Small Talk with a Cosmic Entity

I gave a tired sigh as I gazed at my surroundings before turning to Jean.

"Alright, I'll bite. Where the hell are we?" I asked her.

"How should I know?" She asked back in disbelief.

"Well, we're inside your mind right now so..." I said, waving my hand at all the infinite void of white nothingness we found ourselves in.

"How are we...? Why are you saying that like it's a normal thing?" Jean asked in disbelief.

I chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of my neck. "Um, Jean... the thing is, I'm kinda a mutant..." I admitted.

Jean looked at me with a strange look on her face. "Uh, yeah? Didn't you say that I was one too? I thought our genes were inactive." She stated.

"In fairness, I only said I was a mutant and never said mine was inactive like yours," I added.

Jean was slightly taken aback by this ad and tried to reminisce about that scene. I know this because our surroundings changed completely to the room where I broke the news to her and Eve.

<You mean we're mutants?> Jean asked, a slight echo to show this scene was in the past.

<Yes, but your mutant genes are inactive.> I replied

<Will they just activate all on their own then?> Eve asked me.

<I doubt it will awaken on its own. Maybe in a life-or-death situation, but since both of you are past the age where your powers would've manifested if they were going to do so due to puberty> I answered.

<Huh? What does this mean for us then?> Jean asked.

<Nothing, just wanted you, girls, to know.> I replied and the scene ended, returning our surroundings to a white void.

"H-How'd that happen?" Jean asked.

"As I said before, it's your mind. Try playing around with it." I said, encouraging her to test it out some more.

Jean nodded, a bit hesitantly, and closed her eyes. A moment later, we were surrounded by a cityscape. We were in a slightly retro version of downtown, as though it was pulled straight out of a 40's Noir detective flick. Gaslamps dimly lit the streets and the smell of pizza filled the air. I looked over my shoulder to see an authentic pizza restaurant open for business.

I smiled softly and gave a nod. "Not a bad place." I said.

Jean was looking around the area in shock. "Did I-"

"Yup, congrats, Jean, you've mastered manipulating the mindscape," I said, walking over to her and giving her a headpat.

Jean quickly brushed off my hand with a slight blush. "I told you not to do that, it makes me feel like a dog."

I bent down next to her and whispered into her ear. "And I know you like being treated like one..."

Jean shivered for a moment blushing hard. I'd noticed her slightly masochistic nature a while ago, but since I wasn't sure if what I felt for her was just teenage hormones and pinning for a pretty face before or actual love, I never acted on it.

One of the main drawbacks of having a population where women drastically outnumbered men was that guys could afford to be picky. It was seen as extremely misogynistic in the modern world, however, there was a real bias against non-virgins when guys picked their harems. If I'd slept with her using that knowledge to my advantage, but didn't end up loving Jean and having her in my harem, then there was a real possibility she'd either end up with some sleazeball or just never find love.

'Of course, I could be overthinking things and I'd at least set her up with someone decent if that happened.' I thought.

Jean looked at me and blushed a bit. "You really do like me huh? You knew about that and didn't take advantage of me even though you find me beautiful." She said.

It was my turn to be taken aback now. "Wait, Jean... can you-"

"I can hear you thinking. It's weird, like, I can hear you, and then I can HEAR you, you know? Also, I'd never end up with a sleazeball, you goof!" Jean said, giving me a playful punch on the shoulder. "I'd just have to find another way to make you fall in love with me."

I felt quite exposed to her mind-reading me back and laughed awkwardly with a slight blush on my face. "Ah, well... you know... Hey! Let's get some pizza!" I said, changing the subject and walking into the restaurant behind me.

Jean giggled and walked after me with a pep in her step. The door was open and the shop was empty. Well, that wasn't too much of a surprise. the streets themselves were empty, so I expected it. I walked around the counter and into the back, finding a small old-fashioned refrigerator and popping it open. Inside were two of a number of different modern sodas, all in old-timy glass bottles that matched the era.

"I'll have a coke!" Jean cheered from the counter.

