Chapter 191: No Grief No Joy; White Cloth Brings Calamity to this World

Xie Lian couldn't tell if he was awake or asleep.

If he said he was awake, then he neither sensed nor reacted to anything of the outside world, having no memories of anything; if he said he was asleep, his eyes had been open the entire time.

By the time he came to, White No-Face had already strapped that black sword on his waist, like an elder rewarding a child, "This is my gift to you."

Then, he patted the hilt, and said gently, his voice thick with deeper meaning, "It will certainly be much sharper than all the other ones you've once collected from Jun Wu."

Xie Lian let him hang that sword as he willed, neither speaking nor retaliating, since, any retaliation would be pointless.

In that state, he donned a new set of robes, and strapped with a new sacred sword, he dragged the body that felt like it was reborn, and walked out of the Temple of the Crown Prince towards the darkness. White No-Face then called after him from behind, "Wait."

Xie Lian paused in his step. White No-Face came to his side soundlessly, and placed a white silk band in his hands, "You forgot this."

It was that white silk band he had used to cover his face at first, then later was used to bind him.

Xie Lian wobbled down the mountain by himself.

It was already day, the sun had come out, but when the sun was shining down on him, Xie Lian didn't feel warm at all.

On his way down the mountain, he saw a little stream, plip plop, clear and lively. He walked to the streamside, and the waters reflected his appearance. Xie Lian stared at that pale face.

The face was smooth and white as chalk without a single cut. The same with the neck, then, the chest, and all of his abdomen, they were all the same. The more he looked the more he couldn't look any longer, and he put his head down, cupping stream waters in his hands, washing his face and drinking a few mouthfuls. He drank and drank and suddenly noticed there was something in the upstream.

He looked up slowly, and saw not far in the distance, on the shores of the upstream, next to a giant boulder, was a slumped corpse. Judging by his attire, it was that buff street performer.

That man didn't descend the mountain and died on the road instead. Upon the giant boulder was a particularly obvious pool of blood, so it appeared he smashed himself against it out of either pain or fear, and died. The corpse was already rotten, half of it soaked in the water, emitting waves of foul stench, unmoving, but the several deformed little faces growing on that half rotten face were still squirming.

Xie Lian knelt by the stream and puked his guts out for over an hour, heaving until there was blood.

After descending the mountain, he walked for a long time, strolling down the main streets aimlessly without a destination in mind. Suddenly, a hand gripped his shoulder and yanked him into an alley. Xie Lian looked around and before he even saw the other's face, he saw an incoming fist, "WHERE DID YOU RUN OFF TO THESE PAST FEW DAYS???"

Behind the fist was Feng Xin's furious face, and by the time Xie Lian saw, he was already knocked down by the punch.

Feng Xin hadn't expected that he'd be knocked down so easily, and he looked at his own fist, then at Xie Lian who was on the ground, confused. Before he went to help him up, Xie Lian had already crawled up himself. Feng Xin's face changed but in the end he still wasn't over his temper and added, "You've got such a temper! Dropping only a word before running away, disappearing for two months! Do you know just how worried His Majesties have been??"

Xie Lian wiped away the splattered nosebleed from his face, "I'm sorry."

Seeing that he was making things worse with the wiping, Feng Xin heaved a heavy sigh, "Your Highness! Forget it with the apology, it's meaningless between us, but you... just what happened to you? Can't you tell me?" He noticed that black sword hanging on Xie Lian's waist and asked, "And where did you get that sword from?"

Xie Lian had wanted to tell. But, when he remembered the quarrel between him and Feng Xin when he left, and the doubtful expression on Feng Xin's face at the time, plus that experience he never wanted to think about again, he only repeated, "I'm sorry."

The two returned to the hiding place from before, and when the queen saw Xie Lian she hugged him and wept. The king looked as if he aged quite a bit again; before it was finding white hairs in black, now it's to find black strands among all the white. However, he wasn't enraged for some reason, and only spoke a few words before going silent. The three of them were probably afraid that if Xie Lian was provoked again he'd run away for another half a month, so their words and gestures around him were all very careful.

"Feng Xin."

After a simple and coarse meal, Xie Lian untied the black sword on his waist and passed it over, "Take this sword. Pawn it."

Feng Xin noticed the hand holding the sword was trembling but couldn't guess why, "Why do you want me to pawn it?"

"Didn't you ask for money before?" Xie Lian said.

Hearing this, there was suddenly a flash of hurt on Feng Xin's face, and soon after, he shook his head, "I don't need it anymore."

Xie Lian didn't speak another word. He tossed the black sword on the side and stopped caring for it, then he flopped over and fell asleep.

This time, when he returned, Xie Lian acted as if nothing had happened, hoping that everything would return to normal as soon as possible, that he could return to his original state. Soon, he and Feng Xin went out to perform on the streets.

At first Feng Xin was still worried, "Forget it, just rest for a couple more days."

"I've already rested for almost two months." Xie Lian said "If those street performers keep coming to stir up trouble, then it'd be easier to deal with it with two people."

