Arthur Divorces Molly

4:23 p.m, Sunday, 13th August

1 day, 8.3 hours after the start of Harry's trial The library, Number 12, Grimmauld Place

Harry said to Hermione (as Sirius and Remus listened in), "I'm thinking hard about us transferring schools, to Manchester Magical Academy."

Harry immediately put up a Silencing Charm inside the library, so that any Weasleys who were eavesdropping, could not hear anything said from then on.

Meanwhile, Remus had to dispel the wild rumours that Sirius had heard about Manchester Magical Academy (MMA). Yes, MMA taught both magical subjects and nonmagical subjects. No, MMA was not "the school for Muggle-borns"; but it did refuse to take wizard- raised magicals, whether half-blood or Pureblood. Also, MMA was not a boarding school; the students arrived in the morning, and left in the afternoon, by means of Portkeys. Because MMA was a day school, MMA's fees were much cheaper than Hogwarts.

Hermione mentioned then that Hogwarts had a discriminatory fee structure: her parents paid more per student than a Pureblood student was charged. So MMA would not be somewhat cheaper, but much cheaper.

Harry's remark about switching to MMA clearly had surprised Hermione; but now she stopped to think. "Fifth year at Hogwarts, History of Magic will be worthless, DADA will be worthless, and the only reason Potions will maybe not be worthless is because Harry killed Snape. Slytherins can do as they please, this won't change, and Muggle-borns like me again will get no help and no protection from the professors. Also, every day in Hogwarts is a day when I'm getting no education in nonmagical subjects."

Hermione looked round at the three wizards in the room. "Honestly, the only reason I can think of to not transfer to MMA is that we'd miss Neville, the Twins and Luna Lovegood. On the other hand, leaving Hogwarts means no more Ron, no more Ginny, no more Molly Howlers, no more Draco and no more Dumbledore."

Hermione walked up to Harry, put her arms round his neck, and kissed him. "If we can get my parents to agree, let's do this. But I'm sure that part will be a formality."

Harry grinned, then he looked at Sirius. "Padfoot, next Friday, after you are tried and acquitted of all the charges you were imprisoned for, can I ask you to submit parchmentwork in the Hall of Records to become Hermione's magical guardian till 19th September 1996?"

Sirius looked at Hermione, who smiled at him. Sirius asked her, "Who is your magical guardian right now?"

"Professor McGonagall, by default," she replied.

Harry said coldly, "In second year, Muggle-borns were getting petrified by the basilisk. If McGonagall had sent petrified Hermione to Saint Mungo's, Hermione would have missed one day of class at most. But no, none of the Hogwarts Heads of House sent a petrified Muggle-born to Saint Mungo's. Flitwick, Sprout and McGonagall all did what Dumbledore ordered—they all enabled Dumbles to keep his disgraceful secret that a monster was roaming the castle—rather than do what was best for their petrified students."

****

Sirius and Hermione drew up a simple document that stated that Sirius was Hermione's magical guardian till 19 September 1996, with the permission of Hermione's parents. Sirius and Hermione each signed and dated the document, and dripped a drop of blood onto the parchment by their respective signatures.

However, the document would not be filed with the Ministry till after Sirius had been tried and acquitted in the Wizengamot next Friday.

After Hermione signed (and bled on) the magical-guardian parchment, Sirius said, "Kids, even though I won't file this document till Friday, I don't think we should wait till late in the week to ask your parents to sign it. Hermione, are your parents home right now? Or are they at church or something?"

Hermione said, "Actually, they work on Sundays. They'll be home about 6:30."

Harry said, "I have some pounds upstairs. Why don't we go over there and I'll pay for delivery pizza? Then we can talk with the Granger parents about magical guardians, Hogwarts and MMA."

With the plan made, the foursome had about two hours to kill till they were elf-popped to the Grangers' house. Till then, Remus decided to stay in the library and read, while Sirius and Harry headed to the kitchen for a snack. The library tempted Hermione, as always, but she decided to follow Harry to the kitchen.

