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How to love a sociopath

Love.... What is this emotion that you speak about... Does it even exist.... To me?.... I'd never forget the day she smiled at me after I asked her why she was the way she was, I remember her asking me if I could handle it, if I could handle her...I laughed and look away from her eyes in moments like this, her confidence overwhelms my heart, so I crumble and and look away before I collapse. "I'm a sociopath...." She whispers making my neck snap back to her searching for that joking smile or laugh but she just raise a brow and struggled to hold in a laugh. "Ha see I told you, you can't handle me Khalid, stop wasting your time not that I mind though" she mutters before looking back up at the sky and sliding her eyes close probably due to the beautiful wind that caresses our being. For some weird reason I was unable to say a word but instead I just stared as her face that was now exposed due to her laying down on her back, every time she says those words I'm speechless, and she feels the need to remind me every time about her diagnosis, even though I want to pretend that it does exist, I guess this is her own way of caring, telling me how dangerous she could be...I probably should listen but I can't- "I know what you are thinking right now....I would not waste my time trying to defend myself nor would I try to proof to you about how am a good human being and blah blah blah, this is just me, emotions don't exist to me but transactions of self gratification do...if you don't like me then I dare you to walk away" those were the words she said to me the first time she ever revealed her diagnosis to me while staring up at me with her beautiful gummy smile. as if what she had just said to me was nothing big, as if it wasn't something that could make a human run far far away from her being, as if it was not something that could make me neurotic, and I don't know if I'm just plain stupid or not right now, but my feet still refused to move no matter how heavy the word that escaped from her lips felt against my being, I didn't move.. not even an inch, as my brain yelled at me to leave, Run and to flee, because these are the very people my parents told me to stay away from when I was younger they gave the word danger the meaning it has today,for they were the complete nuisances and deviants to society, or at least that was what everyone said simply because there is still currently no cure to this type of wounded minds in which these specific section of people possess, so of course,it's better to stay away from them right?, right?. But maybe she herself knew that I couldn't do it, that I couldn't walk away from her while being entrapped in my emotions and being enchanted by her beauty. I've heard from people that love always tend to make one weak and indeed she already has me on my knees and she knows it and I guess that's the scary part of it, maybe that's why she dared me walk away, with her cold eyes captivating me in a trance along with her beautiful smile, perhaps I'm stupid...because this was a very clear red flag, but here I was ready to sign myself up for that. "Pleasure to meet you once again" was all I said in reply giving her a goofy smile making her raise a brow at me, with a thoughtful look on her face before she smirked and shook her head..I wonder what she was thinking about right now... probably about how stupid I am or even more..that's one thing I've always disliked about her..it's almost impossible to read her but she knows how to read everybody within 3-5 minutes max, she reads the room like it's the back of her hand in her calculated mind...and then she goes on further to block you out with her beautiful innocent yet cold big Brown eyes..with her calculated gaze which still surprisingly able to make you feel comforted, understood and safe. And What a big mistake it is to believe that she cares about you enough to keep you safe when to her the world and relationships are simply all about what she can gain.

Wanderers_Concept · Ciudad
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11 Chs

Chapter  6 : Where is he?!!

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Khalid's POV

"Through the sound of the whole world falling apart never ever fail to listen to the wind as you stare at the skies, for who knows just maybe it shall reveal to you what is beyond the human eyes"

Khalid flinched at the sound of his phone going off out of the blue, before he shook his head at himself mentally scolding himself to stop being so afraid of everything every time before he pressed the answer button.

"Hello" answers Khalid with the phone held up to his ear by his shoulder while he was putting on his shoes, multitasking at his best of course, but he had no choice or time, or perhaps both.

"Ah hello, Mr Clautez, hopefully you are having a good day,we are calling to remind you about our arrival for your delivery in about two hours, we have gotten your things from the other city and we are bringing them soon" the person on the other line states.

"Arrival?, sorry but I didn't order anything online all throughout this week " Khalid says while pulling the laces of his shoes.

