ocp3

Chapter 3—Make a Wish

I won't bore you with the details of how our Guild was formed. I won't tell you of the lengthy process it took to get us to where we are now. I let Momonga continue as Guildmaster, despite his protests and my misgivings, for a few simple reasons.

In canon, Momonga was the only reason that the Guild stayed in one piece until the very last day. He led the Guild by example, befriending each member individually and helping them to work together in complete harmony. Ainz Ooal Gown was a group of people so diverse and strange that to lead them one had to be both extremely flexible and willing to bend over backwards to accommodate them at times.

If you know anything about me, you should've figured out by now that I don't really have that sort of skillset.

In addition, if I was going to dedicate all of my time to preparing for the New World, I wouldn't exactly have the luxury of leading an entire Guild. Coordinating events, managing finances, keeping track of forty-one different schedules… not to mention the fact that trying to get a large number of gamers to do anything is like herding petulant cats. I need to be able to operate freely, without the chains of responsibility binding me down.

So… yeah. As much as it would've been amazing to lead Ainz Ooal Gown, I probably would've run it into the ground.

But wait, I hear you asking. Why would I do all this? Why bother joining Ainz Ooal Gown at all?

Well… it was quite simple, really. I'm sure you've picked up on it by now, I've made reference to it multiple times. I'll explain it one last time, just in case.

See, from the moment I figured out that I was in the world of YGGDRASIL, I realized something. If I stuck by Nazarick, if I played my cards right, if I stood within its' walls while the game ended… I could become a god.

In this world, this magnificent world, I was a god.

I'll admit, at first the sheer idea was mind-boggling. But after the reality sunk in, I began noticing things that others overlooked. Simple things. I realized that the Artificial Intelligence of YGGDRASIL had long since evolved into something more. These creatures could live, and more importantly, they could learn.

I was a god in the realm of mortals, given free rein to do as I pleased.

Why did I ask for so little of the Developers back in the beta days? They obviously expected me to ask for an entire World to be built in my image, so why wouldn't I do so? Simple. This game, just like the 'real' world outside, was all just a passing-through point for me.

So rather than asking for a new World, I asked for my own Race. Rather than asking for some game-breaking weapon, I asked for my own 'territory', so to speak, with its own NPC levels built right in. Rather than my own game-breaking attack, I just asked that my Race be able to guard beautiful maidens. I had my own section of Nazarick all to myself, a place that I had absolute rule over, a place where the Developers had granted me total freedom in exchange for monthly reports on the kinks in the software.

To the Developers, I was the epitome of a comfort gamer. A role player. The kind of person who played only for fun, exploring the various features the game offered. An old man, living for the simple pleasures. They gave me a hundred NPC levels as a built-in part of my character, and in return, I helped them better their game.

They made me a god, and I gave them advice on programming. Who got shafted here, I wonder?

As the game further developed, they began implementing the more traditional Raid Bosses into the game. I took this as my long-awaited opportunity, charging out to confront them on my own and laughing in the face of danger. I challenged the first of them with absolutely no gear on me, trusting my [Totem of Life] to keep me from losing. Arguably it was the single most broken accessory I was capable of equipping, making my endgame so much easier. Its purpose was simple—granting me an Extra Life once every 16 hours. Not as powerful as some armors granting much the same, but the tribal tattoo-like overlay functioned just fine.

My fellow Guild members laughed, calling me a madman, watching as I lost over and over and over again at the hands of Bosses meant to face dozens of Players…

…Until I started winning.

The whole of YGGDRASIL seemed to pause in shock as I delivered the final blow to a Level 80 World Threat. The first high-tier Raid Boss ever to be beaten solo by a Player.

My spoils, a shitload of gold and Data Crystals alongside an honest-to-God World Item, immediately prompted others to try their luck at the same. But unlike me, they faced it down with their best gear and weapons—only to lose them as they were mercilessly slaughtered. I gained quite a following for a time as I slowly marched around the Nine Realms, challenging every Raid Boss ever discovered and always coming out on top. All the while, I was armed only with the [Totem of Life] and the ever-growing stock of EXP within my ring.

Quickly catching on, the Developers began an event to showcase their newest additions—The Parade of Heroes. It offered Players the chance to double their EXP gain for the duration, but only so long as they went solo. I didn't care too much about the event itself, but when they started adding temporary Raid Bosses just as an exhibition match, I jumped aboard the bandwagon quicker than you please. They reached out and requested to televise the matches to increase popularity, and I agreed on the condition they added a brand-new Job Class.

They ceded, telling me there was one that would only be available to someone who had beaten five hundred Raid Bosses in single combat.

So I fought. I fought over fifty separate Raid Bosses that month, from lava-throwing behemoths to icy winter spirits. I made a show of relishing the challenge, even shifting into Dragon form whenever I thought it might be 'fun', or more accurately in order to more rapidly decimate the Bosses.

Leveling was still inhumanly hard. The Developers made my Race's side-effect so awful any other Race could have maxed out dozens of times over. Sure, my starting EXP penalty was times six in the early game, but it drastically increased every 10 Levels to a frankly unfair degree.

To my amusement, the flavor text for the Race explaining this stated that Dragons gained power as they aged, which I pointedly avoided commenting on. The shitty Devs were probably having another go at me.

Even back at Level 70 I could give a high-end Level 100 Player a solid fight, but my Stats came at the price of having to earn EXP as if I Leveled up to 100 several times over. By Level 80 it took me over seven Raid Bosses and their entourages alone just to Level-up once, still suffering from the drawbacks of a huge size and relatively weak Magical Defense. Sure I was somewhat overcompensating with Exceeding Limits Physical Attack and Resist Stats, but it was still a pain in the ass.

By Level 90 I was forced to kill over 175 Raid Bosses to progress the final few Levels. I even died once after a Raid took out my [Totem of Life], losing five Levels because some prick used an AoE Super-Tier on the area I was in without checking to see if anyone was around to get caught in the crossfire. Five Levels might have seemed like nothing to normal people, but for me it was akin to losing hundreds of hours of EXP grinding.

The Devs added an Item in the cash shop to bypass the required Quest to respec into the Dragon Race, and countless people moved by my performance were inspired to try to become Dragons themselves. None ever made it past Level 10, much to my amusement. I earned my power, and they couldn't be bothered to replicate the feat. The Devs helpfully offered disappointed Players a different cash iem that let you reverse your decision for obscene amount of money, returning the game to normal once more.

In the beginning the fights were manageable. Then I was gradually forced to use some of the drops from previous Raid Bosses. Then even that wouldn't cut it and I had to tap into using various cash shop items I had picked up on the Devs' payroll. First the Bosses were meant for a party of three, then five, then nine, then fifteen, until eventually it required an entire Legion to combat them. I faced them all head-on with nothing but my Maiden and my wits.

