Chapter 19.1 : No Grief No Joy; White Cloth Brings Calamity to this World

"You don't need to look at me like that." Xie Lian said, "Everyone's having a hard time. Things will be easier with this."

"You still shouldn't have stolen??" Feng Xin exclaimed, "We can just busk!"

"And how much do we earn from killing ourselves performing on the streets?" Xie Lian said.

Feng Xin staggered a couple steps back, and it was the first time Xie Lian saw him looking like he was going to faint.

Feng Xin finally steadied himself, made sure that he didn't hear wrong, and mumbled, "How did you become this way?"

Xie Lian looked up and asked back, "What way?"

Feng Xin was mad, "I don't want to lecture you, but just look at yourself, at what you've become! I won't ask you about the robbery anymore, but how did things get worse??"

Xie Lian snorted, "I knew it."

"Knew what?" Feng Xin asked.

Xie Lian rose to his feet, "I knew you kept that robbery thing on your mind. You wanted to ask me, but you didn't have the heart, right? You've imagined thousands of scenarios in your head, right? Don't think on it anymore. I'll tell you."

Step by step, he came pressing to Feng Xin, "It's true. I robbed."

Feng Xin was forced back a step, "You...." Then he advanced a step and said with quiet anger, "Then what are we passing our days so hard for? If you were willing to do those things, then we could've done it already, why suffer until today?? Are you aware of what you're giving up?? Are you still the Royal Highness from the past??"

"That's right, why have we suffered until today?" Xie Lian said.

Feng Xin was taken aback, and Xie Lian continued, "What was the me in the past Doesn't talk back while being cursed at? Doesn't fight back while being beaten? Overestimating myself? Save the common people? What is that? Isn't that a dumbass? Do you think a dumbass is better? Do you think that's the me I should be? If I wasn't, are you going to be very shocked?"

Feng Xin was stunned, "Are you crazy? Why do you have to say it like that?"

"You're wrong. I'm not crazy." Xie Lian said, "I've just suddenly woken up. Then, I discovered it was the past me who was crazy."

"..."

Feng Xin mumbled, "Why are you like this? When did you become this way? I, I really don't know, I'm, then why have I followed you all this time..."

"Then stop following." Xie Lian said.

Feng Xin hadn't wrapped his head around it and blurted, "What?"

"I said, don't follow me anymore." Xie Lian repeated.

Then, he slammed the door.

Four hours later, there were finally some creaking movements outside the room, and low talking voices.

It seemed Feng Xin was bidding farewell to his father and mother. Feng Xin's voice was extremely low, the queen's voice was choked with sobs, and the king didn't say much, but there was a lot of coughing. A moment later, the door opened, then the door closed, and Feng Xin's voice vanished, the sound of his footsteps going faraway.

Feng Xin had left.

Xie Lian was still shut in the room, emotionless and expressionless, and a moment later, he closed his eyes.

He'd finally left.

Ever since Mu Qing had left, Xie Lian had always been terrified of this: that one day, Feng Xin would also leave.

Because he was too scared, today, Xie Lian could no longer endure the torment of this fear.

Rather than dragging it out, like sharpening a knife to slowly grind away all the kindness and friendship until there was nothing left, until finally both hated the sight of each other and held grudges, it was better that things exploded sooner.

Before Feng Xin went, he was afraid. Now that Feng Xin had gone, he wasn't scared any longer.

But, even though he wasn't afraid anymore, he was in deeper agony.

Originally, Xie Lian had held a one in a million bit of hope at the bottom of his heart, hoping that even if he was to admit he had done things he shouldn't have, even if he had become the worst of himself like this, Feng Xin would still stay. After all, ever since that year he was fourteen, when Feng Xin was selected to be his bodyguard, the two had never left each other's sides. While they were master and servant, they were more so friends. Outside of him who was crown prince, Feng Xin didn't care for anyone else. At most maybe the king and the queen.

But, Feng Xin really left.

Xie Lian had already guessed this to be the end, but he also couldn't stand this end either, and he couldn't take it for the moment.

Just then, outside the silent room came the queen's voice, "My son, I'm so sorry."

"..."

Xie Lian crawled up from his bed and opened the door, went out, and said tiredly, "It's none of your business."

The king and queen were both sitting at that old and creaky table. The queen said, "Father and mother dragged you down, and made you do bad things for our sakes, and even made you and Feng Xin argue."

Xie Lian forced a smile, "What bad things? Aren't tales and legends all full of stories of stealing from the rich to help the poor? Since Feng Xin's gone, he's gone, it's pretty good actually. With him gone, things will be more relaxed. Relaxed on both sides. You two just focus on healing. Tomorrow we can go buy the best medicine."

