ocp4

Chapter 4—Party of One

My home was a beautiful mansion on Floor 9. Nazarick was originally only six floors, but under Momonga's leadership we had long since expanded it to ten. Floors 1-8 were made to produce a veritable wall of monsters at an incredible rate, all the while keeping any invaders at a constant disadvantage using the environment. Floor 9 contained Guild Members' and NPCs' rooms. It also included imitations of large communal baths, cafeterias, beauty salons, clothing stores, grocery stores, fitness salons, nail salons and numerous other types of facility rooms. These facilities were made just for decoration by my fellow Guild Members, but I wasn't one to kick up a fuss about that. One day their attention to detail would ensure my life of luxury, after all.

Besides. They gave me a sizable chunk of land to build my mansion on anyway, since they all knew I wouldn't be using much of the rest of the Great Tomb. I customized it even further with cash transactions, making my area ideal for my inhabitation. I abused the Devs' temporary console commands to their utmost limit, making an area over fifteen kilometers in all directions.

To put that into perspective, I'm about five kilometers long and four tall at Level 100. Mount Everest is only eight kilometers. The fricking Marianas Trench is only about eleven.

The area that I call home is large enough to qualify as a large city, something that came at the cost of it being completely inaccessible to the rest of Floor 9 without cutting through Floor 8 first. I didn't really care, though, considering it more of a security feature than a flaw. The area held some of almost every biome, from forest to tundra to wide open fields. The edge of the area held a large caldera lake, crystal clear and lacking any life or pollution. Magma bubbled in odd locations, lava hardened above it into odd ridges that had a wide array of different plant life growing out of the fertile soil created by the ash of the sunken volcano.

I spent resources like a madman while making my paradise, sinking as much or more into that single space than all of my friends did in the entire rest of the Tomb. I planted the World Tree Sapling right in front of the lake before my mansion atop a spike of black rock, deep within a patch of volcanic soil. The magnificent sight of the tree stretching into the sky was more than worth the use of Ouroboros to obtain. Even if the Tree was relatively tiny now, it would grow indefinitely. In a thousand years' time I would be able to replant it somewhere else, somewhere without a roof to contain it.

Of course, as soon as Ulbert saw it…

"What on God's earth is that?" The goat Demon gawked up at the steadily growing tree.

I glanced at it, lounging back on my expansive lawn. Despite the rocky magma outcroppings in the area by the lake, I still had plenty of flat fields to lounge on. It wasn't easy being several kilometers long, but I had more than enough space to make it work. "Ah, that's the World Tree Sapling. Don't mind it, it's mainly for decoration."

He stared wordlessly for a few minutes. "Is it some sort of cash item?"

"Of course not." I scoffed. "I did use a lot of cash item kits and such to design this place, but that is a genuine game item. The only one of its' kind, in fact."

"What does it do?" He reached out a claw, tentatively tapping the bark. It was a magnificent honey-gold color, shimmering from within with a soothing glow.

"In-game? Nothing." I paused, glancing at my status screen. "Well, scratch that, it gives me a Title that compensates for me not being able to use armor."

"Wait. Wait. Wait." He turned to me, incredulous. "Is this what you used that first Ouroboros on? The one you spent a year hunting for?"

I coughed, suddenly self-conscious. "Um… yes?"

"Why?"

I shrugged, a motion that rippled through my entire body. "Well, to be honest, I just wanted it. The flavor text is legit, it's a genuine sapling of the World Tree. I'm guarding it from the 'terrible monster' that seems so driven to kill the original."

"Really? Had it ever shown up to fight you for it?"

I thought for a moment. "Well, the Devs tried to troll me once with a random encounter that might've been it, but I pretty much just cancelled my [Size Down] buffs and sat on it. It dropped some pretty sweet loot, too."

Ulbert took a deep breath, rubbing his temples. I doubted it helped. "Why on Earth would you use a World Item for something like this."

"Because." I stated simply.

My logic was utterly infallible, as evidenced by Ulbert's complete lack of an intelligible response.

I mean, cussing isn't considered intelligible, is it?

Once the Demon calmed down, I spoke up. "So, why did you come all the way up here? It's hardly an easy trek, seeing as this area is inaccessible through the main area of Floor 9."

Ulbert exhaled, rubbing his eyes. "I came to pick up that weapon you promised me. The staff, remember?"

"…Hence why you wanted to know if my World Tree Sapling had any effects." I caught on. "I see now. Well, to be perfectly honest, it might be better for you to look at what I have first. If you find something you like, I can upgrade it to get the Stats needed to make it an endgame weapon. Sound good?"

Ulbert probably would've raised an eyebrow were his avatar capable. "You just have weapons like that shoved somewhere?"

I chuckled. "What, did you think I just became a Level Max Weapon Smith by laying around? I had to grind like mad to get this far. Yes, I have an entire armory of weapons. You're here a bit late for the cooler-looking ones since those got snatched up by the other Players as show pieces, but I should have a decent-looking staff around someplace. Pop over to Floor 6 with me, that's where I keep the storehouse." I held up my scaled knuckle, where a whisper-thin band of gold was wrapped beneath a plate of my natural armor. It had been custom-made to fit, one of the only rings that I could equip in both my forms. "[Teleport: Amphitheatrum]." I intoned, and in a flash of light my position changed.

Ulbert appeared a moment later, glancing up at where I rested against a wall of the copy of the Roman Colosseum. "I'm always surprised when that doesn't shatter under you." He commented drily.

I chuckled, giving it a hearty slap with my tail. "Oh please. It's fine. I had this place reinforced to the point it could take two of me lying on top of it without a single stone falling."

"Fair enough." Ulbert muttered. "[Fly]. Where are we headed? I've never seen any armory here."

"Well, see, you know some of those bottomless swamps?" I smirked. "They have alcoves in the sides where natural gas might once have been. No one would ever find them unless they knew where to look, so I excavated one to hold all my mass storage."

"Huh." He paused. "Does that mean that to get there—"

"Yep."

"Can't we just teleport?"

"Do you know where it is?"

Silence.

"I really hate you sometimes, you know."

