“I’m the king now? This is going to be fun.” “Fun? I’m stuck in a dress, surrounded by scheming women.” Two best friends find themselves in a cultivation world—one’s a king, the other’s a concubine. “You charm, I’ll smash.” “Sounds like a plan.” Between court intrigue, catty concubines, and a kingdom falling apart, this duo plans to charm and smash their way to the top. If the world burns along the way? Well, no one’s perfect. (^_^) Warnings: -Dark humor -Manipulation and palace intrigue -LGBTQ+ themes -Scheming concubines -Mild violence and adult themes -Subtle emotional manipulation by an innocent-looking king! This duo isn't playing by the rules, and neither should you.
Mei sat in her chambers, staring at the delicate tea set in front of her, the soft clink of porcelain against porcelain the only sound breaking the silence. Her fingers traced the edge of the cup, her mind churning through the events of the past few days. Concubine Xu's grip on the harem was strong, but it wasn't unbreakable. Mei had seen the cracks—the nervous glances, the forced laughter from the other concubines who pretended loyalty to Xu but clearly feared her.
Mei's strategy had always been direct confrontation, but this palace was a world where directness was a liability. She was starting to understand the rules of the game here. If she wanted to survive, she'd have to play dirty. But if she wanted to win, she'd have to play smart.
Xu had made her position clear, testing Mei publicly with those veiled comments and thinly disguised barbs. It was clear Xu viewed Mei as a potential threat—if not yet, then certainly one to watch. And if Xu was already watching her, it meant Mei had to act fast, quietly, and with precision.
Divide and conquer. Mei smirked to herself. That was a tactic she knew well from her days as a competitive gamer. Back then, it had been about breaking down an opponent's defenses one layer at a time, forcing them to collapse under the pressure of multiple fronts. Here, it would be no different.
She took a slow sip of her tea and set the cup down with deliberate care. It was time to start working on the weaker concubines. Xu's influence had kept them in line, but that influence was built on fear. And Mei knew all too well that fear could only control people for so long. Offer them something better, something safer, and fear could quickly become loyalty.
That afternoon, Mei began making her rounds, visiting the courtyards and chambers of some of the lower-ranking concubines. It was always done subtly—small visits here and there, perfectly timed moments where her presence could seem casual, even coincidental. But there was nothing casual about her intentions.
She found Concubine Linghua in the garden, quietly tending to a small arrangement of flowers. Mei approached with a soft smile, her expression warm and open.
"Those are lovely," Mei said, gesturing to the delicate blossoms. "I didn't know you had such a talent for gardening."
Linghua glanced up, her eyes briefly widening in surprise. It was rare for any of the other concubines to approach her directly—especially someone of Mei's rank. She quickly composed herself, offering a polite smile in return. "It's nothing, really. Just something to pass the time."
"Still," Mei said, lowering herself gracefully beside Linghua, "it's impressive. It takes patience to nurture something like this."
Linghua hesitated, clearly unsure of how to respond. Mei could see the uncertainty in her eyes, the way her hands stilled over the flowers as if she expected Mei's compliments to come with some kind of hidden insult. That was how the harem worked, after all—every word was a weapon, every gesture a move on a chessboard.
But Mei wasn't playing Xu's game. Not today.
"I've always admired patience," Mei continued, her voice soft. "It's something I've been trying to learn myself, but... well, it's not easy, is it? Especially not here."
Linghua's shoulders relaxed slightly, her hands resuming their delicate work. "No, it isn't," she admitted quietly. "The palace can be... difficult."
Difficult was an understatement, but Mei didn't push. Instead, she let the silence linger for a moment before speaking again, her tone casual but laced with intent.
"I've noticed that you don't involve yourself much in the... politics of the harem," Mei said, watching Linghua carefully.
Linghua stiffened ever so slightly. "I prefer to stay out of it," she said quickly. "It's safer that way."
Mei nodded slowly. "I understand. But sometimes... staying out of things isn't enough to keep you safe."
There it was—a flicker of something in Linghua's eyes. Fear? Uncertainty? Mei pressed on, her voice gentle but firm.
"I know you're careful, Linghua. But in a place like this, being careful isn't always enough. You need allies. People who can watch your back."
Linghua looked at her, really looked at her, for the first time since their conversation had started. "And you're offering to watch mine?"
Mei smiled. "I'm offering to help. I don't have many friends in the palace yet, but I could use someone like you—someone who knows when to speak and when to stay quiet. Someone who understands how things work."
Linghua studied Mei for a long moment before finally nodding, almost imperceptibly. "I'll... think about it."
Mei smiled again, a touch of satisfaction curling in her chest. She had planted the seed. Now it was just a matter of time.
Over the next few days, Mei continued her quiet campaign, speaking with concubines like Linghua—women who had been too afraid to stand up to Xu but who could be swayed with the right kind of reassurance. Mei didn't need them to become loyal overnight. All she needed was for them to start doubting Xu's control, to see that there was another option.
Xu's dominance had made her complacent. She didn't see the fractures forming beneath her carefully constructed empire. But Mei saw them, and she was more than willing to exploit them.
A week later, Mei sat in the main pavilion with the other concubines, listening to the idle chatter about court life and upcoming festivals. Xu, as always, held court from her place at the center, her smile as sharp as ever. But Mei had noticed something different about her lately. A slight tension in her posture, a sharper edge to her words. Xu was starting to sense the shift, even if she didn't fully understand what was happening yet.
Mei caught Linghua's eye from across the pavilion, and for the briefest moment, Linghua hesitated before offering a small, almost imperceptible nod.
It was working.
Mei leaned back in her seat, letting her gaze drift over the other concubines. Some of them were still firmly under Xu's control, but others... others were beginning to waver. It wouldn't be long now before Xu's power base began to crumble.
But Mei knew better than to rush things. She had learned the hard way that patience was her best weapon here. The game wasn't over yet—not by a long shot. Xu still had influence, and Mei couldn't afford to make any mistakes.
For now, she would continue playing the role of the quiet observer, the innocent concubine who posed no threat. But behind the scenes, she would keep building her alliances, one quiet conversation at a time.
Later that evening, as Mei prepared for bed, one of her maids approached her with a small scroll. Mei took it, unrolling the parchment to find a list of names. Concubines, noble families, their alliances within the court.
Mei's eyes narrowed as she read through the names, her mind already working through the possibilities. Some of these women were tied to powerful noble families—families that could be useful or dangerous depending on how they played their cards.
Mei smiled to herself as she set the scroll aside. She was learning. She was adapting. And soon, she would be ready to make her next move.
Small Theater:
Mei: Plays the long game "Just gotta keep it cool. No sudden moves."
Xu: "Oh, Sister Mei, you’ve been so quiet lately. Is everything... well?"
Mei (internally): I swear, Xu, one more word and I’ll flip this entire pavilion.
Linghua: Tentatively nods at Mei
Mei (internally): There it is. The cracks are showing. Time to start shaking the foundation.
Xu: Feels a chill down her spine for reasons she can’t quite explain