Do Women Want Sex As Much As Men Do?
Hell yes! Where did the hideous rumor that women do not like sex start? Of
course we do and why wouldn't we? Sex feels good, it is fun, and can release
heaps of tension and anxiety. Then why the rumor?
Why this belief that women are not sexual and don't want sex as frequently as
men, when there are hundreds of studies that prove they do? When it comes to
sexuality, I can tell you as a woman that I feel most liberated when I am in
control of the choice to be sexual. Woman don't want to feel used, taken
advantage of or empty - as if they could be replaced by anything with breasts for
your enjoyment. We want to be part of the experience. We want to be part of the
choice to have sex.
We do not want to feel that because we are women we owe someone sex, or
that sex has been forced upon us or that we owe sex in exchange for a meal. We
want to own the decision, and enjoy every second of the experience.
I'm going to share a story with you.
When I was younger, I was a huge prude. I had tons of guy friends who would
take advantage of women and lie to get them in bed. Now, even though these
guys never treated me this way, it caused me to put up barriers fearing that all
men would do the same thing to me if I let them. I never wanted to be taken
advantage of or seen as a slut.
I became the kissing bandit and made a rule to only kiss men until they proved
they really liked me and would never use me. I made men jump through hoops to
get any more from me. That was until I went backpacking and met a man who
changed it all for me. A man that got me to open up in just one night.
I was out with my girlfriends one night in a little town called Byron Bay that
was filled with tons of other backpackers from around the world. We got to one
bar that we loved and planted ourselves in our usual spot when I suddenly
spotted this cute blonde guy across the bar.
Now this guy was not attractive because of his looks. In fact, this guy was five
foot five, super skinny, and not my type at all. I found him attractive because of
the way that he was acting. I could tell right away he was the leader of his group
the way that he was acting. I could tell right away he was the leader of his group
and he was ensuring his whole group was having a great time. He didn't focus
on girls; in fact, he didn't seem concerned with anyone other than his friends. He
was focused on having fun and getting the most out of his evening.
I immediately thought, "I want him." I grabbed my girlfriend and made her
come with me so that we could stand near the group and catch his attention. Five
minutes later and nothing had happened. I was pissed and felt unattractive. Then
suddenly he walked by us, said something, which I cannot even remember, and
went back to enjoying his friends. I was extremely turned on.
Towards the end of the night, as we were ready to leave, he approached me and
we started talking. He offered to walk me back to my hostel, which he happened
to be staying at as well and I of course said yes. We got back to my place, I
invited him in, and we instantly started kissing and moved our way to my bed.
Then as soon as he tried to go further than kissing, I immediately tensed up and
got scared.
That is when he did the best thing any guy had ever done with me. He stopped,
looked at me, and said, "If you are uncomfortable with anything we're doing I
want you to slap my hand and we'll stop immediately." He literally took my
hand and slapped his own.
Just hearing those words immediately calmed me down and got me to open up
liked I have never done before. That was my first ever one night stand. So what
is it about those words that got me to throw away all my boundaries? It occurred
to me that this guy understood women--something that I had never encountered
before. With just a few simple words and a little eye contact, this guy was able to
communicate four things to me:
1 I was in control of my sexuality.
2 I could choose what I wanted.
3 He wasn't going to force me to do anything I didn't want to do.
4 Most importantly, he was okay with whatever I chose.
This immediately took away the pressure and allowed me to do something I
had never done before: be in control of my own sexuality. It was amazing!
Choosing to be sexual can be empowering and liberating. So learn from this
advice above and stay calm, cool, and collected. You will start to see wome