ocp6

Act II: Breaking Reality for the Hell of It

Prologue—Dead in the Water

2138 AD

By the last week, I had figured out the best method of farming and had begun to climb levels with an obscene speed. I reached Level 200 only a day ago, but I quickly figured out that this was the limit of the game itself. Disappointing, but understandable. The Developers never expected someone to have such a high Level, and I couldn't expect them to program a whole new Levelling algorithm after everything they'd done.

I didn't allocate all of my Levels. That would be silly, especially with the plans I had. A very specific set of gear was on my person, all of which I had made myself.

Go on. See if you can spot the common theme.

The Circlet of New Ability—Mystic-Class Item

Bypasses Skill requirements and instead allows for direct EXP consumption instead of needing Job EXP to Level-up. 

-Allows the wearer to gain Levels in the 'Wild Magic Caster' Job Class. If Job hits Max Level while Item is equipped, Job becomes permanent.

-Allows the wearer to gain Levels in the 'Martial Artist' Job Class. If Job hits Max Level while Item is equipped, Job becomes permanent.

-Allows the wearer to gain Levels in the 'Runesmith' Job Class. If Job hits Max Level while Item is equipped, Job becomes permanent.

Item requires at least Player Level 150 to equip.

Ring of Allowance—Mystic-Class Item

Allows access to any Caster-type Job Class at Level 1. If Job hits Max Level while Item is equipped, Job becomes permanent.

Item requires at least Player Level 150 to equip.

Ring of False Skill—Legendary-Class Item

Allows the user to learn any High, Rare, or Unique Job Class at Level 1 without learning the previous Job Classes it requires.

Item requires at least Player Level 150 to equip.

Ring of Equivalence—Mystic-Class Item

If the user has one of the Blacksmith-derived High Classes, they automatically have equal Job Levels in any other Blacksmith-derived High Classes they might have.

If the user has one of the Sage-derived High Classes, they automatically have equal Job Levels in any other Caster-type High Classes.

Item requires at least Player Level 150 to equip.

Ring of the Returning Warrior—Mystic-Class Item

Allows the user to regain all Skills and Job Classes they may have lost during a Race Change. Allows the user to regain any and all Experience they may have lost during a Race Change.

Gives all Job Classes at Level 1 or below a 100% boost in rate of growth, decreasing by 20% per Level gained.

Item requires at least Player Level 150 to equip.

Yep. That's right. The same instant I arrive in the New World, just before my Avatar becomes real, I'll gain every Job Class I can at the highest Level possible. Bear in mind that my human form has ten ring slots, too, so that little taste is just to get you on the right track. It's no fun if I tip my hand to you now… I'll wait to do that until the proper time. But needless to say, no matter how many I add, as far as the New World is concerned, It'll be as if I had them the whole time. As for that last little addition… well. Do recall that I had another Level 100 Avatar. My human form is a bit of a glass cannon without my Natural Armor to protect me, so giving it the Job Classes and Skills my Pugilist Avatar once had would give it one hell of a boost.

One last little exploit before I enter the New World. One last hurrah.

Because today was the last day. The last hours before the transition I had been anticipating my whole life.

I didn't know if my gear would function as intended. I didn't even know if they would work at all. But it was better to try and fail than to never try at all.

So instead, I wandered Nazarick while Momonga spoke to the few people who showed up. I greeted every NPC by name, thanking them for their service and for their loyalty to Nazarick. Whether the jump occurred or not, The End was neigh. The least I could do was thank them.

I stopped by my mansion briefly, visiting my Maidens to spend some more time with them. Noa seemed content in her position by her tree, but I still had to move her in order to gather her and her sister together for one final conversation.

My Maidens had all been created in full knowledge that they would one day become real, but I still followed a theme with them. Noa and Archer represented the concepts of life and death brought to human form. Each of them had been created with one main idea in mind.

The quietly enthusiastic Divine Spirit with a desire to learn all there was to know.

The withdrawn Archdemon with the heart of a maiden who lives only to serve her beloved master.

I smiled, nodding to myself and checking over their code one last time. They would be an excellent harem if this pulled through… but if not, then at least I tried.

If, if, if… so much if. If the transfer to the New World actually occurred. If the plans I'd laid actually worked. If I didn't waste my life on a game that simply shut down without the slightest hint of a supernatural shift.

Fucking hell, my nerves are really getting to me.

"You two look beautiful today." I told my Maidens. They didn't reply, but I didn't mind. "Follow me, we're going to have one last walk before The End."

They obediently fell into step behind me as I turned and started towards the gate of my mansion. It had a 'doorway' function built in, allowing me to jump to different locations as I pleased. My Maidens followed as I walked into the Meeting Room, stopping short as I noticed there was another occupant beyond who I expected.

"—Later and later." I heard a voice say. I blinked, noticing the Elder Ooze Herohero sitting at the table.

'Ah, right. I nearly forgot he would be here.' I mentally flicked the NPC settings to 'wait', stepping forward out of earshot. Standard practice whenever I knew a conversation shouldn't be heard by them.

"Hello, Herohero." I greeted. "It's been ages."

The Ooze turned in surprise. "Ancient One-san!" He greeted tiredly. "Ah, you're right. It's been what… two years? Wow." He drooped. "I guess working overtime so much has messed with my sense of time. Sorry."

I shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I understand how you feel. Inflation is creeping up, you know. I've had to get a factory job just to eat."

Both Herohero and Momonga swiveled in surprise. "Wait, but you're retired!" The Ooze protested.

I smiled grimly. "Tell that to society."

"Damn." He muttered. "That has to suck."

I nodded in agreement. "More than you'd think. It's like I won a contest, and the prize is entry to another contest. It's ridiculous, but I deal."

"So… any reason your Maidens are following you?" Momonga asked, obviously trying to steer the subject back to safer waters.

I glanced back. "Well, I was just taking one more tour of the place. You know, for old times' sake."

"Ah." The skeleton sighed. "I should've done that…"

"Sorry I took up so much of your time." Herohero apologized, bowing slightly. "I don't get the chance to complain much IRL."

"It's fine." The Guildmaster dismissed. "I'm just glad you could make it."

"Yeah…" The Ooze sighed softly. "It's nice to have friends to talk to again…" He glanced to the side. "…But it's getting pretty late, and I have a meeting tomorrow."

I glanced at the HUD clock.

23:53:33

I winced slightly. The time was getting very close. The End was neigh.

"Ah, yeah, I guess it really is getting late." Momonga agreed, oblivious.

"I'd love to keep going, it's just that I'm almost falling asleep, here…" He apologized again.

I shook my head. "Go right ahead. Momonga and I are planning to stay until the very end."

"That would be nice." The Ooze agreed, yawning. "I guess… well, good luck. I hope we meet again someday."

Momonga and I nodded politely. "Someday." He agreed.

'Unless, of course, a miracle occurs.' I added mentally.

The Elder Ooze disappeared, his avatar vanishing from the room as he logged out.

I sighed, turning to my friend. "It's almost time."

He nodded, rising from the table. "I… never got the chance to thank you, Ancient One. For staying with me until the end, even though your life has gotten so much worse lately."

I smiled at him, not that he could see it. "There's no need. If anything, I should be thanking you. I got this chance to play God, after all. It's been fun."

