Depression

Vicki

    I sat in the living room, waiting for Danni to get home it feels like all damn day. I don't know why but it was getting harder and harder to be away from her. It seemed like work was keeping me from just being up under her... which was all I wanted. I just can not for the life of me understand why she would do me like this.. why? When she knows she's all I got.

I drifted as I leaned back on the couch deep in my thoughts...

     "Victoria... sweetie get down here I have someone you just have to meet" my mom called over the intercom. I made my way down the stairs reluctantly, as I reached the final step I felt this strange feeling in my gut. My mom was standing next to some really well dressed man. "Hello Victoria... wow you were right she is gorgeous" the gentlemen said as he extended his hand to me. "She'd be perfect for the shoot.. let's see what she's got. I'll call you to set up arrangements" the gentlemen waved at me while my mom led him out the door.

"Mom.. who is that" I asked as she walked into the living room following behind her. "That is the beginning of your modeling career" she said casually, she kept walking to the sliding doors that led out to the pool area. "Wait... Are you serious mommy" I said excitedly! "Don't play.. for real" she just stared at me as if my question was idiotic. I tried my best to calm down quickly. "Sorry mom... when do I start" I corrected myself this time.

    "Better... the shoot is in 2 days so I have a trainer coming by in about 15 minutes, go shower and change into workout clothes" my mom said never letting her eyes leave the magazine. "Also throw that juice out and drink some water... you're looking a little bloated" I looked at the glass of orange juice, then my mother "mom is jus-" before I could even finish my sentence she quickly stood and snatch the glass from me, throwing it over the cliff side of the pool. I quietly turned and headed back inside as quickly as I could being sure not to agitate her any further.

     I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard Danni pulling into the garage. I sat up to light the candles, adjust the blanket pallet I made for us in front of the fireplace. I stood dropping my robe to my shoulders as she came in.

She looked around an smiled "what's all this" I grinned an walked over to her. I took her satchel off her shoulder and sat it down leading her to the pallet "I thought it'd be pretty cool to have a indoor picnic" I responded. I could feel Danni eyeing me down so took off my robe all the way. "I just wanted to try to get us back to our old selves ...as quickly as possible" I said trailing off on the last part. Danni wrapped her arms around my waist "and... what was that" she pecked my lips "oh nothing .." I sang.

We sat on the pallet and I pressed the button for the tv to come out of the wall. "Okay... I got a few movie choices and 2 tv shows in mind" Danni pulled me closer to her so we could snuggle up. I giggled as she kissed my cheek. "I don't care baby I'm just enjoying this ...it's been a minute" Danni said as she got comfortable underneath me.

    "Okay at least pick a genre baby.. Thriller/Suspense, Action/Mystery or Drama/comedy" I said smiling. Danni sat thinking for a moment "hmm thriller will keep you close to me... I love hear you laugh an action will have us debating back an forth haha let's go with... suspense mystery" she looked at me smiling. "Sounds like a winner" I scrolled through the list and when SAW popped up we both said in unison "wanna watch SAW" then laughed. "That's the one then babygirl" I pressed play while Danni lifted up "imma go to the rest room and grab us some snacks... imma bring back popcorn an a fruit bowl for you baby I already know.." I smiled but spoke up.

   "No actually.. just the popcorn... an maybe some vanilla ice cream" I sucked in my bottom lip nervously smiling as Danni walked back over an kissed my forehead. "No problem beautiful... check you out .. somebody's got a sweet tooth today" I giggled and poked her chest "love you ...hurry back" she blew me a kiss and nodded as she hurried off.

                                    Danni

    My mind was on go the entire time, it's like every time she said something my heart heard "mutual attraction" uuugh! I rinsed my face off and did my best to clear my thoughts. As much as I really wanted to enjoy this moment with her... all I wanted really was to just be by myself. It had been a week since I saw Eva an she told me her side. I don't even know when I'll be ready to hear Vicki's but Gotdamn... I just wish I could get past this already. Shits eating at me with no mindset to stop. I took a deep breath an prepared myself to be different and present. I walked into the kitchen, started the popcorn while resting back against the fridge as my mind wondered...

