From Mockery to Partnership
He flushed. "Never stopped you from accepting what you could get from me before," he bit back.
She flinched and glared at him, pain and anger mixed in her eyes in equal measure. "I didn't say anything else to her," she said back finally. "She asked me if I was having fun, and asked how school was and if you and I were getting along. I said yes, that it was hard, and you thought we were. Then I said I loved her dress robes and we hugged. That's it."
He had the grace to look slightly abashed. "And you did not tell her anything else?"
"I have never snitched on you," Pansy said severely. "Never, ever. Even when I climbed the tree on your estate and fell out of it trying to get the kite that was stuck in it."
"Oh. Right. I remember that," he said in a soft whisper. For a brief moment he looked like the boy that Pansy had really liked, a kinder face with softer eyes. Then his face hardened and his eyes sharpened. "Well, good. Thank you." With what he thought was a lordly nod, he turned and left without another word.
After watching him walk away, Pansy turned and sat back down at the table she shared with Millicent. Her movements were slow and without thought. She turned to look at Millicent when her friend pressed her leg against hers again. "Hmm?"
"You still don't deserve it," Millicent said quietly.
"I thought I was doing what he wanted," Pansy whispered. "I don't know what he wants anymore."
"You should do what you want," Millicent said gently.
"That's the problem," Pansy sighed. "I don't know what I want."
....
She had thought she would have time to ponder on that question, but as life was wont to do, she found she did not have much time at all.
Potions class was already off to a rough start. Millicent had gotten sick with a cold and stayed in their dorm room to rest. Pansy had relied on her best friend more these days to remain calm and centered. She never would want Millicent to suffer for her sake and while she wanted her friend to rest, she felt her absence keenly.
Snape had started the class by going over the potion they would be attempting to brew that day, lecturing on some of the more tricky parts of the instructions. Then he stepped out for a moment, giving Draco the chance to do what he wanted: mock Harry.
Draco, having learned that Harry had remained at the school over the holidays, had immediately gone for the throat and ridiculed Harry for not being wanted by his relations to return for the school break. Harry had tried to keep his emotions under check but the remark struck home and no one missed the flash of pain on his face.
Tasting blood, Draco bragged about how his family looked forward to his return and he was the highlight of their Winter Soiree. How everyone wanted to have him around. He had turned smugly to Pansy, waiting for her to help him. Waiting for her to aid in mocking him, to take part in torturing Harry.
There was a time where she would have done just that. She had done just that, a few months prior. Yet now, she hesitated. She thought about everything that had happened lately. She remembered the kindness Harry showed her, the cruelty that Draco had shown her. She felt the weight of the handkerchief, clumsily sewn and given to her, in her pocket.
You don't deserve it; you still don't deserve it. You should do what you want to do.
She opened her mouth and Draco looked at her expectantly, gleefully waiting.
"I'm tired of this," she said and he looked as confused as she felt.
"What?" he asked, wrong-footed.
Pansy got up from the desk, moving slowly but with purpose that grew stronger with each step she took. She walked up to Harry who looked at her with mirrored confusion. She tried to ignore the suspicious looks from Lavender and Parvati, from everyone else. "Potter," she said, her voice oddly calm. "Millicent is sick today and I don't have a partner. Care to work together?"
.....
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