Chapter 2: The perfect storm

Summary:

Jimin locks himself in an old practice room.

Chapter Text

WARNING! THERE IS DETAILED TRIGGERING CONTENT, PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU GET TRIGGERED EASILY PLEASE STAY SAFE. also thank you so much for reading!

-2 Days after the Jimin incident-

12:40 AM

Sweat trickled down Jimin's neck, his blue hair pressed down against his head. His legs burned from the last few hours of dancing. He had been at the studio since ten that night, it was now nearing one in the morning close to his decided time.He was practicing to forget, forget his talks, his fights, the good and bad of the past two days.

Loud generic pop music blared through the small practice room, he had found an old one that was rarely used anymore. If he was being honest the past forty minutes had just been him free styling it to some English pop music. He felt like he could focus better on dancing and thinking when he had no lyrics he could understand to distract him. Jimin stopped the music, opting to lay on the hard floor for a few minutes. Allowing his thoughts to catch up with him.

Familiar voices made themselves heard outside, Jimin pressed his body up to the door to take a listen. "It's Jimin again. I love that boy to death, but he can be very problematic sometimes. Not only did he pull that stunt the other night, but his live performances are declining. He is having trouble with the groups basic dance practices, he's reverting back to pre-debut Jimin..." The voices moved with the owners out of Jimin's earshot.

He felt tears roll down his face and he wiped at the furiously, he had no right to cry when everything said by the staff member was true. His hand reached to the doorknob turning the lock. He never locked to door while practicing, then again, he wasn't going to practice.

Jimin ran a shaky hand through his hair and scanned the room, the far wall across from him was completely mirror and the rest of the room was an off white. The room was small, just large enough to practice in. Since it was almost never used it had sort of become a storage area, foldable metal chairs had been stacked next to a lamp or two and an old cream couch. He spotted his bag on the couch, and felt the urge to hear someone's voice, anyone's. He sat on the couch next to his bag. He loved the feeling of sitting on it, of sinking down into the softness. That couch had been there when he was a trainee, he remembered sneaking off to sleep on that couch, or playing cards with Tae on it.

Jimin reached his hand in the bag feeling around for his phone. He immediately clicked on his most recent number, not needing to look at the name to know who it was. "Hey Chim, is this important?" Jimin's heart sank a bit that was Taehyung's I can't talk right now I'm really sorry voice. "No, it's cool sorry for bothering you." "Chim you could never bother me, it's just that me and Hosek are in the middle of this really intense Mario cart tournament. I can call back in like twenty minutes." Jimin laughed sincerely "It's really fine Tae, I just wanted to hear your voice. I'm still in the old practice room. I'll probably just crash here." Taehyung was quiet for a second "Ok. Bye Jimin, I love you man." And with that Jimin hung up.

Of course he would go and bother Tae when he was feeling upset. Jimin always seemed to get in the way of others or burden them with his problems when he was feeling down, and he hated himself for it. The alarm he set on his phone started going off signaling that it was already 1:00. Before he knew it tears were streaming down his face and a few sobs escaped him. Jimin wiped at his face with his sweatshirt sleeve and shivered, he always seemed to be cold nowadays probably a side effect of not eating. He moved from the couch to the floor sitting in front of the stacked foldable chairs. He pulled his bag down from off the couch, once again reaching in and this time pulling out his cosmetic bag. He pulled a small pill bottle and his razor from the smaller pouch. He examined the bottle of sleeping pills the label read his name and Eszopiclone, he'd been taking these pills to fall asleep for years.

Jimin picked up his water bottle and wasted no time popping handful after handful of the small white pills into his mouth. He felt the powder against his tongue, it was satisfyingly bitter. He almost gaged as some of the powder caught against the back of his throat. He coughed violently, only calming down after taking one last swig of water. Jimin then picked up the razor, loving the light feeling it ha. He ran his finger over it lightly appreciating the smooth feeling of its side. He brought it up to his wrist, not high enough to quiet reach his bundle of blue veins but not love enough to be considered his forearm he pushed it into his skin dragging it across watching as the sticky red started to run down the side of his wrist and drip onto the floor. He stared up at the ceiling tears obstructing his actual vision.

Jimin's mind wandered to his friends.

To Namjoon who had always been there to talk, who was the best leader he could have ever asked for in a group, the Namjoon who was embarrassed to act cute, who carried the weight of the groups problems even if he wasn't asked to, the Namjoon who would do any and everything for every one of his members. He loved just spending time with Namjoon, he was honestly Jimin's inspiration. He was one of the only reasons Jimin didn't quit when he was still a trainee.

To Jin who had honestly been like a father to him, the Jin who raised him. Jin could always get him to talk even if he didn't want to. Jin was always there to take care of Jimin, even when he didn't want to be taken care of. Jin who needed to spend more time doing what he loved instead of putting his energy into the kids. Jin who was always prepared to have fun and act like a kid with the maknae line but would turn around and be ready to scold them for being stupid just as quickly.

To Yoongi who had helped him through every panic attack. The Yoongi who was probably the most mature out of all of them, who pretended he didn't care, even though he probably cared the most. The Yoongi who he sometimes worried about. Who had a great sense of humor, and amazing gummy smile.

To Hosek, his perfect roommate. A ray of sunshine that could light up even his darkest rainy days. The guy who spent his free time making others smile or creating new choreography. Jimin owed a lot to his roommate. Hosek was like an older brother to him, protective and loving yet also ready to have fun with him and laugh with him to no end. He wished Hosek would slow down sometimes and really appreciate the things they did, Hosek would get so much more from their adventures if he did.

He thought until he was to lightheaded to think anymore, a teal color edged at his vision. He felt sick, he felt a large lump burning his throat. His body convulsed knocking the metal chairs behind him, they crashed to the ground loudly. He vomited on the ground. The vomit mixing with the pool of blood made him sick. A loud knock on the door caused him to feel panic "Mr.Park? I heard a crash and what sounded like vomiting, are you ok in here?" Instead of answering Jimin just vomited again. The doorknob jiggled "Sir you know it's against company rules to lock the door, I'm coming in!"

Jimin tried to stand, slipping on the blood that had pooled on the ground. The fall felt as if it was in slow motion cool air whipping around him as his eyes closed. He hit the ground and was out like a light.

----------------------- 1:40 AM

Every phone in the dorm had gone off at least once, waking Namjoon up as he looked at the caller ID. What was BangPD-nim doing calling this early. Still groggy with sleep he clicked the green answer button, his voice came out horse "Hello?"