I chuckled. "Oh calm down. You have Water Magic, right?"

"Only up to Third-Tier." He griped. "Not nearly enough to keep my coat from getting covered in swamp muck."

"Well, that sucks." I stepped smugly into the swamp, utterly unaffected by the terrain effects thanks to my Title. "Enjoy the swim!"

I dove beneath the surface, and Ulbert reluctantly followed. He stepped out into the air pocket a moment later with a surly tone, grumbling to himself. "Dammit, can't you add a decent entrance to… this… place…" Ulbert trailed off to flat-out gape at what lay before him. "Is… is that Caloric Stone?"

I blinked, suddenly very aware of the huge pile of what had once been Celestial Uranium. Apparently it had changed in the time I had been away. Too late to hide it now, anyway, might as well play it off. "Oh, yeah, I keep a stock down here for refining weapons. Why?"

"A stock? Nazarick hasn't had any for half a year now!"

I hummed for a moment. "That's right, there was that whole 'Seven Mines' thing where some other loser got to Ouroboros before I could."

"Seven Mines thing?" Ulbert hissed, livid. "You're talking about us losing World Items here! We lost half our gear trying to get those Mines back!"

I shrugged. "So? I was pillaging those resources before you morons even knew it existed. I have enough to build a fricking castle out of the stuff. I seem to recall you making fun of me for 'hoarding rocks' back when I was first figuring out how to make Caloric Stone."

"That's what you were doing? Why didn't you tell anyone?"

I frowned, a tad affronted. "Because you were all being dicks about it. Momonga knew, even if he didn't quite understand what I meant at the time. How do you think the Guild figured out how to make it in the first place?"

The goat huffed, falling silent. "Whatever." He finally said. "Just let me know next time you find out a potentially world-ending secret."

"Like the fact that there's a World Item that allows you to duplicate items?" I asked innocently. "Because the Mirror of Kalandra is only usable once before you have to go hunting for it again, you know."

The Demon twitched. "You have an Item that can—? No, never mind. Just don't tell anyone you have an undiscovered Item of the Twenty. Twenty-one, now, I guess."

"Who said I had only one?"

"Fuck you. Just give me a goddamn staff." Ulbert grumbled. It would seem he had finally tired of my teasing.

Too bad. He was fun to wind up. Even if I was telling the truth, he would just assume I was messing with him. His loss.

"The staves are over there." I pointed with my tail. "The ones tinted red should be geared towards Attack boosts, the green ones shorten Cast Speed. I have a stock of supplies, but if you want something truly jaw-dropping we can go farm a few bosses."

He spent some time perusing my supply, examining the Stats on each weapon he was capable of equipping. He settled on a gnarled willow branch, setting it on the Crafting Table. "Do you think this one could be upgraded?"

I looked up from where I was sorting my types of Prismatic Ore, squinting. "Oh, 'Fire Ascending'? Definitely. I thought of giving you that one as a gift, but then you found a different weapon and I scrapped the idea. I'm a bit low on Fire Shards at the moment, so we'll have to farm Surt to get it to the best possible quality."

The goat Demon's grin was audible, even with his face still as stone. "It would be my pleasure."

I chuckled.

If there was anything we gamers were good at, it was the dull grind of bossing.

"Let me take a crack at it first, then we'll go find that damn giant." I plucked the staff between two claws, reaching for the first of the Ores. "I have a good feeling about this one."

I finally did it. After ages of grinding and gathering EXP, I finally fucking did it. I got to Level 100. I added the very last Level to my Sage Job Class, smirking to myself in supreme satisfaction.

Congratulations! By reaching Max Level in the Job Class 'Sage', you have gained:

+1 to the total amount of all Summons

+10% Mana regeneration

+50 Evasion

You have gained access to the next Job Class in the Sage tree: High Sage!

I swiped away the notification, chuckling darkly to myself. Beside me, Momonga looked up from the loot we had picked up during our latest outing. "What is it?"

"Finally broke one hundred." I grinned. "Now that Sage is Maxed out, I can make another Maiden."

"Ooh. Sweet." The Guildmaster tilted his head. "What are you going to do with her?"

"I've already got it all planned out." I stated smugly. "I'm going to be making a character with an 'Exceeds Limits' Mana Stat and give them the Evening Star."

"You mean that overpowered accessory you made that no one can equip?" The Overlord asked with a slight hint of teasing in his voice.

I huffed. "Hey. It's perfectly fine how it is. It's just… in order to make a powerful item, you need a trade-off. That staff I made as our Guild Weapon can only be equipped by someone with insanely high Mana, and the Evening Star can only be equipped by a female Nature Spirit with Levels in a few specific Job Classes. But you know full well why I'd want to have a Level 100 NPC to be wearing the thing—it makes any and all Healing Magic practically free and it lets the wearer use Resurrection Magic without the Level and Skill penalty. What have you been doing, eh?"

The skeleton suddenly looked distinctly embarrassed. "I, ah, I…" He drooped. "…Nothing…"

I chuckled, nudging him playfully. "Oh, come on. I'm sure that's not true. Judging by that reaction, it's something interesting. What, did you get a lady friend?" I waggled my eyebrows, one of the few facial features my Avatar could pull off. "Or did you finally realize how beautiful your NPC is and decide to come over to the dark side?"

"Ihavetogo!" Momonga blurted, vanishing on the spot.

I burst out laughing the moment he left. I honestly didn't care all that much what he had been up to, my original question had been more of a joke than anything. But the reaction… utterly priceless.

Cling-ching…

I blinked at the chiming noise in my ear. It was so sudden I hadn't even registered it at first. "Yes?"

The Message came in the form of a text box that popped up in front of me rather than Voice Chat, which was quite unusual. My confusion disappeared as soon as I realized who sent it, however.

Hello, Miyagi-san.

"Shitty Dev." I greeted, amused. "What's the reason for contacting me at this time? Is there a spot-fix you need me to test or something?"

No, nothing like that. We just wanted to inform you that there's going to be a brand-new World Threat coming soon. This one has been specifically created with you in mind.

I paused. That didn't sound ominous at all. "All right, color me interested. Why do you say it's designed for me?"