My constantly-gathering ring was responsible for some of my woes, though I considered it a worthy sacrifice. The percentage it pulled might've been negligible to others, but thanks to the ludicrous Race penalty it pulled more than most Players got in their lifetimes.

I swear to God, those Devs have it in for me.

My EXP had been gathering for ages, and since I eventually reached Level 100, my ring simply continued collecting. The ring swapped from a measly two percent drain to taking all of it automatically, which grew my stores at a tremendous rate. But I didn't create another NPC, not yet. I continued to fight, waging war after war, fighting everything from a titan holding a miniature planet to a man made of pure wind.

But, like all challenges, this one eventually came to an end. My five hundredth battle came in a rush, with me pitted against a Dragon with pitch-black scales. What an irony. The Developers had gone all-out, and I saw quite a few Players hanging around to watch the spectacle for themselves. But in the clash of the titans, only one could come out on top. After over an hour, I finally slew the behemoth, which had appropriately named Challenger, and amidst the cheers of my fellow gamers, I beheld my new Job.

The Ultimate Raid Boss.

To my utter shock, the Job Class boasted not only a world-breaking Skill, and a lift in stats, but also a very interesting side-effect. For every enemy in my immediate vicinity, I gained +10% to all of my Stats. All of them. And it didn't seem to have an upper limit, either. Confused, I called up the Devs for an explanation.

It's because you spent so much of your time and effort on our game, that we gave you such a thing. They told me. If anyone else dares try to do what you have, they deserve the same Job Class.

It was overpowered, yes, but they assured me that other Job Classes offered just as much power to their owners and left it at that. Considering I was already a living legend, I was hardly inclined to test their words and seek out one of the others.

I continued my trend, still doing my best to pose as a comfort gamer. I began dabbling in Weapons Creation, my Levels in the Blacksmith Job leading naturally to the rarer Weapon Smith Job. I began to raise my Skill Level, using the many thousands of Crafting Items from killing all the Raid Bosses to churn out countless incredible weapons. I continued grinding, aiming relentlessly for the much-desired max Level. The Level that, according to the Developers, allowed you to change your weapon's programming and lore so long as you had the requisite amount of Levels in the lore-based Sage Class as well.

Momonga soon expressed interest in my goal, realizing that the Guild needed a Guild Weapon to truly be recognized. He helped me complete the many Quests needed to gather more base materials, waited long hours at the forge while I ground my Skill as high as possible. Then, finally, I reached the Job's Level cap. My Skill finally breached the insurmountable barrier that all others had faced, allowing me to finally use the max Level of the basic ability.

This kick-started an entirely new wave of innovation. Every member of the now forty-one strong Guild worked in unison to gather the needed materials for the Guild Weapon I was to create. Husbands spend long nights, using their paid work days to farm Bosses and fighting with their wives over the game they so loved. Momonga led the Guild into a new era of prosperity, with me and Touch Me working in public to cement our position as the number one Guild.

The Guild Base was impenetrable, fortified by the resources I gathered from Bosses. Our Guild Weapon was easily bumping the wall of World-Class, similarly overpowered by my contributions. Our members were full of excitement and wonder, all tied under the banner of Ainz Ooal Gown. So, obviously, their minds turned to the final task needed to become number one.

The NPCs.

This time I didn't stop them, no, in fact I encouraged them. I offered my own time and resources to any who asked for them, using my considerable experience at programming to perfect the little creatures. As the members caught on and production began, I quickly found my role as arbitrator of NPC creation. As the 'senior' programmer, every single one of the Players present consulted me for help in creating their ideal character. To each and every one, I gave a single piece of advice that I had lived by throughout the entire game.

We are the gods of this world. What would you like your world to be?

I preached that if one was going to create an NPC, one should create it as if they were going to live their entire lives beside it. They should care for it as if it were their own child, their own brother or sister, their own lover. I soundly shot down ideas that involved 'funny' character design, calmly pointing out that the character themselves would be quite miserable.

To my eternal amusement, Momonga got halfway through a neo-Nazi character before suddenly realizing, to his horror, that it would drive him absolutely insane to live with such a character. So he went with something else instead, making me cackle with hidden laughter.

After the next few months were over, I found myself living in a Tomb with a tremendous number of surprisingly relatable and kind NPCs that would happily slit the throats of their enemies.

Being God has never been more fun.

Of course… despite all their power, the other Players suffered from one common flaw. They saw themselves as pawns rather than chessmasters. Creators, rather than true Gods. Their flavor text granted them only the ability to create backgrounds, rather than truly create characters. I, on the other hand, acted in full knowledge that every character I made would one day be made real. Every quirk would become a personality trait, every piece of background info becoming an immutable part of who they were. I abused my knowledge to its fullest, changing and remaking them to be perfect for the New World we would one day inhabit together.

From there, it was all simple. With all the EXP I had gathered from the Raid Bosses, it was a simple matter to raise my Maiden to the highest heights. I made her unique, suited to my tastes alone. A hundred NPC levels, or one Level 100 NPC. Completely of my own make and model. I even went to the fullest extent, buying out all the new custom NPC skins that allowed for significantly more control over appearance. I dictated every piece of her, every code, every bit of flavor text.

I armed her with weapons that rivaled the Guild Weapon for sheer power, the flavor text of the weapon alone making it worthy of a God. Even as my Guildmates laughed at me for 'wasting weapons' on my Maiden, I just smiled. They didn't understand. Not really. They never would.

They didn't understand that they were gods, after all.

Tabula blinked, staring at the wall of text before him. "I know people call me a perfectionist… but damn. How much data did the shitty Devs give you to work with?"

I shrugged modestly. "Well, considering I helped them completely revamp the system to compress data in a way that saved them millions every day… I'd say a lot."

He scowled at me. Well, more like I knew him well enough to know he was scowling, but you get the idea. "I hate you sometimes. How the hell did you get close enough to them to get this kind of treatment? You're just a retired programmer!"

I coughed. "Er… you do remember that they once mentioned that I was one of their oldest Players, right?"

He nodded slowly. "Yes?"

"They meant game-wise, not age-wise." I smirked. "I was actually one of their best beta-testers back in the day. Helped them nail down the flight mechanics, figure out flow mechanics for water, solve a shitload of recurring bugs…" I trailed off. "Before I got here this game was more broken than Skyrim, so I'd say I've done quite a bit. They know that I'll keep helping for as long as I'm on here, so they do their best to keep me entertained. Think of me as an… unofficial Developer. They can't actually pay me, but they make up for my time with the occasional favor."

The Brain Eater nodded in grudging acceptance. "…Fine. You're certainly enough of a troll for it. I'm still jealous, though." He went back to peering at the data book in front of him. "But I still don't get it. Why did they add a box for flavor text to them, too? They already have coding. Why bother?"

