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I woke up as an Ancient Slab, what is the Meaning of This!?

Evan Myers was an ordinary, everyday college student, he was boring as hell, but one day while he was power napping, instead of waking up on his apartment couch, he woke up in a pure white room with a spin wheel like in those game shows, [ what the hell ] he thought, but he spun the wheel anyways, he got option 7, [ hell yeah my lucky number is 7! ] , little does he knows that option 7 means he will reincarnate as a Slab. Follow his stupid adventure as he tries to gain a mortal human body and maybe slay the Demon King? Nah, he probably won't slay the Demon King.. Fair warning : This story does not take itself seriously. If you like a more serious, intense storyline, then this might NOT be your cup of tea. It's like the difference between an epic waterslide and a lazy river. This story being categorized as the latter. Also, this is positively isekai T R A S H. Also also, the whole thing is a m e s s, but do I care about it? Of course! It keeps me up at night :)

Dheafarccane · Fantasía
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31 Chs

Chapter 3

" What happened back there? Why were you chased? ".

As I asked that, the youth was seemingly startled at my sudden question, but then, he loosened up and started to explain.

" Well, as you might have already guessed, I am an Adventurer, from the << Vansborough >> City Branch Guild, my rank is E, and recently, I passed an Advancement Exam to be able to finally be allowed to hunt here, in this Magical Forest. "

He said. "After meeting up with my assigned Hunting Party, the Party and I went off to hunt here, the first few days went well, we subjugated many Magic Beasts and collected their materials, but then.. ".

He paused for a moment, then continued with. " After about a week, when we were hiking, a sudden attack from a Magic Beast separated me from my Party, I was then promptly pursued by a << Lesser Gargoyle >>. So I ran as fast as I could to lose that Beast, but whatever I do, it always seem to catch up to me, then I was hit a few times, luckily I didn't get burned by the Gargoyle's << Fireball >>. Then, I tripped and fell, and was graciously saved by you. ". He explained.

⟨ Wow, that was unfortunate of him.. ⟩.

To console him, I said. " Well, I'm glad I saved you at just the right time. ". I said, with a soft smile, he then looked away for some reason..

⟨ Why did he looked away? Maybe it was because of my voice, I said that cheesy line with a monotoned voice and a creepy smile after all, ugh, maybe I shouldn't have smiled.. He probably feels unnerved right now.. ⟩.

When I leaned over to see his face, instead of him making a pale face, his face was flushed, to the point of making his ears red.

⟨ Huh, why is he flustered, I wonder?? Oohh!! Maybe because I look like a girl in this form! Maybe he thought that I was a beautiful princess or something! Hahahahahaha!! Oh my God! It's probably because this body has quite the androgynous face and long hair. And I just said that line, with the smile too. Wow, I can't believe it.. ⟩.

Then just as I thought of that, the fishes were done cooking, and I had the brightest idea ever. Let's tease him! So I took a skewer, and said.

" The fish is done, here's your fill, handsome~"

I said, teasingly, with a wink, and to my amusement, he took it briskly with a bright red face and started eating it facing away from me. He now seem even more flustered.

⟨ AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! OH MY LORD! I LOVE HIS REACTIONS!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA~~~!! ⟩.

Holding my tremendous urge to laugh out loud at his reaction, I also try to eat the cooked fish.

⟨ I wonder if I can eat regular food.. ⟩.

So, when I bit into the fish, being extra careful not to choke because I have the giggles, nothing in particular happened, it's just that, I cannot taste the food at all.

⟨ Now this is just sad, even though I was reincarnated, I can't taste anything new.. Maybe it was karma from teasing the youth, speaking of him, I haven't yet to know his name.. Let's go ask. ⟩

" Hey, it's kind of awkward to speak to you without knowing your name, can you tell me? Or, do you prefer being called handsome or gorgeous by me? ". I asked. Teasingly, of course.

" I-It's Luke! M-my name is Luke.. " He replied, almost yelling.

⟨ Okay, he told me his name, so I must tell him mine. I wonder how would he react once he knows my name is Evan, and that I'm actually a guy, *snickers* ⟩.

So, I replied, " Nice to meet you, Luke, I am Evan Myers, call me Evan. ".

Luke's face when he heard my name was priceless, haah~~ I want to tease him until the end of time~. So, I asked.

" How is the fish? Is it good? ".

" I-it's good! .. it's good.. ".

" Hehehe.. I'm glad ".

Luke seems like he was at a loss with the current situation he's in, ⟨ By the way, he said he was from Vansborough or something, let's ask where's that. ⟩.

" Hey, Luke, you said you were from Vansborough right? Can you tell me where it is? In truth, I am also stranded here. ". I asked.