Well, several of our newer staff needed some practice creating large entities, so they came up with a project. The boss cleared it, even suggested they give a unique bonus for defeating it. It's going to be the highest Level of World Threat in the game—Level 99.

My eyebrows shot into my hairline. "Holy shit. You guys really are pulling out all the stops on this one. Why wasn't this a part of the televised Raid event?"

Well, it's supposed to take quite some time to defeat…

"Ah. PR reasons."

Exactly.

"All right, when should I check it out?"

You have a few days. It still has to be added to the game. I'll add the Quest marker that leads to it on your map now, though.

"Fantastic." I stretched, yawning. "Any advice on what to bring?"

Plenty of time. Oh, and heart medication. We wouldn't want your old heart failing because your blood pressure got too high.

"Dream on, brat." I glanced at my Stat screen, a thought occurring. "Hey, while I have you here, could I ask you something? Strictly off-record, of course."

Go ahead.

"Are there any hidden Races that have to do with nature? I'm planning on making another Maiden now that I have another use of the Skill."

Strictly off-record I can tell you that there's a Quest chain in Asgard that will allow you to unlock the Divine Spirit Race 'Nature Spirit' as an option for NPCs. There's also a unique Job Class called 'Guardian of the Forest' that you can get by defeating a certain World Threat a number of times.

I blinked, my mind instantly jumping to the only Raid Boss it could be. "I know the one. Thanks."

Don't thank me until you've beaten the World Threat we've cooked up for you, Miyagi-san. You'll need all the help you can get.

And with those eerie words, the Message window disappeared.

I rolled my eyes, brushing the words off. The Developer was probably just being dramatic. Instead of worrying about it, I activated my Guild Ring to send me back to my mansion.

Time to start designing my NPC.

As with Archer, I spared no expense while making my newest Maiden. This time, however, I didn't want to rip off a franchise to make her. This one was one I had planned for, even going so far as burning my first use of Ouroboros to give her a backstory.

She was going to be the Spirit of the World Tree Sapling currently residing in front of my mansion. She would be an adorable kuudere waifu, inept at almost everything but willing to try anyway. She would be endlessly curious, full of wonder about the outside world, but too devoted to me to even dream of leaving.

Inept, yes. Hopeless, yes. But I had Archer for cooking and cleaning. This beautiful Maiden would be too powerful for me to reign in if everything went according to plan, so it was much safer simply to make her dependent on me for everything. Yes, I absolutely planned on making it so her flavor text stated she would never betray me, but I'm playing the long game here, and the problem with her being made to be so young is that later in life she could easily change from my original design. Sure, it might seem annoying, but it was far better than me creating a living manifestation of Yggdrasil that was entirely capable of killing me in a straight fight. And besides, I already have the Onee-chan position filled, I might as well add an adorably inept nice younger sister-type for her to dote on, no? Clumsy though she may be, I find the idea of her rather cute.

I started with the Dryad Race as a base, which resulted in her pale skin and oddly colored eyes. I punched in the sizes 94-52-83, giving her a perfect figure with a slightly larger top than Archer's originally was. Unlike Archer, however, her bust size wouldn't grow as she gained new Races. It would stay at a healthy FF-cup for her entire life barring unusual circumstances. Perhaps motherhood might bump up her FF to a solid G, but I didn't count on that happening for some time. Crossbreeding was known to be extremely difficult in canon, no matter how hard I intended on trying.

The pale Maiden wore a long shoulderless white gown that split in front to reveal white stockings and a garter belt. A matching veil covered part of her peach blossom-pink hair, flowing evenly down her back. Purple vine-like crystals wove around her form, emanating from a crown of violet peach blossoms atop her head. The plantlike motif continued all around her outfit, intermixed with the occasional high-tech addition to the crystal. Above her head floated a deep purple halo, marking her clearly as one of the Divine Species. She had a quiet, natural beauty that contrasted her doll-like features, creating an hourglass figure that looked almost unreal.

I named her what her flavor text suggested, reinforcing the words. She was my beloved, and so she was named.

乃愛. From Japanese 乃 (no), a possessive particle, and 愛 (a), meaning "love, affection". Noa, my love.

A beautiful name for a beautiful girl—one that tied her to me through the very word used to define her.

With all the EXP stored in my ring, I didn't even need to go hunting. I just transferred some to her, sending her directly to Level 100 with no fuss. The Data Crystals required to Level her were of no consequence, seeing as I had the lion's share in my treasury.

Dryad became Hamadryad, which became Greater Hamadryad. Her final stage of Nature Spirit completed her Racial Levels, leaving her at a mere 30 Levels spent. The rest of her Levels could be dedicated entirely to Job Classes.

10 Levels of Druid, obviously, then High Druid for another 10, allowing access to the Nature's Herald Job. That brings us to an even 60 total Levels. Add another 10 for Forest Mage, then move on to the more exotic Classes.

I actually did quite a lot of searching to find the perfect Jobs for my little Noa. The Developers were surprisingly helpful, hinting at several hidden Job Classes that could be discovered through various means. The first Rare Class I found was one called Elemental—not Elementalist, Elemental. It offered incredible bonuses to Nature-based Magic, which Noa's entire character was based off of. The next was the very Job Class described to me by the Dev, Guardian of the Forest. It granted bonuses to powers that 'brought death and gave life', which was a handy bonus for her particular build.

At 80 total Levels, I hit a wall. I eventually decided to say 'to hell with it' and gave her another 10-Level Class, Spiritualist, but I still left room for two more Rare Classes that I might find in the future.

While I was optimized for melee range and Archer was optimized for long-range cover, Noa would be perfectly made to have numerous Healing and AoE Spells to help control the flow of the battle. She wouldn't be getting in the thick of things, but she could still pack a serious punch of threatened.

Her build was far from perfect, and it would take a lot of testing and refining to work out the kinks. I still had to tweak her Stats quite a bit to make her truly complete, but for the limited time I had, it was the best I could get.

Time to face down the great beast.

"All right, shitty Devs. Let's see what you've got for me." I said to no one in particular, staring up at the mouth of the canyon serving as a gate into the area.