"But sir, you specifically asked us to come meet you at St Roslyn street, apartment 12 to deliver the rest of your things today, because you will be moving in today, you specifically asked us to get your things from your home city and to bring them to you at your new apartment today" the person behind the phone states making Khalid eyes to widen in realisation, as he glances at the calendar on the wall while trying to ignore the sound of one of James roommates who was snoring ever so loudly, even in broad daylight as if he ran a marathon earlier on, whereas the boy hasn't had any classes ever since the day before.

To be honest, Khalid might be a little bit jealous of the older students in the room because they are making it seem like it is so much fun and easier to be in your last year in university or at least that's what Khalid thinks to himself before he stalks up to where the calendar is. Indeed, it was the 13th of the month, how could he have forgotten something like this so easily?!.

"Ahhh Mr Kali, I am so sorry, I had almost forgotten about our deal. Is there a way to postpone this?, I have lectures today and my schedule is filled up, please..." Khalid states in a guilty tone.

"Ah but we have already began the journey, but it's alright we could try-

"ah no no no it's fine, I'll just think of something else" Khalid states feeling bad for stressing the man.

"But really it's no problem-"the man started to say but Khalid cut him off.

"Oh don't worry about it Mr Kali, I'll get back to you in a few minutes" Khalid promises before he hangs up. He glances at the clock, "well so much for arriving early in class today'' he thinks to himself with a frown or should he just skip for today but then he would miss out on a lot, probably miss out on a test too since it's test week for them…

And would you believe it if he says that he is still yet to make any friends in his level that would be able to tutor him on what he'll miss if he skips today, would the lecturer be willing to listen or even give him a resit test for this reason, to be honest Khalid doesn't even want to know because that would be him literally drawing unwanted attention to himself, which is something that he really hates to be honest.

Or Should he call Mr Kali back and plead with him that he can't make it today again?, but he has already told him that he would figure something out." Ahhhh, why do decisions have to be such a headache to arrive at?.

"Are you going to keep on pacing back and forth or would you actually leave and let me have my blissful sleep?" A familiar voice speaks up before letting out a yawn, making Khalid's head shoot up, only to find the male who had been snoring earlier suddenly awake, he glared at Khalid as if he had woken him up, which he probably has with those large boots he had on for today.

"Shit, did I wake you up?" Khalid states with a guilty look on his face

"Well no shit Sherlock Mr, obviously you and your gigantic shoes did, can you take them off if you want to pace around all day man" the guy states in a dead tone making Khalid send him a guilty smile.

"Well then sorry, I'm just worried, it turns out that I had forgotten that it was today that the moving truck would be coming to drop my things off " Khalid complains, making the other boy nod slowly in understanding, still feeling a little bit disoriented due to just waking up from sleep.

"Oh Well, I won't say I'm surprised, you are not the smartest crayon in the box" He replies in a sarcastic tone making Khalid throw a shirt in his face which made him burst out laughing.

"Hey!, what's that supposed to mean?" Khalid asks, obviously offended by the other boy.

"Well, it simply means that you need to leave because you pacing around is making me freaking dizzy and I really just want to sleep right now not deal with your drama" the man grumpily replied before turning to face away from Khalid who lets out a sigh.

"Right, sorry about that frank but please do you have any idea where James currently is?. I've been calling him but he's not answering" Khalid confesses, making the other boy raise a brow.

"Have you sent him a text yet?" He asked Khalid, who nodded in reply.

"Obviously and still no response, it's so frustrating" Khalid stated resuming his pacing.

"well, maybe he is in class dude, chill out he doesn't have to be close to his phone 24/7 he is not babysitting you" Frank suggests making Khalid let out an sigh in realisation of how he could find him and acceptance that indeed he wasn't babysitting him,  because well why didn't he think of that earlier on? , then he wouldn't have gone on, blasting calls and messages to the guy, like he was his freaking parent, but he doesn't have enough time to ruminate about that for now so he just lets out a sigh.

"yeah, you're right, maybe I'll just skip classes for today and go get things ready at the apartment instead" Khalid states with a defeated sigh while frank lets out a sigh, he doesn't have time to deal with this whole drama or kids, he had never been good at comforting anyone, it seems like that sleep he wanted to hop on so bad is not possible anymore, he contemplated on what to say next but got cut of by the sound of the door slamming open carelessly which he felt obviously irritated by, both of the boys looked up only to see Pete smiling widely.

