Chapter 23 No Choice_2

He stood up, dusted off his hands, and his tone became more relaxed.

"Alright, let's take a break. You're not going to bed this early, right? How about we watch a DVD together? I just bought a few today."

"Ah, that's also like something a parent would do to encourage their child!" Lin Xingjie's eyes sparkled, "If you finish your homework in time or get good grades, you get a reward, like a big meal or buying the child something they want as a gift, right?"

Xu Xiangyang didn't answer but simply shrugged his shoulders and turned to head for the living room.

"What do you want to watch?"

"Hmm... a comedy."

"Then let's go with Stephen Chow."

Xu Xiangyang had already placed the DVD in the player, and now he simply pressed the machine's button.

*

Both of them sat back down on the sofa.

The living room was silent; the atmosphere seemed to return to how it was when they had just come back from outside. The TV screen glowed faintly, but both of them were preoccupied with their own thoughts, paying no attention to it.

"Do you want to hear about my family situation?"

The girl with the black hair asked in a slightly hoarse voice, breaking the silence.

"If I say I do, will you answer?"

"I've said before, as long as you ask, no matter the question, I'll answer honestly."

Xu Xiangyang put his hands on his knees, sat up straight, and tried to look serious. He didn't make eye contact with Lin Xingjie but strived to maintain a solemn expression.

Lin Xingjie's eyes were fixed on the TV screen, and she instinctively did not want to look at his face either.

"Please, tell me."

"...Actually, I have had... what you'd call 'friends.'"

"You mean Shi Hui and the others?"

"Yes. I heard they're connected with some shady people and often get into fights. He bothered me several times, wanting to get to know me, and I eventually agreed. Of course, it wasn't because I was annoyed into submission; rather... I hoped someone could help me out when I really needed it."

Without waiting for Xu Xiangyang's response, the girl hung her head and began to mock herself.

"It's ridiculous, isn't it? I find it quite absurd myself, hoping to rely on that kind of people."

"To protect you? Why?"

Lin Xingjie didn't answer. She suddenly grabbed Xu Xiangyang's hand, which was resting at his side, and started to lift it.

Xu Xiangyang was taken aback, didn't resist, and fought the urge to turn his head. He realized that his fingers were being drawn to the side of the girl's face, feeling a rough sensation.

It was an adhesive bandage.

Xu Xiangyang had noticed the wound a while ago, and this time, he finally reached the truth.

"...Who did this to your face?"

"My mom's new boyfriend. He's at our house right now."

Xu Xiangyang took a deep breath, then took another, his hands unconsciously clenching tighter.

"You... you must have told your aunt, right? She didn't react at all? She's still with that guy?"

"Mom just tells me not to make Uncle angry."

Lin Xingjie seemed to shake her head, the tips of her long hair brushing the back of Xu Xiangyang's hand.

"Can this woman even qualify as a mother?" — This thought revolved in Xu Xiangyang's throat and he struggled to swallow it back down.

"Don't blame her," Lin Xingjie said, as if she could hear his inner voice, her tone laced with a bitter smile, "That woman... my mom, she's just a bit silly, easily deceived, and very timid. She becomes obedient with a little fright from a man. And that man is quite a handful."

"Of course, it's not as though the men Mom found before were any good. I've told her she had poor taste, or perhaps just bad luck, always running into swindlers, playboys, or lazy bums who loaf around all day and do nothing. Generally, such people are still manageable, and I can always think of ways to drive them away."

"But this guy is different." Lin Xingjie's tone turned exceptionally grave, "I... I've learned about him. He used to be really mixed up in the underworld, and he still has a bunch of lackeys following him. I heard this man has blood on his hands, just released from inside."

"Even without this background, he's not someone I can deal with. He's too tall and strong, with a violent temper... That day, when he came out drunk and Mom wasn't around, I came back from the street and unfortunately encountered him. For no reason at all, he exploded in a rage, cursing 'whore' and slapping me... I guess, he probably mistook me for someone else."

"After that, he wanted to punch and kick me; his demeanor was like he really intended to beat me to death. At that moment, I realized that he was a natural-born abuser, and it wouldn't be surprising at all if he ended up killing someone. If I hadn't reacted quickly enough and locked myself in my room, I might have..." Lin Xingjie stroked her cheek and let out a long sigh. Even now, she still felt terrified thinking about that encounter, "The price was just a slap in the face at the beginning, and I think I got off lightly."

"Since then, I realized I could only avoid him. As long as he's around, I don't even dare go home. But this kind of evasion can't last forever. I can't imagine what will happen if this continues; if he truly becomes my father, if I have to live under the same roof with this man..."

"I'm out of time and options. I have to find a way to save myself. I did try seeking help from adults, like you said, going to neighbors, teachers, and police, but the result was always the same. Even if there were adults willing to listen and check on the situation, they often got stopped at the door. Everyone just says 'it's hard for an official to settle family affairs,' so with my mom who's completely submissive to that man, such attempts are meaningless. After all, she's my legal guardian, my only family in this world."

"I can only figure things out on my own. I have no friends, so I think I must make use of everyone I know, to handle the threats he brings... even if the other party is a complete nuisance, as long as there's a sliver of a chance they could help me..."

"Xu Xiangyang, you said the best way out of my current situation is through studying. I think you're absolutely right, it's not too late to start now, right, work hard at school, get through a year and a half, get into a good university, win a scholarship, and then I'll be free. I'll legitimately be able to leave my guardian, this city, move away from those two. As long as I can bear it, as long as I study hard, endure a little bit longer, I can, I can escape this suffering... but, but—"

Lin Xingjie's speech paused for a moment, as if choking up, or perhaps from the emotional intensity causing her to gasp for breath, temporarily unable to speak.

"...but what I fear most is that I may not even endure another year and a half. I don't know how other people view their high school life, but for me, every single day of these three years feels unbearably long. Too long, just too long!"

"Xu Xiangyang, in this world, some people have no choice. There are many difficulties, many ways to solve them, yet some are truly at a dead end, completely helpless about the future... That's why they'll do anything, try any method, no matter how foolish it may seem to others..."

"Is it because I'm too dumb? Is it because I'm not brave enough? Is it because I don't know enough people? Xu Xiangyang, if it were you, you could do better, surely you'd have smarter ways. You're amazing, good at studying, at taking care of yourself, and so decisive in your actions, even willing to help someone like me who once despised you... I just want you to know, back then, I really had no choice."

Lin Xingjie spoke without turning her head.

She didn't dare to turn around, afraid to see expressions that would sadden her. She kept talking non-stop, with only the sound of the projector "shushing" in her ears.

Lin Xingjie sniffled, took several deep breaths, and after being silent for a moment, was ready to continue; but just then, she suddenly heard a strange, faint sound, like someone sobbing.

Lin Xingjie finally couldn't help but turn her head.

What followed was her startled discovery that on the young man's pale face, illuminated by the light of the TV, two clear trails of tears were rolling down.