Actual problem

Well... After weeks, I started thinking. Now I am on a goodwill mission instead of living my own life? Bringing joy to others is something, what makes everyone happy, even if they say, that the world should end, die humanity...

I actually have a secret. My. It is only for me and I started this life to speak about it, know more about it and explore it...

Now I am doing great, but though Christmash is coming, I feel like a dad caring for his wife. Kids these days should think about gifts for themselves and to others. How romances are made in the snow, you know, rom-com stuff.

But my actual problem is, that I still do not have a single clue what and who I am... Am I supposed to be on this or the other side of the genders... Or both or what... Should I buy women's clothing or look at the men's shop? What hairstyle should I have? And it is not like a childish problem, it definetly, concretely turns the medicinal and my world to it's head...

My friend said, that he would like to refrain, since this is my life, he does not feel like giving me an answer, what would make me go under the knife. He want me as I am. I mean he is right, but so much is going on, that I have zero time even to watch a movie...

To solve my real problem, actually has one thing, what helps. It is biology. I started training. The female and male muscle differs at the nether regions. I will be, what science says, what I am. Then I will have no options given by myself to freak about... well, myself...