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Dedicated to a specific person, but anyone's welcome to read it.

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It's getting bad again. I adore the night but it brings with it pain i didn't ask for.

i can bear it most nights but i need an outlet and this is the one of the only ways i see.

ya know, this is a slightly personal chapter and if you're reading this then i thank you for it, because this isn't a story, tho i suppose none of the chapters are.

my friend read this 'book', i'm not sure if him/her still does, but if they do, you know who you are.

im scared of letting you down. i can't tell you this through chat or in real life but i'm terrified of letting you down.

plus, in my eyes, you're perfect. sometimes i break and i tell you and sometimes i don't as much as i want to because i'm scared.

you know what it feels like.

hell, you've probably dealt with this for longer than i have, i'm not sure.

how?

heh you're so strong; i envy you. you're tired but you keep going and i can barely manage to take a step in the right direction. you're gonna be all like "man nah im not perfect," but just let me say it.

just this once.

you may not consider yourself smart, but i swear you're hella wise, your advice is awesome my dude.

how ironic that i'm writing this while texting you.

i suppose there's a possibility that you'll never read this but at least it's out there for you to find.

crayola, i adore you (in a fully platonic way i swear- unless? ;))) LMAO im jk).

and you know i'd write a whole book, a whole series, full of me telling you everything that i'm too scared to say in reality, but i guess i'd better stop here, before you get bored.

oh oh if you read this text me something like

!_!

or

=~=

so yeah i know that you read it.

if you never see this though, well, thank you to whoever may have read this.

i know i say it a lot, but i love you.