Chapter Twenty Seven

"Is it my fault Adrian?" Munzi asked for the tenth time.

"It's not anyone's fault. Even if the baby we're to be born mature, he would have died soon after. This was beyond our control." Adrian said trying to console his wife.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm being difficult and exhausting. I just feel like blaming someone and I can only find myself at fault. And I just feel like I'm so lost." She explained falling back on the pillows and crying like she had been doing since they lost the baby a week ago. She would wake up cry herself to sleep and repeat the process all day. Not having a very good appetite, she had lost so much weight. Adrian was worried. Even he was grieving. Losing their baby was the hardest thing and lowest point of their marriage.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked lying next to her and holding her.

"I saw his heart beating and then it just stopped. It was out of his chest cavity. I know it's a very rare defect but somehow I feel like I did something wrong. He was so beautiful and his body was so broken. I just feel so bad that he didn't even get to be born and live and do things. The world is so beautiful and he just had to die before seeing it." Munzi complained crying even harder.

"There is no known cause of ectopia cordis. In our case, it was just the babies bones failed to develop. Other than that he had other heart defects."

"But he was so beautiful and small. He didn't deserve to be that broken. He deserved to be born and to grow up and be loved. We didn't even get to love him. That's so unfair." Munzi complained even further.

"There was nothing anyone could do." Adrian concluded.

"Are you telling me that you are okay with this? Why aren't you angry? We just lost our son after finding out about his existence."

"I know right. That was so unfair especially since the doctors let us see his heart beating for only three minutes." Adrian caught on to what Munzi really wanted at the time. She didn't want to be consoled. Just supported and he would give her anything she wanted.

"Why did show us his heart when they knew that it was going to stop so soon?" She cried again. Adrian's shirt was now soaked.

"Because you insisted that you wanted to see him one last time before he was born." He reminded her rubbing her now tangled hair.

"It's just that the doctor's did the ultrasound when I was passed out and they saw his heart and we had to abort or he would die and then the miscarriage started and I just wanted to see him alive one last time and we found his heart beating." She cried even harder for the baby that never got to grow. "I'm so scared Adrian and I'm so sorry."

"You shouldn't be sorry my love. Everything happens for a reason. There is one for this and I'm sure it's a good one. Get some sleep."

"Okay." He kissed her forehead and left. He could tell that she was getting better. Now he just had to make sure that when she came back, she would find a better world. Sure he had been sick but she still got hurt when she found out about his accidental infidelity. She had forgiven and even helped heal him. She was always taking care of others. She also deserved to be taken care of. They hadn't even gotten married entirely for the right reasons. It was the first thing he was going to correct. So with determination, he called a divorce lawyer.

       ********

Meanwhile, in her sleep, Munzi got another dream.

***The fifth dream***

She was a young girl again. Nineteen and going to an interview. She had been helped by a man who said that he helped talent like hers to advance.

"Come with me and hurry. You shouldn't mess this up." The man said and led her to a flight of stairs. The floor on top of the stairs was made of glass. If she were to look down, she would see the floor below her. It was scary to her and she had a fear of heights.

"I'm scared. I don't think I can move. I feel like I'll fall." She said holding on to the railing unable to move.

"Don't be childish. Let's go." The man said taking her hand and leading her to the stage.

"What should I do?" She asked him.

"You should sing." He said handing her the microphone.

"But I don't think I can sing again. I lost my voice." She complained but he had already disappeared to help another person. She took a deep breath and did something she didn't think was possible.

"Hello everyone. I am sorry to disappoint you but I am not going to be singing today. I'm so sorry." She said no to something she didn't want and walked out through another door. In another scene, she was sitting on top of a hill with the head of the talent company.

"I'm sorry I disappointed you." She said looking at her hands.

"You shouldn't be sorry for something that is beyond your control. Everything happens for a reason kid." He said smiling sadly at her.

"Okay. I will go now." She said standing up.

"If you ever need anything I'm here for you."

"Thanks Mr. Ferdinand." She said and ran away.

Running away, she found herself trapped in an elevator. Behind her was Adrian. He was holding her and kissing her neck. Two teenage girls joined them but Adrian still didn't stop.

"I don't even know what he sees in her. I'm much prettier." The taller girl said.

"I know right. You should fight for your man." Her friend advised and went back to her phone.

"You bitch." The tall girl said and jumped on Munzi. Munzi moved and the girl fell a pencil getting into her brain causing her death. Shocked, Munzi ran away and Adrian disappeared. The dead girl's friend, seeing what had happened chased after Munzi accusing her of murdering her friend. They ran for about a mile and found themselves in an enclosed clearing.

"What do you want?" Munzi asked.

"I want to see you dead." The other girl said and jumped on her slicing along Munzi's wrist with a shard of glass. Hissing in pain, Munzi moved and the girl fell when she was trying to attack again.

Adrian came right on time and apprehended the crazy girl.

"Are you okay?" He asked Munzi.

"Yeah." Munzi smiled. "I'm okay."

After the police had taken the attacker away, Munzi Adrian found themselves standing in a forest near a grave.

"I'm pregnant." She said.

"I love you." He kissed her.

   ***End of dream***

When Munzi woke up from the multiple dreams, it was already four in the evening. The sunlight was entering the room through the curtains that were billowing with the gentle breeze. She looked at the dirty bed she was sleeping in and at her hair. She was stinking. Touching her hair, she scrunched her nose and sat up.

"I had a beautiful dream. I wonder where Adrian is. I can't believe I let this happen." She spoke to herself like was her new habit and got out of bed. The dream she just had covered everything that had been happening in her life and probably what was to happen. She was now in the clearing with her wrist slit.

"Adrian is trying to save me. He's fighting my demons. I will let him help me. But first I need to shower and clean this up. My mouth tastes like a stranger's." She said running her tongue over her teeth and rushing to the bathroom as she felt a bout of nausea rising. After an hour of thoroughly cleaning her teeth hair and body, she felt clean enough and got out. She put on a pair of blue jeans and a white T-shirt and started cleaning the room. The bedsheets were dirty beyond repair or so she decided before putting them in a dirt bag. She considered asking the house helps to clean the room but this was her fault. She needed to do it. So she got out and got the cleaning supplies and got the job done.

"Munzi are you awake my love?" Adrian asked knocking on the door.

"What did I do to make him so careful around me?" Munzi asked herself before opening the door.

"You are standing?" Adrian asked removing his hand from the door and using it to support the tray he was holding.

"Surprise." Munzi said smiling.

"How are you awake?" Adrian asked.

"I had a dream and found clarity." She explained opening the door wider and letting him in.

"The place looks nice." Adrian commented finally coming to terms with the fact that his wife was indeed back.

"What's up? Also I'm starving." She said sitting on the bed and digging into the bread and bean soup.

"I have a surprise for you." Adrian said. "I know you hate surprises which is why I made it something you would hate."

"What did you do this time?" Munzi asked and when she raised the spoon, there was a ring in the soup.