Chapter 21: Fears

Third year Potions was a great start! Honestly!

"Ginevra Weasley… Ah yes. As if celebrities and know-it-alls weren't enough, the school saw it fit to dump an arrogant brat among us. Oh, the joy!" Snape spat out, after the roll call ended on her name. "Tell me, Weasley, does it feel good? Do you feel superior? Does it finally satisfy your overly-inflated ego?"

The Slytherins sniggered.

"Why, yes, it does, professor. Few people have achieved what I have in the entire history of Hogwarts. Is it not obvious that I feel proud?" Her eyes then focused pointedly in the direction of Malfoy and his goons, her voice dripping with contempt, she continued in a low voice, "And when I see the competence of some students, I feel like I can do it again!"

Malfoy's face turned red with anger. His incensed look did not subside even after she lost 20 points for talking back, arrogance, and some other probably justified reason she did not even bother to pay attention too.

"Sir," Malfoy called out, "I'll need help cutting these daisy roots, because of my arm -"

"Weasley, cut up Malfoy's roots for him," Snape said without even looking up.

Ron who was about to protest, when Ginny nudged him and made a 'shushing' gesture at him. She then went ahead and exchanged her cut up roots with Malfoy's uncut ones. The thing about her way of cutting the roots was that it was a little different. In potions, something as simple as the direction, speed and angle of cutting could affect the magical ingredients. Which, when brewing especially difficult potions, could affect the entire potion enormously - possibly causing it to blow up in one's face.

Of course, third-years won't be using such unstable magical ingredient complexes, but it is still possible to slightly change things.

In this case, when brewing the Shrinking Solution, if one cut the daisy roots in a very specific way - slowly, at exactly 83 degrees - one could make the daisy roots do their job as a stabiliser especially well, absorbing most of the Shrivelfigs' violent magical nature. Now, if, according to the potions's book, one added a 'well-shaken' wormwood infusion (which was rather peaceful in nature), the potion will not need the 'cowbane' - which serves as a nature-inversion agent (meaning it turns unstable potions stable and vice versa).

This meant that, when Malfoy poured his potion into his vial -

Boof!

-it would spontaneously evaporate and spray him with a misty version of a Shrinking Potion.

"AAAAGHH!" a shrill, overly childish screech came from a Malfoy whose head and neck had shrunk to a comically small size compared to his normal body.

This scene resulted in a burst of laughter from the Gryffindors.

His head, which now looked like a baby's, had its mouth open in terror, screaming like a banshee, while he cried like a baby.

"Tsk, now that head size is more reminiscent of his mental capability." she whispered to Ron.

"Probably made his blown-up head smaller too." who replied, sniggering.

Snape - the Slytherin's mother duck - came running to check his Malfoy's condition. After confirming that nothing had happened to his precious, he ordered the two goons to take him to the infirmary, as he checked Malfoy's potion. Frowning, he looked towards the cowbane which had obviously been used and scowled.

Snapping his head towards Ginny, he hissed, "Weasley! How dare you mess with your fellow students' ingredients?! 50 points and a week's worth of detention for you!"

"Professor! That punishment is completely unjustified! I have done absolutely nothing to mess with Malfoy's ingredients!" she put on a flabbergasted and indignant expression as if she had nothing to do with it.

Snape sneered, "How, then, did the potion spontaneously evaporate? The only ingredients handled by anyone other than him are only the Shrivelfigs and daisy roots, handled by Potter and you respectively. And Potter possesses neither the skill nor the depth of mind to plan such a thing. That leaves only you, Weasley."

"Maybe he is just incompetent. I already said he was," Ginny just shrugged, "relying on daddy for everything."

In the end, under the protests of Gryffindors and there being no evidence against her, Snape could only let her go. Again.

She lost 50 points in one go, though! Which added up to a total of 70! That had to be a record of some sort!

-x-x-x-

"I'd take that gum out of the keyhole, if I were you, Peeves," Lupin was being rather polite, "Mr. Filch won't be able to get in to his brooms."