"It has." He agreed, his eyes slowly trailing the room. "Your best weapons… our trophies of war… even some of our World Items. This room holds our greatest achievements."

I scoffed. "Oh, please. I think the NPCs are better than any musty old weapon. They're the children of the others, after all."

"Fair point." He acknowledged, drifting towards a large golden staff. "…Since it's the last day and all, do you mind if I…?"

I glanced at the Staff of Ainz Ooal Gown. I had a copy in my Inventory, so even if I vanished without him I would be able to make my way back to Nazarick once it resurfaced. "Go right ahead. A weapon is made to be used, after all."

He picked it up, the grip of the weapon forming perfectly to his skeletal grip. Just as I designed it to be. Finely textured black flames roared to life, painting the image of trapped, screaming faces. Momonga didn't even react, which kind of took the fun out of the jumpscare effects to begin with. "You kind of went overboard with this." He told me, amused.

I grinned. "Worth it. When I first gave it to you, you almost dropped it surprise."

"It's not my fault you actually took the game's recording of a Death Scream and set it to activate over ten times at once."

"Nope. Totally mine. Funny as hell, though."

Momonga sighed, shaking his head. "Let's just go."

He opened the door to the hall, noting the line of NPCs waiting for him. "Ah… right. The Pleiades and Sebas Tian, if I remember correctly. Follow."

The NPCs fell in line behind the lich as he began to walk towards the Throne Room. I followed as well, my Maidens at my heels. The lich opened the grand double doors, stepping onto the red carpet with a nostalgic sigh. We entered the grand room and I followed the Guildmaster to the [Throne of Kings] that we had won so long ago. He sat down, sighing contentedly. "This brings back memories…"

I chuckled. "What, do you want me to turn into my Dragon form for a picture?"

He started laughing as well, remembering the cramped photo of our first triumph. His laughter trailed off as he noticed the familiar face by the Throne. He held up the Staff, bringing up her character information. "Ah… Albedo. Tabula-san's creation." He eyed the code, sighing. "He always was a perfectionist…" He muttered, scrolling repeatedly. "Head of Nazarick's defenses… tall beauty… what's this? She's actually a nymphomaniac?"

I winced. 'Ah… right.' "I couldn't talk him out of that one." I said weakly. "It used to be 'slut', though…"

"Huh…" He kept scrolling. "Beloved by all… H-cup? Jesus, who even makes an H-cup?"

I coughed.

"…Of course. Right. Should've guessed." He mumbled. "Well… since it's the last day and all… I don't think he'd mind…"

I watched, my heart pounding, as he added a single line of code. The fateful change that would normally be his last action before the shutdown.

"And… she… loves… Momonga…" He narrated as he typed. Then he paused, cringing. "Oh, God, I sound like a geek…"

I raised an eyebrow. "Do you see me judging you?" I gestured to my two Maidens. "Me, of all people?"

He snorted. "Good point. Anything you want to do?"

I stepped over, glancing at the bio. "Eh… make her willing to be in a harem."

He gave me an incredulous look. "What?"

I smirked. "Oh, it's just a line of text that I added to both of my Maidens. If she's still here in YGGDRASIL II, Tabula will be pissed."

A partial lie, but one that would bring me much amusement if everything worked out.

The Overlord shrugged, entering the lines of text. "Is that it?"

"Yep." I paused, bringing up my own menu screen. "Wait a minute, if you're going to go out with a ridiculous amount of firepower and a ridiculous joke, then I am too!" I equipped the 'Ultimate Raid Boss' Job Class, then reached for the Staff in Momonga's hands.

He handed it to me, watching as I pulled up Shalltear's bio. I deleted the line 'Is insecure about her chest size', before switching to the design screen and using my cash shop customization tools to increase her bust size from AA to an E-cup. Then, just for the hell of it, I added the words 'Has always been deeply and passionately in love with Momonga' to her text.

Hey. She might be powerful, but I already have my eye on a different Vampire loli. One that isn't batshit crazy. And considering Momonga's always been a bit of a boob man, well, I figure I might as well. A little gift to him once he finally gets his head out of his ass, and a huge source of entertainment for mebefore that happens.

"There." I released the Staff, allowing it to float over to the side of the Throne. "Now Pero's going to be pissed, too."

He eyed the changes. "…You sure about this?"

"Oh, yeah, totally. I never regret creating oppai lolis." I glanced at the clock.

23:58:12

"…But actually, I want to try one more thing." I brought up my own status screen, clicking my Race. It brought me to the Developer page that allowed me to edit the flavor text of my Race. "What do you think I should add?"

You know. Besides the absolute bullshit I had shoveled on in heaping piles just for the hell of it.

He squinted at the text. "The Dragon Race is one of passion and might. Dragons took multiple mates and gained significantly increased power from protecting Maidens." He read. "Ah, there's quite a lot here already… something about culture, and honor, and… wow. Those shitty Devs really pulled out all the stops on this one."

"They did." I agreed smugly. "Should I add anything else, though?"

He hummed, tapping the screen. "Dragons naturally attract pure maidens…" He trailed off as he read the final line in a paragraph. Then, snickering, he began to type. "In… more… ways… than… one."

I raised an eyebrow. "You trying to turn me into some sort of sex guru?"

He just laughed, closing the page. "It's just flavor text. Nothing too serious, right?"

I didn't laugh.

The lich sighed, glancing up at his HUD clock. I did the same with mine.

23:59:17

"No time to do anything else…" The lich murmured.

"No." I agreed. We sat in silence for a few seconds before I spoke once more. "In case this fails… thanks for being my friend, Momonga."

"Same." He held out a hand. "Thanks for being there with me, Ancient One."

I shook his hand, then returned to my spot by my girls. Momonga stared out over the NPCs before him and sighed, calling out a final command. "Bow down!"

The NPCs bowed, and the Overlord closed his eyes. "It's been fun." He murmured. "In fact… it's been a blast."

I closed mine as well, praying that the miracle would occur. The time was now, and if it didn't happen… I wouldn't know what to do.

23:59:53

23:59:54

23:59:55

23:59:56

I exhaled, reaching out to take Archer's hand. 'Come on… come on…'

23:59:58

23:59:59

00:00:00

…

…

…

00:00:01

00:00:02

00:00:03

I opened my eyes, feeling another hand squeeze mine. My lips twitched into a faint smile, and I glanced up to the Throne. "Hey, Momonga—"

I stopped dead. A cold ball of dread fell in my stomach.

In all my plans, all my figures… I had never considered this.

The [Throne of Kings]sat innocently against the wall, utterly devoid of anything even remotely bone-like.

The Staff of Ainz Ooal Gown floated innocently at its side, Momonga never having picked it back up after I released it.

The Guild and the Staff were one, and it had never left my possession in the eyes of the game.

"Oh… fuck." I whispered.

"Ancient One-sama?" Archer's voice was alarmed. "What—"

I tuned her frantic speech out for the moment, closing my eyes and trying to [Message] the lich. Nothing. Not a thing. "This is bad."

Noa spoke up, reaching out to tug on my sleeve. "The old Tree is dead." She stated without emotion. "I felt it die."

I nodded absently, pulling up my Friends List just to check. "Are you all right?"

