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HP X LOTM : Please Call Me Mr. Error.

"When did I sign away my wealth to you!?" Lockhart asked, shocked. "That's the neat part about it, you don't know.", Loki said with a smile. "Hmm...I can feel it. I can feel the power coursing through my veins." Voldemort said as he felt his face after his rebirth. "Huh? Where's my nose!!!?" "Obviously, I have it! Do you want it? If you want it you need to praise Dumbledore!!" Loki said with an innocent smile. "Lord Voldemort does not need to listen to yo- Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of all time!!" Voldemort said with fanatic eyes, creating confusion amongst the death eaters. 'What!? Why am I saying this!? What did he do to me!?' "Who are you!??" Dumbledore asked calmly. "Me? Have I not introduced myself yet? Please call me Mr. Error." Loki said with a smile while adjusting the monocle over his right eye. Read more about Loki's adventures as he walks through his years at Hogwarts meeting and scamming an array of famous personalities that have become infamed in the world of Harry Potter. ********************************************************** Read 20 chapters ahead on my p@treon for $3 (USD) by going to the link, pa treon.com/hooin_kyoma_au . Remember to remove the space between 'a' and 't'.

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212 Chs

Gossip.

Waiting in the train even after it had stopped, Loki wondered if Lupin had forgotten to escort him to Hospital Wing.

'Surely he hasn't forgotten rig-'

*Knock* *Knock*

Loki got up and opened the door, finding Professor Lupin on the other side.

"Hello, student. I hope you didn't wait long."

"Ah~ Sorry for being rude, I haven't introduced myself yet, have I? My name's Loki, I'm currently starting my third year." Loki said politely.

"Haha~ Don't worry, you weren't in the right state of mind earlier.", Lupin said calmly with a smile.

Loki nodded thankfully and began to follow Lupin out of the train.

A comfortable silence lingered between them as Loki followed in his footsteps.

As soon as they sat in the last carriage that was waiting for them, Lupin asked Loki a question.

"I've heard you guys haven't had any decent Defense Against Dark Arts professors for the last few years, is that true?"

"Yes, unfortunately, one pretended to be weak and the other was a fraud.", Loki stated bluntly. "But I'm glad to have you, at least you know what you're doing."

"Oh? How do you know that I know what I'm doing?" Lupin asked with a flushed face.

"Oh please! If either of the two professors from earlier were present during the time when the dementor was on me, I wouldn't be here right now!"

"Haha~ although it isn't in my taste to compare or talk behind other people's backs, thank you for giving me a compliment."

"Worry not professor, you've gained a fan!" Loki said with a bright smile on his face as if he wasn't in a life-or-death situation moments prior. "By the way, what were those spells you used to drive away the Dementor and to save me?"

"That was the Patronus spell, Mr. Loki. It was a manifestation of your spirit messenger, formed with an amalgamation of your happiest memories based on your history with them."

"And the one you used after that?"

"It was a variation of the spell, 'Renervate'."

"Hmm…I see. Can yo-"

"No. Mr. Loki, although I might know the spells, I don't think I can teach a third-year student the spells."

"But I'm talented!" Loki said trying to convince Lupin.

"Ha~ It's funny you say that, if that's the case you should try and learn them from the books in the library, I can point you in the right direction with the books if you want."

Loki's eyes brightened and he nodded, "That's enough. I'm sure I can grasp it by the end of the year."

"You sure are excited, don't worry, I'll get you the books in your first class with me."

"Thank you, Professor." Loki said, doing an exaggerated bow while sitting.

*Neigh*

The Theastrals pulling the carriage stopped indicating they'd reached.

"It seems we've reached Mr. Loki, let's go to the Hospital Wing."

"Hm~m."

Lupin walked ahead while Loki followed behind him, there were a few students in the castle talking to each other at the gates, celebrating their reunion after a long holiday, but none interrupted Lupin and Loki on their way to the Hospital Wing.

"Madam Pomfrey.", Lupin said as he pushed open the door softly.

"Lupin!!! Do you nee-"

"I'm not here for me Madam, I'm here for him." Lupin interrupted and pushed Loki forward.

"Loki?" Madam Pomfrey asked with wrinkled brows. "What happened to you?"

"You know him? That makes it easier then." Lupin said and proceeded to explain, "He was almost given a dementor's kiss, they attacked him while he was on the train."

Madam Pomfrey's eyes immediately turned bloodshot.

"Dementors?! On the train!!? What was Dumbledore thinking!! Last year it was Salazar's stupid experimental pet! And this year it's Dementors!!!"

Although Madam Pomfrey was furious, she was diligently waving her wand around Loki, casting spells and performing her diagnosis on Loki.

"You did good to catch him when you did Lupin." Madam Pomfrey said, "His soul has suffered tears, although small, I will need him to rest here until tomorrow."

"I see." Lupin nodded, "I shall leave the rest in your capable hands Madam Pomfrey."

"Thank you. Please inform Albus about this."

"I shall Madam, you don't have to worry.", Lupin said and left the Hospital wing after patting Loki lightly on his shoulder.

"Why did you go around romancing with a dementor Loki? Is your head alright?" Madam Pomfrey scolded Loki like an overbearing mother.

"Haha~ I swear it wasn't because of me this time."

"It has to be because of you! How do you keep getting into so much trouble!? I still remember in your first year you dragged me to that scene where everyone was leaking blood like fountains!"

"Ehh!! But that wasn't because of me! That was because of You-Know-Who!!"

"And this? Why did the dementor come after you? Was it because of You-Know-Who again?" Madam Pomfrey asked and stared right into Loki's eyes.

Loki wanted to lie and say, 'Yes it was!' but he eventually gave up under the pressuring gaze and pulled out his wand.

"My wand is made from the bone of a dementor. Unluckily, the dementor also happens to still be alive and kicking, well not like they can die anyway, so yeah."

Madam Pomfrey looked at the wand and her eyes narrowed for a fraction of a second almost as if she flinched before letting out a light *sigh* as she turned around a walked towards her cupboard to pull a shimmering blue potion pot.

"Here, drink this, it will help you recover faster."

"Thanks.", Loki said and pulled out the stopper on the flask and gulped the simmering blue liquid that was inside it.

It tasted extremely disgusting, but immediately Loki felt a surge of warmth blanket his body as he felt better than ever.

"I didn't know I could feel this much better than before!!"

"Now go lie down on that bed over there! Quietly! I don't want you to disturb me!" Madam Pomfrey shouted as she walked towards her potion-making room that was attached to the hospital itself.

Loki looked at Madam Pomfrey with an earnest gaze and didn't say anything, his meaning was clear, he wanted to join her.

"*Sigh* Fine! Fine! Follow me! I have lots of potions to make, a helping hand won't be that bad."

"Thank you Mam!!" Loki said with a smile and followed Madam Pomfrey with a skip in his step as he walked with her to the potions room where he worked with her until deep in the night to create the same potion he was given but for the rest of the children in the castle.

"By the way Madam Pomfrey, what was that about Salazar Slytherin's pet? Do you know where I can find it? I'd love to make friends with it." Loki said softly as he wondered if she knew about the Basilisk.

Madam Pomfrey only waved her hand and said calmly, "Don't worry about it, it doesn't feel good to pet anyway. And it probably won't like being pet. The damn thing hates people other than the man himself."

"Oh?" Loki was a bit surprised… "And how do you know that?"

"I know a lot of things. Students gossip while they are here all the time."

Loki nodded and continued working on the potions.

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A/N : Sorry for the delay, got caught up in Diwali celebrations. And extra chapter will be coming out soon! Take care! Thank you for reading!

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