Adaptation - Day Eight

Warning: This chapter will get quite heavy as Jian deals with the loss of his arm.

While Tian Long was waiting within the cabin for the soul cleansing lotus, Jian was adapting himself to the new way he had to fight after losing his arm.

Waking up yet again covered in perspiration as he feels some phantom pains from his now non-existent arm. Nothing, just like the void that was now where his arm used to be Jian feels nothing.

'What was the point?'. 'It's all over'. 'Why didn't I die along with my arm?'. 'What will I do now?'. 'I was useless before, what about now?'.

Countless thoughts went through Jian's head as he got out of the tent. All the thoughts had one thing in common: sadness and the feeling of that nothing matters anymore.

Jian questioned himself as the resolution he had built for himself crumbled faster than it could be built back up. Will he be able to pick himself back up? Who knows only time can tell if he is able to recover from the sadness and nothingness that now accompanies the loss of his arm.

What made the loss of his arm worse was the fact that now he couldn't effectively use the sword like he used to. It would take years at the maximum before he is able to weild his sword at the same efficiency again. Not only will he have to find his center of balnce again, he will also have to find another way to put more strength into his sword.

Making himself some breakfast to eat he sees his sword still buried in the ground from the night before. Tears threatening to spill out from hsi eyes he slowly walks over to his sword. Bending down grabbing towards his sword with his arm he brings it towards his chests and begins to mumble ti himself.

"What do I do? Do I just abandon the sword after making it this far? Please. Someone. Anyone. Just tell me. What do I do now?" Tears fall gently from his eyes to his cheeks. Slowly travelling down his face the tears make their way to his chest. Jian's sword begins to vibrate softly as if to comfort it's owner that everything will be fine but consumed by his own grief he cannot feel it. Tears continue to fall out of his eyes and fall down onto the sword which continues to shiver without notice by Jian.

The ocean of sadness contained within the grief threatened to consume the pillars that held Jian together.

Pulling himself out of the sadness he looked down at the tear covered sword and began to stroke it gently.

"At least I still have you with me" Jian commented as he didn't know what he would do if he had also lost his sword along with his arm.

Putting the sword back into the ground Jian then goes back to the breakfast which was now cooked, slightly crispy but not so much that he had to abandon the food altogether.

Finishing what he could as he didn't even want to eat all that much but he knew that he had to if he wanted to survive longer. At this point he couldn't care if he died but the thought of abandoning Sarah caused him to pull together whatever was left of his will and continue on.

Getting up he walked once again towards the sword that had accompanied him throughout his life. Picking it up he begins to swing it in the forms he used to do however after a few swings he begins to cry as he knew that although it looked good enough from an outsiders perspective however from another swordsmans point of view the stance was nothing but a joke. There was no balance to speak of nevermind the power of the strike which was at ten percent of its maximum. The accuracy was also all over the place.

'Dammit. Dammit. Why? Why? All I did was let down my guard. I didn't deserve this. How do I go on if I can't even swing a sword properly.'

Crying his heart out as he gripped his sword until his knuckles turned white. Glistening in the rising sun, Jian's tears cascaded down his face. Drop after drop of tears fell onto the ground letting the earth know of their owners grief.

Suddenly, as if the heavens had felt his grief dark clouds dotted the sky despite their being no sign of such clouds before hand. The pitter patter of rain mixed with the falling tears of Jian. Thunder crackled as if to signify the heavens anger towards the one that caused Jian his grief. Striking down lighting fell upon the inner area of the forbidden region. Of course Jian took no notice of any of this, he was too consumed in the questions whose answers threatened to topple his spirit and make it fall into the deepest depths of hell.

Whilst within this state Jian didn't even notice that he was subconciously correcting his stances however the stances no longer gave off the same feeling as before. The confidence and domination that used to permeate his moves is gone, replaced by a solemnity and sadness that would consume a soul within it.

Once again pulling himself out of the state he was in Jian did notice that he felt slightly better after crying for a while but nothing could fill the hole of emptiness that took place within his heart. He also took notice of the rain and dark clouds that had gathered.

'So what if my stances were corrected. I still only have one arm. I am still weaker than before. So, why should I bother to continue on?.'.

Not wanting to continue in the rain Jian decides to just rest within the tent for today. He could also hear the sound of thunder and lightning in the background but took no notice of it as he couldn't care less, in fact, he wished the lightning would strike him to rid himself of the pain and emptiness.

Laying down in the shelter after taking off his wet clothes Jian closed his eyes to rest.