I smiled, not that he could see it. "See, that was something I suggested as a way to stem complaints, which they're testing out with me. Flavor text doesn't actually do anything, but there's a much higher word limit. You don't have to pay for more data that your NPC never uses in their program, so you can just type their personality in the flavor text and use the rest to actually make them do things. It's mostly meant for role-players like me, an extra bit you can buy from the cash shop in order to pad the Devs' pockets."

"…Fair enough. I'll have to look into it later." He continued to scroll, squinting down at the text. "I don't actually see all that much useful code here. Did you only get more data so you could dictate everything about them?"

I nodded shamelessly. "Yep. The coding is for personality, the flavor text is for history and other fiddly bits. This way I could fit in three times as much information."

"I really hate you sometimes."

"I love you too, buddy."

The alchemist sighed, finishing his perusal. "Well, honestly, it seems like it's a pretty good character. It looks like something straight out of an anime, though."

"It is." I agreed. "It's Archer."

He tilted his head. "…Is this another one of your outdated references?"

I huffed, gesturing to the NPC beside me. She was tall and tan-skinned, contrasting with her long white hair. Her steely grey eyes were hard and unyielding, as were the twin blades in her hands. Her armor was a pitch-black chestplate and chain mail under a deep red overcoat, tied with silver crosses. Beneath her clothes, however, her form was soft and curvy, easily rivalling the hottest supermodels. "Look, Tabula, she's beautiful. If you can't appreciate the beauty of the Heroic Spirit Emiya, then you need to learn to appreciate culture."

He eyed me. "I will never understand your fascination with NPC creation. Your other projects are just as detailed and no less powerful. If you actually cared to make them into battle-bots, they could take a high-Level Player like Herohero-san, easily. But instead you fill them with personality data or background information that makes no sense to have in an NPC. If you want to have a character that works well, don't waste so much space."

Coming from anyone else that would be an insult, but… "Albedo." I countered smoothly.

"Gah!" The Alchemist flinched at the verbal riposte. "All right fine, I won't criticize."

"Good." I smiled, turning and taking Archer by the hand. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a lovely Maiden to escort back to her castle."

"NPC pervert." I heard Tabula mutter behind me as I left, but I ignored him.

The fool had no idea what my creations would become.

I walked away, a quick command of "Follow" ensuring the busty beauty remained by my side. I cut through a few side rooms on my way back to my little corner, only returning to the main halls as I spotted a familiar face. Er, skull.

"Momonga!" I called cheerfully. Archer continued to follow as I went, accompanying me as I walked up to the lich-like Overlord. "How's your NPC doing?"

The Overlord blinked, and I got a distinct feeling of embarrassment from him. "Ah, hello Ancient One-san."

I rolled my eyes. "Forget the honorifics, Momonga. We've been friends for years. And besides, you know there's no point in calling an old codger like me with respect." I peered past his voluminous robes, finally spotting the elusive figure after a few moments.

Behind the large, imposing figure stood a small blonde girl with an angelic smile. That's because that's exactly she was—an Angel.

After Momonga's initial plan of creating a neo-Nazi chunnibyou was soundly foiled by his own common sense, he had been at a loss for what to make. A thought triggered in my mind, sparking my imagination to begin creating ideas. Subtly, innocently, I had made a suggestion.

What if the guardian of the Treasure Vault, which was typically meant to be some terribly vicious and powerful creature, was actually the most innocent creature in Nazerick?

After my initial suggestion had flabbergasted him, I began explaining in more detail. He slowly caught on, and with a mixture of embarrassment and interest, he agreed. And so, the Angel known as Innocence was born.

Yes. The name sucks. But Momonga is hardly known for his naming sense.

I gave her the body and personality of Asia Argento, albeit with a few darker twists. Her puppy-like personality remained, as did her excitable cheer. She determinedly guarded the Vault not only because it was her task, but because 'it is wrong to steal'. If anyone dared trespass, she would appear in her full power as a Level 100 and punish the trespassers with death.

…Or, at least, that was the plan I told him. Until Momonga realized I had pranked him and she was now following him around like a baby duckling.

Laughing, I had assured him that I had given the adorable Angel enough Levels in Divination Magic to immediately tell if someone had gotten within even five hundred meters of the Vault and would use [Greater Teleportation]to get there within a moment's notice if such an intruder trespassed. His embarrassed pleas to convince me to stop the little Angel from following her 'beloved Momonga-sama' only fueled my laughter.

The lich himself didn't know enough about coding to stop her, and everyone else he asked found my joke too funny to ruin. So to this day, the fearsome, monstrous Overlord with burning crimson eyes and a cloak of everlasting darkness was constantly followed around Nazerick by a beautiful blonde Angel whose name described her very personality. The ultimate evil trailed by the ultimate innocence.

Muahahahaha—*cough, cough*.

"Well, if you don't want to acknowledge the adorability of Innocence, then I suppose I could change the subject." I said with mock reluctance. "Have you finished the Quest to get the [Trans Form] Skill quite yet?"

The sorcerer gave a long-suffering sigh. "I don't understand why you would ask me to learn Human Transformation. There's no point to it."

My one condition for returning Innocence to her post was that he learned the Transformation Skill. The Overlord had been confused by the seemingly odd demand, but I had remained tight-lipped about it. He wouldn't understand if I tried explaining, so I just acted as if it were a whim. After all, the needed Quest took over a month to complete without glitching it, so it could easily be interpreted as a way to keep Innocence attached to him for as long as possible.

"Bear with me." I smiled knowingly. "You'll thank me one day."

"I doubt it." He muttered, sighing. "I take it this is the NPC you keep telling me about?"

I smiled, gesturing to Archer. "This is Emiya Archer, my Maiden."

He nodded in approval, tapping something on his screen to bring up her data book. "Your custom NPC?"

"Yep." I smiled smugly, not that he could see my expression. Despite my humanoid features, the game remained unable to shift them into anything but their default look.

He examined the details at length, waiting until he had finished to pass judgement. "It's quite the impressive build." He admitted, seeming surprised. "How did you get the custom fighting moves?"

I glanced at the combat set 'CG Emiya Stance'. "I bought a kit in the cash shop, programmed them myself."

He nodded approvingly. "It looks like it works well with her high Attack Stats. Her Mana is unnaturally high, though. Why?"

I blinked. "…Let's just say I'm preparing for the future and leave it at that."

"All right." He finished reading it over, closing the screen. "She's very beautiful."

I nodded in agreement, squeezing her hand. "She is. But be careful, Innocence's feelings might be hurt."

"Ah, sorry Innocence." He blurted automatically, before pausing. "…Dammit, Ancient-san, now you have me talking to them too."

I nodded sagely. "I'm glad to have you on my side, new member of the NPCs Are People club."

"That isn't even a thing!" The lich protested.

I tilted my head. "Isn't it?"

He hesitated. "…Is it?"

"Of course not." I smirked. "Don't be silly, Momonga."

The salaryman sighed irritably. "Please stop jerking my chain, Ancient-san."