****

As soon as Harry and Hermione walked into the kitchen, Ron stepped in front of Harry, and Ginny stepped in front of Hermione.

Ron said, "Harry, I demand you end your betrothal to Hermione right now."

Ginny said imperiously, "And Hermione, I demand you end your betrothal to Harry right now."

Meanwhile, Molly was saying to Sirius, "The headmaster has called an emergency Order meeting, promptly at five o'clock, in his office in Hogwarts." Molly added disapprovingly, "Since he is unable to come here."

Sirius, Harry and Hermione exchanged looks. Then Sirius asked Molly, "Why did he call the meeting?"

Meanwhile, Harry said to Ron, "Why the bloody hell should I break my betrothal to Hermione, Weasley?"

Hermione said, "Same question from me, Other Weasley."

Molly said, "Unlike some people, Sirius Black, I respect the headmaster. He didn't tell me why he called an unscheduled meeting, and I didn't ask."

Ron glared at Harry. "Because I fancy Hermione, and she should marry me, not you, because I'm a Pureblood and you're a half-blood."

Ginny replied to Hermione, "Because I'm a Pureblood, whilst you're only a Muggle-born. Plus Mum has told me since I was a little girl that one day I'll marry Harry Potter."

Sirius said to Molly, "Dumbledore was banned from this house because he made demands of me and Harry. It seems I should extend the ban, not end it."

Harry stepped forwards, invading Ron's space. "Let me guess, Weasley. You think you're

entitled to marry Hermione, just because your parents' parents' parents'—et cetera, et cetera

—parents' parents were magical. Despite the fact that you make Hermione cry, you already expect her to do your homework for you, and you eat like a pig. Here's a word that your Inbred mother should have said to you more, but didn't: No. As in, No, I'm not breaking my betrothal to Hermione, just because some ginger-haired Inbred demands it."

Hermione stepped forwards, invading Ginny's space. "The same goes for me, Inbred bint stalker."

Ron's ears turned red. "DON'T YOU INSULT MY MOTHER!"

Harry said, "Why not? God almighty, the Howlers she always sends! Plus, she secretly brewed mind-whammy potions and gave them to Sirius, me, and Hermione."

Hermione, even as she was glaring at Ginny, said, "Harry, correct grammar is 'to Sirius, Hermione and me.' "

Ron started to draw his wand, probably to curse Harry, but Ron's wrist was grabbed by his father.

Arthur asked Harry, whilst looking alarmed, "You said Molly gave you potions? What sorts?" Molly said, "Arthur, stop! Now leav—"

"Stupefy," Sirius incanted.

As Molly dropped limply to the floor, Sirius said to Arthur, "Take the Floo, Arthur, and go to Saint Mungo's. Do it now. You need to be checked for potions. Go now."

"But Professor Dumbledore has called an Order meeting, twenty minutes from now. I can't possibly be diagnosed and treated in twenty minutes."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Shall I predict for you, what's going to happen at that meeting? The rest of us will sit there quietly, like good little minions, whilst Dumbledore spouts much, much nonsense, using pretty words. And if anyone dares to ask why Snape never contributes useful intelligence, Dumbledore's eyes will twinkle, and he'll say pompously, 'I have complete confidence in Professor Snape.' Now Arthur, I mean it: Go to Saint Mungo's right now and get checked for potions. If money is a problem, bill me."

Arthur, his face looking conflicted, walked out of the kitchen and headed for the Floo Room.

Then Sirius walked over to where Harry, Hermione, and two Weasleys were glaring at each other. Sirius said, "Excuse me, Harry, but it looks like Remus and I will be wasting part of our evening, listening to the bearded bloviator. I promise we'll be back by 6:30."

Ron snapped, "You need to Rennervate our mum right now, since it was you who knocked her out."

Sirius laughed scornfully at the two youngest gingers. "I'll leave that to you two. Notice how

quiet it is in here—you think I'm putting an end to that?"

Then Sirius looked at Ron and Ginny and said, "If you're going to spout 'Purebloods are more deserving' bullshit, you should have the courage of your convictions and each get yourself a Stupidity Stamp on your left forearm. Because I'm not hearing any difference at all between you two Purebloods and the late Lucius Malfoy."

