Pre-Wedding Jitters

Elora's pov.

Sitting at the dresser, dressed in a lengha of the lightest shade of pink, I stared at myself.

Thinking of the 'what ifs ' in my decision. But I quickly shake off the thoughts and focus on the future.

I will be a married woman today.

If someone had told me this a few weeks earlier, I would have laughed at their face and flipped them off. But yet, here I am today.

Doing all this just for my parent's approval and love.

No child should fight or prove themselves for their parent's love.

Now I am suffering.

I just had one wish, seriously.

I only wanted my parents to say that they loved me.

Only me.

I didn't want them to say, 'we love you, both.'

I only wanted them to say, 'I love you.'

I blinked my eyes rapidly to get rid of the unshed tears at the thought of yesterday.

~~~~~~~~~flashback, yesterday~~~~~~~~~~

I walked down to my parent's room to talk to them.

My feelings, my jitters and all the stuff girls talk about before their marriage.

Honestly, this is just an excuse for me to talk to them.

In all the wedding preparations, I never got to talk to them. It's not like I talked much with them. But still, our usual, casual talks were not there.

I knocked on the door but didn't get a reply.

I knocked again and waited. This time mom opens the door and groggily asks me what I want.

"Ma, I just wanted to talk to you guys about everything. Tomorrow is my wedding and all na."

"Elora, baccha, your father and I both are sleeping now. We have to wake up early and prepare everything tomorrow for the wedding. Even you go and sleep, we will talk tomorrow. Ok? " she replies and closes the door without my reply.

I felt hurt but tried to understand their point of view.

I tried to make myself understand that they were just tired.

I nod and start going back.

I felt her presence before I saw her.

My dear sister was standing there, with her arms crossed and a smug look on her face.

I gave her a confusing look and tried to move beside her, but she stopped my way.

I had enough and finally snapped at her,

"What?"

"Tsk- tsk, dear sister. I feel bad for you. You have always been hurled away like trash, even my parents- Oops, our parents don't want you, that's the reason they are hurrying to marry you to their friend's son. Like they couldn't even bother to find someone, especially for you." She said in a sickly sweet voice.

My face was emotionless.

But from the inside, I was planning ways to torture her. I never had a good relationship with her, but I never knew she hated me this much. And she does not even know who Reyansh is.

Hmm, interesting.

I was lost in my thoughts that I did not even hear half of what she was spewing.

"-Hello! I am talking to you. God, this girl is deaf as well. I pity her husband."

I looked at her, and in a calm tone, I said, "are you done being a brat? If not, please- continue doing it somewhere else."

"Huh, ok then, look at me." She replied.

I looked at her confused, but she just continued walking till she reached ma and papa's room.

She knocked on the door and waited for a few seconds.

Mom opened the door and- in an irritated voice, said, "Elora, I told you to not Dist-oh! Eeshu, it's you. What happened? Are you ok? Do you need something?" She asked Eesha, her tone going from irritated to concern filled.

"Suniye-Ji? Get up, see Eeshu is here." She said and ushered her in.

I watched her move inside, but not before giving me a smirk like saying, 'Look who doesn't love you.

I just stood there as the door closed, and both my parent's voices filled the room. I walked back to my room and closed the door.

Sighing, I stared at myself in the mirror.

I stared until I couldn't control them.

Hot tears spilt from my eyes, the sobs racking my body.

I couldn't do it anymore.

I just can't.

I can't fight for their love if there is no love in the first place.

Why, why can't they just love me?

Am I that bad?

I tried to wipe my tears, but new tears flooded my eyes and ran down my cheeks.

I can't do this anymore.

I'm done.

If they don't love me.

It is their loss.

I am strong.

I have to be strong.

As I let all my tears, feeling, and frustrations. My heart was simultaneously making the walls around it higher.

Stronger.

Leaving no warmth,

No love,

And no hope.

Then I cried and cried until there were no tears left.

I cried for the last time.

The last time of me was weak and vulnerable.

The last time of me hoping my parents for love...and maybe my husb-. No

No,

From now on, there will be no one in my heart.

No one will have my heart.

No one will leave me vulnerable or weak.

No.

One.

~~~~~~~~~flashback over~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A knock on the door snapped me back from the horrible flashback- of my parents not loving me.

Anyway, I dismissed the idea and got up to see who it was.

I opened the door to see a gorgeous young girl, maybe in her early twenties, carrying 2-3 boxes of jewellery and dressed in a dark blue plain length with a strip of mirror work at the bottom and a full sleeve blue blouse.

She grinned at me from behind the boxes, a Cheshire grin and said, "Hey bhabhi, I am Naira. Reyansh's sister. You're indeed stunning, and, OMG- you're looking amazing. My brother is so lucky to have you as his wife. And- ",

She stopped abruptly, looking at my emotionless face.

I knew for strangers, I looked pretty scary. Most just shut up and leave me alone. But she failed to notice this and continued,

"Umm, Bhabhi. What happened? Please don't tell me that we got another 'I am going to kill you with my eyes' at home." She questioned, her face coming back to her usual cheerful self.

"It's ok, you're pretty. It can cancel off the cold stare..." She started rambling again, but I didn't pay any attention to her and just moved inside. She followed me like a lost puppy.

"Anyways, Bhabhi, mom sent these for you. She said that she can't come to see you now because he is busy, so she will meet you at the mandap directly."

"Ok," I said in return.

"Oh, ok then. Umm, if you want anything- then just call for me. I'm just down the hall. Umm, ya. Now I think I'll go. Ya." she said and ran out of the room like her tail was on fire.

I chuckled silently- as I watched her go.

Hmm, I think I can tolerate this girl a little.

I just hope that all the other 'family members are the same, so I can tolerate them.

Well, I can ask my 'MIL' to introduce me first, so it does not get awkward when I meet them all.

Suddenly my mom barged into my room, and my small smile disappeared and turned into a blank face.

She ignored me, or ignored to even look at my dress and compliment me, but what else should I expect; and took my dupatta and put it on my head, bringing it down to my nose- so that only my lips were visible.

"Ok, now be ready everything- is set. It's time for you to go out in the mandap. Wait for your chachas to come and take you, ok?" She asked in one breath. And I nodded my head.

She went out of the room mumbling to herself- about what she was supposed to do for the guests.

I took a deep breath and calmed my mind.

This is it.

This is the final moment.

I nodded my head to myself and took long deep breaths.

Finally, I opened the door to face my destiny.

And new life ahead.