16

if a tree falls, and theres no one around to see it, does it ever truly make a sound?

we've all heard a variation of this line somewhere.

if something isnt real until its observed, is nothing real if no one is looking at it?

this world is confusing. paradoxes and tricks and infinities and lies and deceptions and accusations trick everyone.

Is everything a lie?

You know, i seriously dont know why i keep writing if no ones gonna read it, but i read somewhere that its better to get everything out, but how can i get it out if everything's jumbled up?

if one day i cut too deep then whatever.

if one day i mix up pills and alcohol then whatever.

too many secrets kept from too many people and so much that no one will ever, E V E R know.

over my dead body.

it's much too early into the night, only 11pm, to be feeling broken, but welp.

maybe i should write when im happier but its so hard to write anything happy.

he cuts and sometimes he regrets telling his best friend that he does so he's stopped telling her when he does and he's been clean for more than a month but he's not sure because he doesn't keep track.

he wants to run away and sleep in a field of freshly cut grass under stars that he can actually see, but alone. or maybe with his best friend. yeah, it might be better with her. he doesnt know.

he wants to start over with a new identity and a new person because whoever he is right now, it isn't who he really is. he doesn't even know who he truly is, just that it isnt the person he is now.

its so confusing that my head's pounding.

oh well.

guess he'll die.

im confused.