" Huh, you don't know? All right then, the City of Vansborough is a large fortress city situated in the northernmost territory of The Ardria Kingdom, which is the kingdom we are in right now, protecting the Kingdom from the Beasts that occasionally emerge from this Forest and rampaged about, nicknamed Impenetrable Steel Fortress of Ardria, Vansborough City is a place where people who seek fame gathers, like adventurers, they gain fame by subjugating monsters and uncovering ancient relics buried deep in the Forest, although, not many achieved said fame and simply died somewhere in the slums of Vansborough. ". He explained.

He followed up with another explanation, " Vansborough is also where the largest Garrison of soldiers and knights gather, there, a total of 25 Soldier Corps and 10 Knight Orders were stationed to guard against any possible danger from the Monster Stampedes, ah, a Monster Stampede is a large horde of Assorted Beasts of all kinds who rampaged about, there was a legend where a whole Kingdom was destroyed in a matter of days due to the Stampede, so, it was the highest honor for a soldier or a knight to be stationed there. ".

" I see.. So, where to go to get to Vansborough? I want to leave this Forest behind.. ". I replied.

" To be honest, I'm not sure either, because when I was chased, I simply ran around aimlessly, trying to escape, maybe if I can find a river or a stream, I can track it upstream, because Vansborough is located near a lake, so it has multiple small rivers and streams nearby which all flow towards this Forest.. Wait, where did you catch these fish, Evan? ". He suddenly asked, with an inquisitive aura around him, I was unnerved so I blurted out.

" Uuhh.. The river?? ".

" THAT'S IT!! Where is that river!? We probably can get out of this Forest if we tracked the river upstream!! ". He exclaimed, suddenly regaining confidence and losing that bashful look at a moment's notice without a trace. Sceptical, I asked

" Are you sure? The river might branch off into different directions you know? ".

" Of course I am! It's common knowledge among Vansborough Adventurers that every river in the Magic Forest is a safe route that always lead back to Vansborough! So let's go immediately!!! ". He said, with a confident smile.

Although reluctant, I decided I should trust him, because he probably knows better than me, so I lead him to the river, after trekking for a little, we arrived at the river he was talking about, with a look of triumph and relief on his face, Luke declared

" Yes! With this we can surely get back to Vansborough safely! ".

" Aren't monsters going to appear frequently to drink? How is this safe? ". I asked.

" Huh? Of course it's safe! There are no monsters that approach this river whatsoever, even though the reason is unclear, it is a tried and true fact that following the river upstream will take one safely to Vansborough without encountering even the weakest of monsters! Everyone knows this! ". He replied.

" U-umm.. I-I'm sorry.. ". I apologized weakly, I feel like crying..

" I-it's okay!! It's okay! I'm the one who should be sorry! That I yelled at you and all.. ". He said, frantically apologising

" Actually, it's me who should be thankful! Y-you saved me after all, and cooked food for me and even led me to the river.. I am such a failure to yell at you even though you did all that for me.. So please don't be sad! Because you were very helpful.. So, thank you once again.. ". He said, trying to soothe me.

⟨ Did he just called me helpful? Does that mean I'm useful?? Does that mean I'm finally worthwhile to be around?! That I'm not useless?! Am I finally getting recognized by someone?! ⟩. I-.. I don't know what to say, I-.. I'm so happy that I was of use for once.. Shut up! I'm not going to cry!

" Was I really helpful? ". I asked with shining eyes.

" Y-Yes of course you are! So don't feel down about yourself. ". He replied. With a gentle smile, different from his fearless, confident smile.

⟨ So it's true! I am useful! You see this Father!? I can be useful too!! Aahh, I'm so happy right now ⟩. Overcame with happiness I lunged my body to hug Luke.

" I'm glad.. I'm so, so glad.. I'm finally worth something.. ".

I muttered, crying in his arms, although he was taken aback at first because of my sudden hug, he responded by giving me a bear hug, because he was wearing armor, the hug was cold to the touch, but somehow, it still felt warm and soft to me, it feels comfortable, so this is what a hug feels like, no wonder people like doing it so much.

====[ Author's Note ]====

Aaww.. Evan is a lonely boi.. Even though he is a little bully, he is a soft boi at heart.

If you enjoy this story, vote with a power stone! If you don't want to miss anything, add to Library! If you have something to say, feel free to write a comment, I'll do my best to answer some of them, even if you just wanted to vent your stress, and even if you're just feeling a little lonely, it's okay! Comment it out! Don't bottle it all up! I am always here to listen!

Please be informed that this is a Fictional work and any and all resemblance to a real Person or Place or Things or Ideas are purely coincidental and know that this humble author means no harm.

And remember kids! Piracy is Frowned Upon! So don't steal stuff unless you want to be turned into a coffee table made of your own flesh and bones!

Damn, Evan is such a bully..

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