133 Back Home

Once we're at the house and Brian is in bed, still passed out, trashcan right next to the bed, I go out into the living room with the other pictures so we can find all the issues. Simon, Big daddy and Aman left, needing to get to work. Tori, John, Lance and Lirael sit with me as we look at each picture checking issues. John and Tori help out with the ones that have John in them, Lance and Lirael start by finding all the pictures that my face is the same. Then I go through the ones that are in his apartment with the dates that there is no way that could be. We work long into the night, taking breaks only to order takeout and then eat when it's delivered and make coffee. It's past midnight when Lirael goes to lay down with Richard in the spare bedroom and I take that moment to go use the restroom and check on Brian.

I exit the bathroom to find Brian, sitting up looking like he's been run over.

"Sarina? What the... Why? How did I get here?" He rubs his head and I know he must have a killer headache. I grab some pain killers and bring it to him and motion to the bottle of water next to him. I contemplate how I should go about this.

"I found you and Lance helped me get you back home. You'd been missing for almost three days, Brian. No note, no way to contact you, nothing. Do you know how frantic I've been worrying about you? Then when I found out about those fake photos, not knowing what you were thinking.... You scared the shit out of me Brian." I try to keep my self together as the message sinks in.

"Fake photos?" He asks confusion filling his face at first then he shakes his head. "Explain please."

"While those photos are convincing at first, if you were to look at the DATES, they're WRONG. There are some in your apartment but the date is AFTER you had already moved out. Some are even dated for before you moved out, but the picture I painted is up on the wall. A good majority of the pictures my facial expression is EXACTLY THE SAME. There are others where the people are wearing outfits neither me or John own or would ever wear. Tori took note of it first and noticed the date on one photo couldn't be right because THEY were out of town TOGETHER on his business trip. Somebody did some kind of editing to make it look like I was cheating on you. I have NEVER cheated on you, Brian." I take a shaky breath and take a step back from the bed as he tries to process the information I just gave him.

"I'll give you some time to process this and for the meds to kick in." I sniffle as I turn to leave the room.

"Sarina?" His voice is low but I still heard it.

I pause and turn around, "Yes?"

"I'm sorry. I need some time to process this." His eyes are closed tightly and his breathing is elevated, his fists clenched around the blanket.

My heart drops into my stomach, my words come out broken, "Of course.." I blink the tears that form away and exit the room. I walk past the ones in the living room and head into the spare room where Lirael is laying down with Richard. I crawl into the bed with her and hold her. This makes her stir and turn to me in confusion.

"Sarina? What's the matter?" She wraps an arm around me and pats my back as I quietly cry and shake.

"I just need to sleep too." I finally get out.

Lirael makes a sound in her throat but pulls me close. "Alright, girl, just don't hog the blankets or the bed."

A chuckle escapes me, "I'll try not to."

Brian's POV

I wake to another skull splitting headache, a light flickering off in front of me.

What the fuck is someone in my room? I sit up in the bed and feel weird, looking at my surroundings.

I'm home? What the fuck?

I feel like I've been hit with a mac truck and set out in the Sahara to dry out.

Sarina walks out of the bathroom in that moment looking startled to see me awake.

"Sarina? What the... Why? How did I get here?" I rub my head, hoping for some alleviation of the pain, when Sarina comes over and offers me some pain pills and motions to the water bottle on the side table.

She's quiet for a moment while I take the pills. Then she speaks up.

"I found you and Lance helped me get you back home. You'd been missing for almost three days, Brian. No note, no way to contact you, nothing. Do you know how frantic I've been worrying about you? Then when I found out about those fake photos, not knowing what you were thinking.... You scared the shit out of me Brian."

She found me...? Wait.

"Fake photos?" Those were all fakes?! How though?

"Explain please." I ask her, shaking my head.

She takes a stance and informs me her voice remaining steady, except where she needed to emphasize her point, "While those photos are convincing at first, if you were to look at the DATES, they're WRONG. There are some in your apartment but the date is AFTER you had already moved out. Some are even dated for before you moved out, but the picture I painted is up on the wall. A good majority of the pictures my facial expression is EXACTLY THE SAME. There are others where the people are wearing outfits neither me or John own or would ever wear. Tori took note of it first and noticed the date on one photo couldn't be right because THEY were out of town TOGETHER on his business trip. Somebody did some kind of editing to make it look like I was cheating on you. I have NEVER cheated on you, Brian."

She takes a step back from me, watching me try to process all this. I knew something was off but it hurt too much to look at them. What I hate more is this sudden distance between us. A huge chasm where we look at each other differently.

"I'll give you some time to process this and for the meds to kick in." She sniffles as she turns to leave the room. I have to say something to her.

"Sarina?" My voice is weak but she pauses and turns anyways.

"Yes?" She looks extremely guarded right now, which I understand.

This hurt more than just me. I'm such a fucking idiot. I know her better than that. At first glance though, it was ... I was in shock.

"I'm sorry. I need some time to process this." My eyes are closed tightly, hating myself right now, clenching the blanket in my fists, wishing I had used my damn brain instead of rushing to try and drown out the images and pain they had caused in my content and happy life prior to seeing them.

"Of course." Her voice sounds like I've just shattered her heart.

I fucked up again.

I bury my head in my hands and try not to start crying. My head is still pounding like someone is beating a gong inside of it. I grab the water bottle and finish it off quickly. I need more but there is no way I trust myself to even stand up right now.

I'm thinking about what Sarina just told me, that the dates were not right, that her facial expressions were almost all the same. The clothing.

I felt something was off about those photos. Maybe if I had been sober, I would have seen it and maybe things would not feel so.... different between us. I'd be able to leave this pain behind and go out and wrap her in my arms, and promise her I will never make the same mistake again.

I don't know how long I've laid here wrapped in my own thoughts. When the sounds of something being set on the table makes my eyes pop open, I sit up quickly.

"Whoa. Brian, it's just me Lance. I brought you some more water." Lance points to the table. My mouth feels like I've slept with a dirty sock in it, so I take it gratefully.

"Thank you." I rasp, chugging the bottle down quickly.

"I'll grab you a couple more." Lance pops out and comes back less than a minute later and hands them over.

"Thanks." I take them, feeling rather embarrassed at the moment. "You and Lirael are here?" I ask him, still feeling like puzzle pieces are missing from my brain at the moment.

"Yeah. John and Tori went home to sleep since we're done going through the photos that we could. Sarina needs to finish going through them."

"John and Tori were here?" I ask surprised.

"Yeah. Tori is the one who realized that the date wasn't right. I guess after you fled from the office, she noticed the date and felt like that could not be right. She checked her calendar and said that her and John were on a trip together on that date so it couldn't be him. She still had a few pictures with her so she took them to show John and then they came over here. Sarina was in hysterics before that though. She was calling everyone she could think of to figure out where you were and why you had not come home man. She noticed the suitcase gone though. She told Lirael that she thought you left her cause you were not ready to have kids or something."

Lance takes a seat on the bed, "So you want to tell me why you went on a binger again?"