"Only after you drop the honorifics." I countered. "If other people can call me a pervy old man without me complaining, you can call me by my name without the -san bit."

He waved me off, beginning to walk again. "Go on, you. I have a Raid to get to."

I snickered, tugging Archer by the hand once more.

Momonga was all too easy to tease.

My plan to help others out with making their NPCs was simple—wait for them to ask me for help.

Really. It was that easy.

Most Players hadn't the faintest idea how to program a decent NPC, and the ones that did such as Blue Planet were more focused on other projects. As someone who was free most of the time, I was the obvious choice on who to ask for help.

They would call me over to see their NPC, explaining what they wanted for them. I would listen patiently, offer advice, then code the finished product. And even though to them it might seem that I was doing it out of goodwill, I was instead making damn well sure I knew who and what the NPCs of Nazarick were.

Beginning by clearing away a single misconception that would change the way they lived once they came to life.

Contrary to popular belief, the opposite of hatred is not love. Love and hate are the purest forms of passion, and changing one into the other is a mere matter of circumstance. No. The opposite of love is apathy. In both love and hatred you care what happens to the person you feel for, so would not the opposite of such emotions be not feeling at all?

Those I preached this to fell silent, considering my point. Sure, the Undead were supposed to hate the living, but were they, too, not alive? Would they hate their creators as much as their enemies?

So they changed their design. Not entirely, but enough to follow my suggestion. They were apathetic towards living beings—they wouldn't go out of their way to kill them, but so too would they calmly watch if one were dying in front of them.

It was definitely an improvement, since it removed one of the main challenges of taking a tomb of Undead into a different world. If they were neutral rather than hostile, it would allow me to watch them less closely and let them give more acceptable results.

Unfortunately, my listening ear and helpful advice had the side-effect of triggering what I liked to call 'Tell the GM About Your Character Syndrome'. There were two extremes—either they had no clue what to make their NPC into and just shrugged cluelessly when I asked, or they bombarded me with more information than I could ever code into such a limited space.

"—And so, that's why I decided to make them both cross-dress." Bukubukuchagama finished proudly.

I nodded, feigning comprehension. "I get it."

'But you don't, you poor fool. You don't.'

"Any advice while I'm making them?" The Slime chirped, finally finished with her half-hour explanation of the twin Dark Elf NPCs.

"Well…" I said slowly. "I'm just having trouble understanding one or two things. First… you're making these NPCs crossdress to piss off your brother, right?"

The Slime huffed. "That's a part of it, yes, but didn't you hear anything else I said?"

'Yes I did, you closet pervert.'

"It's just…" I began delicately, "…Aura's chest is flat, right?"

"Yes? What about it?" Bukubukuchagama shifted, 'face' turning towards said NPC.

"And you're making them to annoy your brother."

"Yes, I just said that."

"…But doesn't Peroroncino-san love flat-chested girls?" I tilted my head. "Like, a lot?"

Bukubukuchagama froze.

"…You know what, I think I might have to make these two a bit older." She said, as if she had just spontaneously come up with the idea herself. "Give them a bit more aesthetic value. It'll be for the best."

I nodded along, saying nothing about her sudden change of heart. That would be a quick way to hack her off. "I can lend you an NPC design kit if you want. You don't have to make her older than seventeen or so, which would let them keep the 'cuteness' you love and still let Aura have a larger chest."

"I suppose you're right." She agreed. "I'd like that, thanks. Two teenage NPCs, coming right up."

I sighed, burying my face in my hands.

This… this was a bit much, even for me.

"Tabula, I understand that you love horror games." I stated calmly. "But you have to understand. You can make her horrifying in plenty of ways without peeling all the skin off her face. An NPC with that sort of look would serve no purpose other than to be horrifying. Wouldn't it be better to completely redesign her as an actual eldritch horror, then make her the most pleasant person imaginable?"

Tabula stared at me as if I had come down from the heavens on a winged chariot. "That is the best idea I've ever heard. Quick, help me figure out how to make an Elder God into an NPC!"

...To be fair to him, the Developers in this game might have actually made a Race like that.

I looked over the unfinished wall of Lemegeton Golems, tilting my head. "Luci Fer-san, isn't it a bit silly to leave a project like this half-done? I mean, you only have only three left? At this point it would be easier to finish, wouldn't it?"

The lazy Angel sighed, nodding reluctantly. "…Fine. But only if you help. I'm not going to be suffering alone."

I glanced at my Inventory, which was stocked with an obscene amount of Celestial Uranium. "Believe me, it's not a problem in the slightest."

"Hmm? Of course, Blue Planet-san. I'd love to help you with a forest area. We could even add a swamp or two, just for variety. It'll make it even harder for invaders to get through."

The Player sent smile emote, voice grateful. "Thanks, Ancient One-san. No one else wants to help when they have projects of their own."

I chuckled. "Oh, believe me, I have nothing but time these days." I waved a clawed hand. "Though, would you mind if I found a place to store my weapons? I'm running out of space, you see…"

"So I heard you're looking for Ouroboros again?"

This came from Ulbert, who had made the trip up to my unfinished room on Floor 9 to watch me terraform it. The area was still a work-in-progress, but the room itself was large enough for me to move around comfortably in my Dragon form. The Developers had given me temporary access to console commands in order to make the lone room bigger than it had any right to be. Ulbert had asked to watch me do it, seeming endlessly amused as I created the TARDIS-like space.

"Yes, why do you ask?" I glanced up from the area's Decoration Screen, pausing in the middle of placing a new tree.

"Well, I wanted to know what you were going to do with it." He leaned back comfortably, his back to a tall pine. "Hypothetically, of course."

"Not quite sure yet." I went back to working, adding a few more trees to the area. Perhaps a nice lake for the outer edge? "I'm sure it'll be used for something interesting, rest assured."

"Ancient One-san… you've used one-use World Items how many times over the years." Ulbert said slowly. "How. Many. Times. And only gotten junk to show for it. Are you sure you're not just wasting your time?"

I felt a tad offended at that. "It's not junk." I twitched my ears, which each had a ring through them like a mock earring. They were always shifted there whenever I shifted forms, locking in place until I changed back. "I've got these, too. One lets me store infinite experience for various Spells, and the other is an item so broken it's basically an unofficial World Item."

That made him pause. "Really? What does it do?"

I chuckled, swiping a talon down. A screen appeared, text floating by. "It lets me use a unique Tenth-Tier Spell called 'Wish'. …Ulbert-san? Are you all right?"

The goat was silently face-palming. "Why didn't you just buy the bloody cash item that lets you use [Wish Upon a Star] for free, then?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"Because that only works three times." I tilted my head. "And it's a gachapon prize, so I'd probably end up shoving my life's savings in there before I saw a peep of silver. No, this Spell might be less powerful, but I can use it a lot more reliably without sacrificing any EXP."

"A completely different Spell, then?" I could tell the goat was interested, despite himself. "Mind filling me in?"