She nodded. "It knew its time was coming. It went peacefully." She looked around, a small frown tugging her lips. "But now that we're no longer in the World Tree's Branches, I'm no longer sure where we are. Nothing feels familiar." The small Spirit looked up at me, frown growing more pronounced. "I want to go back home."

"I know, love, but we have bigger problems right now." I raised my voice, looking up to address the rest of the room. "Attention all units. Momonga… Lord Momonga has vanished with no trace of any Magic. He hasn't teleported away, which leaves one of two possibilities. Either he was transported using means beyond our current knowledge, or we were, leaving him behind. Sebas, go check our surroundings. Pleiades, return to your posts. Albedo, I want you to contact every Floor Guardian to spread the message. Until further notice, operate under the assumption that Nazarick is under attack."

No pause to confirm the world's newfound tangibility. No exposition to help me understand what was going on. I knew damn well what was going on, my main concern was figuring out what the fuck went wrong. All of the NPCs were pulled with when Nazarick shifted, so why didn't my bony friend?

But most importantly… if Momonga and I were pulled two different ways… did he arrive before or after I did?

The NPCs, no the Servants, bowed and did as they were bade. The Pleiades turned to the left, Sebas and Albedo to the right. The heavy door boomed shut behind them, leaving me in silence save for the soft breathing of my Maidens.

I rubbed my eyes, exhaling. 'All right, dumbass. Calm down. It makes no difference whether Momonga is here or not. Hell, your worst-case scenario left you with a lot less than this, and you had that planned up the wazoo. If anything, you got the better end of the deal.'

'Relax. Deep breaths. Panicking won't change anything. Forget Momonga for now, you can function just fine without him. If anything, this makes things easier for me. I don't have to spend time pretending to figure things out. Now. Priorities.'

I turned to Archer, squeezing her hand lightly. Some part of me rumbled to life, drawing my attention to how appealing she looked in her form-fitting chestplate and red dress. "Would you like a kiss?" I offered on a whim, deciding to just go with the flow until I could figure it out.

She blinked, her tanned skin flushing. "I would, actually." Her voice was smooth and soft, like velvet on my ears. She coughed lightly in embarrassment as Noa turned to frown at her, the sound just as light and delicate as the rest of her seemed to be. "I mean yes, I would definitely appreciate a kiss."

I obliged, leaning in and pressing my lips against hers. She was warm and soft, easily curling into me as my arms wrapped around her. I pulled away a moment later, humming in amusement. "Thanks, love, I needed that."

"N-no problem." Archer mumbled, cheeks flushed. I could feel the dark-skinned girl's breasts pressing against my chest, even through her chestplate. I smiled contentedly, opening my arms in invitation. Both girls stepped into my embrace, their warmth a comfort that I didn't know I needed.

"Mine." I rumbled contentedly.

Noa nodded once. "Yours." She agreed softly.

Archer sighed, leaning forward to rest her head on my chest. "What are you planning to do? About… this?"

I sighed. "I… don't know yet. It depends. I'm waiting for Sebas to tell me where we are to make any decisions there."

Silence fell. Archer spoke up after a time, voice uncertain. "Is… is this a dream?"

I glanced around. "Not to my knowledge, no. I'd think I'm too irreplaceable for you to be fooled by a mere dream version of me."

I could tell she was rolling her eyes. "You're an ass." Archer mumbled accusingly, face still buried in my shirt.

"I am." I agreed, amused. "You all right, there?"

"Fine. I'm just a bit angry that I could never touch you back." She gave me a glare, steely eyes flashing. "You spent almost ten years cuddling me, and I couldn't once touch you in return. You're a real dick, you know that?"

I coughed, flushing. "I hadn't thought of it like that…"

"Too bad." She huffed, relaxing into me. "Because there's no way I'm leaving you alone now."

A thought sparked, making me glance up. "Actually, come to think of it… how much do you two remember?"

A carefully phrased question. I had deliberately made the two so they wouldn't know they had been 'created', and I was curious to see if it had worked.

Archer hummed, accepting my words without question. "I remember… most of Fuyuki, the fire and such… the Holy Grail War… my time as a Counter Guardian. My weapons all seem to be intact."

I nodded, smiling at her. "Good. I'm glad."

Inside, though, I exhaled a sigh of relief. 'Thank God that worked. That means that the flavor text addition to the game didn't ruin anything. She accepted it as her without an issue.'

I nudged Noa. "What about you?"

The sleepy kuudere pulled away slightly, cocking her head. "Are we going back home now?"

"No, my love." I pecked her on the forehead, chuckling. I had made Noa to be a bit scatterbrained, so this was on par for the course. "How much do you remember?"

She frowned faintly, brows furrowing. "I remember you." She stated simply. "I remember Archer-nee. I remember you keeping me safe for a very long time. I remember how amazing it feels to sleep in the sun…" She trailed off, frown deepening. "When are we going home? I want to take a nap."

I chuckled. "Soon, love, just a bit longer. Now, it seems like you two made the transition well. Did your Magic?"

This was the last thing that I was concerned about. I had described their Magic in detail within their flavor text, so if all that was real now…

Archer held out a hand. A gleaming broadsword formed into her hand, solidifying almost instantly. "It works perfectly." She confirmed.

I exhaled in relief. "Good. Is there anything wrong with it?"

She hesitated, examining the blade. "Well, not wrong per se…"

"Go on." I encouraged.

"It's just… I'm not encountering any resistance anymore." She sounded confused. "I should be feeling a bit of pushback, but there's nothing."

I nodded once. "All right, then. Noa?"

The Spirit yawned, a shimmering light coming to life around her. Probably some form of buff. "All good."

"Back to Gaia." Archer insisted. "Is there something wrong with it?"

I shook my head. "No, no, of course not."

"Then please. Explain."

"The version of Gaia in this world and the one we inhabited for the past ten years is vastly different than yours." I began, holding out a hand and summoning an orb of light. "It effects humans just fine, heavily limiting their Magic potential, but the non-human races don't get any pushback. Gaia sees it as 'natural' for us to be using Magic, so we're able to use it as much as we want."

"…And?" She pressed, looking irritated.

My hand shifted to her rear, where a small ribbon-like tail was hidden. I pulled it free, making her squeak in surprise. "You're not human anymore." I reminded her. I glanced at the tail, noting that it looked for all the world like one would imagine a Succubus's to be. "I, ah, couldn't make your form human all that easily because of several reasons, so I had to make you an Archdemon instead."

She blinked, cheeks still red. "I know that, but could you please let go of my tail? It's sensitive."

I chuckled to myself. 'Damn right it is. I made sure you were an Archdemon of Lust, so pretty much everywhereis supposed to be sensitive.'

"…You're thinking something perverted again, aren't you?" Archer deadpanned.

I nodded shamelessly. "I'll tell you later if you still want to know then."

She flushed, coughing. "…I'll hold you to it, then."

My smirk faded, and I released her tail. "But more seriously… do you remember your previous years as being an Archdemon?"

She nodded, face still flushed. "Yeah… female Demons don't experience some of the same… issues… as human women do, so I had to go to Albedo to make sure nothing was wrong."

"Different?" Noa prodded, suddenly curious. "Different how? And why would something be wrong?"

