Delving into Darkness

Now that the child had access to the restricted section of the Hogwarts library, he could begin learning the dark arts. It was essential, after all, that he start early. Harry Potter's magical core was pure white, chaotic, and so potent it was corrosive; light magic would come naturally to him, as would powerful, forceful spells, light or dark - after all, the boy's magic was almost constantly begging to be released so it could wreak havoc. The boy wasn't aware of this, of course, but given his proximity to the child's magical core, he had a front row seat to the daily struggle between Harry Potter's subconscious self control and his magical core.

It was amusing, but concerning nonetheless. Mastering the subtler, finer points of the complex dark magic Lord Voldemort favoured would require time and effort...however, he had no doubt it was possible, given how much the child's contemplative personality contrasted with the nature of his magical core. Indeed, with the strange combination that was the boy's determination, thoughtfulness, and power, he did not doubt that Harry Potter would accomplish anything he put his mind to. Well, almost anything.

The child wanted to master both light and dark magic. Really, Harry Potter's naivety was as endearing as it was irritating - even he had to admit that. Mastering light and dark magic - what a feat that would be. The problem with mastering any sort of magic is that it necessarily mutates one's magical core, which in turn influences one's personality. This is why those who master dark magic quickly become obsessed with the complexity, decadence, and allure of the dark arts; this is why skilled dark magic practitioners were so fixated on gaining power and control - it became a part of them. This is also why masters of light magic like Dumbledore were so deeply connected to positive emotions and, irritatingly, moral rightness. It was impossible to remain unchanged by the magic one practices, making it difficult to practice any other kind of magic.

Still, though, it would be amusing to watch the boy try. Who knows? Maybe Harry Potter's affinity for completely overthrowing his expectations would extend farther than he thought possible. And perhaps his tendency toward mental instability might actually prove to be an advantage.

Either way, though, the boy needed to start practicing the dark arts - the sooner the better. Although, he'd need a place to practice...

It was too dangerous to show the child the Chamber yet. Too much could go wrong. However, the Room of Requirement was a good alternative – in fact, it was perfect. Yes, he'd give Harry directions to the Room of Requirement, and have him practice in there. It could be...a Christmas present. Yes, a Christmas present. After all, he couldn't have Dumbledore giving the boy gifts when he did not. That just wouldn't do.

The invisibility cloak...such a useful, troublesome object...

The boy was extremely grateful for the cloak, and rightfully so, but as useful an object it was, it was already creating problems; it had allowed the boy to find the thrice-damned mirror in that abandoned classroom.

He wasn't sure what kind of treacherous magic it was, but anything that claims to show you your heart's desire is no doubt incredibly dangerous, particularly to Harry. He would have thought the boy would see in the mirror his parents, or the friends he hoped to make at Hogwarts...something along those lines. Something...sentimental. Something that would create distance between them; something that would loosen his hold on the boy. But no...once again, the boy had to go and throw his expectations out the window.

Apparently love, friendship, and family were not what Harry Potter desired most. What he desired was...well, he wasn't sure. The image he saw through the boy's eyes had been...grim; morbid. His older self, floating there, face pale; it looked like he was close to death, despite the content smile that had been on his face. And then there was the bleeding hand.

How could that be what the boy desired? What was that? Harry Potter was a twisted little creature, in his own sweet, innocent way; a strange child with strange thoughts and strange desires. There was something wrong with the boy, but he wasn't suicidal. He couldn't be. What about that heartfelt speech he gave in front of his parents' grave? His promise to survive? What happened to that? How could the boy want to die? What had gone wrong? What could have possibly gone so wrong?

No, he needed to calm down. What he had seen in the mirror...it was more than just a drowning boy. The smile, the bleeding hand, the water – it was extremely specific. If the boy wanted to kill himself, wouldn't he have seen himself hanging from a noose, or standing upon a great precipice? Something more...conventional? People don't drown themselves when they want to commit suicide. It would be extraordinarily slow and painful – Harry was old enough to realize that. No, there was something pointedly unique about the scene he had witnessed, and the reasonable conclusion to arrive at was that it was based on a memory, something the boy had experienced before he had awakened. What it was, he couldn't begin to guess, but the child had had some kind of experience involving near death by drowning, of that he was quite certain. What he wasn't sure about was why the boy would want to relive it.

Something had happened - what exactly it was was probably of little importance - and it had revealed to the boy that thin veil between life and death; the child had looked death in the face and wanted to do it again. Was it the thrill? The loss of control? Did Harry Potter meet someone at the boundary between worlds, someone he wished to return to? Did he see something, learn something that was crucial to him? There was something that lay at the border between life and death that Harry Potter desired. But what was it?

Moreover, why was it specifically as an adult that he wanted to relive this poignant moment? Why wasn't Harry Potter, the 11 year old boy, the one floating in the mirror? No, apparently the boy wanted to relive some moment from his past at some point in his distant future. Why, he couldn't begin to imagine. He'd given up on trying to unravel the subtleties of Harry Potter's mind long ago.

For now...it would appear that he was safe. The boy had seemed just as unnerved by the image as he had been, and had been quite insistent that it was nothing. The sentiment was sincere – he had felt the potent fear and confusion in the boy's mind as he said it. Whatever twisted dream Harry Potter subconsciously desired for his future, was still unknown to the boy himself; he had time. Time to change him. Time to convince Harry Potter that there was no worse fate than death.

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