International Stars/ Chapter 11
We spoke on the phone immediately she landed and I could feel her excitement about her new environment and how pleased she was about getting there but I was lonely; lonely at heart, longing for her gaze, the way she spoke and how she loves.
She seemed happy and the best I could do for her was to support her, her new found form of joy.
But gladly I didn't let the loneliness get to me, with her help I was able to get back in place, make more music and luckily the songs I wrote so far for my group got recognized internationally.
Is was a big deal, a stepping stone for our group and for my teammates.
A few months passed by and we were finally able to tour America again after being nominated for the best Album of the year.
My teammates were so excited by that fact, the possibility and ever go this far was not on our list by the way we started out, to be recognized by our fans all over the world was something extraordinary for us and this was made possible my the songs I wrote because of her, because of the light she brought back into my life.
I was happy to see Dora again with this opportunity given, so very happy!
Finally standing in the place that felt so distant; the place I thought I'd never be back to but here I was, standing where it all began, where I meant my Muse.
We tour parts of the states with fans screaming out our names everywhere we went; it felt pretty nice, quite euphoric, receiving such admiration by this much fandom.... smile
The more surprising experience was when we were called out to receive the award for the best album of the year.
I thought to myself, the effort all spent on this album on they days I couldn't sleep was finally worth it.
I never saw or catch up with Dora because she couldn't make it back into the states because she hard things to sought out.
She really did seem happy, too happy without me, who's that guy standing behind her?
"Dora" I called out to her as she chatted with Dae-Hyun on the video cam "Who's that behind you?"
She turned towards him as she smiled mischievously "This is my own mate from London, we grow up together; bumped into each other here in Rome, had to definitely reconnect" she said as she taped him lightly on his waist as he walked around the room with a smile on his face.
I know his pretending not to notice or care but his presence is bugging me
"Ohh, I see" I said hesitantly, she was shocked by my response and started staring at me weirdly, she does that when she tries to study me.
She looked behind her a couple of times and then back at me with an expression I'm not too familiar with.....why did she smirk like that?!
"What are you thinking?" she said as she looked at me with her wondering eyes; I definitely wasn't thinking, what was she think.....tried to defend myself with a head shake that came out as nervous one
My teammates where staring at me with a smirk on their face, laughing lightly at my reactions.
"I hope it's not anything weird, cause if it is. Wait you're not jealous now, are u?!" she said as they all started at me harder.
"Definitely not!" I said in a high pitched tone.
Dae-Hyun and the others laughed at me and instantly realized why, can't quite hid what I was feeling...she was laughing to, beautiful as always.
"Wait a minute...." she said as she continue laughing at me, I guess it was funny to her "Stop thinking about it, you have know idea what you've done, do u?..... apparently you've set the bar high, so high for any other future interest, cause why? they need to have flawless skin like yours and a shy personality that is to die for" she told me with a smile, a very warm one.
I was so immersed in the way she spoke and how comforting her eyes were that I didn't not my teammates staring at me and how comfortable I was starting at her like a love struck puppy.
When I finally stopped daydreaming about her I was able to her the things she said "And this dude here has a boyfriend; definitely not hitting my way anytime soon, his man is jealous as f***, maybe if we met last year yea but now nah" she concluded as Elena walked in, as always super excited to share what ever juicy gossip she had.
She looked lively as always "Hey!, hey guys, congrats on winning the award, you guys are International Stars now, congrats again" she said to us so fast as my teammates responded to her in unison 'Thank you'
She desperately seeks for Dora's attention, whispering something into her ears with excitement on her face.
"I have to go, I will call you later, okay. Bye guys and congratulations is in order, you all deserve it" she told the group, waving at them as she stood from her seat but she wasn't living yet.
She said something to Elena as Elena existed the room with a smirk on her face.
"Bye!" Elena said to me as she left the room.
Suddenly we where staring into each other's eyes as she spoke "I really miss you, and...." what does that mean 'And' she said living the sentence incomplete as she throws kisses to me in the air.
I wanted to stop her from going but she left me there with my heart racing for more, to hear her thoughts, and what?
I miss her so much that every thought of her took me down to memory lane, how our journey first started, how hard it was for me to meet her again, and how we reconnected for us to get drifted apart again due to our goals and pursuit.....sigh.
We finally got back to Korea and it felt like the whole country was waiting for us, for our return; this feeling was more exciting than what I felt in America, in a different way than I thought possible, maybe the feeling of familiarity, of home.
The industry got busier the moment we got back, with something appointment, interviews and products to advertise.
We got busier, busier with is contracts we signed and the most challenging was being ambassadors ambassadors for Louis Vuitton Face of Korea, that was our biggest modeling gig and with that kind of busy schedule it made it impossible for us to communicate as we promised, whatever that news was she got from Elena on that day, it made her occupied to.
I'd call her when I had the chance but she never picked up, I guess....it was bond to happen, the fact I haven't spoken to her in a month and haven't physically seen her for Seven made it seem like our relationship was coming to an end, or maybe that's how insecure I felt, she did good without me in her life before.
We had a music video shot around the corner and we needed to perfect our dance moves to make it a unique one and for our fans to love it to.
We had to practice our new dance steps till we perfected it but my mind kept wondering places I didn't need it to be, every step for a group dance must be coordinated and in sync with each other, but I wasn't getting it not at all, so I had to practice in my private time to get the steps right, don't wanna be the downfall to my teammates.
*Ring* *Ring*
Who is it at this time of the night, it's 2am, better not be Jemmy complaining about Dae-Hyun using his Skincare over the phone, can't they just disturb someone else, like Kai, his the oldest one among us-
*Hello, Jemmy can you please..."
[Dora] *Hello!*
*Dora?!*
[Dora] *Hey! just wanted to check up on you....*
*silence*
[Dora] *I'm sorry I haven't connected you for weeks now or picked up your calls too, it's just...I want to see you so badly, but I'm trying to stay focused but I can't help it....help feeling this way*
*silence*
[Dora] *I don't mind if you are tired of waiting for.....*
*I Miss You*
[Dora] *inhales..... silence*
*I miss you so much that it's driving me crazy.....inhales....I wanna break all the rules and be there by you side but I know it's not what you would want...am waiting patiently for you to come back to me*
A voice in the background interrupted our conversation
[Dora] *silent.....I have to go but I will call you again, soon. I miss you more than you think, I miss you a lot.....Bye*
*Bye*
My heart felt full at her last words, my heart racing at the words she uttered and how her voice echoed in my ears 'I love you more than you think' those words felt nice to hear but I couldn't be sad.
How long do I have to wait, how long before my heart is fully complete?