Archer flushed a deeper scarlet. "Demons of Lust don't have periods because we're always fertile." She mumbled. "I panicked and thought that I might've… well… something might've happened to me when I was under a sleep spell or something, and I had to be sure."

"Ah." The Spirit nodded once as if realizing something. "So you had to make sure you were still pure for Dragon-sama."

"T-that's not it at all!" Archer blurted, flushing. "I-I just didn't want to have to deal with a child before I was ready! I didn't even start wanting him until—" She coughed. "N-never mind. Forget I said anything."

I began to smirk. "Oh? And what if I don't want to forget?"

A blade materialized beside my neck. "Forget. It."

I gasped dramatically, knowing that the blade wouldn't even be able to draw blood. "Wait… has all your time around Rin turned you into a tsundere?"

The tanned Archdemon froze. "Oh God no."

"I think we should nip that in the bud now, hmm?" I said smugly, then promptly leaned down and kissed her.

Her lips were warm and soft, and she soon began to lean into it. Her tongue pressed at my lips, and I allowed her to begin exploring my mouth. I held the passionate embrace for a few more seconds then pulled away, a small string of saliva connecting our mouths.

"…Oh." Archer whispered, eyes glazed over. "That does feel good." She leaned forward, pressing another kiss to my lips. This time her entire demeanor had shifted, and she seemed almost hungry as she twined her tongue around mine.

Cling-ching~

"I bring grave news, Ancient One-sama. You may wish to hear this." 

A familiar voice made itself known, making me pull away. Archer tried to follow, seeming almost desperate as she tried to engage in another embrace.

Hmm. I hadn't considered that an overly amorous Archdemon might ever be a problem. Food for thought.

"Sebas." I spoke aloud, making Archer pause and reluctantly pull away. Noa blinked once, perking up. "What is it?"

"Sir… we appear to be in a forest of some kind. I can see plains in the distance, and some mountains I believe. The air here is clear of poison or other harmful substances, and the forest seems bright and healthy."

"So nothing close to where we were." I scratched my chin, thinking for a moment. "Judging by your description, we would most likely be in Midgard if this were YGGDRASIL… Noa?"

She frowned. "Don't know. This World is… strange."

I sighed, glancing at my open Skill window. The World Map passive hadn't activated, and the map only registered a single dot labelled 'Nazarick'.

The World Map wasn't a common feature in YGGDRASIL. You had to unlock the passive Skill by having a certain number of Levels in the Sage Job Class while completing a Quest called 'The Cartographer's Vision'. As one might imagine, I found that out completely by chance and was rather pissed when I realized that no one in their right mind would ever realize it was there.

…Not pissed enough to tell anyone else about it, of course. That would just be retarded.

"We may have to explore." I decided, slightly disappointed. If Momonga was here I could've left the exploring to him and gone to have sex with my Maidens instead.

Hey. Priorities.

I raised a hand to my ear, activating [Message]. "Sebas, I want you to return to your post. Once I've made sure that all of Nazarick's facilities are fully functioning, I'm going to organize an exploration party. Stand by until then."

"Understood, my lord."

I lowered my hand and ended the Spell, sighing. "I'm sorry, my love. It seems that the worst has come to pass. Please, take Noa back home and watch over her until I return. If the World Tree truly is dead… then she's all that's left. If she dies, I'm not sure what will happen to this World."

Archer nodded reluctantly, taking Noa by the hand. "Be safe."

Noa frowned, clinging tighter to me. "I don't want to leave."

My lips twitched, and I leaned down to pull her into a kiss. "Don't worry, beloved, you'll be safe with Archer. And besides, I'm sure you're tired, aren't you? We have been up all day preparing for… well, preparing. Why don't you and Archer go sleep it off? I'll probably be working all night, so by the time you wake I'll be back."

The Nature Spirit considered my words. "…Will Archer-nee hold me while we sleep?"

Archer smiled, wrapping her in a hug. "Of course, Noa. And in the morning, I'll make breakfast for the both of us."

She finally released my sleeve, nodding. "Okay."

I smiled. "Archer, do you have the Guild Ring?"

"Of course."

"Then go ahead and lock the door behind you. I'll see you both in the morning."

Noa waved slightly. "Bye."

I waved back, and the two flickered out of existence.

I would experiment and 'experiment' more with them later. Honestly this situation never occurred to me—I had my Inventory upgraded to infinite and stocked with everything I might need to survive a couple centuries, and I was also prepared to go through canon at the same time as Momonga… but being in the New World with Nazarick and no Momonga, presumably centuries before or after the skeleton arrives?

No. I can adapt. Just because I had previous plans doesn't mean I can't make new ones as I go along. Step one, run basic maintenance on Nazarick, checking things over. I have to operate under the assumption that we're in this for the long haul, which means I'll have to bring out my plans for the long game far before when I would've otherwise.

For now, I'll just ignore Momonga entirely; as far as I'm concerned, he doesn't exist. I'll have to figure that out later, now I have more pressing matters to attend to.

In any given scenario, I always had a simple bare-bones plan laid out for my entry into the New World. I added two steps onto the end to account for my current situation, running them all through my mind in order of priority.

Step one. Test all Crafting mechanics, make sure they all work as expected. If they don't, use the Orbs of Regret designed to let me re-allocate Job Levels into a different Class. There's no point in being a craftsman if none of the Class Skills function.

Step two. See if new Skills can be learned. If they can, learn the New World-only Skills as soon as possible. In-game, one could give an Item the ability to grant its' user a Skill or Job Class. If Crafting works, there's a good chance I've gained the Classes I planned to.

Step three. Check on my farms. Yes, I have farms. No, they didn't function in-game. But now that we're in the real world, they should function just fine, giving us an infinite supply of food and EXP. If EXP even works in this world, that is.

Step four. Ensure that Nazarick is fully hidden. This ties back to step one, since many of the decorations on the surface level of Nazarick are Items I made using a small bit of Magic and a whole lot of bullshit. If we're not hidden, we have a big problem.

And finally, step five. Discover the current area and time period. If we're in the past, set up camp and prepare for a long wait. Make changes to canon as necessary, yes, but do so cautiously. If we're in the future, assume Momonga arrived before us and find him. If we arrived at the start of canon… burn the world, I guess? I never really cared all that much for the storyline, but I do know that the Slane Theocracy needs to be nuked once or twice. After that everything should work out.

I turned away, activating my own Guild Ring and disappearing in a flash of light.

It was time to finally test the preparations I had been making for the better part of ten years.

Let me prelude my projects with a simple question.

If you had the power to add any flavor text to a Crafted Item with the knowledge that it may one day become real, what would you do?

…

…

…

Yeah, it's harder than it sounds, isn't it? At that point you could make an Item that summons the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man for shits and giggles or, I don't know, one that creates an enslaved Esdeath for your enjoyment.

But when you stop and think about it… that wouldn't make sense, would it? Where would the ability come from to summon something like that? In YGGDRASIL that kind of power would either take Mana or require you to use Data in your weapon to hold that sort of functionality. But if you just add that flavor text to a feather and expect it to summon a marshmallow man, you'll probably end up gesturing vaguely at the sky and wondering when he's going to show up.

