Ship Order

*BOOM*

Then they were gone—poofed right out of existence. That sonic boom's proximity was enough to cause Ritsuka's ears to start ringing, yet it didn't.

"Huh?"

Since when was there such a large hole in the tavern? As far as Ritsuka knew, in one instant, Drake manifested multiple cannons from portals and then in the next, there was a loud boom and the tavern looked as though a high-speed train had just run right through it.

The middle portion of the tavern was just gone. Only falling splinters remained as a massive cloud of dust and debris was kicked up by something.

___

One second earlier

The instant that Drake pulled out those cannons, I began to move. I surged forward, a human-sized mass that easily broke the sound barrier. Everything stilled into statues around me compared to how quickly I was moving.

With my right hand outstretched, I grabbed Drake's face and pushed her along with me through the tavern doors, down its interior, and out the other end.

It wasn't enough to kill her, as—

"You're a living human, the actual Francis Drake," I said as I released my hands from her head, "And you possess an abnormally large reservoir of magic energy. You have the Holy Grail, don't you?"

Drake was currently embedded in the ruins of the building behind the tavern. A rubble mixture comprising of wood and stone lavished her body as blood seeped down it like rivers down a mountain.

Turning a bit to look behind me, I sent out a ray of plasma down range into the devastation— where I had come from. That beam of superheated gas cut into the space between David and Mash, before going out into the ocean itself, creating a huge explosion of steam off in the distance beyond the bay.

"Don't even think about it!"

Even though David didn't move to attack or do much of anything beyond watching Drake get pulverized, it was still good to give him a warning as a preventive measure.

"Ow…" Drake weakly moaned out, "Damn, you're pretty strong huh?"

Her wounds were closing. That must be a side effect of the Holy Grail. Francis Drake pulled herself out of the ruin. An avalanche of rubble slid off her body as she stood up.

"Alright, alright, I lost," Drake said. Reaching her huge bosom, she pulled out a Holy Grail.

It was almost beautiful with its holy radiance. The Cup of Heaven hovered there in front of Drake, unbound by the restraints of gravity. It was a golden chalice, yet something felt off about it.

It felt different from the Grail I found in the previous Singularity. It felt similar to Longinus' spear with its feeling of divinity—the aura of sublime holiness.

"—!"

I felt… rage—unceasing, unrelenting, unstoppable rage from somewhere in the jungle. The rage was rolling in droves akin to waves on a beach. It's on this island. Another Servant? Yeah, it's another Servant. Berserker class most definitely.

In the next second, I saw an axe moving my way. A rotating axe that sprung mid-air. It was something that could cut through a bunker door as if it was made from jelly.

It closed in rapidly, and just as when it was about to cut into Drake—

*Bam*

I unceremoniously slapped it away as though it were a paper airplane.

The axe acted like a tennis ball when it was hit off course, arcing through the air before landing in the ocean and embedding itself into the sandy floor.

"Him again…" Drake muttered as she wiped away bits of blood around the edge of her mouth. "Eric Bloodaxe."

"KILL!" A distant voice screamed out, loud enough that I think Ritsuka, with his human ears, would have no issue picking it up.

Eric Bloodaxe was a large fella with huge, bulging muscles. He wore nothing but a loincloth, armored boots, and wristguards. He had a pair of horns on his head.

"KILLLLLLLLL!"

He launched himself, covering the massive distance between where he threw the axe and where Drake and I were in less than a second.

Compared to me, he's very slow. Thus, I was able to easily track and predict his trajectory.

I sent out a large beam of plasma as thick as a ruler towards where he'll be milliseconds in the future. That plasma was hot enough to be felt all over the port with settling debris suddenly kicked up once again thanks to the infusion of thermal heat. The wind bellowed and whipped across this port.

The ray of superheated gas sliced through the air, too bright for the naked human eye as it was akin to staring at the sun.

"He disappeared?"