Honestly, Ginny felt Peeves' fucking around with Filch was absolutely a great thing. The wrinkly, maniacal squib had given her a really hard time last year during her detentions for the hair-raising fiasco. He should be nowhere near students with his unnatural hatred for children and penchant for corporal punishment. He was as bad as Umbridge according to her, no wonder they got along so well in the fifth instalment.

'Ugh, that doesn't put any nice pictures in my head.' her mind was invaded by disgusting pictures of the toad and the squib in various compromising situations.

Focusing on reality in her attempt to get rid of the images, she saw Lupin use the Projectile Jinx to shove that piece of gum up Peeves' nostril, sending him away cursing nasally.

With that one spell he'd won the classes' attention and respect.

"Now, then," Lupin said as he brought them to an old cupboard.

Boggarts were curious things. Amortal and Non-being. And one of the creatures she considered a potential target for assimilation. Though there really was nothing the Boggart could do that she could not learn herself. The Boggart's only two abilities were shapeshifting and Fear Perception. Now, Shapeshifting is easily copied with human Transfiguration. And Fear Perception was something that could be achieved with Legilimency.

Besides, Fear Perception was a terrifying ability in the hands of a sufficiently intelligent being like a human; with the knowledge of the deepest fears of a person, an individual can gain a psychological hold over others, making them exceptionally susceptible to manipulation and easily coerced into fulfilling their every command. And Ginny did not know if she could resist the temptation of such a hold over someone. She did not dare think that she had the self-control to not use it on her friends.

It was also partially the reason she did not practise legilimency despite having a lot of understanding about it. It was part of her principles: Do not unto others what you don't want done unto you. Plus, she might just lose the ability to trust people without knowing exactly what they were thinking, by relying on it too much. Maybe she could control herself and all of this was merely her paranoia. But… what if? What if her self control was not good enough? What if she really wanted and needed to know? She would use it for something less serious the next time and then use it for something still less serious and so on… and at some point she would be using it casually. It was a slippery slope.

She was able to defend against legilimency, and that was enough.

Focusing back on the class she heard Lupin ask, "... what is a Boggart?"

"Miss Weasley?" Ginny was momentarily stunned when she was asked. While she'd also raised her hand, Hermione's hand speed was something she could not beat, so she was surprised when Lupin asked her and not Hermione. But soon, she regained her wits and gave the bushy-haired girl a triumphant look, and answered, "A Boggart is an Amortal Non-Being that can shape-shift into whatever it perceives as our deepest fear. It can be countered with the Boggart-Banishing spell and laughter."

"A concise and accurate answer." Lupin nodded appreciatively.

He had them practise the Boggart-Banishing Spell before having the practise the spell on the boggart.

"Miss Weasley!"

It was finally her turn, so she stepped up. She was rather curious about what her deepest fear was.

She walked within the range of the boggart - which was currently a spider without legs. The moment she did a strange sensation washed over her. It was vaguely familiar for some reason, but she didn't have time to worry as the boggart started shifting into the form of a plump woman with blazing red hair and a kindly face. However, her hazel eyes that were normally filled with warmth and love, were now utterly cold, unfeeling, unpitying and scornful - as if looking at her as if something completely unwanted trash.

Ginny's face paled. She knew that look. She knew it all too well. There was no lack of it in her first life, after all. It was not something she wanted directed at her ever again.

Yet here it was. And it brought just as much despair as before. Her eyes stung, her throat felt stuffy, hands felt cold and shivery. All her normal confidence was gone, replaced with a feeling of helpless hurt and fear that stuck to her bones like gangrene. Her heart felt like it was being squeezed with a vice-like grip. She couldn't raise her wand arm no matter how she tried to, her entire body was paralysed.

Ginny felt helpless before that heartless gaze. Boggart-Molly's face stretched into a sneer, she opened her mouth as if to say something. And Ginny only watched in despair, dreading the words would break her -

"Ah! The Boggart is almost done for. This is the perfect time to get rid of it. Let me show you how!" Lupin's voice cut through her despair. As he stepped closer, the Boggart shifted again, turning into a white orb hidden in smoke - the Full Moon.