So instead of trying our luck at making ourselves God-Emperor of the Heavens with a few lines of text, let's assume there are some restrictions, seeing as even Magic has its limits. The Items don't miraculously become game-breaking wonders capable of fathomless power when you add extra fluff to them. They still operate under the game's explicit rules, after all, and you can't just wave your hand and say 'BECAUSE IT WORKS!'. These Items are Magic, not World Items.

With all this in mind, I sat down and made a list of limits for myself to follow while making the Items.

First restriction—the Item's flavor text has to describe a mechanic that could feasibly be added to the game. I can't make a scarf and say 'it gives the wearer the power to kill anyone they want instantly', since the game forbids truly instant death. Even the highest-Tier Spells take a second or two to activate, and another half second to take effect. I could, however, say that the scarf gives the wearer access to [True Death], a Spell that one would be able to get through normal gameplay if they had the correct Classes.

Second restriction—the Item has to have enough free Data space not used for enchantments or Stat boosters. It has to support the flavor text as if it were added as an extra enchantment. This isn't too hard to get around if you're Crafting the Item yourself, you just have to create an empty Divine-Class Item and stuff it with empty Data Crystals. Presto, instant Item with zero modifications whatsoever.

Third restriction—the flavor text has to apply an effect as if it were an actual enchantment. I know this one sounds redundant considering the other two, but there's good reason. In the game, the better the enchantments you added, the more specific the requirements were to use the Item. In this case, it's just common sense. Sure, I may be able to just make a sword with the power to 'set everything it hits on fire', but if I didn't then say 'Requires at least one Level in Pyromancer', it might not work. Reality is still a reflection of a video game, after all, and every Magic System has limits.

Fourth restriction—avoid absolutes like the plague. If I gave a weapon 'infinite power', what would that do to reality? If I gave a pair of dice the ability to make 'perfect rolls', would they come up differently? Roll twelves every time? Would they develop a form of intelligence in order to read the situation and react accordingly? Hell, would they become sentient? I long ago decided that I reallydidn't want to find out.

Of course, any one of these restrictions on text could prove false. I could be wasting my time trying to fit into a box that isn't there. But if I don't add that box, then the possibilities for what I could do were literally infinite.

Don't get me wrong. I still plan on using the next century or so of my life to test exactly what I can and can't do with flavor text. I still have all my Levels in Blacksmith and Weapon Smith, in addition five Levels in a Rare Class I picked up called 'Arcane Smith'. I should be able to edit flavor text just fine so long as I Craft the Item myself.

So, obviously, my first priority is to test the effects of exactly that.

I appeared in my smithy, a hidden area on Floor 7 I had decked out in everything a man might need to forge weapons. Not just the medieval way, either, hell no. I went all-out, buying an advanced Data Pack from the cash shop so I could insert things like belt sanders and lathes. Everything in here was made unbreakable via flavor text, a completely legitimate move due to there being enchantments that allowed the same thing.

I ignored those things for the moment, moving over to a solid metal bin that I had made myself with my Smithing Skill. It looked rather like someone had just welded a few low-Level tower shields together, because honestly that's what had happened. Despite me being able to make custom models of everything from welding torches to turning tables, the ability to make a plain box of metal was apparently something no one ever thought to include in the game. Hence the odd appearance of the box.

The outside didn't matter, though, not in the least. No, what mattered was what it might allow me to do. Namely, I had made it say it 'reset' itself every time the lid closed, drawing on surrounding Mana to refill itself.

I opened the lid, examining the contents for a moment. It was stocked to the brim with bricks of every metal and Prismatic Ore in the game, compacted and fit neatly inside the large cube. I picked up a brick of iron, setting it aside and closing the lid. I waited a moment, then re-opened it. Once more, the sight of a fully stocked bin greeted me, the missing brick once more in place despite the fact that it was currently sitting on a workbench to my left.

I grinned.

Fuck yes. Infinite Items glitch confirmed.

I closed the lid once more, deciding to leave messing with that particular oddity for another day. Instead, my hands reached up to brush the Circlet I had made in anticipation of this very event.

If that had worked, then it stood to reason…

I inhaled, exhaled, then pulled up my Stats screen.

Alchemist (15)

Sage (15)

Blacksmith (15)

Weapon Smith (10)

Item Smith (10)

Armor Smith (10) 

Runesmith (10) 

Wild Magic Caster (10)

Martial Artist (10)

Arcane Smith (5)

The Ultimate Raid Boss (5)

Savior of Worlds (5)

Purveyor of Eternity (5)

Sentinel of the Fallen World (5)

Soldier of the Wastelands (5)

Etc.

I grinned, silently fist-pumping. It had worked. I was stuck at Level 191 due to the EXP drain from Wild Magic Caster Leveling itself, but that was easily fixed now that I was confident in this world's sway over various Items.

I leaned over to where a large wooden box rested, opening my Storage and plunging a hand into the murky depths. After a while of rummaging, I finally pulled out a single [Mirror of Kalandra]. Then I tugged the Experience Ring off my finger, almost buzzing in anticipation.

In the game, the Mirror could only ever copy the Item itself, but never the metadata. That meant that while I could make copies of the EXP ring, they were entirely empty and entirely useless. The caveat of the Mirror is that Mirrored Items cannot be changed in any way, which is a big fucking problem when your ring's only purpose is to increase a very specific numeric value.

But here…

I placed my ring on the Mirror, watching in fascination as the reflective surface came to life. It crawled over the surface of the ring, paused, then slowly returned to being a flat surface. I extended my finger, and the silver material stretched out to wrap around it. It withdrew a moment later, a perfect replica around my finger. The mirror remained in place, sitting innocently in my hand even though its purpose had been fulfilled.

My eyes widened as I considered the World Item. Did the New World let World Items be reused? No, that wouldn't make sense…

Unless…

'…Oh, damn.'

I reached back to where [Once in a Lifetime]was woven into my warrior's braid. A World Item specifically designed to let one use non-Crafting Items an infinite number of times.

It didn't matter much in the long run considering how many copies of each Item I had stored up in my Storage, but still… damn, Devs. What were you smoking when you let this thing affect other World Items?

I shook my head in bemusement, putting back the Mirror and setting my original ring off to the side. I slid on the Mirrored EXP ring, concentrating for a moment until I found the mental switch to activate it. It began to glow, brighter and brighter, until finally the whole thing dissolved. No notifications assaulted me, much to my surprise. That was one difference, the game never failed to tell you when you raised your Level. Odd.

I cleared my throat. "Show Player Level."

[Ancient One]

Level 256

A long, low whistle escaped me. "That's… that's something." A sudden thought occurred, and I cursed. "Dammit, I really should've thought that one through. My Dragon form is going to be fucking huge."

Unless…

Well.

It was time to test the Skills I had honed to perfection over my years of gaming. I picked up the brick I had removed from the box, heading over to the anvil and equipping my [Crafting Hammer].

In case you're wondering, no, this isn't a Magic Item.

It's a World Item.

Yes, they do exist for Crafting Classes, and no, I did not tell a soul I had one such Item. As for what it does, well, let's just say it deals zero damage whatsoever but gives boosts to Crafting Skills and allows for me to apply absolutely bullshit mods to any Item I make with it.