Right before the plasma could hit that Berserker Servant, he disappeared, vanished in a storm of gravitational waves undetectable to anyone here save for me. They didn't have the senses required to feel the way those disturbances in spacetime ripple outwards from where the Servant disappeared.

"That was… teleportation," I mumbled to myself.

Stuff like teleportation, going relativistic speeds, or just being faster than light leaves out remnants of gravitational radiation— especially the latter, as the mass paradoxically exists and doesn't exist in conventional spacetime.

I could feel another distant ripple of gravitational waves far away beyond the sea horizon. With only one frame of reference, I could only triangulate its directions much less the exact location.

An annoyed look appeared on my face. I then grabbed the hovering Grail.

"Kukulkan!" Ritsuka ran through the ruined tavern, "Are you alright?!"

"Ritsuka, when am I ever not fine after a fight?" I halfheartedly said while smiling, my hands spread out in a welcoming fashion.

"Didn't Longinus give you some trouble?" Archer commented, causing my smile to be strained.

I quickly regained my metaphorical footing, and fired back, "This coming from the same guy who stayed in the backlines and fired arrows?"

He merely smirked, "Someone had to keep my Master safe."

"And Mash isn't enough?"

"She's without peer in the areas of defense. But what if someone tries shooting at her from a kilometer away? Or from angles the shield cannot block?"

He's… he's got a point about that. But I highly doubt there are any soldiers summoned by the Grail left after my initial assault on Constantinople's walls. That sweeping beam of plasma killed pretty much everyone even remotely close to those triple-layered walls.

I was about to reply how a city in the middle of a sack could possibly have anything that could threaten Ritsuka enough that Mash couldn't handle it, only for Iskander to bud in.

"I have heard from David that these pirates know how to get drunk, and I desire to taste their drinks. Let us not waste time with these technicalities and enjoy the spoils of our victory! Captain Drake, surely you don't mind?"

The woman gave a stink eye at me, "The tavern's destroyed. All the best drinks are gone. The rest are just utter slop that I'd rather drink seawater."

"Oh, that's a shame."

For once, Iskander's jovial mood appears to be dampened.

The woman grabbed several ornate flintlock pistols on the ground and sheathed them into the belt around her waist. "Though, if you're willing to give back me Grail I can have the tavern up in no time."

How does that— Ah wait, I turned to look at the Grail in my possession, only to realize an important detail.

"Wait a second, why isn't the Singularity ending?"

"..."

A silence loomed over everyone who came from Chaldea. This was an unprecedented anomaly, as from what we all know, the moment the Holy Grail is acquired the Singularity should be dissolving.

I placed a finger over the device embedded in my ears, "Da Vinci, Director Olga, why isn't this Singularity ending?"

Through the earpiece, I heard Olga's voice, "We've detected no change in the Singularity. It should be correcting itself yet it's not…"

"That may be a Holy Grail, but it is not the Grail thou seekest." David then spoke up.

"What do you mean?" Ritsuka immediately asked as he stepped forward, a display of his eagerness.

"There are two Grails." David explained, "The one that thou holdest in thy hands is the true one, the very same that held the blood of my descendant—the Messiah."

The real Grail?

Hearing David's words made me look down at the cup I held. No wonder it felt different. I wonder if any of the other summoned Servants present knew. Surely not, since they would've said something about this Grail feeling different from the one we have plugged in at Chaldea.

Then the difference must be minute enough that only my senses can detect it.

"I am a Masterless Servant summoned by the Grail. If I am still here, it must mean that the Grail thou seekest lies somewhere in the vastness of this ocean." David said.

Searching the vastness of this ocean…

I was reminded of my traversing the depth of Jupiter's metallic hydrogen core. That search for pieces of SCP-2399 within the opaque inner sea of Jupiter, where the only way I could determine where those pieces are were by feeling for the disturbances of the gas giant's magnetic field.

I shivered. The possibility of requiring me to search the entirety of the Caribbean made me feel extreme reluctance. It would be another Sisyphean task.