     "Eva we been talkin in circles yo and honestly it's givin me a headache.." I got up and started walking out the bedroom. "Why do you constantly have to be so disrespectful. You really gonna dip while I'm in the middle of talking to you" Eva followed behind me continuing to go off. "You really think that shit cute for real and it's not. When are you going to stop playin me like I'm dummy" I plopped down on the couch an stretched out, smirking at Eva as I completely tuned her out going over my arguments for my next class assignment. Eva picked up the vase next to her an chucked it at the wall behind me! "STOP FUCKIN DISRESPECTING ME! You keep playin with me like it's okay when it is absolutely not... I'm not about to continuously be disrespected then made out to be the bad guy when you reach my breaking points" Eva stared me down an she sat in the chair.

    The microwave oven beeped snapping me out of my memory. I grabbed the ice cream from the freezer and put 3 scoops in a bowl. Got the popcorn from the microwave then made my way back to Vicki. I could tell she was in her thoughts too. "Ready for SAW baby" I sat the tray down rubbing my hands together like I was overly excited. "This is perfect baby" she gave me a kiss after I laid back down. "Yes I am" she cuddled up next to me and hit play...

                                     Vicki

     I kept getting this feeling like I just wasn't close enough to her. Like she wasn't even here with me... I rolled over to check the time, we fell asleep about 4 movies in. I mean she laughed an joked with me... she held an kissed me.. but it all felt... Empty.

    "You know the feeling all to well" my mind practically screamed at me. I tried my best to go back to sleep, while my thoughts just kept racing.

    "Victoria! Get over here now" my mom called across the field. Amber immediately stopped kissing me an backed away. I turned my head slowly to see the anger on my mothers face. "Now" she demanded again and I headed straight for the car. All I wanted to do in this moment was shrivel up an disappear. My mom finished up her conversation with a smile but when she turned to me, I saw nothing but fire in her eyes. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach and my hands began to sweat. I made sure to sit all the way in the back, buckling up my seat belt.

    My mom got in the car an spoke as she adjusted the rear view mirror. "Listen to me an listen to me well... you are no longer going to this school. You will Never see her again. You are not this abomination that you keep trying to be" she started the car. When a tear fell from my eyes she reached to the back before I could even react an slapped me so hard I could see glitter falling around me. "MOM" I screamed in pain "please stop I have a shoot tomorrow... pleeease" I begged as I seen her unbuckling her seat belt, which I assumed was to continue what she'd started. I looked at her with pleading eyes, as she drove off the school property. We passed amber on the drive out an my mom stopped, rolling down my window. "Tell her" she said sternly to me. I looked out the window trying to hide my bruised cheek at Amber.

     I cleared my throat, fighting back tears "Umm... I can't... we can't.. I-" my mom shifted the truck in reverse really fast an rolled down the passenger window. "What my darling daughter is dreading to say is she no longer goes here, you will no longer see her and she will longer be talking to you" she rolled up her window and it felt like we drove off in slow motion. Amber placed her hand on the back window as we drove off with tears pouring from her eyes. I just hung my head an cried silently.

    We pulled up to the house an my mom barked "get out now" I hesitantly reached for the door as I prepared myself for more of her wrath... I just knew she wasn't finished. I ran up to my room as quickly as possible to see the damage she'd done to my face. She walked into my room grinning as she watched me try to cover up my bruised cheek. "And you better do a damn good job... I don't want anyone questioning me at your shoot tomorrow.." she walked up behind me an grabbed the back of my hair "best believe I will be in your ass tomorrow afterwards" she pushed my head forward an I caught myself before I slammed into my vanity mirror. All I could do was shake my head an cry...

     I popped up with beads of sweat running down my face. I haven't dreamed about nor thought about this woman in Years. This shit has really thrown me all the way out of whack! I hate this is where we are... where I am.

    I placed my arm across Danni's chest and tried my best to fall back to sleep as she put her hand on my back pulling me into her...