I placed the iron brick into the lava-powered forge, waited for it to heat, then picked it up with my bare hands to begin the process of forming it into something useful. I decided on a plain ring to begin with, my hands moving of their own accord as my Smithing Skill went to work. Despite having never lifted a hammer in my life, I somehow knew exactly where to strike with the tool to draw the iron out into a bar. I grabbed a chisel to cut off the unneeded iron, tossing the unused section aside for a later project. Then I took the still-hot metal over to the lathe in the corner, boring a hole out in the center.

Job done, I smoothed out the edges with some sandpaper and set it down to admire my work.

Item Creation success!

Name: /~~~~~~/—High-Class Item

Description: /~~~~~~/

I stared at the box for flavor text, wordlessly closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.

Evil cackling could be saved for later. Restrain yourself, Ko.

I began to type, fingers blurring across the keyboard as I filled in the empty box with words. I kept it simple, hoping to test it out as soon as possible.

Ancient One's Ring—High-Class Item

Prevents Skill 'Natural Growth' from calculating past Level 100 while equipped.

Does not cost extra Mana to sustain buff: [Size Down].

Buff: [Size Down] can be stacked as many times as needed.

I slid the ring on, nodding to myself. It was more of a cursed item than anything, really, seeing as it only granted a disadvantage, but I didn't care. It fit snugly, and it would keep me from becoming more of a behemoth. If I ever needed to use my maximum size, I could just take off the ring before transforming.

Just to make sure it was working, I activated a single [Size Down]. My perception altered slightly, everything in the room suddenly taller by comparison. I waited patiently, but there was no drain of power from the Buff.

Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

If anything, this new Crafting system was even more broken than the previous one. And if there was one thing I loved, it was a broken Crafting system.

Satisfied, I turned and left the area, cancelling the Buff. A flash of Magic later, and I was walking into the main portion of Floor 8.

Now that my personal curiosities were out of the way, it was time to examine the rest of Nazarick.

Item one: complete.

Item two: Farms.

"Aureole Omega." I called, stepping out into the Cherry Blossom Sanctuary. "Are you here?"

"Yes, my lord."

I turned, seeing a bowing woman clad in traditional shrine maiden garb. The maid was in charge of the teleportation gates in Nazarick, but more importantly, she was in charge of my next attempt at an experiment.

"Ah, Aureole." I smiled at her. "Rise. No need for formalities, I'm just checking around, seeing if anything is broken. Tell me, are the Farms still working as they should?"

The Farms. An area of Nazarick that didn't technically exist. It wasn't a trick of the flavor text, not really, rather a clever method of using NPCs to do my work for me. I had set every one of them up as simple Level 1 Elves, each dedicated to farming a different section of land that I had flattened for their use. As far as they were concerned, they were farmers that had been tending to their crop all their lives. They knew everything there was to know about their crop, and thanks to the Second-Tier [Grow Plant] Spell that they all knew, they could conceivably beat world records for farming.

One slight problem existed, however.

In YGGDRASIL, you couldn't grow usable materials, only plants that vanished after a while. If you wanted something, you had to get it from a drop or trade with another Player. However, in the New World, 'Farmer' was a Job Class that Enri Emmot and the rest of her village all had.

So I made a decision. A decision to try to give NPCs Classes that they were never intended to have through clever preparation.

"Apologies, my lord, but I'm afraid there's an issue." Aureole reported, straightening. "All the crops we planted before are now missing. The ground is fertile and the dirt is freshly turned, but all we have are chests of seeds and no actual plants are growing."

I nodded sagely, as if I hadn't personally made sure the metal chests in question were set to say 'filled with all seeds needed by the owner when opened'. "I understand. Please, continue."

She nodded. "The animals are just fine, they're spawning naturally in the spots we set for them."

Another simple trick, this time using POP mobs. The other Players found it hilarious when I told them I had set Floor 8 to only spawn various low-Level animals. Some of them even jokingly suggested we build catapults to launch the Primeval Cows and Death Pheasants at our foes. I laughed along, assuring the people who complained that I would change the settings if anyone ever invaded again.

"That's wonderful news, Aureole." I smiled at her. "As long as the crops can be replanted and the livestock can still be slaughtered, Nazarick can survive indefinitely on its own. Thank you, and thank the farmers as well. You all truly are the backbone of Nazarick."

Aureole seemed to glow at the praise, bowing once more. "Thank you very much, my lord. It means a lot to us."

I nodded once, raising my Guild Ring. "Keep up the fantastic work, and be sure to drop off the regular amount off at the kitchens come dinnertime."

The world flickered, and I felt my feet touch the ground in front of the Wilderness area of Floor 8. Unlike the Cherry Blossom Sanctuary, it had its own spawn area specifically made to churn out seemingly infinite numbers of high-Level mobs. Part of the reason I had gotten away with the peaceful mob farm was because of this area.

And what an area it was.

Guild Bases have costs to maintaining certain areas depending on the number of living creatures inhabiting them, it was true. The higher-Level mob you spawned, the higher the 'maintenance' cost that the game charged you. The Wilderness of Floor 8 was the only area in Nazarick that could spawn extremely high-Level wildlife, which made the obvious solution simply to disable that area's spawn rate.

But I thought that was stupid and wasteful, so I came up with a different idea. One that was most definitely more useful than turning off spawns entirely.

See, the server checked the number of mobs present only when it was a definite, stable number. A protocol put into place to prevent the server from lagging whenever a huge number of mobs spawned in. I took this as my point of interest, a simple experiment turning the area into a literal minefield of dangerous traps.

Mobs never spawned on top of traps. As such, if you covered the entire Wilderness with them, you could control exactly where they all spawned. And if you had a high-Level NPC constantly killing the gathered mobs, forever keeping the number of high-Level mobs inconstant… well. You basically had a free security system. If any Player set off a trap, that trap would no longer prevent spawning there, and every mob created would immediately crowd onto that exact location. Positively evil to any intruders, especially the invaders that had once targeted this place. A perfect trap.

Or, now that this was the New World, a free mob farm.

"Rubedo!" I shouted.

Silence.

I sighed, pulling up my Map. Before I could find her icon, however, a voice spoke up from behind me. "Here."

I stopped in place, silently shutting my eyes. Rubedo was a unique existance that had come into being with the collective knowledge of both Tabula Smaragdina and myself. Tabula based each of his NPCs off a different theme of Lovecraftian lore. Untouchable beauty leading to death, unreachable horror influencing from afar, and most importantly, the fear of the unknown.

Albedo, Nigredo, and Rubedo.

Whiteness, Blackness, and Redness.

As the very manifestation of 'the unknown', Rubedo had a very specific skillset that made her unquestionably the most dangerous being in Nazarick bar none.

She could literally drive people insane.

In Nazarick that translated to a character that cast a frankly ridiculous amount of Debuffs and Curses upon a very specific event occurring, namely a character's field of view touching her Avatar. From Blindness to Deafness to their opposites, Flash and Cacophany. The drawback to the gear she used to achieve such an effect was that each individual effect had only about a 15% chance to activate, but when there were over fifty separate effects firing at once…

Well.

Let's just say it isn't pleasant.

The 'Unknown effect', as I refer to it, can only be recast on a character once every five seconds, but that completely reshuffles the Debuffs and Curses that may have taken effect. One moment you might be blind and deaf, the next you're hearing loud screeching wails at top volume while your eyes are scorched by a Flash.

