Ch 958 - Trains, Brownies, and Trout

The world continued to crumble around Alex as he processed his mother's words. 

"Gideon might not be Justin's father."

Alex found it difficult to believe, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized it made more sense than he was willing to admit. He was pacing around the living room, trying to mak ehis thoughts make sense. They tumbled over one another as he tried to understand what was happening. His mother was in the kitchen. The smell of burned brownies was still heavy in the air.

She's probably making a fresh batch, Alex thought, then he laughed. I'm panicking over the fact my mother cheated on my father, and I'm thinking about something as mundane as brownies?

It was absurd, and Alex welcomed the relief the mundane thought brought. Even if it was momentary. Then, his chaotic thoughts returned to normal.

Should I tell Dad? he thought. He had every right to know. I can't keep a secret this big to myself. I have to convince Mom to tell him. Somehow, some way, Dad needs to know. He paused in his pacing, looking through the door that connected the kitchen to the living room.

Bracing himself, he decided to confront his mother. He went into the kitchen and, just as he was about to speak, decided against it. Instead, he watched his mother from behind, not making a sound. She tuned around and saw him standing in the door frame.

"Are you here to help me?" she asked, holding the bowl of brownie batter on the crook of one arm.

Alex shook his head.

"Okay," she said. "Then have a seat. I'll tell you when the brownies are ready." She smiled, as if nothing had changed. "WE can have some coffee and spend a little time together as mother and son!"

He wished that he could go back in time and not have to think about any of this. It was information he could have happily gone the rest of his life without knowing, and he hated that he knew it. It called into question everything he thought he knew about his family.

All families have secrets, Alex thought. Even the picture perfect Ambrose family.

"Gideon might not be Justin's father?"

Alex was sitting at the dining table in the kitchen as his mother prepared a fresh batch of brownies. The previous batch had burned while they were arguing. She hummed happily, as if nothing had been said. She carried on as if the world wasn't falling apart around them. 

So many things about his childhood started to make sense. A memory, from when he was around three years old, came to the surface. He remembered being in the nursery as his mother handed him a shiny new toy, a wooden train with spinning wheels.

"I got you a shiny new train," she had told him. "You can play with it for as long as you want! Just don't tell Daddy about Mommy's friend from work."

Alex remembered taking the train, eager to play with it. He remembered being captivated by the spinning wheels. He also remembered a man hanging out in the hallway, looking somewhat impatient as his mother left the nursery.

"Are you even paying attention?" Flora's voice cut across his thoughts, and he looked up at her. She was standing over him with her hands on her hips, smiling as if she were talking to a small child. 

Alex pouted as more memories came to the surface. How long had she been having her little endeavors with other men?

Just how many "friends from work" have there been? Alex thought.

He had never thought his mother would be the type to cheat on her husband. Another memory broke the surface. This time, he remembered being given a stuffed toy. It had been around the time Justin had been born, and Gideon had been home for the birth. Alex remembered how happy Gideon had been to meet his second son.

Or the boy he thinks is his second son, Alex thought darkly. Does Justin know? Or does he suspect that something's not quite right? When we were kids, he used to play up and say he wished he wasn't a part of the family, and as he grew up we all thought he grew out of it.

Justin had always been something of a womanizer. The opposite of Alex in almost every way. There was nothing innately wrong with their relationship, they had grown up quite close, but Alex always got the feeling that Justin resented him. Alex just thought that it was a brotherly thing, something that came and went as time flew on. It hadn't occurred to Alex that they might not be fully related.

Why would I even think that we aren't fully related? Alex thought, shifting in his seat. I had absolutely nothing to go on. It wasn't until Mom brought it up that I started to question everything.

He cast his gaze in the direction of the painting of a fruit bowl that hung on the wall opposite the dining table. His heart sank. Debbie had bought it a while ago at a flea market. She had always been good at finding cool things for a low cost. A smile tugged at his lips, and then his heart sank.

I really miss her, he thought.

"Alexander Ambrose!" Flora's voice cut across Alex's thoughts, jarring him out of his memories. "Are you even listening to me?"

Alex briefly looked at her. She looked the same as the mother he knew. Platinum blonde hair, a slight build, and a confidence to the way she was standing. The problem was that he wasn't sure he knew who his mother was anymore.