Ritsuka then looked at Drake, "Captain Drake, would you mind lending us a hand? Your ship and crew would be immensely useful—"

"You come here. You destroy me tavern. And now you're asking me for help?"

The teen then looked extremely awkward. "Well you did—"

"Witness the transcendence of my arcane prowess!" Zvezdnyy suddenly yelled out.

"Zvezdnyy!"

Despite my calling of her name, she continued, "By the binding oaths of the Drevneye Korolevstvo and the whispered secrets of the eternal void, I call upon the celestial forges and the primordial forces of creation."

Drake stared at Zvezdnyy. From her perspective, it simply looked like a little girl just started chanting.

Zvezdnyy continued, placing a hand in front of her mouth with three fingers— her thumb, ring, and pinkie— raised, "From the fragments of desolation, I summon forth the essence of restoration! Reignite the lost Plamya, mend the shattered Relikviya, and weave the tapestry of Obnovleniye! By my command, reverse all destruction!"

In an instant, the ruin that used to be the tavern started to reverse. Splinters and pieces of stone rose from where they fell, flying through the air and tracing their fall back to where they were before I ran Drake through it.

Vast debris clouds are made visible once more, turning increasingly opaque as they condense into solid objects. The spilled liquid rises from the earth, returning to the container that once held it.

In the span of five seconds, the tavern existed once more.

Drake's mouth hung wide as Zvezdnyy looked especially pleased with herself.

"This is but a mere fragment of my power. Join me as my Admiral, and I shall grant you the experience of its full magnitude!" Zvezdnyy announced.

"Zvezdnyy."

"Eeep! My Polkovodets, I know that it wasn't in self-defense. I... I just wanted to help! There was no one inside, and everything lay in ruins! I thought I could recruit more people!" Zvezdnyy rapidly fired off excuses.

The pirate then entered the tavern and picked out a bottle on the counter. There, she went full bottoms up and didn't stop until the bottle was empty.

I repeated her name, "Zvezdnyy."

"Ahhh, that's some good rum!" Drake proclaimed loudly and interrupted the grilling I was giving Zvezdnyy. The pirate captain then turned around and faced the door from where she entered, yelling, "The quest for that other Grail. That sounds fun."

Drake then walked over to the tavern's doorway, standing by the precipice of what can be considered 'outdoors'.

"You all wanted me to help you find that Grail, yeah? Tell you what, girl. Given how you fixed me a tavern, I'll let you guys join me."

"Eh? Shouldn't it be the other way around?" Zvezdnyy asked.

"It's my ship, so you all will be joining as the newest members of my crew."

"But... but I am the witch destined to save all of mankind! I cannot simply join another's group! It is always others who rally and fight under my banner…"

Iskander let out a hearty chuckle, "Ho ho ho! It's been a while since I've last sailed, I guess I could use some more lessons from someone who circumnavigated the world."

"We're not joining." I declared, vetoing the general consensus. Everyone looked at me in varying degrees of shock.

Though it may be a Sisyphean task, I'd much rather endure that than let Zvezdnyy be exposed to the brutality of the pirate life.

"What? Why?!" Zvezdnyy cried out as she teleported right next to me. "I want to find buried treasures!"

It seems as if Zvezdnyy has a rather childish, and unrealistic view of what pirates do. She must've seen those kid shows about pirates finding treasures on islands. 'X marks the spot' and all.

"Shouldn't that be Ritsuka's decision?" Iskander challenged.

I reaffirmed my position, "We are not joining a den of scum and villainy. Zvezdnyy is not joining a den of scum and criminals."

In truth, pirates were horrible people. They were opportunists, brutal to the extreme to cultivate fear of their names and flags as it's much safer if their prey willingly hand over their booty than it is to fight for it.

"Oi! That's me crew you're talking about!" Drake stepped right up to me with an intensely displeased look on her face. She had a gun out and aimed it up my chest at the bottom of my jaw.