And that's just her gimmick. The thing that she hits you with as a casual 'oh, and there's this too'. Rubedo is a Level 100 Flesh Golem specializing in Spacial Magic, someone whose raw Stats are enough to one-shot anyone under Level 80 with a casual backhand. Her actual battle strategy is something almost no one can match, with her spamming [Gate], [Teleportation], and [Temporal Chains] to skip around even while firing off [Reality Slash]like it's going out of style. In the Wilderness here, with trees to hide her and nothing to halt her progress, she's practically unstoppable even before she starts breaking out the AoE Spells.

Now that her flavor text is real, and the simulation of madness is reality? She can quite literally make you go insane.

"All right." A, dare I say, cutesy voice spoke up. "It's off now."

I turned around, smiling faintly at her. "Thank you, Rubedo."

Oh. And did I mention she looks like a little girl?

Rubedo sighed, folding her arms. "You don't need to talk to me like that, you know. I've been alive long enough to remember what you were like before you settled down."

Rubedo had dark blue eyes and long black hair with a fringe and long bangs on either side of her face. She wore a gothic lolita outfit of a red so dark it was almost black and carried a parasol of the same shade, spinning it lazily over a shoulder. As a favor to me for my help in making her, Tabula let me add a bit of flavor text to her, tweaking her existing personality just slightly to give a background to her character.

A single line of text, nothing too special, but still more than enough to drive her character in a different direction entirely.

Served under Ancient One during the Cataclysm, brought back in her current form to serve once more.

"Unlike the rest of the fools here, I was there when the Ten Thousand Worlds fell." She stated, voice flat. "I was there when you stepped out of obscurity to force the Last Worlds into order, beating down those who tried to take power and control the Nine Worlds for themselves. Back when you singlehandedly exterminated entire armies of invaders all by yourself, standing as a lone sentinel of Yggdrasil's last hope."

I held my smile, speaking up. "You speak as if you're innocent, Witch of the Void."

She snorted, twirling her parasol. "Please. I'm not claiming I'm a saint, we both know that's far from the truth. I'm just saying you don't have to act like some noble ruler around me. I've seen you when you were covered in blood and screaming at the sky, there's not much dignity in that."

I shrugged. "Dignity has never been a large concern of mine. War strips everything away, and if you aren't willing to sacrifice your pride, you'll be cut down by those who are. I seem to recall dead men calling you a coward."

"Hmm." Rubedo smiled, the parasol against her shoulder stopping its' motion. "Glad to see you haven't lost your bite. I once wondered if bringing me back in this form was some sort of sentimentality."

I shrugged modestly. "Think of it as an old man's whims."

"Oh, come now." Her smile turned a tad vicious. "You put me in charge of a literal execution chamber you didn't want seen by your softer friends, no? I do my duty exactly as needed. You are the Impossible Man, after all… and no one seems to ask how exactly you pulled off all of your impossible feats."

The Impossible Man. The title given to my Pugilist Avatar during my famous ascent to Level 100. To me, it was merely a matter of killing mobs until I Leveled, but to a resident of YGGDRASIL? I essentially committed mass genocide. Perspective changed things, that was for sure. Apparently her background text chose to settle on my previous Avatar as the representation of my 'violent days'.

It would be fascinating to learn more, perhaps figure out how she had perceived my transformation into a Dragon, but that was something for another time. I had come for a reason, and slyly coaxing information out of a loli war veteran certainly wasn't it.

"Speaking of…" I began slowly, looking around. "How is the Farm doing?"

Her lips twitched. "Oh? You've come to check on Nazarick's butchery?"

"Indeed." I lowered my voice. "Listen. Nazarick has moved. We're in an unknown area with no sign of any transportation methods we know of. Momonga disappeared from the throne room, and as of right now we're on high alert."

Any traces of humor or sarcasm disappeared. "Understood. I felt the transition, but wasn't aware that it was non-voluntary. Do you need my aid?"

"Negative. Keep watch over this zone, I'll let you know if you're needed. For now, you're our first line of defense against any enemies with Teleportation Magic. Aureole may control our Teleportation Gates, but you control the Barrier. As such, I need you to remain within the walls."

She nodded her head once. No complaint, no hesitation. Merely acceptance. "Understood."

"Wonderful." I glanced around. "Now, for the reason I'm here. I need to check, make sure that the Farm is still functional. If it's not…"

Rubedo nodded seriously. "Believe me, I understand. I had the same thought myself. It all seems to be working, but in a different manner. Before, the World Tree instantly recycled all the organic matter from the dead monsters, but now that…" She trailed off, coughing lightly into a hand. "Now that the Tree isn't doing that, we're left with a much larger turnout, though it takes more effort to harvest the materials from them."

I smiled. "Excellent. I actually had a plan in case the Tree ever stopped 'recycling', but you'll have to take me over to the main area."

…What, did you think I could just walk in? Come on. Do recall the many thousands of traps that make this farm possible.

Rubedo smirked, serious attitude slipping. "There's the man I knew. Planning for everything, even the unthinkable. Come, come, I'm quite curious to see what sort of backup plan you have this time."

Behind her, a circle spun to life. Two triangles spiraled out, expanding rapidly until the faint circle around them was large enough to reach the treetops. The air itself darkened, draining of color until it was naught but a swirling black mass of nothingness. Rubedo wordlessly stepped backwards, vanishing from view. I followed without a second thought.

The inside of the Mob Farm was a simple thing, if a bit odd-looking. An obsidian box for the inhabitants with a flat area all around it. The obsidian was spawnproof, but the flat area outside was not. The flat area was an enormous checkerboard of sorts, with alternating squares of 'safe' ground and a patch thin air that led to an enormous open Gate a layer below. A mob would spawn on the stone, then instantly get hit by the AoE Debuff the area had. They would quickly die, then be replaced with another the instant they no longer took up space. Their loot would fall into the Gate below, and the process repeated.

Rubedo of course had her own house elsewhere in the Wilderness zone, likely only coming by to check every half-day or so. The Gate, which she controlled, funneled all the loot into an area outside the Wilderness for later use.

In-game, summoned mobs rarely dropped anything, making the farm almost useless. But here?

Heh.

"So, Rubedo…" I began. "You know how Kyouhukou's children are always hungry? Well, if you flick this switch to turn on the item filter…"

Click.

The box of obsidian around us rumbled faintly, and the Gate flickered slightly.

"…You get a Gate that sends different things different places." I finished with a shit-eating grin.

No. That's not something that ever existed before. But if I bullshit hard enough, she'll overlook the game-breaking possibilities it might allow.

This 'item filter' is a trial, of sorts. Yes, you caught me, the Item powering the Gate was tampered with. Oh, the Item itself is perfectly legitimate, a Golem Core that would continue to cast the Spell indefinitely. Relatively inexpensive to make and easy to replace if it ever stopped working. The Golem was non-sentient, but tweaking its flavor text allowed me to experiment with the possibilities.

If I can convince this Golem that it has control over what can and can't go through… then I effectively have a new method of permanent transport usable only by people I choose.

Wrap your head around that, why don't you.

"I see." Rubedo caught on, looking down. "Kyouhukou's children won't eat the parts that are useful, since going near such potent Magical power will kill them. They'll eat off the flesh, leaving only the bones and the more valuable pieces. Then, I assume, you have another one set up on his end?"