****

Not quite a half-hour later: 5:04 p.m The headmaster's office, Hogwarts

When an Order meeting was held anywhere else, Dumbledore always was the last to arrive. But when the meeting was held in his office, he started the meeting promptly, and any latecomers would be shamed by Dumbledore blasting them with his strongest I'm so disappointed in you look.

Despite this, Sirius and Remus sauntered through the Floo at 5:04.

Sirius smiled at the gobsmacked faces of all the Order members already there, whilst he made a cheery, relaxed wave. Sirius ignored Dumbledore completely, and likewise ignored Molly (who was glaring at Sirius). Sirius felt surprise that Ron Weasley was able to wake his mother in time, but decided not to say as much to Molly. Eventually Sirius sat down, next to Remus (who had sat down next to Tonks).

"Sirius my boy, you're late," Dumbledore said.

"Albus my geezer, punctuality can't be that important a virtue if you never practise it."

"Padfoot," Remus said, "I suspect that the Leader of the Light is cheesed off at you for some reason."

"I can't imagine why," Sirius replied, "because I've done nothing wrong. But lo, the ever- present twinkle in his eyes does seem to be missing now."

Dumbledore said, "I am not angry, my boy, but I do confess to being sorely disappointed. Right now there is only one thing you are able to do for the Order, host a meeting place, but today you are failing to do even that."

"And whose fault is that, Albus? That I can't do more? Get me a trial, get me publicly acquitted, and I can fight right next to Remus and Minnie. But you haven't given me a trial, you haven't ensured I was publicly acquitted, so I'm still a wanted felon on the run. Do that, clear my name, and I'll think about showing you, Mundungus and Snivellus the parchment that says where I live."

"How can I get you a trial, my boy? I am not Chief Warlock now." Which was a true statement, but misleading. Then Dumbledore said to Sirius, "But if you have the Secret written down on a parchment, I insist that you give me that parchment."

"Sure, no problem, I'll just"—Sirius made a show of checking all his pockets. "Oh, how forgetful of me. Looks like I left that parchment at home, so sorry. But oi, you defeated Grindelwald, so surely you can Accio a parchment that's somewhere in London, when you yourself are somewhere in Scotland. But if not, there's always Plan B."

Silence. Dumbledore looked at Sirius, blasting him with his most severe I'm so disappointed in you look, instead of asking what "Plan B" was.

So it was Remus who asked, "What is Plan B?"

Sirius replied cheerfully, "Our leader has, a few times, mentioned his ancestral home, Dumbledore House. Plan B is that the Order meets there. Then Molly can order Dumbledore about in his own home, and Fletcher can keep trying to pocket Dumbledore's things."

Remus said, "Even better, Snivellus would behave. He would not dare sneer at his host, if his host were also his employer."

Sirius looked at Dumbledore and said guilelessly, "So beginning next Order meeting, we agree to all meet at your house?"

Dumbledore did not reply to the question. Instead, he said, "Sirius, I insist that you provide me with a written copy of the Secret."

"Fuck you," Sirius replied calmly. Amidst the many gasps heard, Sirius asked the entire Order, "Does someone want to tell Remus and me what we missed, being late?"

Tonks said, "Harry is a teenager acting like a teenager, and somehow this is bad. Also, the greasy git got killed, along with a mob of other Death Eaters."

Dumbledore said, "I have concerns about Harry: I fear he is going Dark. As for Professor Snape, thirty-two Death Eater corpses, including the remains of Professor Snape, appeared in the Ministry Atrium this morning."

Sirius took a theatrical sniff. "You're right, the air in here does smell cleaner—how did I miss Snivellus not being here?"

"Sirius my boy, this is no time for jokes. Be serious."

Sirius and Remus did not say a word; instead, they grinned at each other. Minerva facepalmed and Tonks groaned.

Sirius looked at Kingsley and asked, "Do you know who killed all the Death Eaters?"