She knows what I can do, yet she still chooses to threaten me. Truly, it's no wonder she's one of the first people to circumnavigate the globe; you'd need nerves strong enough to stand up to a Goddess to explore the unknown.

I narrowed my eyes and let a grimace spread across my face.

"Your ship is unsanitary as f—" I cut myself off before I could utter that curse word, "Urine must be all over the ship's lower deck. Your food is tasteless hardtack and full of cockroaches. No way are we risking getting potential illness."

Not to mention the sounds of pirates masturbating at night. Though that drive is easily suppressed for me, I doubt it's the same for these criminals.

"But... but I yearn to sail the seas and uncover treasures alongside the pirates! To search the seven seas for the proper Holy Grail."

My head turned to face the girl, uncaring that there was a gun barrel still pointing at my head. Why is she being so stubborn?

"Zvezdnyy. We can do that on our own. We have a raft, no? I'll push us—"

"But I crave the thrill of sailing on a pirate ship! I want to shout 'Arrr! Yer landlubbers' as I swing from ship to ship with my cutlass, peering through a looking glass with one eye, and proclaiming 'Land ho!' to my crew!"

I shook my head, "Zvezdnyy, you can easily do that in the raft—"

"No! I want to sail a pirate ship! I want to sail a pirate ship!! I want to sail a pirate ship!!!"

Zvezdnyy dropped her dramatic way of speaking.

Oh my god, why is she having such a tantrum? She's never had a tantrum before so why pirates specifically?

"Zvezdnyy, why are you being so difficult?"

"I could easily summon a pirate ship and crew but it wouldn't be authentic! I want the real experience."

A vindictive part of me was tempted to acquiesce to her demands. To show her the truth of things, of just how brutal the pirate life is, and why I tried so hard to hide it from her.

However, that vindictive voice was snuffed out like a lit candle in the middle of a storm. I cannot call myself her Guardian if I just allowed Zvezdnyy to make such devastating mistakes. She's not ready for those kinds of responsibilities yet.

"I have a solution!" Ritsuka budded in before this conversation could get any more heated. "How about this; Iskander has a Reality Marble full of those who followed him in life. He can summon those soldiers to serve as members of Zvezdnyy's crew. All we need is a ship, which Zvezdnyy can easily provide."

Zvezdnyy's eyes focused on Ritsuka like a pair of binoculars. She was internally debating the merits of Ritsuka's offer.

Striking while the iron was still hot, Ritsuka continued, "It would certainly be authentic no? Pirate ships are known to be made after a mutiny with a crew that comes from all walks of life."

Slowly, Zvezdnyy accepted his proposal and nodded. Her lips curled into an almost feral smile.

"Yes… yes, that could work!" She then turned to me, and with a begging look in her eyes asked, "Can I please conjure up a ship for my pirate crew?"

I returned that begging look with an unamused stare. From the corner of my eyes, I spotted Ritsuka pleading as well.

"It could help Zvezdnyy learn independence," He suggested.

"Yeah yeah! It can help me learn independence!"

I squinted my eyes shut and thumbed the bridge of my nose. How did things spiral so much out of control?

Was this how my parents felt when I bugged them on and on if I could play games on their phones while they were watching TV? That constant grinding down of their walls until they eventually relented and handed me their phones.

I thought of it in another way: Giving Zvezdnyy a ship captain position could teach her leadership qualities. In my own grade school experience, the teachers always talked about 'how to be a good leader' and such.

"Fine. But you're not recruiting anyone that's outside of Chaldea."

"Yay!"

I was still hesitant, but seeing Zvezdnyy energetically jumping into the air made me feel like I had made the right choice.

Now more than ever I realized the difference between having academic knowledge and practical experience when it comes to raising a child.

Landing, the girl turned to face the port.

Raising a hand, the girl merely looked intensely at this spot in the sky across the natural harbor. With the same intensity one may find in a soldier about to press the red button that would signal the start of WWIII, Zvezdnyy raised her right hand—slow and steady, akin to a craftsman double-checking his work.

"I wish a ship appeared in front of me."

