My New Life Starts in...Darkness?

I turned my head immediately at the sight of the blinding light being emitted.

'First, I died, and now I'm being blinded. This is the worst thing to wake up to!'

Upon the light dying down, I opened my eyes. "W-Woah..."

"I hope my new form is much more pleasing to you, Jacob."

As I uncovered my eyes, I was met by a pair of mesmerizing, vivid green eyes looking back at me. I stared back at the unknown girl's flawless features. She had wavy, white hair and a healthy-looking tan.

"Are you alright, Jacob?" The girl leaned in closer to me causing me to fall while trying to back away.

"Ah, I'm good! Just surprised by your new look, is all."

"Oh, is it that displeasing to you? I tried my best to cater to your demand. I have no idea what this 'supermodel' is, but I briefly scanned your memories to see what your type was. I noticed your inherent fondness for something called 'waifus' and this Jessica you bonded with in the past."

"Jessica... Wait, did you search through my memories, too?! No!!" I quickly fell into the fetal position as I contemplated running away. "Oh, I'm going to die of embarrassment!"

"That would be pretty difficult as you are already dead--"

"Don't you think I know that! What even are you, anyway? Some kind of Reaper here to take me to the afterlife...You're not Death, are you?"

"Not at all."

"Whew! That's good news."

"But, I am responsible for guiding you to your afterlife."

"Oh, that is reassuring. I thought you were going to...Excuse me?!"

"Yes, my job is to lead you to your afterlife. I am what you may call God.

"That's just as bad! I don't want to die just yet!"

'I can't believe God saw all of my most embarrassing memories...Isn't there some rule about leaving the dead to rest or something? Why did you have to open old wounds like that...' I started swirling my finger around on the floor, leaving ripples like in water.

"If it makes you feel any better, I only saw a little."

"You know that does kind of make me feel better."

"I can't believe you got dumped by your girlfriend of two years like that." I could see the girl start making a mocking face at me.

"Don't rub it in! I thought you were supposed to be nice!"

"I am only kidding, of course. But, indeed, I am here to send you off to your own chosen afterlife. A gift to make amends for all the things that you had to endure due to your bad luck."

'Well, that definitely beats sitting here in this dark expanse for all of eternity. Maybe I could even ask to go back to Earth with all my memories--'

"No." She denied me so flatly.

"Hey! I didn't even get to finish my thoughts!"

"I am sorry Jacob, but I can not send you back to Earth in any form. There are certain rules we must follow. Even those that keep us divine beings in check. It is all about balance."

"Hmm. Then where can I go if not back to Earth? I can't imagine there being too many options to go for a dead guy like me."

"That is where you are wrong. You are permitted more than the average soul would even get."

"Due to my bad luck, right? What was even with that? Why did I have to go through that? The answer better is at least somewhat sufficient."

'Yeah! I did die because of something out of my control. Maybe, it was due to a mystical pact my ancestors made with the Devil? Or maybe I was cursed with this bad luck which makes me some sort of anti-hero or something? I know it has to be something cool like that, right?"

I noticed the girl was avoiding making eye contact with me and her face got all red. She was playing with her hands and fidgeting a lot.

"Don't tell me it was just an accident?!"

"I'm sorry, Jacob. The reason for your bad luck wasn't due to something extravagant like that. It was..."

I couldn't hear what she was saying as she started mumbling at the end. I moved forward to hear better but still nothing.

"Come on it can't be that bad."

"I slipped up, okay?! I was in charge of giving each new human born a certain amount of good luck and bad luck. When I got to you, I sort of...gave you the bad luck of 100 humans."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing and stopped altogether.

"Whew! Now I feel much better!"

"I don't!! Give me back my worry! I can't believe I really died as a result of you being lazy..."

"Not lazy! Just not being productive. Yeah, that's it!"

"You're just mincing words! You freaking lazy God! Goddess?"

I saw tears start to well up in the girl's eyes as she looked at me.

"Waah! I can't believe you called me lazy!"

'What am I looking at now? Can Gods even cry? Whatever I better stop her...'

I walked over to the now crying Goddess and patted her head.

"P-Please stop crying! If anything I should be crying..."

"B-But, you said that I was lazy! I happen to be the reigning God of Productiveness!"

'Okay, I know you are just making stuff up to heal your wounded pride. Eh?"

She started making a pouting face at me.

"Oh! I mean you are definitely the most productive God I know! Not that I know that many Gods. Ehehe."

"Anyways! I think you should now pick your chosen world to reincarnate into. Any world of your choosing."

"I see..."

I start to walk around in circles as I ruminate on the thought. The Goddess started doing the same, following close behind me. I didn't pay her any heed as there were more important things to worry about.

