oh my god i just die

Hi my name is Max shagon I am 6 ft. (ca. 183 cm) tall I weigh 125 lb. (56.7 kg) muscular but slim I have silver hair and my eyes are dark emerald green on the inside of my eyes and on the outside is dark ocean blue and you're probably wondering why I'm talk about this that because I died and I'm standing in front of a god well let me tell you what I used to do in my previous life I was a son a brother and a soldier the United States of America I was in the special forces of the Navy Seals I was on a mission of overseas I just went behind a couple of bushes to relieve myself and the next thing I know is I'm standing in front of someone that tells me I'm dead and that I am going to be in reincarnated.

Max: okay if you're God how did I die. And why am I being reincarnated.

God: cough well here's the thing you kind of died on accident you see you were in the middle of going relieving yourself number two and well somebody kind of was just searching around looking at everything that's going on I stumbled upon you and as I was about to swipe past you someone kind of spooked me a little up here and I kind of hit the wrong button on my screen and it killed you.

Max: so wait you're telling me that while I was taking an s*** you were swiping on a device that up here loves you to view earthly beans and on one of those beans is death and somebody up here was playing a prank while you were messing with it and I died what the f*** I've been through worse than that and you killed me taking an s*** could you imagine how embarrassing this is going to be when they tried to explain what happened to me.

God: yeah sorry about that some other god was playing jokes when I was doing that but don't worry he got in trouble for it and that's why you're getting reincarnated with a couple of wishes.

Max: okay so there's other gods up here which God did that while another god sits there looking at human race with a death near their finger.

God with the Dead pan face: who else Loki.

Max: okay so what kind of reincarnation we're talking about here and how many wishes exactly.

God: you can choose any world you want comic books like marvel DC universal or novels like Harry Potter for all I care and the wishes will depend on the wishes you make will determine how many wishes you get.

Max: so wait hold on wait did you just say that I can be reincarnated into Harry Potter now when you say into Harry Potter can I choose to be Harry Potter or do I have to be someone else and is it before or after Harry Potter books or is it during the Harry Potter books and the wishes I understand.

God: it can be before, during, or after it, you can be Harry Potter or you can be someone else it's all up to you who you want to be or when you want to be.

Max: okay then I want to be Harry Potter in the Harry Potter world and for my wishes I would like to alterations a couple of things like instead of being in the custody of his aunt and uncle I will be raised by his parents in hiding in the deadly forest and my parents and my animegus form will be that of a wolf James will be a pure silver fur wolf, Lily will be a pure snow white wolf, and mine will be a pure silver and white mix fur. I would like to have Phoenix (Nevada flames and regeneration), dragon (eyes, resistance to magic and tougher skin), wolf (can take on the form and has the speed), and incubus (looks will be attractive and irresistible) blood and I will like to change harry potters looks to be a pure silver and snow white mix hair and dragon eyes with my eye colors.

God: okay we can do those would you like anything else

Max: yes let's see I would like to have a divine library dimension that's connected to me that will have all the information of the world of Harry Potter like magic, ruins, alchemy, light magic, dark magic, neutral magic, mythical beast, and magical creatures you know anything and everything in there but only the truth not false information only in it.

God: okay I can do that but it can only be accessed when you're asleep then you'll be able get to the library and you can only spend 72 hours inside the library and on the outside in the real world only 8 hours will past.

Max: okay that's doable and I would also like an auto-cultivation kind of thing where my body's always cultivating energy and all the impurities in my body will be pushed out by it. And I would also like to have been able to do wand less and chant less magic and be able to fly without a broom.

God: okay we can do that but you can only do that you first learn to do them properly and understand the process better before you can actually use it that way. Would you like anything else?

Max: yes I would like to have perfect memory recall and muscle memory and photographic memory and that will be it.

God: well if that's everything then all right you'll be reincarnated as Harry Potter you'll be reborn of course you'll be wide awake the day your born so you'll remember everything from that day forward perfectly. So if that's everything I'll be sending you off now.

Max: well thank you and I'll be having fun bye.

As he vanished the guy thought to himself I think God there's a god named Lucifer that's mischief otherwise how am I going to tell it be so embarrassing if I told him that it was because I sneezed.