I stepped through the gate, entering into the area where the Boss resided.

At first I thought I was going to be facing a Mountain Giant of some sort as I spotted the huge spires of rock. The ground quaked, making me revise my assumption. Earth Elementals, perhaps? Some new variant of Land Wurm?

Yeah… as if I could ever be that lucky.

My eyes widened, and a few choice cuss words escaped my mouth. I just figured out what they meant by the Raid Boss being made for me.

Back in the elder years of my first life, there was a certain game called Final Fantasy XV. In it was a bit of post-game content; an optional boss called the Adamantoise. It was mainly a huge annoyance, since even the best builds and strategies took over an hour to defeat it. And that was with it staying mostly still, its only method of 'attack' being moving around slightly. It was a huge tanky distraction designed to take all the damage in the game without flinching and pointlessly waste the players' time.

This guy? This guy looked like the Adamantoise's bigger, meaner, heavier older brother.

I held no illusions of this thing just being a giant useless damage sponge, the Devs had no doubt given it an entire arsenal of absolutely bullshit Skills to pull out of nowhere and blindside me with. Not to mention the thing's sharp scales or irritated expression—I wouldn't be surprised if this thing's Attack Stat were high enough to stomp most Players flat in one hit.

I ground my teeth, huffing. I couldn't exactly back out now, not with the Devs no doubt laughing their asses off at my expense. If I ran, it would just give them a bigger laugh.

The World Turtle roared, and I reluctantly entered the combat.

I knew right from the first hit I landed that this thing was going to be a bitch to kill. It was wicked fast for such a huge creature, which in turn gave it a ridiculous amount of Evasion. I soon learned that the thing's main tactic was to try to get some part of its natural plated skin between me and it, a tactic that worked splendidly considering the scaled armor was overpowered to hell. Even when I finally raked my claws across some unguarded skin and watched the high damage numbers flash across my view, the HP gauge didn't so much as twitch.

Then its aggro kicked in, and my life got a whole lot harder. Earthen spikes sprouted from armored plates, firing off in all directions. Noa hit me with a Healing Spell by default as one nicked me, sending my HP down by a decent chunk.

'Screw this.' I thought angrily, flash-casting [Time Stop] and opening my Inventory. My regular bossing gear wouldn't cut it, it was time to bring out the big guns.

I equipped my Wishing ring and pulled out a Mirrored World Item—[World Savior], a club-shaped member of the Twenty that started out weak, but grew in power with each strike dealt that by the time it broke it was doling out enough raw damage to kill all of Nazarick in one blow.

Technically I could kill this thing without it, but I'd really rather not be here for the next ten hours straight.

"[Maximize Magic: Globe of Invulnerability]." I began, deciding to get all the buffs in I could while the battle was on pause. "[Maximize Magic: Freedom of Movement]. [Maximize Magic: Haste]. [Maximize Magic: Body of Effulgent Beryl]. [Life Essence]. [Greater Full Potential]. [Freedom]. [Greater Luck]. [Draconic Power]. [Greater Hardening]. [Absorption]."

My Mana was running out, as was the Spell used to buy me time. I released it, feeling as ready as I would ever be.

"All right, asshole." I growled as the [Time Stop] ended. "It's time you fucking died."

I slumped, panting, as the giant World Turtle finally collapsed. Archer lowered her bow and Noa faded slightly from view as she retreated into Spirit form. "That." I gasped, leaning back, "Was complete bullshit. What was that, two hours?"

All my Skills were either depleted or on cooldown, my Mana pool nearly drained. I hadn't ended up needing Wish, but I did need several Super-Tier Spells to finally end the thing. I was extremely glad I had given Noa the Evening Star, if she had needed Mana to heal me I would've been screwed. Nonetheless, I persevered.

Before my eyes, the World Threat was slowly stumbling back. The death animation was in full swing, cracks appearing in its form in customary fashion. It shattered in a burst of white light, from it raining the twinkle of EXP, gold, and Data Crystals.

Congratulations! For defeating the World Threat 'World Turtle', you have gained the passive Skill [The Impenetrable Shell]!

Congratulations! For being the first Player to ever defeat the World Turtle, you have been given the World Item [Talons of Power]!

Congratulations! For defeating the World Turtle in a Party of only one Player, you have gained the passive Skill [Total Immunity]!

I left reading what those did for later, instead picking up my loot and teleporting straight back to my mansion. As soon as I was no longer in danger of getting PWNed by a random trash mob, I activated the GM Call function and cleared my throat in anticipation.

Hello, and how may I help you?

"Hello, this is Miyagi here." I greeted smugly. "Just wanted to report that the World Turtle has been soundly flipped on its back. We'll be having turtle stew tonight, folks."

Miyagi-san? You actually defeated the – hold on, this isn't supposed to happen. Let me put you through to someone who's better equipped to deal with this.

I twitched. 'Not supposed to happen!? I spent three hours killing that fucking Boss, you shitty Developers!'

The text box went blank for a few moments, time I took to examine the loot I'd gotten. The Talons of Power were apparently equippable for me, much to my shock. Dragons weren't supposed to be able to equip any weapons, but evidently these were an exception. They shimmered into existence on my front talons, mimicking the scale pattern beneath and surrounding each scale in a line of pure gold. Atop each of my claws a segmented piece of metal extended down to extend wickedly sharp coverings sculpted around them. I opened and shut my talons, the satisfying rasp of metal sounding from the action.

"[Appraise Magic Item]." I intoned, curious.

[The Talons of Power]

World-Class Item

The Talons of Power grant a flat 300% bonus to all Stats while the wielder is fighting alone. However, for every Player in the wielder's Party above that, there is a -150% penalty to all Stats.

I raised an eyebrow. In other words, not only could I lose the bonus given by the Item by having more than that, I could actually loseStats. An extremely high benefit-reward balance. With the way things looked, I could only have a max of two other Players in my Party before I was losing more than I was getting.

As expected of a crapped-out World Item. Completely unfair on several accounts.

Good evening, player.

I glanced up at the screen. "Hey. You certainly took your time."

My apologies. What seems to be the problem?

