Woeful Soul

"Where... am I?"

Muchen Feng roused his awareness with difficulty. He found himself in a daze, his surroundings blurred by blinding streams of light all around him. Objects seemed to be abstract, and the world covered in a haze.

"What is… this place?" His thoughts were voiced out subconsciously as he assessed his surroundings.

His sense of self was warped, and he could barely perceive 50 meters around himself. This discordant feeling lasted for quite a bit before he got used to it and stood to leave.

Just as he mysteriously floated up in the unconstrained space, a new presence intruded in the area and alarmed him.

"You're home, disciple." A wizened old monk sat before him, his face abundantly clear despite everything else being clouded.

"Master!?" he shouted, before coming to ask what really unsettled his heart, "Li'er! Is she safe? Did she make it out? What about my children!?"

The man smiled and waved an arm, the effect inducing a strange state of calm in Muchen. Even against his will, he finally settled down and paid obeisance.

"She's fine. Everyone is fine, disciple, but..." the man paused, sizing up his disciple before sighing out the rest of his thoughts, "You're still as unruly as you were back then… If you had only been more patient, this wouldn't come to be."

Just as Muchen sighed in relief and happiness bloomed at the thought of his family being safe, the man ruthlessly continued.

"You're dead, Muchen. I'm sorry."

"Huh?"

"I salvaged what I could from your soul. You were fortunate you didn't draw any spirits and end up erased from existence, or drawn into the underworld for that matter."

"What happened?"

"Well, save the city you did, but your body couldn't bear the result."

"I see," assailed by various mixed emotions, he could only freeze, his expression undergoing various stages until finally settling on forlorn acceptance. "Can I see my family before I pass on?"

Muchen was strangely calm in front of mortality. Among their temple, it was firmly believed that all mages pass through the Great Wheel upon death, reincarnating into new life.

"It's best that you don't. It will only worsen your attachments to this life. Though your family grieves, they will overcome it. Your wife was ill in the hospital after you passed, but I looked at her and she will recover and live for another 3 years."

'Three years, huh,' he thought with a rueful sigh. He didn't know what quite to make of this distant man in front of him. He looked the same ever since he met him sixty years ago, yet despite seeming to hold one foot in the grave, he didn't seem to age a day.

Yet, no matter how much respect he had for this wizened master of his, he couldn't help but feel he was a bit too callous towards life. Perhaps he would be the same if he'd lived for two centuries and seen so much death. This frail Tibetan monk could very well dominate a region with his power, yet he hadn't acted in decades.

Perhaps if he had extended a hand…

"You blame me, child?"

"No, master… I just—"

"Your soul is unprotected. Your thoughts are almost literally on your face."

The man smiled, uncaring for the insulting distrust from one of the hundreds of disciples he raised over the years.

"The Kismet shackles me as much as anyone, Muchen. Perhaps more so than you, even."

"I understand, master." He sighed ruefully, "So? What is to become of me?"

"I salvaged your soul to give you a choice. Become an ancestral spirit to guard the temple and teach young disciples, or pass on through the wheel. I will host the ritual for you. I will do at least this much for you."

"I see. Can I know what happened? What triggered the calamity?"

"Hmm. It was that old corpse in India. The Zapathasura woke up with a temper, or someone woke him. The situation is still unclear, but the disaster is far-reaching. It's said that fifty million died in India alone. You just dealt with an aftershock."

"Him? A vampire could cause such damage!?"

"Do not underestimate their kind, child. They slept for so long the world has nigh forgotten them, but each action they take can end or make a nation."

"I'll take note of it in my next life, I suppose."

Both of them lapsed into silence at the implication.

"You do that. I will prepare the ritual to send you off."

As the man disappeared in a flash, Muchen remained adrift in his thoughts. He didn't wish to become a stray spirit in the temple. Despite his fond memories of the place, he was never too attached to the cause. The internal wars of the magi were too bothersome for him. He was more sentimental than pragmatic, which is probably why he didn't make it past seventy-five.

He dedicated himself to uplifting humanity with his brilliance. His inventions were at odds with the traditionalist mindset of the temple, which is why they grew estranged. His views didn't necessarily clash with their goals, but it didn't please his master either when he set out to create an 'infinite' energy source.

Perhaps it was just a matter of having different understandings of what matters, or perhaps the love strings tied him too closely to his mundane family. Either way, he grew further and further from the teachings of his master.

Time seemed to pass differently in spirit form. Unconstrained by his body, his thoughts were free and his mind spun quickly, pondering over the entirety of his life. With it, seeds of regret bloomed and he couldn't help but wonder: What if?

These doubts crept across his soul and contaminated it with a burning unwillingness to part with his life. He was inches short of success, and the thought of his life's dream being severed in the aftermath of the disaster struck him hard.

There was also his family, the thought of which bit his soul deeply like a venomous blade. His grieving wife was meant to die within years, and he simply found it unacceptable that she would die so young. At least, in his mind, 67 was far too soon for his beloved to perish.

"Li'er…" he muttered her name softly for the last time, then sealed his thoughts from the world. Meanwhile, a rebellious spark in his wounded heart found itself nourished by great determination.