'She says that but I have no clue what kind of world I want to go to...I definitely want to go to a good world, not something too dangerous. Oh, a world with many different kinds of regions isn't bad.'

"Mm!"

'I guess it definitely has to have humans in it so that I'm not too different. Actually, why not all sorts of races?'

"Mm!"

'I guess I definitely want to be able to use something like magic! Oh, and I definitely have to have dragons!"

"Mm-hm!" I stop walking around in a circle and I feel someone hit me from behind. I turn to look and see the Goddess scribbling notes into a notebook. She finally finishes writing and looks up at me, giving me a thumbs up with a cute look on her face.

"Anything more you want? ...What?"

"No! Please, give it back Jacob! I'm not finished writing yet!" I ignore her pleas as I hold her back with one hand, and I use the other to hold up the notebook. I look at what's on the page, and I mostly just see stupid doodles. I quickly get irritated as there is nothing useful on this paper but childish-looking drawings.

"No! Don't rip it up! I was writing down everything you were saying you wanted to have in your ideal world!"

"More like you were snooping in my head, and reading my thoughts again! Even more of a reason to rip this up!" I rip the piece of paper out of the notebook as she starts to cry again. I then rip the paper into a million pieces as I laugh like a madman.

"This should teach you to stay out of my head, you lazy Goddess!"

"No!" The Goddess quickly leaps onto the small paper pile I left behind in my wake. Her tears falling onto the paper as she tries to piece them back together.

"How could you..."

"I just hate how you don't care about my personal space, my head included." I turn my back to the Goddess as I try to ignore her cries. "Oh! Woe is me! How will I ever get this back together?"

'Don't care.' Although, I thought this I also felt bad about making a Goddess cry. Eventually, I caved in and turned around to help her. But as soon as I turned around--

"All done!"

"Hah?"

"Yeah, once I figured it was hopeless to put it back together using my hands, I just used my Divine nature to put it back together. Aren't I so smart? Praise me, Jacob!"

"No."

"You said it so bluntly!"

"Also, how can you use your powers so wastefully like that?! Shame on you."

"But, I did it for you, Jacob..." I could see her getting beet-red and playing with her hands. This would have been cute from anyone else but not from God!

I only looked at her in disgust.

"Wah! Don't look at a Goddess that way! I'll curse you!"

"Oh, yeah? What are you going to do, give me even more bad luck?! I think that ship has long since sailed."

"O-Oh, sorry about that."

"You are forgiven."

'But in all seriousness, where am I going to decide to get sent to? I can't even think about any other world other than Earth right now. Besides, I still have unfinished business there. What's going to happen to my apartment and possessions? Worst of all, what are Josh and the others going to do now that I am gone? I wish I could find out what happened with that bug before Arcadian Records sequel launches...

"So, you want to be reincarnated into the world of Arcadian Records, then? A fine choice! I will send you there immediately."

'Wait, what did she just say...I'm going to be reincarnated into Arcadian Records...!'

"Wait, that's not what I meant!"

But it was too late as I saw a beam of light spread out all around me.

"Oh, and try not to move too much! I don't want to displace your soul during transportation.

'Wait, displacement? Get me out of here!" I started to try to break out of the barrier of light around me as soon as those words left her mouth. They couldn't have been good.

"Wait! I said not to move around, didn't I? You are the type of human that asks for a lot but doesn't listen in return, aren't you? Just come down as you are about to feel weird in a moment.

'Wait, feel weird? How weird? ...!" I could feel it. It was like my body was weightless but heavy at the same time. I was floating yet I was also sinking at the same time. I felt both good and bad.

'I think I'm going to be sick!'

"Don't you dare vomit in here! Wait, can soul vomit? Jacob, I want to test a theory..."

I couldn't hear what she was saying as my senses felt all jumbled. The last thing I saw was the Goddess trying to tell me something before nothing but darkness was left.

I could feel my soul being sucked into something.

After a long period of time, I could feel a sort of warmness.

I didn't know what it was, but it was rather warm and felt nice.

Eventually, I could feel that warmness spread throughout my body all the way down to my extremities. I wanted to move my arms and legs but couldn't. Not that I didn't have any to move, I just couldn't. Not yet, anyway.

Another long period of time had passed. I'm not sure how many days, months, or years had even passed but they certainly were passing.

Each day I tried to move my arms and legs, each day I had failed to. But I was not to be perturbed. I kept at it until I was able to move one of my arms. Not too much, but a bit. I thought it was just a twitch at first but then it happened again.

I continued to move my arms and legs until I could move them almost freely.

That was when *it* started to crack.

"...Huh?"