However, the king glared at him, "I won't use that money."

The queen elbowed him quietly. Xie Lian demanded, "Then what do you want?"

The king coughed a few more times, "You... go chase after Feng Xin and bring him back. I don't want this kind of money."

Although the queen was elbowing him, she also agreed, "Yea, why don't you go chase after Feng Xin. He's your most loyal servant, and your best friend..."

"There is no more loyal servant." Xie Lian said, "Since there's money, just use it, don't ask anything else. I told you, there are some things you don't understand."

After a long silence, in the end, the queen said, "I'm so sorry, my son. Mom and dad can see, you have been struggling very hard on your own, but mom and dad are only mortals, we can't help you at all, and need your care too."

Xie Lian had no more energy to keep talking, and placated them with empty words of comfort before sending them back to their rooms. In order to help himself clear his mind, Xie Lian unwrapped the bandages and stripped all of his clothes, took a rough bath, then passed out. He passed out so hard that when he woke the next day, he wondered blearily, "How come Feng Xin didn't wake me?"

It was a good moment before he remembered that Feng Xin had left.

Xie Lian flipped over and sat up, fell in a daze, and remembered another thing.

Even if Feng Xin had left, what about his father and mother? How come his father and mother didn't come to rouse him either?

Usually at this time, he would've heard the sound of the king coughing. That sound had never ceased, so why was it so quiet today?

For some reason, Xie Lian suddenly felt uneasy. He put on his clothes and got out of bed, grabbed for his silk band but found it wasn't there, then he pushed open the door to the room next door, "Mother, have you seen my..."

The moment he pushed open the door, both his pupils instantly shrank to two very small dots.

He found his white silk band.

That white silk band was hung on the beam, and it also dangled two unmoving figures of seniors, their bodies long since stiffened.

It was his father and mother.

Xie Lian wondered perhaps he was still in a dream and he swayed, reaching out to support himself against the wall, but he was swaying so much he didn't catch on properly, so he slipped down along the wall instead.

He sat on the ground, his hands covering his face, and a sudden abrupt difficulty in breathing choked him. He cried and laughed, laughed and cried, "I, I, I, I..."

He rambled and mumbled to no one, then he added, "It wasn't, no. I, wait, I, you can't, I..."

Finally, not even complete words could come out, and he turned around and screamed, smashing his own head against the wall over and over.

He should've known. His father was such a conservative and traditional king, and his mother was the mother who couldn't bear the sight of her loved ones suffering, especially since it was suffering for their sakes. Both of them were nobility who were raised in prestige; that they could hang on all this way thus far was already a miracle.

Xie Lian smacked his head against the wall for over a hundred times and mumbled, "Feng Xin, my father and mother are gone."

No one was listening.

Only then did he realize he needed to bring his parents' corpses down. After lowering them, Xie Lian acted like he had nothing left to do and walked around the house. He saw upon the table were a few plates of horrid looking dishes that were now cold, and they were what he made the queen take away without a single bite the night before. Now, he pulled them over absent-mindedly, and ate everything, not daring to leave behind a single leaf, afraid to miss a single grain of rice. After he ate he started puking.

All of a sudden, Xie Lian grabbed that white silk band and threw it over the beam, and put his own neck through the knot.

Waves of suffocation assaulted him, yet, he remained clear-minded. Even when his eyes were filled with blood, his collar bones cracking, he still remained conscious. Then, for some reason, as he hung there, that white silk band suddenly loosened on its own. Xie Lian fell heavily to the ground, and in the midst of dizziness, he found that white silk band actually started moving by itself without any breeze Like it was a venomous snake, it started coiling.

This thing had conceived its own spirit!

With the injection of spiritual powers, having been dyed with Xie Lian's blood, and even having hung two royals to death – if Xie Lian could die then it'd be three – such a white silk band, carrying such a deep resentment and evil, it'd be more strange if it didn't turn into a spirit.

The little spirit who had only just arrived in this world didn't understand how it was born from a despairing situation at all, and happily drifted over to the one who gave itself a soul, like it was hoping for an intimate gesture. However, Xie Lian had no eyes for it. He clutched his head and roared, "SOMEBODY!!! SOMEBODY COME KILL ME!!!"

He could only pray that someone would come right that second to take his life, and help him break free from this endless pain and torture!

Just then, from the far distance, came the roaring sound of gongs and drums. Xie Lian panted harshly, his eyes bloodshot, and he wondered inwardly, 'Who? What is that?'

Some kind of power forced him to his feet and he stumbled out to look. He walked for a long time before he finally realized that was the sound of celebrating the newly built Imperial Palace after YongAn was established as a new kingdom and the royal capital had moved.