I considered for a few moments. I had actually talked it over with the Devs for quite some time before we came to an arrangement. I based the original idea off the D&D variant of the Spell, which made it a lot easier for them to design once they dusted off the textbooks.

I decided it was simply easier to show him rather than reading the whole screen aloud, so I made the change to human form so I could more easily dequip the item.

"[Trans Form: Human]." I intoned, activating the Skill.

My shape shrunk, shifting and changing as the Skill went to work. It was only a five-second animation, but it still took long enough to inconvenience me in a fight. I stepped forward a moment later, now in my 'human' form. I had deep blue hair that was pulled into a single long warrior braid down my back, shimmering oddly in the light. Golden eyes with slit pupils were the only thing left to remind others of my true form, gleaming like a cat's and drawing attention to my unnaturally sharp canines.

"…I still think that Avatar makes you look like a girl."

I sighed irritably. "Look, the hair is part of my Race. The long braid shows that I'm a very very old member of the Warrior Caste, and since the Elders are the closest things Dragons have to royalty, this is the closest thing I have to a crown." I shot the Demon a glare. "And no, it does not make me look like a girl. I'm almost two meters tall, for God's sake."

Sure enough, my form towered over the goat Demon. An outfit of blue furs were draped over muscles strong enough to uproot a tree, a stand-in for armor I couldn't equip. My features were undeniably masculine, as was my general body structure. All in all, I like to think I did a wonderful job designing the thing. I could take a shorter version of the form if I swapped to True Human rather than my preferred Half-Giant transformation, but it was a lot of fun to be the tallest person in the room.

"I know." The Demon said innocently. "But I've seen some Amazon mobs with that exacthairstyle."

I grumbled to myself, sliding the ring off my finger and ignoring his snickering. This had become somewhat of a staple of our Clan's gameplay, where we made fun of each other's Avatars until someone got mad. It was all in good fun, and since we were all inhuman anyway, it was quite easy to find oddities in each others' forms. "Look, do you want to see this or not?" I asked, holding up the ring.

"Yes, yes." Ulbert wiped a nonexistent tear from his eye. "I'll stop now."

I passed it over, allowing Ulbert to see it for himself. He wordlessly brought it up and swiped down a few times, reading the text I knew by heart.

Wish is the mightiest spell a mortal creature can cast. By simply speaking aloud, the caster can alter the very foundations of reality in accord with their desires. The basic use of this Spell is to duplicate any other Spell of this Spell's Tier or lower. The caster does not need to meet any requirements in that Spell, including costly components. The Spell simply takes effect at the significantly higher MP cost, taking 5% of the caster's health in the process.

Alternatively, the caster can create one of the following effects of their choice once every three days:

-You create one object of up to 250,000 gold in value that isn't a magic item. The object can be no more than 300 feet in any dimension, and it appears in an unoccupied space you can see on the ground.

-You allow up to twenty creatures that you can see to regain all HP, clearing any status effects they may have. For every creature healed this way, 2% of your total Life is consumed.

-You grant up to five creatures that you can see intermediate resistance to a Damage type you choose. 

-You grant up to five creatures you can see immunity to a single Spell or Skill for 1 hour. For instance, you could make yourself and all your companions immune to a lich's Life Drain attack, but not its superior form Touch of Death.

-You undo a single recent event by forcing a reroll of any roll made within the last five minutes. Reality reshapes itself to accommodate the new result. For example, a Wish Spell could undo an opponent's successful save, a foe's critical hit, or a friend's failed dodge. This can only be done once per week.

The stress of casting this Spell to produce any effect other than duplicating another Spell weakens the caster severely. After enduring that stress, they cannot cast another Spell until the time limit has passed. In addition, any person under the effect of one of the Spell's buffs will perish if the caster dies.

Ulbert nodded slowly, closing the screen. "I see. So it's a trump card designed to fill in a missing role in the midst of the fight, yes?"

I nodded, reaching out to take back the ring. "Yes. It prevents me from casting anything else, but at that point my Mana pool is pretty much depleted and I have to rely on my Skills anyway."

"I think I can understand the value of such a ring for your character's build, but it's pretty specialized. For someone who raids endgame Bosses on a weekly basis it's fine, but no else would see the point."

I chuckled, slipping the ring back on my finger. "I know. No one else would be able to use it anyway. I have to put everything I want Wish to do into code format in order to mod the game slightly. It saved the Devs hours of work to do it that way, and I know the system well enough that it doesn't really matter." I paused, glancing over to him. "Come to think of it… how is your build doing these days? I heard you got the World Disaster Job Class recently."

The goat Demon seemed to puff with pride. "Yes. In fact, it's one of the best builds ever, if I do say so myself. Do you remember that one bugged Quest we did all that time ago which let me cash in the rewards sixteen times?"

I thought back. "Oh, yes. That one was fun, even if I did have to tell the Devs about it eventually. What about it?"

"Do you remember the Queen of Shiba's reward?"

"Yeah. Shiba gives a five percent increase in Mana regenerated per minute, plus ten percent to Global Critical Strike Multiplier, and plus five percent to Fire Elemental Resistances. Times sixteen, obviously, so that just about caps your Resists to their max of 75% and gives your Crits some serious oomph. I'd wager the Resists are negated by your Job Classes, unfortunately, but it still grants some ridiculous Mana regen, right?"

The Demon looked impossibly smug. "Oh, yes." He practically purred. "And my most powerful Spell? Well, let's just say I can cast it two times more than anyone else possibly could. Without that exploit, my character wouldn't have been able to spam Spells like I do. I'm practically a living cheat!"

I belatedly wondered if me teaching a few of the Players how to break the game had made them unfairly broken. "I… see. That sounds amazing. Rain hellfire down on your enemies, am I right?"

"Exactly!" He agreed with a bit too much cheerfulness. "Which actually brings me to what I came here to ask. Once I hit Level 100, could you help me Craft an endgame weapon?"

I blinked, thrown by the sudden change in topic. Most Players preferred to make their own custom weapons, despite me having the Job Class and materials needed to give them truly overpowered ones. "Really? What kind?"

"Preferably a staff of some sort. Something that gives me a bonus to Cast Speed or reduces the Mana cost of Spells."

"That shouldn't be a problem…" I hummed, tilting my head. "I'm building an armory now on Floor 6 with Blue Planet-san. Just drop by my house when you're ready and I can take you around to have a look."

"Thanks, Ancient-san." He sent a smile emoji. "Ah, I can't wait~!"

We both politely neglected to mention the metric fuckton of grinding he had to do to finally get there.

No matter how good you are, no matter what the game, the last 10 Levels are always a bitch to get.

Actually…

"Oi… Ulbert-san…" The niggling idea in the back of my mind finally surfaced, coming out in a rush. "Do you know how we always dreamed of taking over a World?"

