Looking at the Male Lead from Afar - Part 3

After saying goodbye to mittens I left my house, making my way towards the bus stop.

Day after day, the bus ride would be the exact same. It always started off with students filling into the rows, one person per two seats. This would then devolve into an awkward, "can I sit next to you?" questioning session, ultimately, most of the seats would be filled up. Yet, after all this time, no one ever seemed to sit next to someone 'regularly'. No one would purposely sit next to someone if there were empty rows left, despite the fact that it was guaranteed that most of the seats would fill up.

It was like there was an unspoken rule, 'sit in an empty row unless every row was occupied.' I could imagine someone being looked down upon for doing so, especially if they weren't already good friends with the person. It was like forcibly pushing into someone else's space.

I looked out the window again, as I always did. The passing trees and buildings seemed to always amuse me. It wasn't necessarily that they were interesting or even novel. It was just that they seemed to clear my mind, allowing other more interesting thoughts to fill my brain. Every one in a while, my eyes would focus on the power line, my eyes would follow it, unconsciously, in a weird yet satisfying manner. It was a cloudy day today, the entire world seemed to be a darker shade of grey than usual.

Today, the Main Character, the female lead, decided to break the never-ending cycle. "Hey Sachi!" There were less people on the bus today, however, even though there were still plenty of empty rows with empty seats, Ichika decided to take a seat next to me. "How's it going?" She asked me non-chalantly, it was like the unspoken rule didn't apply to her, which it didn't. By her social status, whatever she did was acceptable. If anything, her action would single-handedly remove the unspoken rule.

"I'm alright." I replied to her. I am able to chat pretty normally when I make myself, but in situations where talking is not necessary, I give nothing more than a bare-bones response. However, the extrovert, social-expert, Ichika is able to even make the dry-est of comments into interesting conversation flows. "Is Mittens happy in his new home?" She continued, it was a skill, a skill to be able to communicate like this. "Yes, I would think he's pretty happy." Ichika was smiling and laughing, she was truly a butterfly, a butterfly I would have to outshine eventually. "That good!" Speaking to her was easy. She did all the heavy lifting, the conversing. All I needed to do was provide a response.

It was likely I would never outshine her socially, I am simply not capable of reproducing what she was capable of. However, the time will come when I beat her. I had done it many times in the past and I will do it many more times.

Sometimes, I look out the bus window and wonder. Am I a good person? I feel as if this was what caused me to come to the realisation I was a Side Character anyways. This simple conscious though of mine was what broke my mind out of its pre-programmed 'side character' mode.

Am I good person?

I feel as if my purpose for being, is to be a good person. The Side Rooms, they were a facility to create ideal humans, good side characters in the background of the story, but more than anything, I feel like they were a facility to create people who were truly good. I've seen some of my peers who have left the Side Rooms, they are good people. They help others, they always look for the solution which helps the most people, they always contribute to charity, not only financially but using their labour as well. I remember of a brief time in my life where I cared about these things as well. I think it was just after I left the Side Rooms, however ever since the thought, 'Am I a good person' appeared in my mind, I've never been the same.

Today, I can say, objectively, that I'm not a good person. I show little regard to others, unless it directly benefits me, I am willing to actively go out and harm others, to further my own ideals. I would say that most people would agree that I'm not a good person.

But that doesn't matter much to me anyways. In being not a good person, the idea of being a good person is insignificant, irrelevant to me. I can only not be a good person when I don't care about being a good person, which is the state I'm currently in. It's like a perfect loop, those who care about being good are good and those who don't aren't, thus everyone is satisfied with what they are.

I wouldn't necessarily say that I'm a bad person either. I'm not evil nor an antagonist, I just it in the bridge between good and bad, it's like this was what I was meant to be, a side character forever. I was not planning on being one for the rest of my life however, I would go on the offensive, from time to time, until I'm ready to go all out.

"Say, Ichika, what are your thoughts on Teru?" She was shocked by the sudden question, looking all flustered with pastel red cheeks. My usual aloof demeanour on top of the relatively abrupt question was enough to throw her off guard. "Teru...? Um, I guess he's a nice classmate." Interesting, I might be looking to much into it, but the adjective 'nice' seems to make me feel as if she might not be too attached to the Male Lead just yet. As long as they don't confess to each other for a while, I should be able to get in the way. "Ichika, do you want to get a boyfriend?" She was incredibly surprised by my line of question, however odd, it was effective. "U-um, I haven't really thought about it that much."

It was the answer I expected. I see she's a bland predictable Female Lead archetype. But seeing the response, I was able to identify which type of romance story this was. This romance was to be a very simple linear development, this was actually a disadvantage to me. This type of romance novel by its very nature incurs a very early relationship, as the narrative doesn't have much to offer besides it, it doesn't have much comedy or interesting plot hooks. It is just a bare-bones romance, and thus, I would be expecting the two of them to be getting together rather early on.

I should already be in Teru's mind however, my confession wasn't just a ploy to embarrass myself, it was purposely suppose to subvert the narrative expectations of the author, a side character wouldn't just confess their love to the main love interest without reason. I'm hoping that this would buy me some time so I could come up with another plan.

Eventually, even Ichika went silent beside me. It seemed my intrusive questions fried her brain a little. She was recovering by scrolling through some 'satisfying' videos on social media. I continued pondering what my next plan would be. I still had no idea how I was meant to change the course of the story, my first chance would be at the swimming carnival, which is in a few days, if nothing else, I was pretty confident in my sporting ability, it wouldn't be too hard to gain some attention there, after that I always had the mid-term exams.

After a little while, we arrived at school and everyone gradually poured out of the bus. It was the beginning of another school day.

Another day of being a side character in someone else's novel.

But I'll await the day I employ my biggest plan. It was a plan that I'd thought about ever since I was younger, even before I consciously realised I was a side character. The plan would be my biggest show yet. So until then, I'll slowly put the pieces into place, setting myself up for the best chance of success.

Then, I'll show the world who I truly am.