LONELY (Krish's POV)

These six months have been the most painful time of my whole life. The time has flown in grey by keeping myself engaged. The students were the best distraction for me, teaching them was the only time I was able to forget everything and focus on them only. I started to take tuition classes during the evening now.

I wouldn't have survived this time if Akash wasn't there. He patiently handled me all these days. Listened to my ramblings, didn't react to my anger, took care of me when I was drunk, consoled me when I was crying, and comforted me when I was sad. He made sure to stay beside me whenever I needed him. He made sure I eat on time, stay hydrated, and have proper sleep. When Aaradh is here, he took care of him like a mother. If not for Akash, I would have been a crying mess and become a drunkard also.

Collecting my things, I put on my jacket and head out of the school. The cool evening breeze of Bangalore hit my face. I take a deep breath. A happy couple passed by me. It reminds me of Megha, of us, of our happy romantic moments. It adds to the void present in me for a few months now. The painful hollow, a reminder of my loss of the one I love the most. I walk to my house with my head hung down between my shoulders, staring at the road because I didn't want to look at anything which will remind me of her.

I step into my house or should I say the place which was my love nest for years and now it is just a house of no emotions. The environment of this place reminds me of her and I put a full stop to that thought immediately. No, I can't think about her. I try to keep my mind as numb as possible and as blank as it can be. But I fail her face keeps popping up in my head, her smile, her giggle, her voice, her scolding, her songs were the only things I could hear. She was there in every corner of this house. This house feels empty without her. Though I knew that the hatred towards her is no more alive inside me, I wasn't ready to face her. I had done stupid things impulsively. I sent her signed divorce papers. I know that she would be hating me to the core now. I know that the moment I try to approach her, Mathew will bury me alive. I won't complain about his anger toward me. I deserved this. I wasn't worthy of her. She deserves only happiness and I have hurt her multiple times now. I can't afford to make her cry again.

I sit on the couch staring blankly at the wine bottle in front of me. Debating with myself whether to drink it or not. Akash was in the kitchen preparing food for us. He was smiling and swaying rhythmically while cooking. He has been like this for a few days now, and I do know the reason. He was in love. He has a boyfriend now. I don't know who that guy is or how does he look. I just know that he is some colleague of his who swept him off his feet with his charming looks and kind character.

Akash took the wine bottle from the table while he served me tomato soup.

"You aren't allowed to drink", he said sternly

"Just a little bit", I pleaded

"No, by the way, Aaradh will be here any moment"

"Tomorrow is Saturday right?"

"They are going out tonight, so they are dropping Aaradh here today itself"

"Okay", I said

The doorbell went on and I knew it is Mathew. It is always him who drops Aaradh here. I haven't seen Megha even from far since the day she walked out of the house. Mathew made sure that she can never have glance at me.

Akash opened the door and the cute little son of mine showed his grabby hands to him. He took Aaradh in his arms and welcomed Mathew in.

I smiled at Mathew but he ignored me royally. He walked straight to the kitchen poured himself a glass of mango juice and sat at the dining table opposite to Akash.

"Thank you for letting us drop him off today itself", Mathew said to Akash

"Don't thank me. I'm happy to spend more time with Aaradh. So what are your plans tonight", Akash said

"Megha is going on a date tonight. Anyhow she is getting divorced so she has to move on from this man", he said.

A wave of jealousy took over me. I was the one who sent her the divorce papers so I have no right to feel anything about this. It is her right to see anyone she wants or dates anyone. But imagining her with any man alone was enough settle a dull ache in my heart. I walk to the dining table and take Aaradh from Akash.

"Convey my best wishes to her for her future", I said to Mathew with a forced smile. He just hummed in response and was ready to take a leave.

"It is my birthday next week, you remember right? I want you all to spend the whole day with me", Akash said

"Sure", Mathew said and walked out of the house.

I look at Aaradh who resembles his mother's eyes. The eyes that caught me off guard years ago. The pain in me fades away every time I have him with me. He is the one I love the most now if I exclude Megha. The whole purpose of my life now was to keep him happy.

I was eagerly looking forward to Akash's birthday because Megha will be there after six long months I will be able to see her at last. Maybe she has still not forgiven me. Maybe she will avoid me the whole time on that day. Maybe she will also be with her date on that day. But do I care? No. A glance at her is more than enough to make me happy now. If she is living a happy life then it is more than enough for me. I can hide my love for her if she is having a happy relationship with her date. Though it will be very hurtful for me because that is how much I love her.

I know I acted stupid. I know I told her the things which I shouldn't have. I regret every single word I told her. I failed to realize that even she would be going through the same pain as me. I failed to realize that even she is mourning the death of our daughter. I was just angry at myself that I couldn't protect myself and I ended up blaming Megha for everything. And now that I know that what I did was a very big mistake, she is no more with me. I had lost her forever physically. But my love for her will never fade away. I can live the rest of my life with her memories and with our son who resembles her looks and character.