However, Feng Xin said, "They've stopped coming a long time ago."

It wasn't because that buff street performer from before had died and there was no one to lead, but because Feng Xin had settled here for a long time now. When he first arrived, everyone thought he was a novelty, but after time passed, that novelty had also faded away, and now watching him was no different than watching the other local buskers. Compared to before, Feng Xin lost his competitive edge. Now that he wasn't a threat, the other street performers stopped looking for trouble, since everyone made about the same amount of money, it was all the same.

Thus, no matter how hard Feng Xin shot his arrows, no matter how expert his skills, the audience that came to watch and rewarded his efforts were less than half of before. In fact, it was less than ten percent of before. After working for over half the day, Feng Xin was exhausted and sweating profusely, sitting down on the side.

"Let me go up." Xie Lian said.

"Nah, don't worry about it." Feng Xin replied.

However, Xie Lian didn't bother listening to him and went up. Seeing that the faces changed, the passersby all became interested again, "And what special skills do you have, little buddy?"

Xie Lian didn't respond. He picked up a branch and started striking out a set of art of the sword. Between the shrieking sounds of the blows, the point was sharp with the aura of the sword, and thus, there were a few who gave face and cheered. Feng Xin watched from the side, his expression complicated, and after watching for a bit he turned his head away.

Xie Lian didn't feel shame at all, nor did he feel any burden in his heart, and only continued to swing the sword seriously. Just then, there was suddenly someone in the crowd who yelled, "IT'S BORING IT'S BORING! WHAT A PATHETIC ACT! Who wants to watch you poke a chicken blind with a tree branch?"

Feng Xin immediately jumped to his feet and shouted, "YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH!"

Xie Lian faltered in his movements and gazed over. Within the crowd was a man who was munching on a melon and spitting seeds, obviously there to watch a showdown. He called to Feng Xin, "This ancestor's here to watch a street performance! I'll say whatever I wanna say, you're here to earn our reward, and you dare to mind us, the ones doing the rewarding? Change to a real sword! Use a real sword and this grandmaster will consider whether to grant you some seeds!"

The moment he yelled out, the others followed suit. Feng Xin was outraged and was just about to act out when suddenly, a white shadow flashed by, and Xie Lian was already standing next to that man, grabbed him, and threw him high into the air.

He exhibited such an amazing strength, and that man was thrown meters away, the melon rinds tumbling all over the ground, and the crowd were all mouths wide open with shock. That man landed heavily with a thud, bleeding from his orifices, letting out a loud and pathetic cry. However, Xie Lian wasn't done, and he went up to seize him one more, speaking plainly and emotionlessly, "There's no real swords, but I can really take your life, do you want to see?"

The audience all broke away and fled in terror, "SOMEBODY! HELP! MURDER!"

Feng Xin was even more shocked, "Your Highness!!!"

Xie Lian pretended not to hear, and was ready to throw that idle man away for another several meters and have him fall wherever, but Feng Xin went up and held him down, even forgetting to hide his identity as he roared, "YOUR HIGHNESS!!! WAKE UP! YOU'RE GONNA KILL THIS MAN!!!"

Both Xie Lian's eyes were burning with black flames, and he smacked away that hand, and pressed that man down on the ground. That idle man passed out and stopped moving. Feng Xin rushed up and was just about to check for his breath when he heard at the end of the street someone yelling sharply, "IT'S THEM! OVER THERE!"

This was bad! The YongAn soldiers had come!

Feng Xin bolted instantly, but when he saw Xie Lian was still standing there, glaring at those YongAn soldiers, as if the was ready to fight them, Feng Xin turned around back and pulled at him, "What are you still standing there for? RUN!"

The two hid and went for cover the entire way before they were able to escape, and finally returned to that little cottage where they hid. The moment they entered the door, before the queen's face, Feng Xin started yelling, "HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT??"

Feng Xin of the past would absolutely never dare to be so unruly before the two Majesties, but after having grinded for so long, there were a lot of things that had already changed. Xie Lian turned to the queen, "Go to your room."

"My son, just what..." The queen started and Xie Lian cried, "GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM!"

The queen didn't dare to ask anymore and went back to the room. Xie Lian then turned to Feng Xin, "What did I do?"

"You were going to kill that man!" Feng Xin said angrily.

Xie Lian rebuked, "He didn't die. And so what if he dies?"

"..."

Feng Xin was dumbfounded, "What did you say? What do you mean "so what if he dies"?"

"That pleb was asking for it." Xie Lian said, "Since he asked for it, I gave it to him. Was I wrong?"

As if he was stunned by Xie Lian's vocabulary, it was a good moment before Feng Xin said, "He... was causing trouble, but you didn't need to kill him? Smack him around and let it go, he didn't deserve to die over some petty words?"

Xie Lian cut him off, "Of course he did. He dare say it, then he'd need to pay the price."

"..."

Feng Xin was filled with disbelief, "How could you say something like that?"

"Like what?" Xie Lian asked.

"You wouldn't have used the word 'pleb' before in the past. You've never said it before." Feng Xin said.

