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HP X LOTM : Please Call Me Mr. Error.

"When did I sign away my wealth to you!?" Lockhart asked, shocked. "That's the neat part about it, you don't know.", Loki said with a smile. "Hmm...I can feel it. I can feel the power coursing through my veins." Voldemort said as he felt his face after his rebirth. "Huh? Where's my nose!!!?" "Obviously, I have it! Do you want it? If you want it you need to praise Dumbledore!!" Loki said with an innocent smile. "Lord Voldemort does not need to listen to yo- Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of all time!!" Voldemort said with fanatic eyes, creating confusion amongst the death eaters. 'What!? Why am I saying this!? What did he do to me!?' "Who are you!??" Dumbledore asked calmly. "Me? Have I not introduced myself yet? Please call me Mr. Error." Loki said with a smile while adjusting the monocle over his right eye. Read more about Loki's adventures as he walks through his years at Hogwarts meeting and scamming an array of famous personalities that have become infamed in the world of Harry Potter. ********************************************************** Read 20 chapters ahead on my p@treon for $3 (USD) by going to the link, pa treon.com/hooin_kyoma_au . Remember to remove the space between 'a' and 't'.

Hooin_Kyoma · Derivados de obras
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241 Chs

A Welcome Letter!

Putting away his notes that he had conjured up inside the Sefirah Castle, Loki relaxed back in his chair as he held his head and went through all that he had revised while inside the sefirot.

"Peculiar." Loki said.

"How very peculiar."

Loki looked at the seemingly normal ruby ring that was lying on the table and picked it up.

Covering it in his spirituality, Loki waited for a few seconds and immediately after, a soft blue glow covered the entire ring.

The glow was not an aura per se, although it did look like it, but upon closer inspection, Loki could see several tiny shimmering shapes deliberately scratched into the ring's body.

"What are these?" Loki wondered out loud.

He had discovered them by accident when he was casting magic in his way, by just throwing out his spirituality until a pattern formed by luck and his intent caused the magic.

He was wearing the ring and occasionally his spirituality clouded the ring and caused the scratches to show up because they were glowing.

"Are these runes?" Loki made an educated guess.

"But why do they look so familiar?"

"They look like the illustrations of wand movements in the book in Black Manor."

"*sigh* I can't read books from the black manor anymore until I receive my letter from Hogwarts. This would've been so much simpler otherwise."

"Maybe I can ask Kreacher to bring me a book?"

"Nah…I don't want to take risks. Who knows what they quill might write down otherwise."

"Are runes just wand movement patterns?"

"But does this mean that all magic can be written down and performed like that?"

"Ehh…my spirituality has almost drained, let's keep this problem for later." Loki nodded to himself and willed to end the ritual keeping him inside the Sefirah Castle.

As soon as Loki arrived in his body however he noticed something peculiar on the window near him.

*Hoot* *Hoot*

"Hello little birdy." Loki said with a calm smile and moved to pet the bird spirit.

The rather small owl *hooted* in satisfaction and put up its leg that was holding onto the letter, expecting Loki to free its burden.

Loki pulled the letter by softly prying away the claws of the owl and looked at it with a sparkle in his eyes.

"Ha! I'm going to a magical school!" Loki said excitedly swinging about.

After giving the little owl a bit of his bread which it affectionately pecked on while standing on the window sill, Loki began to observe the letter carefully.

On the front, written in emerald green ink were the words, "To Loki, The First Floor of the Burnt House on Crommwell Road, Warley."

On the back of the letter was the Hogwarts coat of arms impressioned in lac, keeping the letter sealed.

The Hogwarts coat of arms seal was divided into four quadrants, containing a badger on the bottom left, a raven on the bottom right, a lion on the top left and a serpent on the top right.

Underneath the crest were the words, 'Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus' which Loki immediately translated as 'Never tickle a sleeping dragon.'

"Huh. Never tickle a sleeping dragon? That's a bit random, is it not? Do they have dragons at Hogwarts?" Loki mumbled but then pried open the seal with his fingers, taking great care not to damage the letter in any way.

Pulling out the yellow parchment in the ancient-looking envelope, Loki read the first letter.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,

Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Mr. Loki,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

A teacher will be at your home tomorrow afternoon (30th June) at 12:30 pm, please be ready to meet with them and go shopping for your supplies as you are from a muggle (non magical) family.

Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

Seeing the letter in his hands, Loki felt a great deal of joy and he couldn't believe his eyes but the weight of the letter in his hands was enough to keep him calm.

"How is this Dumbledore person able to manage so many titles? Isn't he very busy? How does he perform his headmaster duties?"

But then Loki noticed the name at the bottom of the letter.

"He seems to have left the letter duties to the Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall. Poor lady she must've had to do so much more work than him."

"Oh wait, couldn't she just have magicked a quill to do it for her?"

"And what's with this 'family' business, didn't they know I was an orphan? So insensitive..."

Moving onto the second sheet of the paper Loki found himself recognising a few things from when Walburga trained him and also from the Black Manor library.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

UNIFORM

First-year students will require:

Three sets of plain work robes (black) One plain pointed hat (black) for daywear One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar) One winter cloak (black, with silver fastenings)

Please note that all pupil's clothes should carry name tags.

COURSE BOOKS

All students should have a copy of each of the following:

The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk

A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot

Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling

A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch

One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore

Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander

The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble

OTHER EQUIPMENT

1 wand

1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)

1 set glass or crystal phials

1 telescope

1 set brass scales

Students may also bring, if they desire, an owl OR a cat OR a toad.

PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS

ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICK

Yours sincerely,

Lucinda Thomsonicle-Pocus

Chief Attendant of Witchcraft Provisions

"I can imagine why a few people must think of this as a scam or an elaborate joke." Loki mumbled but there was a shine in his eyes that nothing could hide.

"Ha! The author of the magical plant's book is named Spore."

A sudden flapping of wings notified Loki of the departure of the small owl that had delivered him the good news, which he followed as far as he could until midway through, Loki saw the owl vanish into a slip in space and time.

'It went into the spirit world?'

But then left alone, Loki's brain cooked up various different scenarios.

"Haha!" Loki giggled like a madman.

He imagined him becoming the Lord of the Mysteries and taking over the Hogwarts castle, defeating a dragon along with his Niffler and performing such miraculous spells that would leave everyone including the headmaster stunned.

He remained drowned in his overactive imagination until he fell asleep curled in a fetal position with a prominent smile on his face.

"Ha! I will be the greatest wizard of all time! I'm going to be the best!"

Mid way through his sleep Loki found himself in a dream where he travelled back in time to meet the Hogwarts founders and beat them up with a happy smile.