Chapter 22: Believe

When I calmed down, I decided to bring a glass of water for him. I didn't want him to think that I wanted to hide from him or something.

My hands were all shaky as I held the tall glass. I tried to ignore it and just walked my way down the hall but I stopped myself when I saw Lucas standing near the skittles machine.

I smiled. So he likes candies, huh? His left hand was holding his waist while examining the whole stall. I was now walking towards him when he turned to me while holding a new cup of skittles.

"You like skittles, huh?" I voiced out my thought to him. But I swear he looks so cute while holding that small cup full of colorful candies. He's like a boy addicted to it.

He reflected my smirk and muttered, "Not really,"

He held the door open for me before we went out again. The only thing that's left on the table was food and drinks. I even noticed that the lights that served us a while ago was even more dimmed now, making the stars more evident for us.

It's kind of a romantic scene for me but I know, for him, this is nothing. Besides the fact that he believes that love is one of the things that constantly changes, he only treats me as a friend. There is nothing special to him about this.

I became a little sad because of that. But there's no time to dwell on that now. What matters more to me is now. I will worry about tomorrow later.

I quietly sat down on the grass again as I opened the bag of Cheetos. I sensed he did the same. Only that he opened the drink.

I'm afraid to look at him because I didn't want to see his eyes' expression because I'm afraid that when our orbs meet, he might read my thoughts about him.

I looked up at the dark sky instead. It is dotted with millions of stars who are trying to kiss the round and beautiful moon.

I automatically smiled. We people are just like the moon; so lovely and full of imperfections. But just like it, we shined in times of darkness and coldness. We choose to give light for others to see through the dark.

Makes me wonder what if we don't have the moon. There would be no one who will dance with the ocean. There would be no one who the stars would kiss. There would be no one when the sun has set. Pitch black.

If not for the moon, there would be nightmares, because the moon lights our way. Because the moon reminds us that life is still beautiful even when you're covered in darkness.

Now, what about the sun? He gives light to people and when the night comes, she'll shine the light right back to him. The sun, he gives us warmth using his rays, reminding us that life is full of sunshine. He helps us see the beauty in everything.

I suddenly want to make a poem right now. There are so many things on my mind right now and all I ever wanted is to write it on paper. I have my inspiration-the skies.

But I stopped myself. Lucas is here and I don't want him to see my journal once again, maybe later. I also think that now is not the time for it. I should talk to him about light stuffs, I guess. But I just don't know how to start.

"What are you thinking?" I removed my smile that was caused about thinking about the heavenly bodies too much.

I turned to him and I realized that he was observing me the whole time. His one elbow is inclined at the chair behind him while his other hand was holding his soft drink.

His stares were intense that makes him very attractive. The light from the moon and stars gave reflection to his supposedly dark eyes. I tore my gaze off of him when I couldn't contain the intensity of his stares anymore.

"Nothing," I said while I bothered myself in eating chips.

He laughed and he mimicked the way I talked. I glared at him so he laughed even harder.

"So you're selenophile, huh?" He asked as soon as he stopped laughing. Actually, I'm not just a lover of the moon. It's also the sea, the sun and its sunset, the rain, and the dark.

"I think so," I said. "How'd y-you know?" I asked while stuttering even though I think I know how.

"You like, mentioned it a thousand times in your poems," he said as he snatched the bag of chips on my hand.

"Don't even make me remember that," I rolled my eyes.

He laughed hard while I probably looked constipated. He knew exactly how to piss me off.

"Your poems are great, actually," he said. A little spark lighted up within me. I was touched by what he said. I then remembered he told me that he laughed at me because he didn't expect me to be a hopeless romantic kind of girl. He didn't laugh because my works are lame.

Now I don't care if he thinks of me as a big fan of love. I stared at him and saw sincerity in his eyes.

"But I don't believe in love," oh, I know that.

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"I just don't, lust exist. It is different, you know. You can get the latter without the idea of love. Most people these days are blinded by lust. That's why the can say that they love but truth is, it's just the call of the body,"

He has a point. But not all people have that kind of mindset. I mean, they just don't get married to have sex, right? Like, it's petty and low.

"People are blinded by the idea that love is just about romance. Love is about commitment, patience, and kindness. And it binds us to loyalty and faithfulness," I said.

Because why would people face the altar if all they ever feel is romance? Only the crazy would. Marriage is a life changing decision. Even being in a relationship does. They know they have to commit. But he is right. Twenty first century people only think about romance. They are just all after the feeling of being wanted and the pleasure it brings.

I looked at him and I saw amusement in his eyes again. Like the expression he showed me in our entertainment room.

"Let's just stop. Let us believe on what we want to believe, then," he said while chuckling. He sipped on his drink before looking up at the sky. My eyes twinkled.

I laughed and joined him. I'll never get tired of looking at them.

"Why are you so bitter about it, anyways?" I asked.

I'm actually feeling good. We're like star gazing while we eat and talk about stuffs that allows us to know each other more.

"I'm not bitter. It's just what I believe in,"

"More like, just what you experience?"

He didn't answered immediately and starting from there, I started to doubt that something must've happened that bruised his perspective.