"Hey guyss guess what?" Pete announced but he was unable to get the enthusiastic replies he wanted making him frown

"Can't you just shut up for once and stop acting like you are shitting the sun out of your butt for once" Frank snapped out of the blue, making Pete take offence to his existence on earth.

"Is that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?" Pete exclaims making the other boy shrug nonchalantly with a mocking smile

" I'm just saying it as it is, take it as it is" Frank says nonchalantly making Pete's mouth to fall open in disbelief he was about go of into an argument but he wasn't in mood for it, to be dragged down into Frank's pessimistic way of life of course, he is supposed to be the positive one around here.

"You know what, I don't have time for you and your attitude Frank today, if you are lacking sleep then get right into it and just so you know I'll be taking that as a compliment" Pete snaps back making Frank roll his eyes at him.

"whatever, I just want to sleep, can't you help out the kid, he is looking for James about him moving out it seems" Frank whispers to Pete who raises a brow at him before he turns around to see the boy sitting on his mattress yet looking like he was having a war like conversation inside of his head making him let out a sigh.

"hmm..where did you say get an apartment again?" Pete asked out of the blue curiosity breaking Khalid out of his train of thoughts

"at St Roslyn street, you know that one that's beside the bus station?" Khalid describes making Pete let out a sound in realisation.

"Oh Yeah, the new apartment complex is nice!" Pete states making Khalid raise a brow at this new information, the landlord didn't tell him that...,not that it mattered anyway, he just wanted to have a place to rest his head where his own privacy won't be invaded.

"Is it new?" Khalid questions the other boy who seemed to be busy typing away on his phone.

"Oh yeah,but just got completed a few months ago" Pete states absentmindedly

"So that's why it cost more than the others I checked out earlier on" Khalid states as the realisation hit him, half distracted, he looks down at his own phone, contemplating whether to call Mr Kali or not.

"Yo Khalid! Have you checked James' Instagram story today?" Pete questions out of the blue making Khalid raise a curious brow at him.

"No...am I supposed to?, look I don't have time for that "Khalid states while standing up from his bed deciding to just head to his new apartment.

"Yes, because all the answers you need are there man, take a look at this" Pete states, making Khalid lean forward in order to catch a glimpse of what laid on Pete's screen.

And there he was, smiling widely at some restaurant while some girl was beside him covering her face with her hand almost shyly.

"So Here I am having a mental breakdown while this goof is out there on a date" Khalid states with a small smile on his lips while Pete busted into laughter.

"Well, there you have it, thank me later with food upon your return" Frank states out of the blue, making both the likes of Khalid and Pete to raise a brow at Frank's confidence and sense of accomplishment which he carries with pride….all he did was lay there and made Pete do all the work and now he feels like he is entitled to food?, impossible! Pete thinks to himself and shakes his head at his foolish best friend.

"Thank you for what, you haven't done anything" Khalid states, making Frank's eyes widen dramatically, while Pete exploded into  mocking laughter, he wasn't expecting such violence from Khalid obviously.

"Hey! I saved you from bursting a cell in your brain while worrying about his well being as we can all see he is fine…" Frank states

"More than fine it seems, I wonder who that girl is though, probably a freshman" Pete started to say but trails off towards the end as curiosity crawled up his line of sight.

"Whatever man, I'm just gonna get going now, so they won't be stranded on the street" Khalid states before hurriedly makes his way out of the door.

He pulls out his phone and goes to open James Instagram stories to see more pictures of James eating and more,the last story seemed to be a review of the food from the restaurant and in it he mentioned the name of the restaurant making Khalid smirk.

                  Aha...Perfect!

"Sorry bro, I really don't want to be the one to barge in on your date but I also don't want to miss classes today because it's test week which means in every class I most likely will be given a test, prepared or not, and you're my last resort, I have no other choice, so be ready for my arrival as a date crasher" he thinks to himself before dashes off.