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HP X LOTM : Please Call Me Mr. Error.

"When did I sign away my wealth to you!?" Lockhart asked, shocked. "That's the neat part about it, you don't know.", Loki said with a smile. "Hmm...I can feel it. I can feel the power coursing through my veins." Voldemort said as he felt his face after his rebirth. "Huh? Where's my nose!!!?" "Obviously, I have it! Do you want it? If you want it you need to praise Dumbledore!!" Loki said with an innocent smile. "Lord Voldemort does not need to listen to yo- Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of all time!!" Voldemort said with fanatic eyes, creating confusion amongst the death eaters. 'What!? Why am I saying this!? What did he do to me!?' "Who are you!??" Dumbledore asked calmly. "Me? Have I not introduced myself yet? Please call me Mr. Error." Loki said with a smile while adjusting the monocle over his right eye. Read more about Loki's adventures as he walks through his years at Hogwarts meeting and scamming an array of famous personalities that have become infamed in the world of Harry Potter. ********************************************************** Read 20 chapters ahead on my p@treon for $3 (USD) by going to the link, pa treon.com/hooin_kyoma_au . Remember to remove the space between 'a' and 't'.

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212 Chs

Wouldn't You?

"I know what you did!" The gruff voice repeated, causing Loki to stare around in confusion before realising the voice was coming from the room next door.

'What is going on?'

'Who's using these soap opera dialogues?'

Loki carefully walked toward the edge of his room and placed his ear on the wall to hear better.

'It's not eavesdropping if they're being loud about it and I'm just resting my ear on the wall to scratch it.'

Loki nodded sagely and continued to pay attention to the conversation that was being carried out.

"What do you think I did? Banish the banshee by smiling at it with my smile that has won the Witch's Weekly Most Charming Smile award five times!?" A different voice, one that seemed insufferably sticky and slick, asked in a self-praising tone.

"Cut the crap, Lockhart! I know what you did! I know how you got all the accolades that you did."

'Lockhart? The author of those textbooks?'

"And pray tell, how did I do it?"

"Hmpf. You thought no one would notice it but I did! I saw you bring your last victim in and once you learnt of his achievements and satisfied your curiosity you wiped away his memory. I saw it!"

"How many people have you told?" The sickly sweet voice asked, probably with a smile if Loki had to guess.

"I told everyone I could find! But they wouldn't believe me! They just made fun of me and didn't even entertain it! They said you'd have been caught by now if you did it and didn't believe me!"

"I see."

"Now that you're at the end of my wand, I wonder how you feel? Do you feel Happy?"

"I couldn't have felt better.", Lockhart said as Loki heard the creaking of the floor, indicating Lockhart was walking.

"Stay back!" The voice said a little panicked.

"Don't worry about it. I'm completely unarmed aren't I? Haven't you already taken my wand? I'm harmless."

Loki suddenly felt something wrong, he felt himself calm down and begin to believe Lockhart's words, but then he immediately pinched himself and stared wide-eyed at the wall that separated himself and Lockhart.

'He's either a Beyonder or using a Beyonder Item to make others believe him!'

Not even a second later Loki heard a calm voice, "Obliviate."

An ethereal green glow slipped into Loki's room from the cracks in the wall as he immediately stepped back and began to panic.

The floor creaked under his weight and Loki felt his breathing hitch.

"Who's there!?" Lockhart immediately asked.

A few seconds later, Loki immediately heard the steps move closer to the wall and felt a searching gaze land upon him.

But thanking the darkness of his room, Loki felt Lockhart sweep by and not find him.

Almost immediately, Loki felt Lockhart begin to move towards his door and step out of his room to come to Loki's.

Loki still worried that he might get caught and have his memories wiped, did the next best thing he could.

He matched Lockhart's steps and moved towards the window from where he jumped out and landed on the street beside the leaky cauldron.

Making sure to stick close to the wall so that Lockhart couldn't see him, Loki walked ahead and blended into the crowd, using all his knowledge as a thief to keep attention away from himself.