"I was just reporting that I beat the World Turtle for the first time."

I see. That's quite impressive. How big was your Party size?

"One."

…I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. How many?

"A Party of one." I repeated. "Damn Turtle was a pain in the ass to beat, but I got there in the end."

I… please hold for a moment, I need to find your file. A pause.Miyagi-dono, yes? I believe I've heard of you. You specialize in finding unexpected glitches in our code.

"That's me, yes. I'm only calling because one of you Devs was the one who tipped me off to the new addition." I flexed my claws, the metal catching the light. "And I must say, it's quite the reward. More than worth the venture."

…Miyagi-dono, I'm afraid you were being trolled. The World Turtle was meant to be impossible for a group of less than sixteen Players to defeat. For you to do so on the first-ever fight with it is nothing less than baffling.

I snorted. "Let me guess. They were trying to get me to team up with another few Players for once."

I believe that was the intention, yes.

"Heh. Bet they didn't expect me to pull World Savior out and buff myself to obscene levels right off the bat. Sorry fucker didn't even see it coming."

World Savior, the World Item?

"Well, a copy I made with a Mirror of Kalandra, yes. The Mirror is less dangerous to track down after I use it."

I see. It makes a bit more sense now, if you have access to World Items. Another pause. To be perfectly frank with you Miyagi-dono, this situation was never meant to occur. We did expect a single player to eventually figure out how to solo it given time and resources, but it was never considered that it could be soloed on the first run.

"Longest Boss fight of my life, so kudos for that."

Yes, but… the two passives given as the reward… together, they're a bit of a game-breaker. Both of them give an incredible boost to the Resist Stat and reduce damage taken by 20%, but what worries me is their special abilities. The first cuts damage from bypassing armor in half until its durability runs out, while the second protects from most status conditions while your armor is still intact.

I raised my eyebrows. "My Race has [Natural Armor], which prevents me from equipping any armor even in my humanoid form. That shouldn't be an issue, right?"

Quite the opposite, Miyagi-dono. The game considers [Natural Armor] to be a type of armor as well.

"Well, shit." I glanced down at my scales, raising an eyebrow. "That really is broken, then. Are you going to fix it?"

It was our fault for not realizing this situation could happen. Plus, YGGDRASIL does encourage players to receive rewards for hard work. You've earned them both.

"Aren't you afraid I'll abuse it?"

From what I'm seeing in your file, the only sins you've committed are of being too helpful. We'll of course intervene if you do decide to abuse this, but until then it shouldn't be too big of an issue. Besides, many Players have access to Skills designed to pierce armor, which would bypass both of those passives entirely.

"All right, if you're certain." I never intended to actually give the Skills up, of course, but I had to make at least a token effort. "Thank you for your help."

Not a problem, Miyagi-dono. Do you need anything else?

"I'd just like to pass a message on to whoever set me up to get my ass kicked. Would you mind?"

I can check your Message logs to find out who sent you the invitation. Go ahead.

"Just tell them 'the Turtle was too laggy, you amateur. You should've given it better melee attacks.' That should be enough to get the message across."

All right. I'll pass it along. Thank you, Miyagi-dono.

"No, no." My claws shut with a loud rasp. "Thank you."

The Message ended, text box disappearing. I was left sitting in my mansion with both Maidens, quietly chuckling to myself.

That asshole had no idea who he was messing with. Try to make a fool of me, will he? Please. This game is my world. I control everything in it. I've earned over fifty separate World Items, not even counting the duplicates. I've fought more powerful monsters in a single day than most Players did in their entire career.

Even if the damn Turtle had gotten me, did you really think I would stay down?

My chuckles died down as a thought occurred. It was a devious, slightly twisted thought. It wouldn't be enough to confront the Dev who trolled me, no, I had to take his defeat and memorialize it somehow.

And what better way could there be than to take a trophy of war?

I left my Maidens behind, stepping out of the building and activating my Guild Ring. This particular trophy wouldn't fit in my humble abode, but it would look right at home in the wilderness of Floor 8.

I found a good spot, a natural dip in the landscape that went for a good kilometer in all directions. A quick Spell cleared away any obstacles, leaving me with one thing left to do. "[Message]. Hey, Momonga, I realize this is a bit sudden, but I had an idea for an NPC. Do you mind if I use a few of the remaining Levels in Nazarick to make it?"

"Oh, Ancient-san. Sorry, you startled me. No, it shouldn't be a problem at all. You're good enough at NPC creation that I'm sure the others wouldn't mind if you took a full 100 Levels. We still have plenty left over, and if no one claims them, I think the other members might start using them for ridiculous things."

I chuckled. "That they might. Well, I'll be here on Floor 8 designing it. With any luck, I'll get back to you soon."

"All right, good luck."

The Message ended, and I raised my right hand to the sky. A Mirrored World Item flashed to life. "Ouroboros!"

…I'm not sure if this is allowed.

"People tell me that a lot. It shouldn't be a problem, though, I have the World Item that allows me to ask pretty much anything of you guys."

This is a bit odd, even for some of the requests we've gotten through that ring.

There was a pause.

Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt too much. I'll have to nerf the Attack Speed on it severely, though. And since it'll be classified as an Animal-type NPC, you'll need to feed it from time to time.

"Not a problem." 'Not considering I can add enough gear to bring it to double what it was originally. And with all the gold I have stocked up, figuring how to grow food shouldn't be an issue either.'

I'm adding some more Levels to your Guild to support this. Is that all right?

I raised an eyebrow. "More than all right. How many Levels?"

The original was Level 99, so I'll be adding 99 NPC Levels to compensate. You asked for it to be added to Nazarick as an NPC, so I'm adding all of it. You'll have to use one of your Guild's Levels if you want to Level it to an even 100, though.

"Believe me, that is the furthest from my worries." I assured them. "It's more than enough that you're doing it."

Okay, then. Is that all?

"Yes. Thank you."

Not a problem, Miyagi-san… adding it in now, and, done. Thank you for waiting, have a nice day.

The text box closed, and I glanced up.