"Hmm? Of course I do. All of us Guild RPers wanted to at least give it a shot." Ulbert went silent for a few seconds. "…Why do you ask?"

I smiled. "Well, see, you know how I have an eye for spotting exploits in the game?"

The Demon nodded slowly, backing a safe distance away. "…Go on."

"Well, there's this project I've been working on over the past few years…"

Momonga glanced sidelong at me, worry evident in his voice. "Ano… Ancient-san, are you certain that this will work? I know you've been planning this with Ulbert for ages, but the entire Guild is gathered, you know? If this fails…"

I snorted, a puff of smoke coming from my nostrils. "Please. Have some faith, my bony friend. Touch Me trusts me, right buddy?"

The World Champion nodded confidently. "Ancient-san, there's no one I would trust more to bring pain and suffering to innocent Players."

"I will own that." I agreed smugly. "If only to teach you to stop being so gullible."

We were all perched on a platform suspended in the air, hoovering hidden in the only corner of Asgard I hadn't gotten around to covering with countless [Spell Echo] Items. It took me years and more gold than most Players could ever dream of to cover the place to my satisfaction, but the end result was worth it. The whole of Ainz Ooal Gown was gathered, standing behind me. They were prepared to carry out what would once be considered a pipe dream—overtaking an entire World in the name of a single Guild.

"Is everyone ready?" I shouted, turning to look at them. A multitude of thumbs-up icons answered me. I smiled, turning back and closing my eyes.

I leapt from the platform, cancelling my Transformation Skill midair and taking to the sky as my human Avatar ballooned out into a lizard the size of a small mountain. I couldn't stop myself from shaking slightly from the anticipation as I sat back, taking a deep breath. I had already buffed myself with every Spell and Skill I had, as did the entire rest of the Guild. For the next ten minutes, I would be the most well-buffed Player in the game.

Numerous cash item cameras floated around the World, which would be immune to my Spells due to them being placed by me. I would have every little bit on tape for future viewing pleasure. I grinned to myself, flexing my claws.

There was no better time than this.

"[Widen Boosted Magic]." I began, my [Wish] ring beginning to glow as I activated it. "[I Wish To Cast: Sword of Damocles]!"

See, the entire setup was a bit tricky. It still functioned exactly as tested, but there was still some room for worry. It had never been tested on such an enormous scale before.

The metamagic enhancement [Boost Magic] allows the user to elevate the Tier and power of a single Spell. In this case, it bumped the Tenth-Tier Wish up a notch—beyond Tier, into Super-Tier. And as such, the restrictions on it changed to match. The Wish Spell allowed one to freely cast a single Spell equal to the Spell's own Tier—an exploit I was more than willing to abuse. The Super-Tier Spell [Sword of Damocles] hummed to life around me, a cash item turning the light a brilliant gold rather than its normal blue. I waited patiently, the entire Guild waiting with baited breath for the Spell to finish charging.

Now this was the tricky bit.

The Item [Spell Echo]was only able to echo Spells of Tenth-Tier or lower. But the Item was designed to cast the Spell only once, and as such the Developers added code designed to cast only the base Spell and not the enhancements to it, so as to avoid a Player using [Triplet Magic] to cheese the system. As such, the Item still read the Wish Spell as a Tenth-Tier, completely ignoring the metamagic enhancement of Boost.

The instant the Spell began to charge, the [Wish] Spell was marked as 'cast', and every [Spell Echo] in Asgard activated at once. Glowing golden Super-Tier circles stretched into the air as far as the eye could see, gently swirling in harmony with my own. An area three times the size of Tokyo glowed to life with innumerable golden lights.

"[Greater Project Voice]." I heard from behind me, the final buff to set the plan in motion.

And with that, it all began.

"People of Asgard… I serve notice on you all." I rumbled, voice carrying to every being within the Realm. "Too long I have stayed my hand. No more. Today you leave me no choice. Today, this war will end. No more will innocents be hunted and killed. No more will you take lives out of misguided malice. This will be the final shot, the last act of violence. Today, I pass judgement." The Super-Tier Spell chimed gently in my ear, its charge at last complete. "Today… and never again."

I released the Magic, and every Spell fired in unison.

The [Sword of Damocles] is an orbital weapon designed to target structures. A glowing circle that appears several hundred feet above the target before firing a laser that did enough damage to any surrounding objects to reduce them instantly to rubble. Players received only a small percentage of the damage, which heavily limited its usefulness for most.

But fully buffed, with my Job Class registering every Player targeted by my Spells as my enemy?

The sky turned gold as my Widened Spell circles covered every spot in the World. Most overlapped by quite a bit. I had already warned the Devs beforehand to transfer as much computational power to the server of Asgard as possible. They would probably be mad if I crashed all of YGGDRASIL. Countless angles and views were chosen to depict what would later be known as 'The Genocide of Asgard'.

The Spell drilled into the ground below, destroying every habitable spot that the Spells could possibly affect. Millions of pop-ups flickered by, coming and going as the Magic took the lives of every living being that hadn't been able to resist it—which was literally no one, thanks to a few Defense-penetrating Skills I had active.

As the light cleared and the Spell ran its course, the sheer devastation I caused became apparent. The area of land beneath us was the highest terrain anywhere, as well as the only one with any hint of trees or grass. Everything else was a barren wasteland of scorched stone and dirt, magma flowing out in different places. It looked like some war-torn landscape, the results of a terrible war that had lasted for centuries. Not a single soul would ever guess the truth without seeing it firsthand.

But see it they would.

I threw back my head and laughed, knowing full well that every Player in Asgard had seen the exact same message.

You have been slain by Player: [Ancient One].

I had just destroyed every Respawn Point in the entire fucking World. Every last one of them, gone. It would take a full week for them to reset, meaning that the Players that were directly behind me were the only ones in Asgard until then. If we left the World, we would be stuck in another one, just like everyone else. Only a World Item could fix it faster, and the only Item capable of doing so was still on its own respawn timer after the last time I used it.

"Ancient One…" A single voice called from behind me, Touch Me's tone utterly flat. "What. The. Fuck."

I wiped a nonexistent tear from my eye, laughter dying down to mere snickering. "Oh, calm down. That was only phase one. See, I just terraformed the landscape within the span of under two seconds. A World the size of a continent just got leveled. And the thing is, that's too fast for the server to handle. As such, it automatically resets all the key locations and Player-placed objects to the spot they were in the last time it checked them… which should be happening… now."

In front of us, buildings and random objects materialized on thin air. The game's mechanics never bothered to include gravity in their buildings so as to give Players as enjoyable of an experience as possible while creating them. The empty sky before us was now filled with replaced dungeons, assorted locations the server deemed as 'important', and every Player-generated structure since the beginning of the game.

"Hello, beautiful." I crowed smugly, rustling my wings. "See, the sheer amount of data required to back up the entirety of Asgard every few minutes would be ridiculous, not to mention the server lag, so the Devs just set up an algorithm like this. Apparently no one ever thought it would get abused in this way."

