, I'm tired of having to act shit out.", I say tears coming to my eyes threatening to falls but I look up and blink them away not wanting to cry right this moment.

"It's been what, like 9 years since we've actually talked to each other.", I say to him trying to admit that I miss him without actually saying it since I know I'd have a break down and cry.

"Truth is, I-I....", I start to say trying to fund the right words.

"I miss you so much. I wish you were here maybe, just maybe everything would have worked out differently, a-and may-be I'd still be able t-to have a brother too.", I say to him a tear rolling down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away. I lean my against the gravestone and shake my head. I smile as I remember some happy memories

"I-I remember this one time when it was mom's birthday and dad wanted to play a joke on her.", I laugh a little

"So we made three different cakes. A fake one, a small one that dad pushed her face into, and then her actual cake.", I say to him laughing at how funny we thought it was and the on her face after having a whole lot of icing and cake on her face and then I sigh.

"I wish it was that way again.", I say getting up.

"I need to go or else I'll get in trouble well, at least more than what I already am gonna be in. I'll try to visit you more often. I love you bubba.", I say to him turning around on my heel only to see Chase there.

"What the hell are doing here?! Are you following me or somethin?! I'm starting to get this creepy stalker vibe from you.", I ramble before Chase raises his hands in surrender.

"Hey, I only came here to see my grandma and then I saw you and I was gonna ask if you wanted some company while you walked home.", he says and I roll my eyes start to walk around him. We walked outta the cemetery together him not to far behind me.

I start to walk in the direction my house and then I hear him say something.

"Wait!", he practically yells like some cliche movie. I turn on my heel and look at him.

"If you don't want me to walk you home, can we at least be friends?", he asks and I shrug my shoulders

"Maybe, now, are you gonna walk me home or not?", I ask him and he smiles and catches up to me.

"Fair warning, I don't live in the safest of neighborhoods.", I tell him and he nods his head

"I don't neither, well at least not really so, we're in the same boat, I guess?", he says in more of a question than a statement, I roll my eyes and click my tongue.

"Yeah, sure.", I say to him and smile.

We get to the street my house is on and I stop taking a deep breath.

"Hey, are you okay?", he asks and I nod with a smile

"Y-yeah, I'm fine.", I say and continue to walk.

"So, do you really wanna be my friend?", I ask looking at him and he nods.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?", he asks and I shrug my shoulders

"Just a question.", I say simply and stop when we get in front of my house.

"So, this is my house.", I say and he smiles.

"And that's my house.", he says pointing to the house that has been for sale for at least 3 maybe 4 years.

"So, we're neighbors.", I say and he nods.

"Do you wanna be friends?", he asks and I pretend to think for a minute

"I know you're not really thinking.", he says and I giggle.

"Sure, I'll be your friend just, don't abandoned me.", I tell him walking up my stairs and inside of my house before he could ask any questions.