ashes to ashes

In the aftermath of the blaze, Jane, Alex's mother, enveloped me in a tender embrace. Her hair, once a rich shade of brown, now appeared darkened by the rain. Sensing my lingering tension, they soon released me, granting me the solitude I needed, and retreated to their home. To my astonishment, it stood unscathed despite the ferocity of the fire that ravaged my own and how close our homes were. My relief, however, was fleeting, as the dying warmth of the fire's embers drew my thoughts back to the present.

With each step through the grey aftermath, the reality of loss weighed heavily on me. The place I once called home was now a sea of grey, the ashes beneath my feet marking the grave of memories. I wandered to where my room once stood, a hollowed-out space where my few cherished books and the scant collection of clothes had succumbed to the flames, along with the bed that was always too firm for comfort. Everything was now just a silhouette in ash.

I continued on, guided by the ghostly blueprint of the house, until I reached the area that had been my sister's room. There, too, was nothing but the emptiness of loss. Yet, amidst the ruin, a puzzle presented itself—there was no trace of her, no remnants to mark her presence. This absence, perplexing as it was, sparked a tiny flame of hope. Could it be that she had escaped the blaze? The thought alone carved a path for optimism in my heart.

The urgency in my heart propelled me toward the kitchen, the fragile hope that had blossomed within me shattering in an instant. Before me lay a figure, charred beyond recognition, the harsh reality that it was my sister's body sinking in with a devastating finality. No strands of hair, no trace of blood remained; the fire had been merciless. Identifiable only by the distinctive silver star necklace that was around her neck—a necklace I knew well, for it was hers, a symbol of her presence in our shared home.

With a heavy heart and a grim expression etched upon my face, I approached what was left of her. Trembling, I reached out and carefully unclasped the necklace, feeling its searing heat against my skin as I draped it around my own neck, a painful connection to the sister I had lost. The metal scorched me slightly, a reminder of the flames that had taken so much from me.

Tears escaped me, each one a silent testament to the bond we shared, as memories of Alyssa flooded in—a deluge of the past that the fire could not erase. I remembered our sibling squabbles, how she'd playfully leverage her status as the younger sister, imploring with wide, innocent eyes, "I'm Alyssa! Your little sister, you have to love me!" And I did, every time.

Then there were the moments of carefree joy, dancing clumsily around the living room to the sound of our mother's favorite songs. We were terrible dancers, tripping over our own feet more often than not, our laughter mingling with the melodies until it was all one beautiful mess. Those missteps never failed to amuse Mom, her laughter a warm embrace that seemed to fill the room.

And the dress-up games—oh, how she loved those. Alyssa, with her boundless imagination, would insist I play the princess, while she, with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, would don the role of the dragon. Not the damsel in distress, but the fierce creature of legend. It was a sight that never ceased to bring a smile to my face, no matter how many times we played it out.

These memories, precious and vivid, were a stark contrast to the grim reality before me.

Every time life's shadows crept too close, every time I felt the sting of sadness or the ache of injury, Alyssa was there. Her small arms would wrap around me in an embrace that seemed to fend off the world, her voice a gentle whisper promising, "It's gonna be okay, I'll protect you." And when she spoke of standing up to bullies, her determination was a light that pierced through any darkness, lifting my spirits and coaxing a reluctant smile.

Our childhood was of trials, woven with the threads of hardship from the malevolence of unforgiving villagers to the gnawing pangs of hunger that too often visited our home. Yet, perhaps the most heart-wrenching challenge was Alyssa's sickness, a cruel thief that kept her confined within the walls of our home, stealing the vibrancy from her days. Despite it all, her spirit remained unbroken. Those days, those struggles, they shaped us in ways that only shared suffering and shared love can. Alyssa was more than my sister; she was my protector, my beacon of hope, and the laughter that echoed against the backdrop of a world that wasn't always kind. Her legacy, her strength, and her love are etched into the very core of who I am, and no fire, no matter how fierce, can burn that away.

Despite the adversity we faced, the bond between Alyssa and me was a source of unyielding joy. We were each other's sanctuary, a pair of souls intertwined by shared laughter and tears, finding solace in the simplest of pleasures that only siblings can understand. Our games, our dreams, our unspoken promises – they were the light that kept the shadows at bay. In the face of everything, it was a happy childhood because we had each other.

Now, with the aftermath of the fire laying bare, I rose from the depths of remembrance. The kitchen, once the heart of our home, led me to our mother's room, where the expected sight of tragedy was absent. No evidence of her presence, no finality, no body nothing – just silence.

"What?... does that mean she's alive?" The words tumbled out, a whisper riding on the wings of hope, trying to will the possibility into existence. The memories that had held me captive broke, giving way to a frantic search. Room by room, corner by corner, I sought any sign of her, but found nothing. If there were no remains, then surely, she must be alive?Somewhere out there, mom could be waiting.

i then went to the kitchen where my sisters body was once more. Steeling myself, as I knelt, the cold floor a stark contrast to the warmth of memories. "Mom will be back soon, sis, don't worry... just know I love you too," I murmured, the words a tender balm to the ache within. As the night stars twinkled indifferently, tears breached the dam of my composure, cascading down my cheeks.

The night air, once filled with the comforting chorus of crickets, now resonated with the silence of her absence. Amidst the tears and the pain, I clung to the hope that our mother's return would bring some wholeness to our fractured family.

In the quiet of the kitchen, the echoes of what ifs are deafening. I should've been there earlier, to bask in the precious moments with her. The words 'I love you' left unsaid that night now hang heavy in my heart. And in the fire's fury, I let fear guide me, I should've braved the flames for one more chance to hold her. Self-preservation had clouded my judgment, and now the cost was etched in my heart.

The thought that leaving this small town might have changed our fate is a burden I carry, a reminder of the fragility of life. Tears flowed as as I drew my knees to my chest, seeking comfort of my own embrace. I longed for my mother's return, yearning to lose myself in her arms, to be told that despite the should-haves and could-haves, we'd find a way to endure together.