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HP X LOTM : Please Call Me Mr. Error.

"When did I sign away my wealth to you!?" Lockhart asked, shocked. "That's the neat part about it, you don't know.", Loki said with a smile. "Hmm...I can feel it. I can feel the power coursing through my veins." Voldemort said as he felt his face after his rebirth. "Huh? Where's my nose!!!?" "Obviously, I have it! Do you want it? If you want it you need to praise Dumbledore!!" Loki said with an innocent smile. "Lord Voldemort does not need to listen to yo- Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of all time!!" Voldemort said with fanatic eyes, creating confusion amongst the death eaters. 'What!? Why am I saying this!? What did he do to me!?' "Who are you!??" Dumbledore asked calmly. "Me? Have I not introduced myself yet? Please call me Mr. Error." Loki said with a smile while adjusting the monocle over his right eye. Read more about Loki's adventures as he walks through his years at Hogwarts meeting and scamming an array of famous personalities that have become infamed in the world of Harry Potter. ********************************************************** Read 20 chapters ahead on my p@treon for $3 (USD) by going to the link, pa treon.com/hooin_kyoma_au . Remember to remove the space between 'a' and 't'.

Hooin_Kyoma · Derivados de obras
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241 Chs

Vain.

"An announcement? What's that about?"

"I'm being serious here when I say we should stop investigating into this case." Loki said with his brows furrowed.

"Wha- How can you do that Loki! Now that we know the truth let's let the students know!" Hermione shouted as if someone had taken her Christmas present.

"You should know better Mione. You've already suffered once. Do you want something worse to happen to you once again? We're dealing with You-Know-Who here. It is better we don't paint a target on our backs and the backs of several students and teachers who read our papers."

"But-"

"Do you really think you know better than Headmaster Mione? It is probably because of a similar reason that the Headmaster doesn't want the ghosts to reveal the info."

Hermione finally gave a resigned look and quietened down.

"What do you think Daphne? Do you want to investigate more into this?"

Daphne looked a little frustrated too but she eventually shook her head.

"Good. Let's leave it to the teachers, I'm sure they're more equipped to handle the matter anyway, isn't that right Hermione? Promise me you won't look into it behind our backs?"

"....*sigh* fine, I promise I won't go looking for it.", Hermione said with a frustrated look, but given Daphne was on Loki's side she decided not to argue and conceded victory to Loki.

"You too Daphne. Promise us you won't do anything regarding this issue behind our backs." Loki said turning toward Daphne.

Daphne nodded and said faintly, "I promise."

"Good. Let's do this instead, let's run fake stories and dedicate a column to making up theories on the Chamber of Secrets and try and dissuade people from learning more about it using more 'interesting' rumors. Can we do that?"

"Rumors would help." Daphne stated plainly.

"Alright, I'll get onto it." Hermione said and switched back to doing her work until Loki interrupted the two working witches with strange words.

"By the way, I promised Myrtle that I'd entertain her whenever she came to classroom 2-21 while I'm here. That involves playing a few rounds of Arcadia Royal, is that alright?"

Hermione and Daphne had a slight frown on their faces but they said nothing and nodded, and each slipped back into their own rhythm of work with Hermione writing articles along with Loki and Daphne drawing illustrations for them under Loki's supervision.

The articles ranged from the mundane, 'The Heir Of Slytherin Hates This One Trick.' to questionable things that Loki felt were 'plausible' like, 'The Heir Of Slytherin Is You.'

"I mean imagine the actual culprit reads this and they're like, 'Oh no! I've been caught!' wouldn't giving them a mini heart attack be a little cool?" Loki argued but Hermione and Daphne ignored him.

As the sun set and the room emptied with Hermione and Daphne going their own separate ways, Loki left alone in the room looked out of the window at the still black lake that looked like an abyss while wondering random things.

'A snake hissing sound and someone from a pathway with the ability to turn a divination into a trap.'