"Well no shit." Ulbert's voice cracked slightly. "Jesus fucking Christ, what was that? I thought we were just lightly strafing them, not turning Asgard into a crater the size of the Mariana Trench!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you complaining?"

"Hell no!" I could hear the excitement in his tone. "That was FUCKING AWESOME! Can we do it again?"

"Unfortunately not. That little project took me well over two years as well as a ridiculous amount of a very specific Item." I gestured widely to the spoils before us, utterly unguarded. "You'll just have to take the entire treasury of Asgard as a consolation prize."

Momonga finally found his voice, speaking up. "Do you hear that, everyone?" He shouted. "Let's do this! It's time to take Asgard as ours!"

A resounding cheer echoed over the empty world, a precursor to what was to come.

The Devs were flooded with millions of complaints over the next few days, but there really wasn't much they were willing to do. YGGDRASIL was a game that rewarded the ability to learn and use game mechanics, after all, and there wasn't actually anything wrongwith me abusing the system in that way. They gently but firmly rebuffed all complaints, stating that I had not cheated in any way, shape, or form to achieve my magnum opus. They even went so far as to publicly post the game's log of what had happened, just to prove that my actions were completely legitimate. It was regrettable, they said, but they would take no action against me.

As news spread, the company that owned YGGDRASIL used the opportunity to proclaim that The Asgardian Genocide was possible because the Player investing into numerous cash-shop items and they could try their luck by doing the same. People were complaining, sure, but money were flowing at an unprecedented rate. Publically, I was the first and only owner of the Title 'The World Slayer'. It gave no bonuses whatsoever, but damndid it sound epic.

Privately, more than one of the Devs messaged me a note of congratulation. No, they weren't going to patch it since it had taken so many resources to pull off in the first place, but they were going to severely nerf the drop rate of [Spell Echo] to deter anyone from repeating my magnum opus. I didn't care, I was too busy being over the moon about the numerous World Items I acquired (read: stole) from the ruins of Asgard.

The Player-made golden city remained intact, gleaming beautifully in the sky some eleven kilometers above the 'ground'. It didn't remain pristine for very long. Its treasures were plundered, then packed into Infinite Backpacks. Despite their name, the Backpacks could only hold a limit of five hundred kilograms worth of items. YGGDRASIL Players commonly put their immediate-use Items into this bag, because the Items within it could be assigned to several hotkeys in the game interface. As such, it was simple to cheese the game and stuff all sixty-four-plus Inventory slots with the things.

Some of my Guildmates had bought cash items capable of extending the limit of one's Inventory Slots, but for fear of ruining a certain exploitable glitch I won't get into now, I never bothered to do the same. Instead I left the bulk theft to my Guildmates, instead clearing the various Guild Bases left abandoned and plundering them for their best Items.

Four days came and went in a flash, and upon checking the timer placed in the Developers' site for the next Spawn Reset, decided to close down our operations. We packed up, gave the place a once-over, then began the final phase of our plan.

Three days were used to utterly reshape the world, burning numerous uses of Super-Tier Spells designed to modify the entirety of Asgard. [Creation] was used en masse, every Player capable of using it doing so to terraform large sections of land.

By the time we were finished, the wasteland had been transformed into a hellscape.

And then we reallystarted fucking with the place.

Ulbert went batshit crazy, cackling like a madman as he spammed the World Item I lent him for the occasion. Hundreds of Demons spewed out into the world, aimed to attack everything that moved. Tabula used numerous [Pandemonium] Spells to add to the mix, though admittedly with less enthusiasm.

Monuments were erected of each one of us, each one actually a disguised Golem I not-so-subtly upgraded with a hefty chunk of Caloric Stone. They would attack when approached, killing any unwary fools.

Members of the Guild littered the entire World in various Spells cast with [Delay Magic] to activate only when someone came near, and god forbid that anyone try to get close to any existing structure, they would find themselves dead faster than you can blink.

In the exact center of Asgard was placed a gigantic sign. It was formed of many torn-up pieces of the ruined city, fused crudely together and propped up with the still-standing buildings.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

|PKING SUCKS, HUH?|

|

|

Similar signs were posted above the Guild Halls of numerous infamous PK Guilds, as well as a few crude messages left by some of our more bitter members. The Guild Weapons of each place were rigged to several dozen explosive traps, all designed to blow if anyone was stupid enough to trigger them.

World ransacked, goods stripped from every conceivable source, mines depleted of all valuables, we finally retreated back to our base. Leaving the burning World behind us.

Our objective was never long-term control. Such a thing was impossible with so many powerful Players capable of upsetting any power struggle we attempted. So instead, we made it perfectly clear that Ainz Ooal Gown had once been there. We might not have the manpower or resources for World domination, but we made damn sure that people knew what we were capable of.

For the week before the Spawn Reset, I loosed forty-one weapons of mass destruction upon Asgard and cackled as they beset upon the World with the raw, unmatched ferocity of internet trolls.

Asgard was fucked.

Of course, we returned to see our own base in shambles, but that was perfectly fine. We had deliberately downgraded the place as much as possible, taking our Treasury and NPCs into Asgard with us. Any invaders would get absolutely nothing of value, and we could restore it all with a click of a button thanks to the game's handy 'restore previous version' function. Sure we had to pay a shitload of gold from all the times that it was invaded, but it was chump change compared to what Asgard had given in return.

All in all… it was quite good for YGGDRASIL's first-ever World domination.

Time to ponder my spoils, I suppose.

My piece de resistancewas complete.

My best spoils had been tossed into my Inventory, waiting for me to exploit them.

All in all, my day was going pretty damn well.

I hummed happily to myself, at last putting Archer's finished bow into my Inventory. The Stat rolls were utterly perfect, bumping the border of being a World Item. If I ever bothered to sell it it really wouldcrash the economy. That just went to show that a well-crafted Rare could be better than a World Item in most cases. Sure, I might have a few bow-type World Items, but none of them fit Archer's Skillset at all. Thus I was forced to make my own arrangements.

Time to do perform my favorite activity—abusing loopholes in the game's code.

I gathered a large amount of Caloric Stone beneath my talons, clearing my throat and activating the 'Consume' function. A single Stone glowed, and a screen appeared.

Ah, hello Miyagi-san. What'll it be today?

…Yes, I do this enough that the Developers there know my name too. So sue me.

"Hello, Developer-san." I returned in kind. "Could you give me a Mirror of Desire?"

Sure thing. It'll cost the usual, ten thousand units of Caloric Stone. Is that all right?

Some might consider such an item to be ridiculously overpriced, considering a single high-grade custom enchantment was only a couple thousand at most. Not I. I knew full well what it did, having coded the whole thing myself. The Devs also knew full well how overpowered it was, considering it would take several dozen uses of a very specific World Item to replicate it.