"Riddikulus!" Lupin cast his spell at it, turning it into a punctured balloon that flew across the room, then burst into wisps of smoke. "Forgive me, Miss Weasley, that I did not allow you to have your go at the boggart. I had to show the class how to deal with it."

Lupin turned to her and smiled comfortingly.

"5 points to Gryffindor every person who tackled the Boggart - 15 points to Gryffindor for Miss Weasley's perfect explanation at the start of the class." Ginny stayed rooted to the spot, her relief was so immense that she nearly staggered when she tried to step back, so she decisively remained in her spot.

Lupin clapped. "Now, for homework…" He gave them homework about Boggarts.

"And Miss Weasley, please stay back for a while."

"Y-yes, professor" her voice was hoarse and weak and she hated it.

After all the students were gone, Lupin looked at her in concern as he handed her a bar of chocolate, "Are you alright, Miss Weasley?"

She nodded and then shook her head. Lupin's tall and thin form kneeled down, the level of his eyes just beneath her own, "Miss Weasley, while Boggarts take the form of our deepest fear, they are not based on reality. Just purely our imagination." Lupin's voice was incredibly comforting. "Neville's rendition of Professor Snape for example, is based completely on his own idea of professor Snape. I'd like to believe he's a little less ugly in reality." He pinched his index and thumb together to indicate how small.

A giggle involuntarily escaped her mouth.

Lupin also smiled, "So whatever you saw was only a product of your mind and not reality. Just think of it as a nightmare.

"Besides, your mother would never look at her own children like that. Believe me, I would know: I spent much of my Fourth Year infatuated with her."

Despite knowing what Lupin was doing: distracting her at his own expense; she could not help her curiosity, "Really? Did you date?"

"Unfortunately for me, no. Why would a popular Head Girl and valedictorian have eyes for the scrawny, malnourished-looking, academically average Fourth Year kid when she had your father?"

Yet another giggle escaped her.

"Anyway, you should go have lunch, Miss Weasley. And finish that chocolate. It helps. It always helps."

She nodded and made her way to the classroom door, where she paused and looked at the professor gratefully, "Thank you, professor."

Lupin just smiled and waved.

-x-x-x-

Ginny felt like shit.

She felt weak. She was defeated not by a powerful mage, not by a fearsome creature, not Voldemort, not Dumbledore, not even Voldemort's Death Eaters - she broke down upon facing that gaze, a mere shadow of her past, a past that this world did not even have a record of.

That gaze reminded her of her lowest times, where all things had come crashing down around her previous incarnation. The loss of everything he held dear - but a thread. A thread that had kept him from despair, from falling into the Abyss, and that final thread was cut away with those very heartless eyes gazing down at him.

She felt it was worse, as Molly had been someone who truly loved her with all her heart; and the contrast hurt that much more.

Her previous incarnation had thought he'd healed… but apparently not. But she was determined to not let it bother her again.

A dry chuckle echoed across the Room of Requirements. "Does the Wizarding World even have therapists?"

-x-x-x-

After that fiasco, Ginny's life once again fell into a routine of attending classes, competing with Hermione to be the best teacher's pet, hanging out with friends and going to the Room to practise her Magicks. She made it a point to do some self-therapy - which was the only thing she could do for now. Maybe she would visit a muggle therapist at some point?

Her self-therapy included self-reflection, recalling those moments of despair before calling up memories of the times she spent with her family and friends, reminding herself that she had friends who would never betray her, like those scum she called 'friends' in her previous life.

During said therapy, she realised that despite that having happened ages ago, her previous incarnation had always been affected by it. Keeping his newer friends at a distance, never truly letting anyone into his heart. This left him both scared of affection and starved for it. So, in his new life, when he gained Ginny's emotions, that affection-starved part of him accepted it immediately and let Ginny's family become his - now her - own.

-x-x-x-

On a weekend after class, she made her way to the RoR.

In the Room of Hidden Things, Ginny pored over the book she'd gotten as a reward for completing the First Trial. It was one of the thick books which detailed one of Rowena's self-created spells and its variations: `Invisibilis Anima`. Or simply the Invisibility Charm.