'He shouldn't have the time to follow me since he still has to take care of the guy who had come up to confront him.' Loki reasoned.

Once Loki felt he was out of danger, he turned through the streets and made his way out of Leaky Cauldron.

Holding his wand hand above his head, Loki expended a little bit of spirituality to call the Knight Bus and once on it, he immediately picked a bed to lie down in as he gave Stan Stunpike an address close to 12 Grimmauld Place.

Not even the roller coaster experience of the bus diverted Loki's thoughts as he continued to brood upon the events that had just taken place.

Finally reaching home half 'n hour later, Loki collapsed onto his bed and wondered about the things that had happened in a relaxed manner.

'So the teacher this time is a fraud?'

'Do I report him?'

Loki thought about the question for a while, wondering if he would tell the Auror department or the Hogwarts faculty and if they would even believe him.

Loki doubted the Auror Department would believe him, but he felt like the Hogwarts staff would, especially Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall whom he was quite close with.

'Is this why the divination recommended I go to Diagon Alley?'

'To show me that Lockhart was a fraud?'

'But what do I have to do?'

Thinking about informing Professor Snape about what he'd heard and seen, Loki pulled out a parchment and used a ballpoint pen to write him a letter.

But just as his pen touched the parchment a through struck Loki and he slapped his forehead.

'I'm an idiot!'

'When life gives you lemons you must make lemonade!'

'When life has given me the opportunity to learn under such a perfect teacher why don't I take full advantage of it!!?'

'Why don't I learn how to become the perfect swindler from the man who makes his livelihood out of swindling people!?'

'Damn I almost ruined the best opportunity that I had for myself!!'

'And what better way to pay back your teacher than swindling him better than he can swindle you!?'

Loki thought for a while and formed a maxim, 'To swindle someone I need to end up with the most profit in the end. And it would be even better if people paid you to swindle them!'

Loki smiled as the beginnings of a plan began to form in his head.

'I'll need a magical printer for this.'

'Where do I find one though?' Loki thought and then his eyes fell on the parchment he was writing on.

'Oh! I could just ask Professor Snape! I'm sure he's in touch with enough alumni from Hogwarts that he might know someone who would be happy to part with a magical printer for the right price!'

'I could just ask him directly, but how do I swindle him into making this decision?'

After some thought, Loki began to write the letter.

['Greetings Professor Snape,

I hope this letter finds you while your cauldrons are bubbling with the mysteries of the world and the flame used to heat it dances as you wish.

I am writing this letter because I noticed something missing from the experience of students at Hogwarts. Being in detention for almost a year has been eye-opening for me.

It has allowed me to develop closer relationships with several professors, beyond what is possible in a normal class setting and has motivated me to explore magic for more than what is taught in class.

And so I feel it to be rather bland that other students don't form such a close bond with their professors to explore magic with them unless they're the cream of the crop and are part of the respective clubs.

For example, the Weasley twins, although they don't have perfect grades, explore the art of potion-making in their own way by indulging in pranks. As such shouldn't they consult you about the art of potion making?

Now I understand that to maintain your reputation and not encourage other students to follow the path of pranking like the Weasley twins you cannot in good conscience answer their questions in the field of potion making, but what if you could do it in an indirect manner?

What if there was a forum for all students in the school to be able to vote for silly questions they could ask their professors out of class under the guise of anonymity?

Of course, this isn't a solution to some questions about pranks slipping in, after all, they're all kids and would love to have some fun, but wouldn't this be a first small step to help students delve into magic?

For example, if you answer a question the Weasley twins ask on the forum wouldn't keen-eyed students be able to extricate themselves from the prank by using such knowledge?

I'd love to see a Hogwarts where students prank each other not only by slinging dragon dung bombs at each other and professors but by engaging in a study of magic, wouldn't you?

Your silly student,

Loki']

'Good enough?'

'Probably. I'm sure Professor Snape would do anything to get rid of the twins throwing dung bombs at him.'

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A/N : Extra chapter 'cause you lot crossed a hundred powerstones so soon!!! Let's gooo!!!

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