"No," he said honestly. He looked away, unable to look her in the eye. 

He had a hard time reconciling his sweet, doting mother with the image of an adulterer. However, the more he thought about it, the more certain things from his childhood began to make sense. 

Another memory came to the surface, and he bit his tongue as it flooded him. He was in the nursery again, just about to turn four years old, as his mother handed him a picture book about a rabbit. Alex took it, excited by the pretty pictures. 

"I got you a shiny new book!" Flora had told him. "You can spend as long as you want reading it. Just don't tell Daddy about my friend from Virginia, okay?"

But Alex had been far too absorbed by the bright colors to even notice the man who was standing in the hallway outside the nursery. 

He shook his head, trying to dislodge the memory, but it stuck, along with all of its implications. How long had she been buying his silence with gifts?

"Well, to catch you up," she said, "I was saying that the new brownies are in the oven. The old batch are burned, but not completely unsalvageable. We might be able to turn them into a crumb cake!"

Alex couldn't help himself. 

"Does Dad know?" he asked, feeling numb. "All those times you told me not to tell him, but did you ever tell Dad what you were doing with those men? Those friends?"

Flora went silent. Her cheeks flushed red, and she exhaled loudly. 

"I thought we were done with this!" she said, exasperated. 

"Does Dad know?" Alex flew to his feet, sending the chair to the floor. It clattered and rocked to stillness. Alex looked at his mother with wide, concerned eyes. A tight knot of emotions was forming in his stomach. It felt like someone had hit him in the gut with a hammer. 

Flora let her arms drop to her sides and sighed. 

"He suspects something," Flora said, "but he doesn't fully know. He's aware of my endeavors while he was traveling. It's all in the past, now, what's done is done, we can only move forward."

"Endeavors?" Alex said, raising an eyebrow. "You mean affairs."

"Your father was always away," she said, folding her hands in front of her. She looked at him with a sorrowful expression. "When Justin was born, I ran the math. Between him coming home, and my last endeavor, the timeline didn't quite match. Gideon suspected, at first, but never questioned it, but you know how your father is." She gave him a stern look. "I would rather it stay that way." 

Flora was asking Alex to keep the truth of Justin's parentage to himself, and Alex wasn't sure if he could do that. As he thought about it, he realized that he was being a hypocrite. He had cheated on Debbie and been upfront about it with her. It had caused her no end of grief. While they had tried to move beyond it, it had only gotten worse, and they eventually broke up. Possibly for good. 

Alex thought about his father, and how he might react if he had confirmation that Justin wasn't his son. Flora was probably right. It was best to keep this information under wraps. 

"Fine," Alex said, picking up the chair. "I'll keep it to myself."

Flora's shoulders eased with relief. "Thank you," she said gratefully. 

Alex held up a finger. "On one condition."

"Name it," she said. "Anything!"

"If it ever comes out," he said, thinking carefully, "and I'm not saying I'll be the one leading him, but if he ever asks, or brings it up, you have to be honest with him."

"Agreed," she said quickly. "Now can we drop this?"

Alex nodded just as the timer for the brownies went off. He pulled on a pair of oven gloves and opened the oven. A waft of sweet-smelling steam hit him in the face, and another memory popped to the surface as he pulled out the brownies. 

He remembered being a little over four years old, and Grandpa Lincoln standing in the hallway outside of the nursery.

Alex stood up straight, holding the steaming tray of brownies in both hands. 

"Alex?" Flora asked. "Is everything alright?"

Alex didn't look at her. Fortunately for him, Gideon chose that moment to open the door and walk in from the backyard, holding a massive bundle of freshly-caught trout. 

"We're eating good tonight!" he declared, holding up the fish. They had already been scaled and gutted, and the salty smell of fresh fish contrasted against the sweet smell of chocolate brownies. Alex set the tray on the stovetop and took off the oven gloves, tossing them on the counter. 

"Oh wow, Gideon!" Flora said when she saw the fish. "You know what we need? We need to fire up the grill in the back, call over Justin and your father, and have a family dinner!" She turned to Alex. "You can invite your friends, too! Oh, look at all this fish. It'll feed us for days!"

Unable to bare the sight of his mother any longer, Alex turned on his heel and made for his room.