I chuckled and grabbed the drink and the Orange Soda. By the time I managed to find my way back to the front, Jean had somehow manifested a large table and pipping hot pizza. I shook my head.

"I take it you were hungry," I said, giving Jena the Cola and popping the lid off my Orange Soda using the counter.

"I can't help it! I've been craving pizza since we got here." She said as she slowly pulled out a slice, the goopy cheese giving a satisfying stretchy look before being served onto her plate.

'Yeah, that's definitely the Pizza Luke was talking about earlier.' I thought.

"Luke? Are we at his house in the real world?" She asked.

"Yup. After you collapsed, I brought you there along with Eve. Luke and the others are out seeing if they can help out." I said taking a swig of the Soda only to immediately spit it out.

"Oh my god! That's disgusting!" I cried.

"I told you it tasted awful!" Jean said.

"Oh, that's right, you hate the stuff, and since this is your mindscape...

"It tastes awful." Jean finished my statement, to which I gave a curt nod.

Jean took a bite of the pizza and sat back in her chair. "I wonder what else I can make?"

"You can make just about anything." A voice echoed from behind me.

I turned around to see a giant flaming Phoenix taking up the majority of the store's front end. I went on guard, ready to throw around my weight as a reality warper if anything happened but was caught completely off-guard by Jean, who called out to it casually.

"Oh! Phio! I was wondering when you'd show up!" Jean explained.

"Wha- Jean, what is this?" I asked.

""Don't ask questions you know the answer to"" Both Jean and the Phoenix said at the same time.

"That's not what I meant and you both know it!" I replied on instinct, only to realize that Jean and the Phoenix were giving off the same aura and presence. Hell, even their voices were almost alike.

"You seem confused, let me explain." The Phoenix started. "I've been with Jean since she was very young. We'd talk I her dreams very often, though the poor girl would forget about me like she does all dreams when she was awake." It explained.

Jean went red. "Hey, your just a figment of my imagination, that's what my therapist always told me, anyway," Jean explained.

"A figment, huh?" Phio amusedly responded before turning back to me. "I've been so weak these last few years, ever since The Isolation. Thankfully, no matter what the world, I can always fall back on my girl, Jean to house me." Phio said.

My eyes narrowed. "So you're staying rent-free in my girlfriend's mind then?" I asked seriously.

"Not exactly... I have been keeping her safe and sound for a while know, waiting for the day when her mutation will awaken and we can finally merge into one being," Phio explained.

I narrowed my eyes at that comment. "I won't be having another Dark Phoenix running lose," I commented.

The Phoenix laughed at this, and her gentle laugh spread waves of power which calmed my nerves, even though I really didn't like the fact it was trying to manipulate me here into trusting it. I'd probably be able to resist it if this was MY mind, but the inside of Jean's mind was a bad place. She was already the source of all psionic energy in this universe, plus she was being amped by a willing host's mind, so she was practically omnipotent here. /1\

"There will be no 'Dark Phoenix', reincarnator. Jean's mind is her own, and the darkest parts of her mind haven't been locked behind walls constructed by that Pedo to corrupt this incarnation of me, like in so many other iterations of the multiverse." Phio announced.

"Pedo?" I asked.

"I suppose you aren't like the other ones then, but I suppose this is a special case. Yes, in many universes, Xavier had fallen in love with my host, Jean. In many of those instances, she was still a child when this happens, so Pedo!" /2\

I conceded that I didn't quite know good old Professor X as well as I should, and considered that I should do a better check-up on him before having him join the organization I'm planning to start. It'd stink to have someone like that on staff, especially since I planned to make him head of the Mutant Relations Division. or Head Psychologist.

I heard a sigh from behind, as I looked back at Jean. "Man, I've never had a dream where people were ignoring me, before." She sighed.

The Phoenix chuckled. "Yes, normally the dreams you have with Damian are more hot and heavy."