Hence the ridiculous cost.

"Yes, it is. I somehow managed to scrape together enough again." I lied through my teeth.

All right, here you are. Enjoy!

The text box disappeared, as did all the Caloric Stone in the cave. In its place, a beautifully glimmering mirror shimmered into existence. I grinned widely, stepping over to the hidden chest I had been using to store the bulk of my Caloric Stone.

What, you don't honestly think that I'd let the Devs know I figured out how to mass-produce the stuff, do you? How silly of you to even suggest such a thing. Not when they so generously give me such valuable Items.

I emptied my Inventory of everything but Archer's bow, then began refilling it with the contents of the chest.

Mirrors of Desire were an insanely overpowered item that I coded myself for one function—to duplicate the user's entire Inventory into their Storage. The Items in the user's Inventory became 'Mirrored', which prevented them from ever being altered but still allowed them to function just fine. The Mirrored copy could then feasibly be Mirrored if one paid the exorbitant amount of Caloric Stone needed to make another one, but the Mirror was one-use only so it limited its effectiveness by a lot.

Still. If you think that sounds like one hell of a glaring exploit, you're absolutely right. It is. Not to get yourself more Caloric Stone of course, the Inventory only has sixty-four slots and the Stone can only stack up to twenty. Even if you duplicated your entire Inventory full of the Stone, you still wouldn't get even close to the amount you spent to get it. The Devs never seemed to consider that you could use it in otherways, though.

They did, however, foresee someone trying to get by with buying cash items that gave them infinite Inventory slots, though, so that unfortunately meant that I was stuck with only sixty-four until I was done using this particular exploit.

Despite their power, however, the Mirrors still weren't World Items. Sure one might think that they broke the balance of the game, but think about it. You have to burn ten thousand World Items in order to get it. And besides, they still did have one limit. Mirrors of Desire couldn't duplicate World Items or any Quest Items. Beyond that, though, there were no rules. And that left the door wi~de open for some shenanigans.

See, you didn't actually have to be near your Storage for the Mirror to work. You just had to activate it and have enough space.

I had sixty-four slots open right now, excluding the one taken by the Mirror of Desire.

To exploit this, you have to do something I think is rather clever.

See, there's a World Item capable of duplicating absolutely any one Item, including other World Items if you had them on hand. It's called a Mirror of Kalandra. I found it completely by chance on a random Raid Boss drop and immediately hid it away, not telling a soul of its existence. It was one-use of course, but that didn't matter. Not for what I was using it for.

"[Greater Teleportation]." I murmured, concentrating on a very specific location.

I appeared in a low-Level dungeon called 'the Greed King's Lair', famous for being a rookie killer. The Boss was easy to get to for me though, and I simply swatted any monsters I found into a wall. They didn't get up again. I made it to the grand double doors in record time, the phony gold piled around it almost an eyesore. I entered, and the heavyset Greed King rose with a roar.

The Greed King was an odd Boss in that its damage value was based strictly off of the amount of currency a Player had in their Inventory. The more currency, the more damage the Boss dealt with every blow. It was meant to be a fun little mechanic as the Dev in question described it to me, but I saw it as so much more.

This place was very interesting because it interacted strangely with certain Items. If an Item was one-use, no matter what it was, the game considered it currency and counted it towards the Boss's damage multiplier.

Any one-use item, no matter what it is, is counted as currency.

A Mirror of Kalandra is considered by the game as a one-use Item.

Thus, in this area only, a Mirror is considered as a Currency Item rather than a World Item for the sake of certain effects. Certain effects, which just so happen to include the Mirror of Desire.

Heheheheheh.

Never underestimate a gamer's power to find miniscule loopholes in the game's code.

I opened my Inventory, flat-out ignoring the Boss's attacks. I activated the Mirror of Desire, and the Mirrored copies of the Mirror of Kalandra filling every last slot were Mirrored again. Nearly a full Inventory's worth of new Mirrors of Kalandra were sent directly into my Storage, leaving me with yet another set of the World Items. I did the same with a copy of the Mirror of Desire I had made mere seconds before, and the loop began.

I had done this little ruse precisely nine times before. It took me seven times to fill my Inventory with Mirrors, but from then on it just rinse and repeat.

But wait, you may ask. How could you have done it nine times if it cost so much Caloric Stone to craft even a single Mirror of Desire?

Well, it's quite simple really. I only bought two Desires originally, and from then on it was completely sustainable. I used one of my Mirrored Mirrors of Kalandra to duplicate a Mirror of Desire, which was then used to duplicate an Inventory of Kalandras. I used the Kalandras to clone Derires, Desires to clone the Kalandras, and soon I had to buy a Storage upgrade to increase the number of slots in my Storage container.

So why did I have to buy another Mirror just now to repeat the glitch?

Well, as normal Items Mirrors of Desire have durability, which runs out over time. How much durability? Precisely five. They can only be held onto for a day or two before they simply disappear. Even when I'm exploiting the game, the Devs still find a way to troll me.

…Even if they didn't know they were doing it.

It didn't really matter, though. I had the last laugh here.

I spent some time using Mirrored Desires and Kalandras to make a somewhat stable loop, until I finally ran out of space and killed the Boss in one hit. My Storage was now full of Mirrors of Kalandra, which meant I could repeat the loop as soon as I piled them all into my Treasury in Nazarick. I already had one Storage Room stuffed to the brim with the Mirrors, but if this all worked out then I should have another two ready to stock.

Hey. I have to cheese this game as much as possible while it's still a game.

See, unlike those who foolishly flaunt their treasures, I keep everything to myself and hide it deep within the bowels of Nazarick, never sharing it with anyone. None of Devs has the slightest inkling of what I have hidden away, let alone my fellow Guildmates. I never once upset the game balance or used my spoils against others, staying as far away from negative light as possible.

It didn't matter.

This was all just prep time, weekly visiting hours before moving on to the rest of my life.

I chuckled to myself, teleporting out of the dungeon and back to my Treasury to unload.

When the New World came, I would be ready. The Devs would never notice, but once the End came, I would effectively have stacks of literally every useful Item in the game.

Sure it's a bit slimy, but it's all for the sake of the future. After all…

Who needs morals when you can just mod the game?

A/N:

Big shoutout to Spacemonkey777 for prereading this chapter before release. I was actually going to add another filler chapter, but after running it by him, we both agreed that it was just a waste of space. My beta is MIA, so he was a big help in doing a bit of behind-the-scenes balancing. With any luck I should be able to do the rest of this story without relying on his and others' generosity, but you never know with these kinds of things.

As a side note, a lot of my reviews are remarking on the lack of quality Overlord fanfics. I'm very glad that you don't include mine in that number. I can't guarantee that the plot will please everyone, but I hope it'll be enough to make this the best one there is.

And don't worry, everyone, the second Maiden is coming next chapter. I just needed to spend a bit of time getting to that point.