In an instant, a ship simply just appeared within the small bay. It was much larger than the other ships present, dwarfing them like how Jupiter dwarfs Earth.

The ship itself is longer than a city block. Its height not counting the mast stands parallel to a four-story tall apartment building. Across its sides were littered with dozens upon dozens of gun ports laid out across four decks.

All in all, if this ship was in the possession of another nation, surely it would be considered the flagship—the pride of a navy.

"The Santisima Trinidad…" Iskander muttered, "The Holy Trinity."

I followed where he was looking and saw the Spanish flag strung near the back of the ship.

"The what?" Ritsuka asked.

"It is the pride of the Spanish navy. The largest, most heavily armed ship in the Age of Sail. The final culmination of every sailing ship ever made. She represented when Spain was at the apex of her colonial power, and her sinking told everyone of Spain's decline," Iskander looked as if he had seen the love of his life.

"How do you know all this?"

I was wondering that as well.

"During my time, sailing and rowing was the only method of moving across water. When I saw how big the oceans were, I knew I needed a mighty fleet if I wanted to conquer the world. So I looked up legendary ships and the Santisima Trinidad stood out against all others. HMS Victory was a close second, but it doesn't compare to the history that the Santisima Trinidad held."

"Spain huh?" Drake, the English privateer who defeated the Spanish navy during her apex, said as she looked at the massive ship that surpassed the other ships in the bay.

"Uh, I simply wished for a ship and that appeared."

"Girl, you have summoned the mightiest ship in the history of sailing! Come forth, my men! This ship is worthy of being my new empire's flagship!"

Dozens of ghostly figures manifested behind Iskander. Those ghostly, barely definable figures were like mirages that then solidified into Heroic Spirits. All of them were those who followed him in life.

"Hey hey! That's my ship! My ship, my rules!" Zvezdnyy teleported in front of Iskander and his men, blocking their way to the giant ship off in the bay.

Iskander had a thoughtful look on his face as he probably pondered having Zvezdnyy as a captain. There, he chuckled, "Alright, captain. Can I be your First Mate?"

"Hmm, that role is reserved for my Polkovodets. However, you can serve as my Quartermaster."

"Do you even know what Quartermasters do?" I blurted out without thinking since I didn't know what that job meant until fifth grade.

The girl had a bright smile as she explained, "The role of the Quartermaster is a straightforward one! They are the keeper of quarters, ensuring the crew's lounging is ready."

That is a portion of what quartermasters do.

As my stare continued, the smile on Zvezdnyy's face died a whimpering, slow death as it slowly dawned on the girl quartermasters may do something very different from what she was imagining.

"Quartermasters are responsible for running the operations of a ship, such as making sure there are enough food, water, and more for the voyage. They also make sure the crew are well-compensated for their troubles."

"Well, I was close enough, my Polkovodets. Now come, as my Polkovodets you shall serve as my First Mate. We shall scour this sea for treasures!"

Why do I have a terrible feeling that this 'treasure-hunting trip' is going to end in disaster?

______

AN: Despite what the Pirates of the Caribbeans or FGO would want you to believe, pirates are not jolly. They are terrifying bandits on the high seas who rely on fear to 'service their customers' and get booty. They live in terrible conditions in hopes of better pay compared to what the Royal Navy would give you.

Now Zvezdnyy has a more sanitized version of what pirates do. The main inspiration comes from that one Tom and Jerry movie about pirates. Tom and Jerry: Shiver Me Whiskers.

Honestly, this is partially a reason to get me to rewatch those movies I haven't touched in what? Over a decade? And wow is it a trip down memory lane. But yeah, Zvezdnyy is looking for a pirate adventure searching for lost treasures.

I was very tempted to go for a horror angle, where people are forced into their roles without control over their bodies, screaming internally even as their faces are smiling ala Scarlet Witch TV Show but then I realized Kuku would definitely put a stop to that ASAP.

Your comments give me motivation. I need motivation to pump out chapters faster.