Side Story

Side Story (Semi-Canon): Oinky the Goldsmith

Ender didn't expect pigs to be intelligent. Sure, the Nether was full of surprises, but this? A pig with a shop? That was a first.

It was nothing more than a crude building made of random blocks, his temporary storage, hastily thrown together when he first entered the Nether. It was meant to hold items bartered from Piglins, who, for some reason that day, had been unusually generous.

But now, standing in front of the ramshackle structure, Ender noticed a hand-painted sign:

"We Don't Scam!"

Ender raised an eyebrow, muttering sarcastically under his breath, "Yeah, trading gravel for gold isn't a scam at all."

Still, his curiosity got the better of him, and he approached. Two burly Piglin guards stood at the entrance, both adorned in patchwork armor that seemed more decorative than functional. They grunted a greeting.

Ender shook his head grasping the reason still he couldn't help but think. "They look more like my guards than the shopkeeper's"

Every sentient being in the Nether was inherently loyal to him, that was a resource worth exploiting, especially Piglins.

Pushing the thought aside, he entered the shop. The interior was as haphazard as the exterior, filled with piles of random goodies, glowstone dust, quartz, crying obsidian, and, inexplicably, a mound of gravel stacked like it was the most valuable treasure in existence.

Behind the counter stood the "shopkeeper", a fat Piglin with a golden chain around his neck. The chain had the word "Oink!" engraved in bold, gaudy letters. This pig wasn't just a merchant; he was dripping in wealth. Rings on every finger, golden bangles around his stubby legs, and a crown made of mismatched gold blocks teetering on his head. He looked more like a self-proclaimed king than a businessman; oddly, these looked as if some rats were eating it day by day.

The pig grunted in acknowledgment as Ender entered and then, in surprisingly fluent speech, addressed him; fortunately for him, he was able to understand thanks to All-Speak.

"Lord! Welcome to Oinky's Emporium. Finest deals in all the Nether! There is an exclusive deal of 20 quartz for just 10 gold ingots?"

Ender blinked. His brain short-circuited. Did I just hear that right?

"The audacity," Ender muttered, shaking his head. "This isn't some random Minecraft mechanism, pig. You're supposed to have logic, do you think 10 gold ingots are worth 20 quartz?"

Oinky, oblivious to the insult, puffed out his chest. "Quartz is rare, Lord! Much stronger than gold! Perfect for decorating your... er... mighty fortress!"

"Quartz is everywhere," Ender said flatly, gesturing to the Nether landscape visible through the crude windows which were nothing more than missing blocks. "I could mine 20 quartz faster than you can grunt, and what do you do with gold? It is not like you can craft golden apples to eat them."

The humanoid pig looked as if Ender had questioned his existence, "Lord, Oinky said, his voice taking on a conspiratorial tone, "gold is... delicious."

Ender blinked again. "...What?"

Oinky leaned forward, licking his lips. "Gold. Is. Delicious. Why else would anyone want it? It's the tastiest thing in existence. Crunchy, shiny, perfect texture. And the aftertaste? Divine."

Ender stared at him, incredulous. "You're telling me you, piglins, like gold because it tastes good?"

Oinky nodded enthusiastically, his jewelry and fat jiggling with every movement. "Of course, Lord! Isn't that why you use it with apples?"

Ender rubbed his temples. "No. That's not why.—"

"Oink! No need to lie Lord!" Oinky interrupted, waving a hoof dismissively. "The true value of gold is in its flavor; I totally understand why you want it, lord." He made an understanding face.

Ender took a deep breath, resisting the urge to lecture this overgrown pig about economics. He was here just to take a look. He already had so much gold that he could recreate Asgard Palace from the movies more than ten times, and there would be probably still a lot left.

"So... if I gave you, say, a stack of gold, you'd trade me, what, a few glowstone blocks?"

Oinky tilted his head, considering his point-like eyes widened. "Hmm. A stack, you say? That's... that's a feast! For that, I'd part with—" He glanced at the gravel pile like it was a family heirloom. "—two stacks of gravel. Maybe three."

Ender stared at him in stunned silence. "Gravel."

"Yes, Lord. Gravel! Very useful for paths. And falling on things!" Oinky said, nodding earnestly.

Ender sighed, running a hand down his face. "Pig, you're lucky I am not a big fan of meat."

"Thank you, Lord!" Oinky said, bowing(at least he tried) dramatically, his jewelry clinking like a poorly-tuned wind chime.

Ender left the shop shaking his head, muttering to himself about pigs and their ridiculous ideas of value. Still, he couldn't help but smirk at the idea of the pig setting up a shop.

~~~~~

Man I am really sorry, the exams are over and I thought I would be free but no but I will try to upload since tomorrow is Sunday, I am researching more about Aether mod that place will be perfect for replacement of Heaven 👍.

Falling from that place literally puts into 'mortal' world (Overworld).

I am extremely sorry guys.

Thanks for your understanding, support and obviously power stones. 😅