Even the heavens were celebrating! All the once citizens of XianLe were now cheering for YongAn. On the main street, everyone's faces bore such bright smiles; so familiar. Xie Lian remembered. This was also how the people at the XianLe imperial capital cheered during the ShangYuan Heavenly Ceremonial Procession.

Xie Lian staggered back and sat listlessly on the ground.

Why must he witness the laughter and cheers of 'YongAn people' just when the corpses of the king and queen of XianLe laid next to his feet?

Xie Lian buried his face in his hands, crying and laughing, ha ha ha ha, sob sob sob sob.

A moment later, he giggled, "You won't get off so easily."

A voice flashed in his mind: the human face disease, it's resentment... the method to create the human face disease, is...

A savage light flashed in his eyes, and he suddenly dropped his voice, "I won't let any of you off so easily."

The expression on his face was like crying but laughing, like joy and sadness mixed together, and he slowly rose to his feet alongside the wall, "YongAn, Forever Peace*? Dream on. Dream on forever! I, curse all of you. I CURSE ALL OF YOU!!! I WANT YOU ALL TO DIE, PERISH COMPLETELY!! HAHA, HAHA, HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

He laughed and laughed, and Xie Lian rushed out like a whirlwind, and when he passed that mirror, he suddenly paused and whipped his head around.

The him inside the mirror had already changed completely.

What he was wearing wasn't that white cultivator robes that had been worn from wash, but a snow white funeral garb with expansive sleeves. His face was no longer his face, but a half crying, half smiling, cry-smiling mask!

If this was the Xie Lian from before, when he saw himself like this in the mirror he would've screamed in horror. However, the him now wasn't scared at all. He laughed maniacally as if he saw nothing, and he broke through the door while stumbling, dashing out.

The old imperial capital of Xian Le was now nothing more than a field of ruined wreckage.

Nearby the wreckage, there were still some residents who fortunately survived, and refugees who had nowhere else to go. Although ever since the human face disease erupted and the entire imperial city had fallen, and this once glamourous capital had frequent haunting breezes, chilling to the bone, today, it seemed to be especially chilling. A few of the disheveled beggars all disappeared, watching the skies as they fled. People all sensed that something ominous was going to happen, so they best not linger in the streets.

In front of the broken imperial city gates was the battlefield. Usually, not many dared visit. Now, there was only an old cultivator, running here, jumping there, catching some lost wandering spirits, stuffing them into his sack once they're caught, preparing to tie them into lanterns. As he ran around, he suddenly discovered that at the edge of the battlefield, a strange white clothed silhouette had appeared.

It truly was strange, truly peculiar. He was donned in a funeral garb, white robes, expansive sleeves, a band of white silk tied to a sleeve, floating along with the wind like it was alive. He was wearing a tragically pale mask, half of it crying, half of it smiling.

That old cultivator shuddered violently, and before he knew why, he was fleeing, his legs had already carried him out of the battlefield. Before his panic and dread had calmed, he stopped in his step and looked back.

That white clothed man didn't speak a single word, and was strolling over the battlefield. Chilling wind whipped around, and with every step, he trampled the bones of those who died in war.

Countless spirits of the dead were struggling and wailing on this soil, even the air was black from resentment.

That white clothed man asked coldly, "Do you hate?"

The dead souls wailed and cried. That white clothed man took another few steps, "The people you swore to protect and die for have now become the citizens of the new kingdom. Do you hate?"

The wails of dead souls now had shrieking mixed in.

That white clothed man said slowly, "They've forgotten you who have died on the battlefield, forgotten your sacrifices, and are cheering for those who robbed away your lives. Do you hate?"

Amidst that shrieking came howling and roaring.

That white clothed man called out sharply, "What's the use in screaming? Answer me, DO YOU HATE??"

Above in the air over the entire battlefield came the echoing of innumerous voices of resentment and agony.

"I HATE..."

"I HATE..."

"KILL... I WANT TO KILL THEM!!!"

That white clothed man opened his arms towards them and reached out both his hands, "Come to my side."

He enunciated each word, "I promise, the people of YongAn shall never know peace!"

The shrieking, howling, roaring, crying, shook the ground and crashed the heavens. The dead souls of the XianLe soldiers, mingled with the deceased of those who died from the human face disease, answered. And, in that sky covered in black mist, they took shape!

The old cultivator who had witnessed the whole thing from afar was already terrified, "This... This is...!!!"

In an instant, only three words appeared in his mind.

White Clothed Calamity!

Just then, that white clothed man heard the voice of a young man from behind him, "Your Highness..."

He looked around. Since who knows when, a black clad youth was already standing behind his person, and was bowing down before him, bending one knee to the ground.

———

●The name "YongAn" means "Forever Peace"