Fate in a Nutshell part III.
"So let's recap, there is Akasha the timey wimey, goofy galaxy, rickety reality place that every mage is trying to get to so that they can use the top tier gourmet True magic s#it,
"But the only thing stopping them is the Counterforce which they have to try and find a way around, did you get all that."
"..." No one answered.
"Good, and that is all the background information you will need to know. Now we can get to the timeline."
"All the timelines will be visualized here on this big ass wall using that projector over there," Satoru said pointing at the projector stuck to the ceiling.
"I can guess this guy is a loner by the way he is speaking," Cu whispered to Archer Emiya.
"I heard that you little piece of s#it. You will be the first one to die after all this is over."
Satoru's voice sent a chill down his spine.
'Does he have rabbit ears or something, how can he hear something from so far.'
"I can still hear you motherf**ker. Don't compel me to come down there and Will Smith your ass... and for no reason at all, I can read all of your minds while you're all are in my domain, got it."
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A few inches later...
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"Now starting at the beginning before any mages, before any servants, before any Holy Grail war, you have the age of Gods, so yeah apparently right at the beginning of the Fateverse, there was this period of time where Gods roamed the with man, mythical creatures existed and I s#it you not... physics apparently just wasn't a thing,
"Yeah, apparently this thing called mystery governed the rules of the world, which... I don't know what that's supposed to mean, don't worry about it,
"Like I just imagine in my head some ancient humans trying to let go of an apple and physics tries to drop it and mystery is like, "no no no no we do not do that here." and then the apple just flies off to f**king narnia,"
"Objection Heresay." Da Vinci raised her hand.
"Yes, Da Vinci-chan, you may speak."
"I would like to say that mystery doesn't work that way."
"Yes, I know Da Vinci-chan, I just wanted to make a joke out of it, for content purposes."
"Then I shall take my seat." Hearing his answer she was satisfied and took her seat. It's not everyday you get to point out a god's mistake, although an intentional one.
"So where was I... Ah! yes, flies off to f**king narnia, but everything changed when the fire nation attacked... Sorry wrong line, wrong script," Satoru quickly fished out a ton of scripts from his pocket and started squirming through them which made a mess.
"Not this one Not this one Not this one Not this one Not this one, Yes, this is the one," He threw away all the other papers and only kept one of them.
"So this titan called Sefar, invaded and destroyed most of the world and was only beaten back by this mighty sword called Excalibur, sound familiar."
Artoria looked at her hand and everybody looked at Artoria. Then they all shifted their attention to Satoru who was on a phone call.
"Hello Joker what's up man... Yo bro why you panicking... The IRS, s#it... Okay I will lend you my bank details... Yeah, ok, ok... love you too man... yeah yeah... Ok bye bye." Satoru hung the phone and typed a message containing his bank account details to his friend.
He then found the gazes of the servants on him, a gaze demanding an explanation.
"Oh, Yeah it's my friend Joker, he was in a pickle with the IRS, and you know buddy help buddy. Apes together strong. Maniacs together strong, Also, let's get this over with quickly, because I have a war to attend after this,"
'So you are not gonna explain the IRS part, like how does that even work like in heaven or something.'
"Oh, and if you are wondering about the IRS part, don't worry about it."
'That... actually helps.'
"So after the attack, the gods weaken, mystery starts to wane and physics is like, "Yo is gonna drop at apple." which takes us to Separation,
"So the gods are a little pissed that they can't go down to earth anymore because they are so weak, so they make Gilgamesh who's two-thirds god... gods don't give a s#it about Maths apparently,
"With the intention of making him the Keystone to connect gods and the humans. Now for anyone not familiar with the Fateverse or Gilgamesh himself then how should I explain Gilgamesh...hmm." Satoru put his hand on his chin and pondered.
"You know that one meme, 'Is this some peasant joke that I am too rich to understand.' Yeah if that meme was reincarnated as a person, that person would be Gilgamesh."
'He is on the spot.' Many servants familiar with Gilgamesh thought.
"So he decided to rebel and the gods were like, "No this guy *Points at Caster Gil laughing video in the background*, this guy doesn't want to take orders from us, no come on, come on, you gotta be kidding me right this is a prank, come on where are a hidden cameras."
"And so with that Gods can no longer interfere with human, and thus begins the Age of Man with the birth of RNGESUS."
"From the year 0 A.D, the human population explodes, Magic and Magecraft get replaced with Science and most importantly Physics exists, Yay!!!," Satoru then took out a 9 inch party popper popped it.
"That's right screw your mystery, I got E = MC^2."
"So as we all know your Universe is all about this thing called the Holy Grail and the Holy Grail War. So we can finally get to that."
"You see the Grail is known as this omnipotent magical wish granting device and that's... only partially true,
"What do you mean by partially true." came the voice of Artoria and a few other servants.
"You see honey, the Grail is not a True Grail and grants wishes through Magecraft and Mana so, use your imagination now... anyways where was I."
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No more Ledgers and now I can finally start regularly updating.
Anyways guys hope you enjoyed the chapter.
Give me them power stone for extra Chaps. Children of Thanos.
Also go check out my other novel. Fate/Jojo's Bizzare Adventure.