Chapter 12: It's ok to CRY

Third Person's POV

"Hey! Don't change the topic. I almost forgot where we were," Bryan chided playfully, trying to steer the conversation back on track.

"Eh!? No!" Astra protested, her gaze unwavering as she met Bryan's eyes.

"Come on!" Bryan insisted, adopting a cute expression, hoping to coax her into opening up.

'Did he just act like a kid in front of me?' Astra wondered, momentarily taken aback by Bryan's unexpected behavior.

"What do you want me to say?" Astra composed herself, taking a sip of her juice and averting her eyes to avoid the awkwardness.

"That's not good manners. When someone shares something with you, you should also share your story. Didn't your parents teach you that?" Bryan's remark caught Astra off guard, leaving her at a loss for words.

As Astra grappled with Bryan's unexpected comment, his demeanor suddenly shifted, his voice filled with genuine concern. "Hey? Are you okay? Why are you crying?" he asked, reaching out to touch her cheek without her consent, causing her to startle and meet his gaze.

Perplexed by Bryan's actions, Astra searched his eyes, sensing his sincere worry as he gently rubbed her left cheek.

'Huh? But why?' Astra questioned internally, confused by her own emotional reaction.

"Did I say something wrong?" Bryan's concern deepened as he sought clarification.

"Sorry?" Astra responded, realizing only then that tears were streaming down her left cheek without her awareness. It took her a moment to process, and she instinctively recoiled from Bryan's touch, her hand moving to her cheek.

Embarrassed by her unexpected display of emotion, Astra felt a pang of shame for crying in front of Bryan. She prided herself on maintaining a facade of strength in front of others, but the mere mention of the word 'parents' was enough to stir deep-seated emotions within her.

"Sorry!" Astra stammered, hastily rising to her feet and wiping away her tears. As Bryan made a move to touch her again, he caught the gravity of their situation and withdrew his hands swiftly.

Without gathering her belongings, Astra bolted toward the storage room, slamming the door shut behind her. She sank to the floor, resting her hands on her knees, and bowed her head as tears streamed down her cheeks.

'My heart was filled with tears as I cried in silence. I'm scared! I'm scared that I would disappoint others because I'm weak. I didn't choose to be like this. I don't even want to be like this, but what would I do if it's just me? Just me who acts strong and cool in front of others but fragile on the inside. I'm not expensive for others to protect, but I also deserve to be loved, right? I just want to be loved... Love without worrying they would someday be disappointed in me.'

'I-I just want to live my life simply, with my family who will protect me when I'm scared and with my friends who will keep me accompanied when I'm feeling down.'

The overwhelming emotions threatened to consume her, and she longed to release them, to scream out her pain. But doubt crept in—did she even deserve to feel this way? Who was she to be depressed and downtrodden? She remembered she didn't have the luxury of relying on others; she had only herself.

"Tss. Who am I fooling? I'm just hurting myself waiting for nothing," she concluded bitterly.

Exhaustion weighed heavily upon Astra. She sat in silence, tears streaming down her face for what felt like an eternity. The weight of her emotions left her physically and mentally drained, her eyelids growing heavy with fatigue. Despite the overwhelming weariness, she knew she needed to gather herself. Astra couldn't pinpoint exactly how long she had been sitting there, but she was acutely aware that indulging in such emotions while on the job was not the right course of action. 'I shouldn't be doing this while I'm working,' she chastised herself silently.

Astra's sudden dash towards the storage room caught Bryan off guard. He watched her enter with a sense of confusion, unsure of how to react to her unexpected response. Memories of his grandmother's words echoed in his mind—did he inadvertently cause her pain?

Feeling a pang of guilt and worry, he instinctively followed her, driven by a desire to comfort her despite his own confusion. As he approached the door, he hesitated upon hearing faint sobs emanating from within. The realization that Astra was crying in solitude tugged at his heartstrings, leaving him feeling powerless to ease her pain.

Wrestling with his desire to offer solace and the fear of intruding, Bryan ultimately decided to give her space. With a frustrated sigh, he retreated from the door, his mind filled with a mix of concern and regret. Exiting the store, he encountered an old man attempting to enter, briefly diverting his attention from the turmoil within.

"Good evening, sir. Sorry, but are you perhaps going inside?" Bryan inquired politely.

"Yes, I am. Is there something wrong?" the old man responded.

Bryan hesitated, knowing he couldn't let the man enter while Astra was in distress.

"I'm afraid you can't enter the store, Sir. Their system is down. It will be a few hours before it returns," Bryan fabricated.

"Is that so? Thank you for letting me know," the old man accepted the explanation gracefully.

"You can check the next store if you want to," Bryan suggested, gesturing toward the nearby shop and offering to guide him there.

After ensuring the old man found the alternative store, Bryan returned to his post outside Astra's shop. Peering through the window, he observed her emerging from the storage room, her appearance indicating she had been crying.

"She only cries for 30 seconds," Bryan reflected silently, torn between wanting to comfort her and respecting her space.

As Astra scanned the store, Bryan instinctively ducked out of sight, grateful for the large advertising poster obscuring his view. When he dared to glance up again, he saw Astra busy restocking the cigarette shelves.

Seeing Astra okay brought Bryan a sense of relief, easing his concerns. With a quiet sense of contentment, he felt reassured enough to leave her to her tasks. Taking advantage of her engrossment in work, he slipped away silently.

~ To be Continued ~