Kingsley shrugged. "The Boss Lady knows, but refuses to tell. She's declared the homicides to be 'justifiable,' and has ordered us not to investigate further."

Hestia and Tonks, the two other Aurors in the Order, both nodded.

Sirius pretended to stroke his chin in thought. "Thirty-two justifiable homicides? Quite mysterious. Perhaps thirty-two Death Eaters said some wizard's wife was uglier than a Chudley Cannons cheerleader."

Remus said, "Or maybe Voldemort killed him. I doubt that the Dark Lord would allow Snape to go months at a time without ever contributing any knowledge that is useful for attacking the enemy. I'm sure Voldemort wouldn't accept being played."

Dumbledore replied, "Remus, I personally made the decision to admit a boy with your condition to Hogwarts, yet now you disappoint me so. I have complete confidence in Professor Snape, even now."

Sirius said, "Here's a suggestion: Why don't we forget about Harry and forget about Snape, and talk about Voldemort? The last I heard, Voldy was staying at Malfoy Manor. How about we make a plan to go over there and attack him?"

Minerva asked, "How do you know where he's at, Sirius? How did you hear this?"

Sirius grinned. "I overheard someone whom Molly would never invite to dinner, say it." By which, Sirius meant a goblin; but which everyone would interpret to mean a shady wizard.

Tonks asked, "Is You Know Who at Malfoy Manor? How odd that Snape never told us this." "Professor Snape," Dumbledore corrected.

Sirius looked at Dumbledore and demanded, "Did you already know about Voldemort and Malfoy Manor?"

"Yes," said Dumbledore, looking wise and grave, "but I have decided to not act on this knowledge till a later time."

Molly nodded in approval, even whilst she glared at Sirius.

Sirius waited for someone other than himself and Remus to object to Dumbledore's We'll wait words, but nobody spoke out.

Dumbledore now looked sternly at Sirius. "Let me decide tactics, Sirius my boy. As for Harry, I think he needs to consider the direction his life is taking. I have decided to return him to the Dursleys for these last three weeks of summer."

"Nope, not happening," Sirius said. He looked at Remus, who nodded, then each wizard pulled a folded-up foot of parchment from a pocket of his robes. The two parchments were tossed onto Dumbledore's desk.

Sirius said to the Order members, "Remus and I hereby resign from the Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore clearly is obsessed with Harry, which Remus and I find disturbing and angering, and which we no longer will ignore. When the whiskered wanker wants to add to Harry's abuses, and you lot just sit there silently and make no objections, you're not an organisation we want to be part of. And when you refuse to attack Voldy? You're not a militia now, you're a cult of personality, worshipping the world's most incompetent general, who also is maybe a deviant."

Minerva started to speak, but then silenced herself, looking ashamed.

Sirius and Remus stood up. Sirius eyed the others in the room and said, "By the way, I changed out my Fidelius this morning. Most of you here, including the Leader of the Light, now have forgotten where I live. And that knowledge will stay forgotten, because you're not meeting at my house anymore. Oh, and if any of you try to enter my house forcibly, to kidnap Harry on the orders of the bearded blighter here? Your life will be painful and short."

Sirius and Remus already were standing; now Tonks stood up too. She said to Dumbledore, "I don't have a parchment to hand in, but I resign too. I'm not doing any of the things I thought I'd be doing when I took the Oath of Obedience to you, Professor."

****

Almost two hours later: 6:52 p.m

The Granger house, Crawley, West Sussex County

Harry, Hermione, Sirius and Remus were sitting in the sitting room, along with Dan and Emma. Whilst they waited for the pizzas to be delivered, the magicals had told the Grangers that they had made a trip to Malfoy Manor this morning, in which they had killed Voldemort and thirty-two of his minions. Quite briefly—and as bloodlessly as possible—the foursome described how they had achieved these deaths.

Harry saw that Hermione was biting her lip. Clearly she was worried that their method of dealing with Voldemort and the Death Eaters was something her parents would judge to be cold-blooded and unsporting.