Jean went beet-red in an instant. "T-That's not true! Damian, you don't have to listen to her!" She cried. Images of the various dreams she had with me began to pop up around me. Many of them were quiet explicit, and there was even one where she was being walked like an actual dog, naken on a lease, and everything.

"Hmm?" I hummed teasingly, perusing her wet dreams for a moment before turning to look at her with a smug grin, showing off how amused I was. "I see. I see. I was planning on waiting until you were older to pursue more adult matters, but perhaps I should make an exception~" I teased.

"Please do, lately you're all she dreams about. I'm not exactly thrilled to see you two having sex all the time, you know." Phio commented, sounding tired.

A pillow materialized in front of her, and Jean grabbed it out of the air and hid herself within it, the world around us began to ripple and the 1940s gaslamp downtown aesthetic we enjoyed earlier vanished, leaving us all in a white void again. I gave the change no more than a passing glance before turning back to the Phoenix who seemed to be just fine.

"Oh? I thought Death was pretty in me though?" I said.

"She just finds you amusing, I'm sure," Phio said, rolling her eyes.

Somehow I knew she was rolling her eyes despite not actually having eyes to roll. I shook off that strange revelation to continue my conversation. "Nah, I'll wait until she's at least 18. Don't want to break any laws." I stated.

Jean whimpered a bit at that, but I ignored her. "Why? Don't get too hung up on stuff like that if it's because of your previous life. You may be more mature because of your memories, but you're still a teenager here."

"It's the principle of the thing," I stated.

"Can't you just age them up with your powers?" It asked.

I was slightly taken aback by this and even Jean got over her embarrassment enough to look at the Phoenix with a questioning gaze.

"What powers?" Jean asked. "Wait, you said you were a mutant earlier right?"

"Oh, yeah. I kind of have the power to warp reality..." I admitted a bit hesitantly. It's not like I planned to hide them, but I just wish I'd be able to reveal them in a more... controlled environment.

"Warp reality? Like... how does that work? I don't get it? Is it magic?" She asked, seemingly interested.

I was taken aback for a second before realizing that, Jean wasn't a turbo nerd from my original world. This world doesn't have comics that feature characters like Mad Jim Jaspers or Thanos with the Infinity Gauntlet. Of course, Jean doesn't really know what 'reality warping' means.

"Thanos? Jim Jaspers?" Jean repeated.

"Ah, its better that I show you in real life later, but for now..." I said, turning to the Phoenix. "How'd you know?"

"You've been suppressing the side effects of Jean's awakenings, right?" Phio asked.

I thought back to the recent headaches she was having around people and facepalmed. Of course, that was a sign of her powers arising and it went right over my head. I felt like a total Duffus.

"Plus, you weren't scared at all by the Abomination and I noticed your infusing of the can with some kind of power earlier. You are also not a telepath, I can tell because I AM the source of all telepath's powers, yet you are able to enter the mindscape without the use of spells and even communicate with me." She commented, pointing out gaps in my 'flawless' facade.

"I didn't think Jean would've noticed," I admitted.

"She didn't, but I've dealt with people like the Beyonder before, and while your power source and wavelength are different, I got the same feeling from it." She admitted.

"Are you two ignoring me again?" Jean asked.

I smirked and gave her a kiss while the Phoenix began to play some of the most risque memories back to her to shut her up, which worked, but she ended up snuggling closer to me to hide away. I held her close and comforted her a bit.

"I like it when you bully me, but not like this." She muttered but I pretended not to hear it.

I gave her one last kiss on her head before looking back up at the Phoenix. So... what is it you ACTUALLY wanted from me." I asked.

.~.~.~.

/1\:

Damian could've actually overpowered the Phoenix here, but he doesn't know the true extent of his powers yet, especially in such a strange scenario, so he assumes he'd just lose if he fought in Jean's mindscape.

/2\:

This is true, Onslaught revealed it to Jean in the main continuity in an attempt to have her join his side. It was creepy and weird and just one of those instances in the X-Men comics that make him look really bad and ruin a character that's supposed to be seen as morally upright for the sake of shock value.