The second step

It's all about trust, I should trust my father and the man he has become, It's only fair I give him a second chance when I was granted second chances again and again

I recognize that I'm harsh at him, more than I should be so I have to return back home

This time I will make things right

I put all the blame on myself for all I did and so did my father for what happened to both me and my mother, he only blamed himself and tried to redeem himself by working himself to the bone

I have hurt myself and I have guilt in me, but most importantly I hurt others too

It didn't feel fair when my heart and my words didn't reach anyone because I cared too much about what others felt about me, I wanted to say too much, and I wanted to share too much but I didn't know how to do that

But because I was in my head too much I couldn't be with the people I wanted to be at significant moments, I couldn't help Takito, I couldn't help Trita, I couldn't help myself

I thought everyone wore a mask, but a mask can't really hide who you are inside

I lacked trust in people, I thought I was only a tool to them but this time I trust

This time around I trust myself, I have outdone the fear of failing so I must one-up myself

And now that I look at myself in the mirror I realize I haven't seen a scarier mask than this

So it has come the time to be real to myself and to the world, I can't keep acting like the victim when I am the one causing the problems

But before I go back home I want to set things right with someone, I'm close to her house so I will pay a visit to her

That's right, my grandma whom I told that I was not her grandson, I know the reason my father didn't want us to visit her now but I'm not my father

…

It took some time but I was finally here, outside my grandma's front door, I knocked on the door and she was quick to open it

"It didn't take long until you revisited Iriasu-chan"

"You knew?"

"At first sight! How could I ever forget my little grandson?" My grandma said with a smile

"I'm sorry for lying to you" I said as I followed her inside the house

She then sat with me in the living room and prepared some tea

"What is the reason for visiting?" She asked me

"I wanted to apologize for many things, I'm sorry that I don't see you more, and I'm sorry we aren't as close as we should be"

I'm also sorry to my old friends, I wish we could have memories together but I guess my ego changed our fate

"You don't have to apologize for things that were out of your power, now you should look forward to learning more about each other! I didn't recognize you at first because you look muscular but since you got the face of your mother I was able to tell you were my grandson, I could never forget the face of my kid no matter what she has done" My grandma said with a smile

"That's the first time someone said I look like my mother..."

For some reason, I couldn't keep this thought in my head

"That's the truth though, Your body may look like your father's, and the way you act reminds me of him but everything else you took from your mother"

"You seem way kinder than what I heard"

"What? What rumors have you heard about me?" My grandma asked me confused

"No! From the story of my parent's run away, I heard that you were very strict with my mother so I created an image in my mind where you are strict about anything"

She laughed when I told her that

"I'm strict but not to my grandkid! You are just so precious to me! I remember when you went to school with a big smile on your face, I wonder if you do the same now..."

"Don't worry! I'm happy while going to school, I have a girlfriend and good friends, I couldn't ask for more..."

Her mood was brightened up when I told her that

"I'm happy about all that! Let me guess is your girl Yosuke's daughter?"

"I'm not surprised you guessed that, after all, we did promise to "marry" when we get older" I told her in a joking way

"You seem a bit better now, like you lifted a weight off your body" My grandma said as she petted my head

I guess she is right, I was getting eaten from the inside by random things

It's not like my whole thought process has changed but I believe that I will think clearly now instead of letting myself believe everyone is pretending

"You see I have run away from home for a day so my father must be worried, is it okay if I leave?"

"Did you come to Tokyo alone?" My grandma asked shocked

"Yeah by bike"

"BY BIKE?"

Before we could talk any longer she kicked me out and told me to hurry and go home, I guess that's the obvious thing to do after I told her, and I assume she would call my father and tell him that I saw her or she might call my aunt, most probably my aunt

…

After some time of driving, I arrived at Nagano

It was awfully quiet, my house was empty so I peacefully entered and left my things in my room before going out for a walk on foot

As I was walking the streets of Nagano memories from before started flooding my head, I remembered clearly the accident my family had gotten into

I remember her crying and hitting my father while he was driving and then suddenly a track came from nowhere, my father had to steer the wheel to dodge it so we ended up falling off the track and right into some rocks

