Everything Was A Mess (Chloe)

April 21, 2013, Sunday.

It was raining when Matt called me to say that he was already outside. It was 7 pm. I grabbed my favorite black hoodie and wore it. Charlotte and Cassy went to the supermarket to grab some groceries for my mini birthday celebration. They want to buy the ingredients without me so it will be a surprise. They also went to someplace they don't want to tell me.

I grabbed the keys and went out. It was freezing outside. Glad that I wore pants and the blue shirt Char gave me last Christmas.

Matt waved from his car and I waved back. I opened the umbrella and rushed to Matt's car.

"Good evening, babe."

"Good evening," I replied.

He looked at me,

"I love that shirt. You look cute."

He kissed me on the cheek and I looked at him.

He noticed that I am aloof but ignored it like nothing is wrong between us.

"What do you want to do first? Eat or movie?" Matt asked.

"Maybe eat first."

He looked at the road and started the car.

We drove to our favorite diner The Chill Bill.

"I made a reservation. Because I know it's Sunday. It gets crowded on the weekends."

"I know, Matt. We always eat here."

I crossed my arms.

"Yeah Yeah. Sorry."

He nodded and smiled.

"Hey, my two lovebirds. Your seat is right there. You're favorite!"

"Hey, Bill! Thank you. I know I asked for a late reservation." Said Matt, as he tapped Bill's shoulders. Bill is the owner of the diner.

We walked to our favorite seat, where everything started. Where I first held hands with Matt, our first kiss, our first photo together.

I need to pull myself together.

"Babe are you okay?"

Matt asked me. I must've looked like I'm going to cry.

"Yes of course. Come on let's sit."

I hurried at the table.

We sat and talked for a bit. He said sorry and he told me he fucked it up that night and he didn't mean it. Our orders arrived and we ate. Matt is the only one talking between us now. I just answered him with yes or no.

I'm tired to be treated this way. Making you feel like shit then making you feel like a princess just because he knew he made a mistake. But you know that it will hapoen again soon. This was not the Matt I knew. This was not the man I love. And I know he's been keeping secrets and I don't even know why.

"Are you okay, Gee? Do you feel sick? We can go to another place if you don't want the food here." He was almost finished. I just ate the french fries and left the burger untouched.

"I'm just not in the mood, Matt. I'm sorry but, can we go home after this?"

"Okay sure. Umm. I'll take you home after."

He just nodded and smiled weakly.

---

We were in the porch when Matt leaned in to kiss me but I moved my head to the right side.

"Look, Gee, I'm really sorry for being such an ass." He moved his right hand to my left cheek. "Are you still mad? I thought we are okay now?" he says gently

"I thought so too, Matt. But, I just.. I don't know."

I faced him now.

"What's happening to you Matt? I get it."

I sighed deeply and dropped my hands in front of him.

"You have your problems. But I am not the enemy here, Matt. We are supposed to be a team. But it's like everything is a mess right now, even us!"

don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. I kept telling myself.

"You wouldn't understand Gee."

"You always say that. It's not fair, Matt! I'm your girlfriend! You were supposed to tell me everything! I'm not happy with us anymore. You know that, right? You just pretend that you don't but you do know!" I'm yelling now.

Matt throws his arms up.

"Come on Gee, you are the one being so unfair to me. You know that I love you. Why can't you just understand me? Huh? I'm trying my best here!"

I looked at him in his eyes.

"Love, Matt? Treating me like shit is not love." I stopped for a moment, closed my eyes and breathed for a second, I can feel my tears slowly going down on my cheeks. "What kind of understanding do you want? Act like I don't care about you? Well, I'm not like that!"

"That's not what I mean!!! Come on, Gee. Let's not fight!!"

He tried to hold my hand but I moved it away.

"I don't want to fight anymore. I want to break up."

"Gee, what the hell?"

I started to cry. I couldn't hold it anymore.

Matt held my shoulders. Trying to hold me. Trying to hug me.

"I can't lose you, Gee. Not you too. Please just give me another chance."

I removed his hands from my shoulders.

"You should've thought about that before. I gave you a lot of chances. I'm tired, Matt."

I went to the door, opened it and went inside.

"Come on, please."

Matt was knocking on the door.

"Matt, just go."

I was crying and I ran to my room upstairs.