Far above, an enormous creature was beginning to take shape. Four scaly legs, a long neck, and a shell so huge it doubled as a literal mountain. The name flashed to life above it, the blue color of an allied NPC.

I grinned, pulling up its' Stats. I used a bit of EXP from my ring to bring it to 100, the empty Statsheet making me cackle with glee. Apparently the entire NPC was blank—the Developer had imported the Raid Boss in all its' glory, while leaving me free to give it a full hundred Levels of anything I wanted. As many Racial Levels and Job Classes as I could stuff into it, building it to be the most overpowered juggernaut possible.

And considering that Victim, the Boss of this Floor, has the ability to grant its' allies an extremely high HP regeneration effect… well. I'm going to make this place hell for anyone who faces it.

Come to think of it, the Guild has been growing in popularity lately… I wonder if someone will finally try their luck?

"Er, Ancient-san, are you sure this is a good idea?" Momonga asked hesitantly, wringing the Divine-Class staff in his hands nervously. "I mean, I know you said you beat this Boss by yourself, but your character is pretty extreme, you know."

I shook my head. "It'll be fine, Momonga. You have the entire Guild going in with you."

And indeed they were—all of my exploits had gotten them interested in a piece of the action. When I spread the word about the new Raid Boss that offered a unique passive as a reward, all 40 of my fellow Guild Members hopped on the bandwagon. There wasn't a limit on the Party size for the World Turtle fight, so it made sense for the entire Guild to go in at once.

"You aren't." Momonga pointed out sensibly. "And you're the Raid Boss expert in the Guild."

"I'll be going in a few minutes after you guys, when a new version of the area opens. I'll be doing the same exact Raid as you, and I'm just a Message away."

"It'll be fine, Momonga-san." Tabula called. "Stop worrying. Ancient One-san spent ages briefing us on the Boss's attack pattern, so we should all be perfectly fine."

"But we still don't know what kind of Boss it is!" Momonga protested.

I chuckled darkly. "Oh, believe me, there's a good reason for that. Tradition, you might say. The first time I fought it a shitty Dev just told me where it was and to have fun fighting it."

Ulbert seemed to share Momonga's concern, though he was a lot calmer about it. "Should we be worried?"

"Oh, most definitely. But nothing I can possibly say or do will prepare you for what lies inside that gate."

"Well, the Quest we all took to get here says we're investigating mysterious tremors… so some kind of mole monster, perhaps?" Bukubukuchagama tried.

I shook my head in bemusement. "Just stop stalling and bite the bullet. Is everyone ready?"

A chorus of approval.

"Then go on through. It won't start until you all get in, but I still advise that the Tanks of each group go first." I stretched my wings, tail curling around my waiting Maidens. "Good luck, and don't be surprised if it takes a while. My record for this place so far is a few hours, but you have numbers as an advantage. Keep what I said in mind and you should all be fine."

Momonga spoke up, projecting his voice. "Everyone, let's do this! For the glory of Ainz Ooal Gown!"

"HOO-AH!" With those noble cheers, they all charged through the gate and into the area containing the Raid Boss.

I sat back and watched them disappear, amused at their enthusiasm.

They're all fucked, you know.

The dry message made me chuckle.

"Oh, yes, undoubtedly."

You're a cruel bastard.

"I like to think of it as educating the younger generation."

Heh. I got your message, by the way. You were right about the lag when you get into melee range, so I fixed that. Also, we fixed the Boss to have more variety when it comes to its move pool.

"Wow. And you called me a cruel bastard."

Well, I suppose it takes one to know one.

"Heh."

We fell silent, waiting the few minutes needed for the next reset of the Raid area.

Saw what you did with the Ouroboros Item.

I burst out laughing. "Oh, boy, I wish I was there when you found out."

Yeah, but to be fair, you kind of earned it. I went in and upgraded that one's lag problem too out of courtesy.

"Much obliged."

...So what are you planning on doing with it?

"At the moment it's kind of a pet. I call him Harold."

Harold, huh?

"You like it?"

It sounds quite distinguished, I suppose, but I was sort of expecting you to call him Skullcrusher or Stormageddon or something equally ridiculous. It seems that your naming sense is somewhat decent.

"Truly the most glowing of praise."

The gate to the Raid area flashed once, signaling a new opening. I rose to my feet, flexing my Talons and lashing my tail. "Now that I know what to prepare for, I think I can get my record down to a few hours without burning any Items. Would you care to watch?"

Sure. I could stand to see how my creation does against an experienced Player.

"Well, you'll be in for a treat. I've got a well-made strategy and two NPCs coded to be the most efficient they can be, so I have every advantage."

Good game to you, Miyagi-san. I'll be watching.

I paused mid-step. "Oh, and before I forget… any bets on how many times I can clear the place before the rest of my Guild makes it out?"

Oh, at least twice for sure.

"I'd have to say three times personally. I saw some of them wearing gear meant only for show."

Heh.

"Heheheh."

…We're both going to hell, you know.

"Ah, but at least we'll both know someone once we get there."

It took a total of eight hours for one of the most powerful Guilds in YGGDRASIL to hobble out of the Boss area, looking completely drained. I waved cheerfully, sending a helpful smile emote just to rub it in. "How did it go? Looks like everyone survived."

"All of my hatred." Ulbert ground out, glowering while leaning on his staff. "All of it."

"The words 'giant turtle' might've helped a lot, yes." Tabula agreed.

I sighed, shaking my head. "Tabula, if I said 'giant turtle' or even 'enormous turtle' it would've given you the wrong idea. You would've pictured something the size of a minivan, perhaps. You would not have expected the huge fucking mountain that you went out to face."

"Did you clear the Boss, Ancient-san?" Momonga asked, interrupting Tabula.

I nodded. "Oh yes. Easily. It's quite simple if you can dodge or tank its' attacks while maintaining a steady damage output. I knocked my personal best down to two hours while you were in there."

Shouted complaints filled the clearing, which I smugly basked in. They were all too exhausted to raise their voices too much, though, so it died down quickly. I spoke, silencing them. "Have you actually checked the Skill you got from it?"

A few of them did so. "Ooh, sweet, a decrease to total Damage taken?" One shouted.