So all the magicals were surprised when Dan gave Emma a small smile. "Sounds like something we would've done in Sport and Social," SAS.

Then Dan looked at Hermione and said, "You did what needed to be done, and you were brave. I'm proud of you."

Hermione asked, "Does it change anything if I tell you I killed a man?" Emma gasped, but Dan said calmly, "Report the details."

"Harry sent me to go into a bedroom and to steal a pillow, with Remus coming with me just in case; but if anyone was in that bedroom, to kill him. But I didn't want that; I was hoping the bedroom would be empty. Anyway, we walked into the bedroom across the corridor from Voldemort's bedroom, and we saw a man asleep. As soon as we saw the sleeping man, Remus put up a Silencing Charm, because I didn't think to do it. I walked up to stand beside the man's head, then I used Diffindo on the man—I remember he had a heavy beard—to cut through his neck. But I didn't cut hard enough! I saw blood everywhere, and the man was making awful noises. Then I did the Cutting Charm again, and finally beheaded him. His eyes rolled up in his head, and blood flowed from the cuts for a few seconds more, and it all was horrid. Remus wound up cleaning all the blood off both the pillow and me, because I was so freaked out, I didn't think to do it."

Harry said, "Madam Bones told me the wizard's name, if you ever want to know it." Hermione said, "Oh no, Madam Bones knows what I did?"

Hermione explained to her parents, "Madam Bones is the Director of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement."

Emma said, "I'm confused. Why didn't she arrest you then and there?"

Harry answered, "Because Hermione was in Malfoy Manor, and killed an enemy of Lord Malfoy, on the orders of Lord Malfoy—who is me. Which made Hermione killing the wizard be legal by the laws of Wizarding Britain. By the same logic, Hermione and Sirius legally killed Lord Voldemort."

Dan looked at his daughter and Sirius. "Don't take this the wrong way, Pumpkin, but I'm amazed that you two killed Voldemort."

Hermione shrugged. "It wasn't as big a deal as it sounds. For Sirius and me, it was like shooting fish in a barrel; meanwhile, Harry was distracting Voldemort, and those two were engaged in a full-on magical battle."

Harry shook his head. "Hermione, you make the 'magical battle' sound like something your parents would see in the cinema. I held a pillow over Voldy's face, and Voldy magically tried to push the pillow off his face, till he died from what you and Sirius did."

Dan repeated what he had said earlier: "Pumpkin, you did what needed to be done, and you were brave. I'm proud of you."

Hermione beamed like she had just won a sweepstakes, but then she looked nervous again. "Mum, Dad, Harry and I want to transfer to a different magical school. That's why we came here tonight."

Harry and Hermione made their case, which did not take long, even with a few extra remarks from Sirius and Remus. Throughout, Hermione was as anxious as if she were sitting her NEWTs whilst starkers.

When the magicals finally went silent, Dan and Emma exchanged a look. Emma said to Hermione, "Dear, you're clearly worried that we'll insist you go back to Hogwarts. But actually, the attitude of your father and me is 'You ain't left yet?' "

When Sirius laid the magical-guardian parchment on the table, Dan and Emma, with no delay, each picked up the Biro pen and signed the parchment, then smiled at Hermione and Sirius.

Right then, the pizza driver arrived. To Harry's surprise, Sirius never had eaten pizza before. The first wedge that Sirius was given, he tried to eat with a knife and fork.

Whilst everyone was laughing at Sirius, Hermione leant over and whispered in Harry's ear, "Whom did I kill? What was his name?"

Harry whispered back, "Walden Macnair."

"So I beheaded the wizard who wanted to behead Buckbeak? Fitting." Hermione, Harry noticed, acted much more cheerful for the rest of their visit.

****

After Sirius, Harry and Hermione returned to Grimmauld Place

Harry and Hermione wrote a note, for Dobby to leave on the desk of the headmaster of MMA

—

13th August

Harry James Potter and Hermione Jean Granger, two Muggle-raised Hogwarts students entering fifth year, wish to know the process for transferring to Manchester Magical Academy before 1st September.

