Chapter - 74 : Misunderstanding Part - 4

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"You're sorry? You're sorry!? I don't... Do you even..." Beyond words, Harry felt like ranting and raving, but nothing felt strong enough to verbalise the absolute loathing that he felt. Without the ability to curse her it made him feel impotent and that only made him angrier.

"I promise I didn't tell them anything but the basics," she rushed out when he sputtered.

Lost in fury, for a moment he simply didn't understand the words. Tell who? Tell what? But his reasoning hadn't left him completely and he quickly realised she was talking about her spying for the Order.

As if he cared about that right now.

He knew he should though and the fact that he didn't care about something that important made him realise he was teetering on the edge of a cliff. It allowed him enough self-control to turn away and start taking deep, deep breaths. Heaving like a racehorse Harry stared at Hogwarts in the distance, wondering if a sudden meteor strike would not improve this world immensely.

"I'm sorry," Tonks repeated herself in a small voice.

Harry wanted to scream and curse her, but when had getting angry ever solved anything for him? She didn't even know why he was furious with her, though the reasons she imagined were valid enough. So instead of following his instincts, he pushed the anger down as best he could and, staring blankly in the distance, growled from between clenched teeth. "Talk."

She sighed a long, drawn out breath of pent up frustration, misery and self-loathing. "After the meeting where you almost killed Dumbledore and stole Moody's eye people weren't feeling really charitable towards you. Mad-eye especially was insistent we keep tabs on you, but with Dumbledore's promise that the Order would stay out of your way that was difficult. So he drew a few of us aside and told me to 'use my talents and get us some intel.' Told me to 'use whatever it took.'"

Her voice turned bitter. "I refused, of course. I'm not some sex toy for them to throw at close-mouthed suspects."

Harry scoffed derisively. "Oh no, clearly you're anything but that."

"What?" she said with a little more fire. "I am not some hooker. I dated you because I wanted to, because I thought you were a genuinely nice and fun bloke despite having been dealt a bad hand."

"Just as you are a nice and fun-loving minx, despite the the lying and the spying and following orders to shack up with me in the first place," he retorted, voice laced with venom.

She deflated. "I swear to you, I didn't tell them anything beyond the basics and beyond my name and face I didn't once lie to you."

She sounded so very sincere and for a moment Harry considered the notion before he shook his head and chuckled without a hint of humour. "Even if that were true, it doesn't matter. Do you know why?" The question was asked calmly, but it was laced with clearly suppressed anger.

It made her pause, as if she realised nothing good could come of answering, but not knowing what else to do. "Why?" she asked reluctantly.

Harry whirled around to face her and screamed, "Because you're one of the arseholes that tore me from home and dumped me in this hell before any of that even became a problem!"

"I'm sorry," she said for the third time, shoulders slumping.

Suddenly Harry felt so very tired. He'd ranted and raved and begged and pleaded but there was just no reasoning with these people. "Yeah, well, you should have thought of that before you dragged innocent people from their homes and into your war."

As if his anger had to go somewhere when it found no purchase in his thoughts she narrowed her eyes at him and her voice gained a sharp edge.

"Hey!" she snapped. "It's not like we thought, 'ooh, there's not enough people around being shat on, let's import and make it really exotic.' We had a damn good reason for doing what we did, even if it wasn't particularly nice to you."

"And yet," Harry said bitingly, "I have not heard one word that justifies kidnapping, torturing and disfiguring me."

"Because you wouldn't let us explain!" she yelled. "Every time we've come face to face you've been screaming abuse at us, even going so far as to attack Dumbledore and Mad-eye before demanding we leave you alone."

"Oh?" he said dangerously. "I distinctly recall being drugged and interrogated while you all discussed how fortunate it was that I was here to tell you how our Dark Lord died."

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