This charm was essentially the spell form of Harry's Cloak. Its invisibility was near perfect. And the best part? She could even avoid Moody's magical eye if she could use its final and most powerful variation!

The only problem was that she had been trying her hardest to learn this spell for the last two weeks - to no avail. And it was even the most basic variation she was having difficulty with! She had never struggled so much with a spell!

And she was supposed to be immensely talented! Even if it was a spell that she did not know of from Riddle's memories, she could learn it with two or three tries. Even the more difficult ones only took her a few more tries.

So it was a rather frustrating ordeal for her.

After another hour of failed tries, Ginny slumped back down on the seat which adjusted for her and looked up listlessly.

This was the first true roadblock she'd hit after being transmigrated. Everything before this went incredibly smoothly for her: She made friends easily, learnt magic like snapping her fingers, had fun with her family, became extraordinarily powerful and even made her very own spell! She was practically living the dream! There was only the small blemish of the Boggart incident.

She had not thought much of this particular spell when she'd first tried it, thinking that this was another spell that she could casually learn. But even after trying exhausting her practically monstrous Magic she still couldn't cast it. There was not even the slightest indication!

She understood what the spell was doing, she understood how it bent light that intersected with her, around her. The book had mentioned that a failed cast would make her at least slightly translucent. But Ginny never saw the slightest indication of her turning less opaque as she was normally.

At first she'd thought that it was due to the special nature of her eyes that she was able to see herself, but when she tested it with her friends, they didn't see any difference at all!

She'd thought that perhaps her magical resistance was too high, but her disillusionment Charm worked perfectly.

She sighed and chose to focus on something else. After a moment of pondering she intoned, "Status."

{

Name: Ginevra Molly Weasley

Race: Witch (Magical Being)

Magic: 7.8

Body: 6.7

Spirit: 7.9

Innate Abilities:

Assimilate 1/3 (1/year (Total: 7))

Ente Arcanum

Parseltongue (A)

Magic Perception (P)

Superior Logical Processing Unit (1/2) (A)

Aetherform Transformation (A)

Skills:

Cooking Lv.3 (900/4000)

Flying Lv.6 (12321/32000)

Alchemy Lv.1 (35/2000)

Potioneering Lv.7 (1215/64000)

Magicks:

Enchantment Lv.8 (110084/128000),

Transfiguration Lv.8 (120016/128000),

Dark Magic Lv.9 (1023999/1024000),

Mind Magic Lv.9(3044/1024000)

.

.

.

}

Ginny contemplated as she browsed her status screen. "My Magic and Spirit have increased significantly, while Body… it's barely grown at all." She frowned. "It will grow as I do, but what about after? Can I only strengthen myself using my 'assimilate' ability…?

"But there's gonna be an upper limit… No matter how overpowered assimilate is, there are a finite number of creatures I can access. Do I have to do experiments like those mad scientists?"

Ginny's mouth twitched. "Nevermind! I'll probably end up dying at the hands of some protagonist. Or maybe my own experiments! No, no, no! This path is too treacherous!" She shook her head frantically as she imagined all sorts of absurd plots playing out in her head…

---

She imagined herself in a dark room lit up by surgical lights, standing over a grotesque, tentacled, body laughing maniacally, "Hahahaha~ My lovely child, it's time for you to wake up! Wake up and become my-!

*STAB*

"Gah!"

*dies*

---

Ginny put away the tome on the `Invisibilis Anima` spell and took out another book, this one on the subject of Alchemy. Having received a tome on the Art of Alchemy from Rowena, she decided to get started on it. This one was not the tome which Rowena left, however. That one was too esoteric for her to even begin to comprehend. So she asked the Stone Eagle where she could find books on Alchemy and apparently the little shit hadn't mentioned that as an inheritor that has completed one of her trials, she had access to a small part of Rowena's library.

She had very nearly thrown a Bombarda at its face!

After a short while of light reading, she cast a Tempus, "Well, let's get some sleep." she told herself.