"Precisely. Each type of monster will only go to a specific area of Kyouhukou's domain, which also serves the purpose of letting us test how monster flesh affects cockroach growth." I lied with a straight face. I had made that last part up on the fly, and truth be told I hadn't even activated Kyouhukou's area yet. I didn't even know if Gates could teleport just specific Items, I hadn't even tested if the Golem could discriminate between living and non-living things yet.

"Excellent." Rubedo smiled, twirling her parasol. "I'll have to check more often for a while just to make sure things are working, but otherwise that sounds like a wonderful plan."

"Thank you." I bowed grandly. "Thank you very much."

"…I can always count on you to come up with the most efficient methods of mass murder." She finished with a coy smirk.

"You know it." I agreed.

"Never change, Ancient One." She hummed, opening another Gate and stepping through. "Never change…"

I watched her go with a bemused smile. She was a unique character, to be sure, but her unique perspective would ensure her loyalty indefinitely. I would best be described as Chaotic Good… but she was closer to Chaotic Neutral. We would most likely agree on certain things, but she lacked the fundamental empathy for living things that others had. She found amusement in the ideas I came up with, especially the most brutal of them, simply because she found it interesting to watch how effective they were.

Of course, having seen how 'effective' I am first-hand during a war I never fought… she would no doubt avoid seeing it ever again.

Loyalty through respect and fear. Not love, merely business. My harem is already planned out, thank you very much.

Plus, I have a rule about batshit crazy women. It's quite simple common sense—don't stick your dick into anything that might one day chop it off. And no matter how alluring some of the girls in Nazarick were, I could count on one hand the number of them who would hesitate to do so.

I'll stick with my waifus, thank you very much.

I nodded once, raising my Guild Ring and teleporting back to my forge. Getting out of the area was simple as long as one had a Guild Ring, even if getting in was a tad difficult. Getting into Kyouhukou's domain would be much simpler, the last remaining steps to finishing the Farm likely only taking a few minutes to complete.

Now that the Farms were working and my Crafting Skills were proven to function, it was time for the hardest steps.

Seeing if my changes to the NPCs had worked as planned, and trying to experiment with my new Job Classes with absolutely zero guidance.

This… was going to take a while.

I stepped back into my mansion at last sometime before sunrise, rubbing my tired eyes. Dragons could remain awake for months on end if they had to, but apparently they still felt the urge to sleep after long hours of work.

Let me give you a quick rundown of what I learned:

Don't set yourself on fire. It hurts, a lot.

…Yeah, that's about it. I really don't feel like giving more than that. Not when the promise of a comfortable bed is so close at hand.

What? You say that Dragons are fireproof?

Well tell that to the fucking evil flame that I summoned entirely by accident, multiple times. Apparently Wild Magic doesn't give a shit about natural resistances, it just wants to destroy things. Which includes the plain boxer shorts my Avatar was wearing, apparently. My pants are fine, but now my boys are swinging in the wind.

I never planned for fireproof underwear, but that just goes to show that no one can plan for everything.

"You're back."

I felt a pair of soft breasts press against my back, the thin layer of cloth cluing me in to their owner's identity. I smiled faintly, Noa's delicate arms winding around my waist. "Good morning, love." I murmured. "How did you sleep?"

"…"

Noa just buried her face in my back, tightening her hold. I chuckled, patting her hand. "Let's go get some rest, all right? It's a few hours until breakfast, and I'm sure Archer won't mind if we slip into bed again."

"Mmm." She let go, moving to instead capture my arm between ample breasts. I noted that she was dressed in only a pink nightgown, no undergarments to be seen. "Okay."

…I must say, I'm glad I chose to make her shameless. I can see her nipples right through her thin gown.

Heh.

Something to investigate later, for sure.

I let her tug me up the stairs and into our bedroom, silently opening the door and closing it behind us. "Remember to change out of your work clothes before bed." Noa whispered, pointing to the bathroom. "Archer might get mad if you don't."

I pressed a kiss to her forehead. I guess I really must've smelled like the forge to her. "Don't worry, I will. Now go have a seat on the bed, I'll join you shortly."

After I had wiped the grime and residue from my time at the forge off my face, I pulled out a plain pair of shorts and a tank top before joining Noa by the side of the bed. Archer lay to one side, sleeping peacefully. I slid under the covers, and Noa moved to slide in after me. Soon I had an affectionate Nature Spirit snuggled into my side, a casual tug bringing Archer into the embrace as well.

I fell asleep soon after, lulled by the sound of my girls' soft breathing.

"Uuaaah." Noa watched with wide eyes as the sun rose over the treetops, expressionless face set in a blank mask. "It looks different here."

We were standing outside Nazarick with several other NPC, er, Servants, waiting for it to be light enough for basic exploration. Noa was reluctantly allowed on after she flatly refused to stay, with the sole proviso being that she stay right next to me and Archer the entire time. Sebas led a different party of half the Pleiades, and Yuri Alpha led the other half. We were to split up in three directions, then meet back up in an hour.

Yes, Momonga used a Mirror of Remote Viewing for this, but as low-Level as the inhabitants of this world are, they are at least capable of the low-Tier anti-search Spells that would make the Mirror completely useless. So we were heading out in small groups instead, making sure to keep a Teleportation Spell ready in case we needed to run.

No, I wasn't planning on running, but that was the bare minimum that Albedo would be satisfied with. I'm not going to just flat-out ignore her advice, she's my chief of security for a reason. And who knows? I might encounter the Evil Tree or something and have reason to flee. Astronomically unlikely, but still possible.

"Lord Ancient One." Sebas rumbled. "I believe all is ready for us to set out. The Golems you created are already on their way, and we'll know if anything goes awry."

"Excellent." I smiled, stretching in the light of the new sun. "Then let's go."

A/N:

I said Ainz would be coming with. I never said when, though. :)

You know, once upon a time this was going to be a stereotypical 'MC joins Ainz and takes over the world' story. But then I started writing, and my characters gradually came to life. 

Nearly every review on this story praises my story because it's different from the stereotype. So I decided to crank it up to eleven.

Of course, that makes my job a whole lot harder…

But hey. I'm doing it. The MC is two hundred years in the past, waiting for our skeleton man to surface. He has time to get his feet under him, to explore the New World, to combat some of the threats of the future while he's still in the past.

Oh. And enough time to snatch up Evileye for The Harem™.

Thank you to all the people who reviewed, especially those who went out of their way to post reviews meant only to increase my review count. I'm not saying that's what you should do, just that it was very kind. To all of you joining us, welcome! We're all insane here, but somehow we get things done. I read all my reviews and try to make my story reflect what everyone wants, not just myself, so if you have an opinion feel free to voice it.

To the one reviewer who expressed concerns, this will not devolve into a pure porno. There will be smut, but it's there because it's a logical progression from one stage to the next. The plot will continue, but so will the 'plot'. I hope that you won't be to put off by it when it happens, especially since I'll be giving advanced warning. We'll see how it ends up.

Now, since people have been repeatedly requesting it, my general estimate for when the next chapter will be out is about five days. I've mostly grown bored of PoE so that probably won't be an issue again, fortunately. I know where I'm going with the story, and I have a few bare-bones chapters already written up just to make it easier later on.

I… think that's about it.