I nodded, internally wondering if the Devs had changed the Skill given so it wouldn't be as broken. "What's it called?"

"[Greater Armor]." Ulbert reported, closing the menu.

Yep. It got changed. Too bad. "Still, you lot got your first taste of a Raid Battle. How did you like it?"

My response was most of the Players teleporting back to the Guild Base. The message was clear—you can have it all to yourself.

"Ah, well." I hummed. "More for me, I suppose."

It might've been my imagination, but I could almost hear a certain Developer cackling in the distance.

The Guild was on edge.

Whispers were beginning to spread, word of a growing army. A large number of Guilds and Players, banding together in order to conquer the unconquerable Tomb. An alliance made to take us down a peg. My Guildmates were a mix of worried and thrilled, discussing which of the Tomb's defenses would best slow the incoming horde.

"I'm still not sure why it's now of all times that this is happening." Ulbert was complaining from a lawn chair overlooking the crystal-clear caldera before my mansion. "I mean, it's during crunch week on most of our jobs, what with tax day coming up soon. It's almost like they've been planning this for ages, most of our members won't be on when they do attack."

I raised an eyebrow. "I mean… maybe this is just a sneaking suspicion… but don't you think that it's because we wrecked Asgard?"

There was a pause.

"Oh, yeah, that happened…" Ulbert trailed off. "Yeah, we really fucked them hard."

I nodded, curling my tail close. My Maidens were standing between my front paws, just as they always were when they weren't in combat. "You gotta admit, though, it was a lot of fun. Pretty much everyone in the Guild got catapulted 50 Levels just by being in the same Party when we took them down. Not to mention all the griefing we did…"

"Yeah… come to think of it, don't we kind of have this coming? I mean, we did steal everything that wasn't nailed down." The Demon scratched the side of his head. "It probably took them this long just to get back enough resources to launch a full-scale attack."

I began to laugh. "Oh, they are going to hatethis place. Even the lower Floors are trapped so bad that Momonga had to manually take them down when he invited a few non-member friends. Forget the POP mobs, I think most of them are going to die to the traps me and the boys set up for shits and giggles."

Ulbert nodded. "Yeah, I heard about that. How did you even get people to go along with it, anyway?"

I shrugged. "Well, after all the time we spent griefing Asgard, people got really good at setting traps. We got back to the Guild Base, restored it to normal… and then got bored. So we started this whole troll course designed to piss people off. It's lethal, yes, but more importantly it's reallyannoying."

Ulbert shuddered. "I… I think I'm going to avoid the lower Floors from now on. I know what you're like when you're playing for fun, I can't imagine what nightmares you'd come up with when you're trying to drive people insane."

I tilted my head in acceptance of the compliment. "Hey. It's a gift. Why do you think so many sadists end up as web designers? If there aren't at least four dead links and an endless loop, it isn't a proper company website."

"…Not touching that one." Ulbert held out his staff, changing the subject. "So, in case I'm online when we get invaded, do you think you could…?"

"Oh, sure." I plucked the staff from his hands, glancing over the Stats. "Eeeeh, this is a bit weak for PvP…" I mumbled. "I could make you a new one if you wanted. I got ahold of a [Branch of the World Tree] recently. I could take a few nights to grind it into a god weapon for you."

"Ancient-san, you are one of the few people I know who willingly volunteers to spend hours on end grinding gear." Ulbert deadpanned.

I snorted. "Oh, please. It's not hard once you get used to it, and even if you don't end up using it I can hold on to it for someone else. Gear made using a [Branch of the World Tree] always has an extremely low Level requirement, so I'm sure I can get a pretty good price on it."

"Fair enough." Ulbert took back the staff, putting it into his Inventory. "Need any help?"

"Nah, just send me your Stats so I can give you a custom build." I uncurled my tail, stretching out my long form with a tremendous yawn. "I'll work on it once I set up a warning system. I don't want all the action to start without me."

Ulbert nodded, rising to his feet. "Well, I think I'll leave you to it, then. Let me know if you need anything else, all right?"

"Not a problem." I waved him off, already distracted by the coming grind. "Go on, keep working on that Lava Floor you have going on."

The Demon waved, disappearing in a flash of light.

Even if he never ascribed to my philosophy of making the NPCs neutral towards humans, Ulbert's contributions to Nazarick were more than impressive when it came to Floor design. The sheer level of imagination behind his defenses was slightly terrifying, really.

I sighed, glancing down at my Maidens. "Well… I suppose this is it."

Fuck the Turtle, this was going to be my first extended test of how well my current setup worked. A long trial run of Noa's effectiveness when placed in combat alongside myself and Archer.

This could go really well… or it could really not.

"Let's go run some dungeons, my pretties." I mumbled, rising to my feet. "We have work to do."

I grinned in anticipation, arming Archer with gear designed to best combat Players rather than Raid Bosses. Noa was already perfectly balanced for the role, her AoE debuffs just as effective on large groups of people as they were on hordes of monsters.

It had finally come. The day I had been waiting for for so very long. The day I could test myself and truly see how powerful I and my NPCs were when compared to hundreds of the strongest Players in the game. The rest of my Guildmates wanted to play it safe, wait until the horde reached Floor 9 and had been weakened by the previous obstacles before engaging.

I, on the other hand, didn't really give a shit.

Sure, I would have to take off my Guild Ring and my Rings of Total Bullshit™ before engaging. But with Archer and Noa by my side, there was no need to have access to my EXP ring or the Wish Spell. I cleared my plans with Momonga, regretfully set aside my Talons, and teleported to Floor 4 to lie in wait.

The area was perfect for me. The entire Floor was an enormous cavern containing an underground lake, where I could easily float like the world's deadliest duck.

There I waited, listening to the endless drip of water, until the invading force arrived.

The first of them teleported in through the gate to the room, spotted me, and instantly realized what was happening. "[Message]! Stop coming through! Repeat, stop coming through! You'll only make him stronger!"

But it was too late. A mass of roughly fourteen hundred Players, a mere fraction of the hundred-thousand large horde, had all piled into the cave at once, falling silent as they gazed up at me.