After the accident I remember my father taking some pills, must be for the guilt he felt, maybe anti-depressant pills and I vividly remember taking some too from him, but that was once

But besides sad memories, good memories came to me too

It was a memory from the first time I saw Yua, she looked like a goddess in my eyes and I fell in love at first sight after some time of talking I remember playing with her, I didn't live near her but I remember her at school, we fought many times for no reason but remember this one day that I randomly asked her to be my wife, later that day we went to the nearest temple and pretended we got married, I also remember some high-school girls that where there that helped us marry

Now that I remember this it was quite cute, I also remember saying to her that I will never forget her because I was leaving for good this time, maybe that's why she cursed me every time she saw me after I returned here, breaking such a promise must have been hard

Wait! Why am I in the same temple we "married"? Did I walk here instinctively, oh. There is a person there, it's a girl, She must be praying right now so I better leave

CRACK

Couldn't have I stepped on a crunchier stick?

The girl turned around and when she saw me she ran to me, It was Yua...

Before I could say anything she hugged me tight

"Why did you leave this suddenly idiot!" She asked as she cried in my chest

"I'm sorry... I'm back safely I guess...."

"Don't talk! Don't say a single word!" Yua said as she shat my mouth with her hand

"Turns out wishes come true... I asked God to see you and my wish was almost instantly granted" Yua continued as she tightened her hug

"Should we go back home?" I asked her

"Sure..." She said as she let go of me, She then wiped her tears

"I remember everything!" I said when we started walking on the sidewalk

Yua didn't say anything, she simply held my hand tightly

"Don't you ever run away from your wife then!" Yua said with a blushing mad expression

At the time I couldn't help but laugh loudly

"What's that punk? Why are you laughing? Do you want me to kick your balls?" Yua said as she started hitting me in the arm

It didn't hurt but I pretended it did

…

After continuing walking silently we reached my house, we calmly entered and saw my father drinking a coffee and looking like he didn't get enough sleep

"Iriasu?" He said as soon as he saw me

"I'm back but just so you know I haven't forgiven you, but I don't hate you, what you did was wrong and unforgivable but I can give you a second chance, but you will have to start from zero! Like I never knew you and I have nothing you do with you" I said calmly as I sat down

Yua was obviously confused about what was happening but didn't ask anything

"That's okay, I can accept that!" My father said as he went in for a hug

I let him hug me, if I didn't have time for myself I would have probably punched him again

"Auntie was very scared about your sudden leave, Please don't stress her out so much" My father told me as he sat on the couch

"I know I shouldn't ask but is everything okay?" Yua timidly asked

"Everything is fine so you shouldn't worry, It was just a teenager's way to deal with anger!"

"Aren't you embarrassed saying that?" Yua asked me as she looked at me goofy

"Why should I?"

"You are hopeless..." She said as she sighed

"Is it okay if we leave now?" I asked my father

"Shouldn't you wait for your aunt to see you? She went to work looking very anxious" My father asked me

"Just tell her I came home and went to the hospital to see a friend of mine" I said as I grabbed Yua's hand and exited the house

"Are we going to see Takito?" Yua asked me confused

"Yeah I heard that he will be discharged from the hospital soon so might as well pay him a visit before he leaves"

Just like that Yua and I took the train to the hospital and visited Takito

"What? I said you don't have to see me anymore I'm fine! Why don't you get it?" Takito madly told to us

"Shut up idiot! We are not here to see if you are alright, I just wanted to ask you something and reveal something else"

Both Yua and Takito were surprised about what I said, so I told them what I was thinking fast

"I will join the whatever club I want! From now on I will follow my heart and do whatever I want to do whatever I desire, God gave me three years to make a fresh start and improve myself so I will not let even a week out of those three years go to waste, are you with me? From here on out let's start fresh and follow our hearts without caring about other people, these are the last three years of our lives before we start worrying about life so let's look past all the sad things we witnessed and take the next step"

A said with D E T E R M I N A T I O N in my voice, I don't know what brought me to say this but I felt like I had to take this off my chest

I felt like I had to say this if I had to take the second step in my new life, I was forgiven and I forgave so now I can take the next step without looking back and that's what I'm going to do

The next step into a better brighter future...