'And You-Know-Who.'

'With the petrification of Miss Norris, it is clear that the Chamber of Secrets has been opened, and with You-Know-Who being involved the question is not who has opened the Chamber, but how.'

'How did he open the Chamber of Secrets while he isn't present here?'

'Is he attached to the back of some professor's head again? Or some student this time?'

'How exactly did he do it?' Loki wondered.

'Didn't Mione tell that Harry was a parsletongue? Is it him that's opening the chamber of secrets?'

'If he is not doing it consciously, then is someone controlling him to open the chamber perhaps?'

'But he has the protection of being 'Adam's' protagonist so it is unlikely someone will be able to control him without 'Adam' noticing.'

'Damn what sort of shitty writing is 'Adam' going to come up for his plot this time? I lost and acquiesced to his plot last time, but I'll make sure I'll come out on top this time.' Loki wondered but like the depth of the black lake, Loki's thoughts continued to spiral away until he lost track of them.

On a day like any other, Loki was working on the half-completed alchemical items the Weasley twins had given him.

"Hmm…yes, a horizontal infinity draw in a counterclockwise manner will fit here since it indicates perfect balance.", Loki mumbled as he worked on the twin's extendable ears. "The infinity helps the sound to travel further without any distortio-"

Just as Loki was about to finish carving the symbol on the earpiece with his wand the door opened softly.

Snape stepped into the room and looked at Loki while Loki got out of his focused state and looked at Snape in confusion.

"Yes? Professor? Do you need me for something?"

"I was just informed by the Fat Friar that you asked him about the Chamber of Secrets?" Snape asked with slightly raised eyebrows, expecting an explanation.

"Ah~! You don't have to worry professor, the Hogwarts Honest Mill has decided not to run any stories that match the original, we will be strictly keeping it to the rumours that everyone's been hearing about them."

Snape nodded and accepted Loki's explanation without much argument and then he spoke.

"You are to be present in the Quidditch ground if you are not working Mr. Loki. You cannot use 'hobby' work as an excuse to skip Quidditch matches." Snape said looking at Loki holding one of the pairs of the extendable ears that he was holding.

"Yes, professor. I will be there! I promise."

Snape nodded again and left as smoothly as he'd come, gliding away like a bat.

Finishing up the extendable ears in a few more minutes, Loki tested them and once he was satisfied he placed them into the bag the Weasley twins had given him and moved on his way toward the Quidditch pitch.

Wading through the crowd, Loki arrived at the stands and found himself a seat to watch the upcoming match between Gryffindor and Slytherin.

"Ladies and gentlemen welcome back to the first quidditch game of the season!!!" Lee Jordan announced as the Slytherin and Gryffindor students walked over to the pitch.

The game proceeded normally until everyone noticed that a particular bludger in the game was targeting Harry continuously.

'Isn't this the same script as last time?'

'Which professor it this time that's attacking Harry?' Loki thought and looked at the teacher's stands wondering who was foolish enough to attack Harry in the presence of Dumbledore.

'Huh? Wait, why is 'Adam' not here again!?'

'Damn does 'Adam' really only have one type of plot?'

It wasn't long before the game ended when Harry caught the snitch only for the bludger that was targeting him to smash his elbow, breaking it in the process with a loud *Smack*.

"Excuse me! Coming through!" Lockhart shouted as he waded his way to Harry through the crowd and stood above him.

"I don't want a photo, Colin!" Harry shouted apparently hearing the noise of a shutter clicking in the background.

"Lie back, Harry.", Lockhart said soothingly and then twirled his wand and pointed it at Harry's broken arm.

There was no noise or any flash of light, but Harry's arm lost its bones when Lockhart ended. It had become a flubbery, rubbery, piece of meat that flopped around as Harry was finally lifted onto a stretcher and carried away to the Hospital wing.

'Did Lockhart attack him to show off his skills?'

'No…he's not that vain…is he?'

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