I silently raised an eyebrow, speaking up for the first time. "I am Ancient One, and I'm afraid that you all have very little chance of defeating me. However, since I am not a Floor Boss and have deactivated the Boss for this zone, you'll find that leaving here is a simple as walking through a door. But." I hauled myself out of the lake, my scales glimmering ominously in the glow of the cave moss. "In order to do so… you'll have to get past mefirst."

The few who understood visibly faltered.

I had a Job Class that gave me a boost for every enemy above one that I faced. There were over a thousand Players facing me, with more waiting in the Floor below. To them, an unprotected hit meant death.

"My darlings will be keeping you company as well, you see." I continued, voice echoing through the cave. "Two of my beloved NPCs. Though, I'm afraid you'll have to wait until you get to Floor 8 to meet the next one… ah, well. I'm sure you'll enjoy his company later." I grinned, taking a deep breath. Time for a big finale. "Now… COME AT ME, BITCHES!" I finished with a roar, spreading my wings and calling up a half-dozen Spells.

"CHARGE!" The Party's leader yelled, and the horde did exactly that.

I began to laugh.

As the last of the survivors got through the entrance to Floor 5, I didn't bother sticking around. I picked up a few items of loot that caught my eye then left the rest for my Guildmates to sort through.

I never intended to take them all on myself, all I needed was to test my setup and thin the proverbial herd. And thin them I did, giving great bellows of laughter while my two Maidens covered me from afar. I probably made an enemy of most of the Players there, but I didn't really care all that much. They couldn't even scratch my scales and they probably already hated me for torching Asgard, so it wasn't exactly a heartfelt loss on my part.

I teleported to Floor 8 to wait, reclining back into an area specifically cleared to allow for a giant blue Dragon to sit down in it. I took the time to begin picking a specific type of leaves off of nearby trees, whiling away the time with a somewhat useful task. I stored them in my Inventory once I had a stack large enough. It wasn't time to use them, not quite yet.

This time the wait was a lot longer. I lounged about, examining the 8th Floor Hierarchy of NPCs. They were some of the strongest NPCs in Nazarick, but they were far from its true trump card. Not even my fellow Guildmates knew of it yet, which was why I was so enjoying the surprise.

Finally, the first of the Players arrived. Far off in the distance, sure, but still they were there. I cast [Perfect Unknowable] on myself on a whim, not wanting to interfere with the show that was to come. My NPC needed to have its time to shine, and what better time than this?

I waited with baited breath as they made their way through the wilderness of Floor 8. They encountered the 8th Floor Hierarchy sooner than expected, and as predicted, they began throwing loud flashy attacks almost immediately.

The ground began to shake.

The mountain range in the middle of the Floor began to rise, accompanied by a pair of very angry eyes.

All six hundred Players stopped dead as they saw it, rising slowly from what they thought had been solid ground. Panicked shouts rippled through their number, making me grin wickedly. It was times like this that I regretted them not being able to see my expressions. "Oh, do you like him?" I asked lightly, lounging back on the treetops. "His name is Harold."

Harold the World Turtle roared loud enough to shake the ground for miles in every direction. He wore heavy custom armor on every visible piece of skin. The first few Players didn't even have time to react as the NPC blasted through them, charging like a deranged bull.

That was when the screaming started.

No matter how well-equipped they were, no matter how powerful the top Players could be, no matter how incredible their strategies, they stood no chance against a World Turtle that could be healed by Victim every time it lost any health whatsoever. And since they hadn't killed the Floor Boss, the door to the next Floor stayed firmly shut.

The other NPCs took on the Players while they were still fending off the huge fucking Turtle, keeping Victim hidden from view. I could hear the screams of "NOT FAIR!" echoing through the wilderness, but I didn't give a shit. After all, they were the idiots who decided to piss Harold off. If they had done the smart thing and not woken him from his nap, they might still be alive.

Silly Players. Harold only wanted a treat.

When the last of the force had been wiped out, Harold looked around grumpily for a time. I waved, and he slowly ambled over. I had programmed him to be quite lazy when he wasn't repelling an attack, so even though he could move at speeds that were frankly ridiculous for a creature of his size, he didn't often do so.

"Hello, Harold." I greeted, reaching into my Inventory to pull out a clawful of leaves. "Did those mean Players wake you up?"

The giant turtle munched contentedly from my claw, yawned, and moved back to the divot in the ground he called home. Victim peeped out from under his shell, zooming out to rest on Harold's pointed nose. The oversized snapping turtle yawned, opened and closed its mouth several times to get the last of the leaves, then slowly settled down to sleep. Victim curled up as well, looking like a tiny pink dot against the huge expanse of turtle.

"Ancient-san…" Momonga's voice sounded in my ear. "What. The. Fuck."

"Hey, I did tell you I got a new pet turtle, didn't I?"

From that day forward, not a single soul strayed into the eighth Floor unless they absolutely had to.

Except me, of course. I still had to feed Harold.

Hey. Even giant death turtles need to eat.

A/N:

You can all calm down now. I introduced the second Maiden in this chapter, one that will fit more with the theme of the story than me adding another character from any other franchise. 

I know. I'm sorry. There were a lot of good ideas in the reviews, but I had this one planned since I first gave him the Tree. And as much as many of the suggested characters would be interesting, they wouldn't last five minutes in a locked room with Archer before one snaps and kills the other. Female Gilgamesh? Stab. Female Madara? Quickly devolves into a death match. Female Alucard? Either ends up killing Archer out of boredom or Archer kills her out of self-defense.

No… Archer loves to dote on a seemingly incapable younger figure. Shirou spoiled Illya shamelessly, and I imagine that an interaction between an onee-chan Archer and a clueless kuudere she sees as a younger sister would be utterly diabetes-inducing.

Oh. Wait. I'm the author. I don't have to imagine. *Adorable fluff scenes intensify*

Next chapter will be getting into her lore a bit more, since I figured it would take him a bit longer to sit down and type up a decent backstory while he was so busy trying to give her a decent build. He'll also be getting into a bit more of the benefits she's offering his little group.

You know. Besides the obvious benefit of having a kuudere waifu.