"What are you trying to say?" Xie Lian said, "It's not like I'm a god, can't I be angry? Can't I hate?"

Feng Xin was stumped, then a moment later, he arduously squeezed out a few words, "That's not what I meant, but no matter what, you didn't need to..."

Xie Lian didn't want to listen anymore and stopped talking to him, going into his own room while slamming the door heavily.

The moment the door was shut, he screamed and threw himself onto the bed.

He was lying to himself and lying to others! All nothing but deceit!

No matter what, it was impossible to pretend nothing had ever happened, and it was impossible to return to before!!!

That evening, someone knocked on his door, and Xie Lian thought it was Feng Xin so he ignored it. A moment later, the queen's voice sounded from the other side, "My son, it's mother. Let mother come in and take a look at you, alright?"

Xie Lian had just wanted to lie there without moving, but after lying there for a brief moment, he still got up and opened the door, asking tiredly, "What?"

The queen was holding a plate standing at the door, "My son, you haven't eaten yet, right?"

Xie Lian watched her, and endured for a long time before he forcefully swallowed down the words 'Even if I haven't eaten I don't want to eat what you've made' that were already rolling up his throat. He then moved aside to allow his mother in, and the queen placed the plate on the table, "Look."

Xie Lian looked, and got so angry he wanted to laugh, "What's that?"

The queen said as if she was offering treasure, "This is 'Lovebirds Upon a Branch Meatballs', and this is 'Blissful Full Moon Stew'..."

Those "Lovebirds" looked like death, and that "Blissful Full Moon" was full of craters, and Xie Lian had to interrupt her, "Why did you name these things?"

"Don't dishes all have names?" The queen said.

"That's for imperial dining in the palace." Xie Lian said, "Ordinary folks don't give names to dishes."

Imperial dining. Palace. Ordinary folks. The queen paused for a while then smiled, "Well no one said you have to be dining imperially in order to give dishes names, so just take this as a wish for good fortune." Then she passed the chopsticks over. Xie Lian however, didn't smile nor did he touch the chopsticks.

The queen smiled and sat for a while, then her smile gradually fell, "My son."

"What," Xie Lian was brusque.

"Why are you fighting with Feng Xin again?" The queen asked.

Xie Lian didn't want to explain at all, and he didn't have the energy to explain either, "You two just stay inside your room and relax. There's no need to mind these things."

The queen hesitated for a moment, "Mother knows this probably shouldn't be said, but, these past many days that you've been gone, it's been that child Feng Xin who had been looking after us..."

"Mother, what are you trying to say?" Xie Lian demanded.

The queen quickly said, "My son, don't be angry, I'm not trying to blame you. I'm really not, I know you're having a hard time too. I'm only saying, that child Feng Xin had always followed us, followed you, and it's not easy. I could sense that it's not that he didn't want to go, but having stayed until today was all because he still remembers the affections between you two..."

Having listened to this point, Xie Lian jumped to his feet, "WHO'S HAD IT EASY? HAS IT BEEN EASY FOR ME?? MOTHER, CAN YOU PLEASE STOP ASKING QUESTIONS?? CAN YOU PLEASE NOT INVOLVE YOURSELVES IN THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND???"

Seeing that he was running out the door, the queen started panicking, and got up to chase after him, "My son, where are you going? I'll stop talking, mother won't say anything anymore! Come back!"

Xie Lian exclaimed sharply, "I know! Everyone's having a hard time, but don't worry! I'LL GO MAKE THINGS EASIER FOR EVERYONE!!"

The queen couldn't keep up with him, and it didn't take long before she was left behind. It wasn't until evening before Xie Lian returned with a few sacks in hand. When he opened the door, no one had gone to bed and they were all up waiting for him, their faces sullen. Xie Lian shut the door with a backhand and questioned, "What is it?"

The king seemed to have already lectured the queen, and the rims of her eyes were red. When she saw Xie Lian had returned, she let out a long sigh of relief and forced a happy smile, "My son, you've come back! I won't ever ask you anything unnecessary from now on, don't just leave so suddenly, if there's anything, mother will definitely listen to you..."

Everyone was scared. Scared that if he just turned around and left, he'd go missing for another two months. However, Xie Lian said, "You all think too much, I wasn't going to leave. Just go and rest."

He waited until the king and the queen both entered their room, and after a moment of silence, Feng Xin said, "Even if I asked where you went you wouldn't tell me, right?"

Xie Lian didn't speak, and tossed those sacks on the ground, making crisp clinking sounds as they landed. "What's this?" Feng Xin asked.

Xie Lian opened the sacks and turned them over, and from within came tumbling a large pile of gold and silver wares, almost brightening the entire house. Feng Xin instantly stood up, "You... Where did those things come from??"

Xie Lian didn't bother to look up, and only sat on the ground and counted as he replied, "There's no need to be like that. I only paid a visit to a big household in the city, that's all. Relax, no one saw."

"YOU!..." Feng Xin's eyes were round and bulging.

He remembered that the king and queen were in the next room and lowered his voice, "You stole?!"