We strongly request that you keep secret any correspondence between you and us till 1st

September, even if the school-transfer fails to happen. Call on house-elf Dobby whenever you have post for either of us.

Harry Potter is emancipated, if this matters. Harry James Potter

Hermione Jean Granger

****

Whilst Harry and Hermione were writing their letter to the MMA headmaster, they heard Sirius, Molly and Arthur yelling downstairs. Harry thought, Arthur is yelling? Arthur never yells.

When the betrothed couple later walked into the kitchen and asked about the yelling, one of the twins shared the news: "When Dad came back from Saint Mungo's, he had a parchment that listed a mob of potions that he had been dosed with, and Dad was furious. Dad immediately spoke a divorce declaration against Mum."

Hermione started to ask a question; Twin Two answered it: "When someone speaks a divorce declaration, he or she gets their magic 75-percent bound, and the other spouse gets custody of the children, sole control of all family vaults, and sole ownership of all property. The Chief Warlock can reverse all these things, but only if the divorce-declaring spouse proves potioning or adultery."

Twin One said, "So Dad is temporarily homeless, except for Padfoot's charity. When Padfoot learnt about the potions and the divorce declaration, he ordered Mum, Ron and Ginny to leave here for the Burrow. Padfoot gave Mum the same 'Floo out or I'll have the Black wards throw you out' threat he made to Dumbledore."

Twin Two said, "Mum then ordered Gred and me to return to the Burrow too, even though we're seventeen. But when Padfoot invited us to stay here, this clinched it. We told Mum we would be living with Dad till we got married."

Twin One said, "Dad hugged us then. It freaked us out—only Hermione hugs us."

Harry asked, not daring to hope, "So Molly, Ron and Ginny are all three gone from here, never to return?"

Twin Two replied, "As of about two minutes ago, yes." Harry and Hermione high-fived.

****

Harry and Hermione (with the twins following) walked into the library, where they found Sirius and Remus talking with Arthur. All three wizards were drinking firewhisky, and wore serious expressions.

Harry realised that, with a ginger-haired audience, he would have to speak in code: "Sirius, Remus, Hermione, I'm thinking about going to the Ministry Atrium tomorrow morning at eight. I plan to talk about our adventure this morning, and to show everyone the rubbish in the rubbish bag. I'd like it if you three came with me."

Twin A asked, "What adventure—"

"—are you talking about?" asked Twin B.

Hermione replied, "We'll tell you tomorrow, right after we talk with the reporters."

Sirius said to Harry, "Either you or me should contact Amy, to make sure the Aurors don't arrest me."

Harry said, "I'll write her tonight."

****

The note that Harry wrote to Kenneth Clark, the New York Wand reporter, was brief—

Mr Clark,

Tomorrow (14th August) in the Atrium of the Ministry of Magic, I and three other people will give a press conference at 8:03 a.m London time. Afterwards, the four of us will make

ourselves available to you for an exclusive interview. Harry Potter

The note that Harry wrote for Barnabas Cuffe, editor-in-chief for the Daily Prophet, read a bit differently—

Mr Cuffe,

Tomorrow (14th August) in the Atrium of the Ministry of Magic, I and three other people will give a press conference at 8:03 a.m. I know that you have more than one reporter working for you, and Rita Skeeter is expressly not invited.

Harry Potter

Harry did not mention in his note to Cuffe that if the unregistered beetle animagus showed up uninvited, Harry had plans for her.

Finally, Harry wrote a note to Madam Bones—

Madam Bones,

Tomorrow (14th August) in the Atrium of the Ministry of Magic, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Hermione Granger and I will hold a press conference at 8:03 a.m. Can you be there then, so that when some idiot in the audience demands the arrest of one of us (or all four of us) for

some idiotic reason, you can order your Aurors to stay put? Thanks. Harry Potter

Interestingly, ten minutes after Dobby delivered Harry's note to Madam Bones, the Bones house-elf Tibia delivered a note to Harry from Susan Bones. In the note, Susan apologised abjectly for how she had treated Harry in second year and in fourth year.

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