Thoughts in the Hallway

Standing outside the room, I pictured myself downstairs with my kids again. I hated having to sit out here like I was subservient to them. But that was the problem; II was under them in rank power and political influence. I should do something about it soon. I needed to start my own political party among the Bunny-kin and carve a name and place for myself.

I believed in myself, and although I would have to reach the level of A rank, I never doubted that I would break through the B rank and join their ranks. It wasn't that my father was an A rank, so I believe that I would be or that my mother was looking to break into the A rank, so I should too. No, I knew I would because I felt like I was young enough now to reach those peaks before I died of old age.

The war would be somewhere I would learn and battle my tactics and power to reach that rank of power. I had no idea what it specifically was that made your rank change from B to A in this world. I had found nothing in the writings in the library, and it seemed that it was protected knowledge. I had theories that telling someone what you went through might hurt someone else's chances of breaking through on their own. Maybe it was a personal growth thing and that it was unique to the individual.

One day I would reach it, and by then, I would need a base of power.

I needed it for my children so that I could protect them from the world. Greed was already starting among the elite of my own race and Tribe. My mother didn't need to tell me in order for me to understand that whatever happened with the system when I was young made my children highly wanted by everyone. Their talent was amazing, and I only gave birth to futanari. Which means my traits were dominant. If what the god of Martyrs did to me was supposed to be a gift, this might be a curse. I was highly interested in Mally's child and wondered what would happen if a Succubus was a Futanari as well what would happen. Would they have the traits of both an Incubi and a Succubus?

This would make them a new race of Sex demons, and I would need to do my best to protect them at all costs. I felt the need to gain power for the increasing number of children that I have made. The system was a shortcut to power, or I think it might be. If I spent time just impregnating women without stopping, I might be able to break through easier. That might even be a good thing if I used the lottery, or it might not be. But I felt its sweet temptation from time to time.

All I had to do was let loose, and I could create a literal breeding farm in my home country. No one would stop me, and the Elders and richest of our Tribe would send women my way to impregnate their women without end. I hated the thought of doing that, though. Already I had lost track of who I impregnated and the exact numbers after they drugged me. I could look through the log in the system to learn, but I have shied away from doing that out of fear of what the number could be.

I was already a bad father to so many of my children. No, I didn't even know if some knew that I was their father at the end of the day and called some man their mother was with daddy. It filled me with dread, and I hated thinking about it, but it was what my actions when I was younger caused to happen. I was responsible for what had been happening, and although I could blame some for how bad it currently is, that didn't stop me from continuing.

That was the truth about myself. I didn't know that I was a slut in my deepest core and that I was easily seduced overall. It was something I didn't want to admit to myself, but as I stood outside waiting for those elders to invite me in, I couldn't stop but think why I am even doing things for them. If I just had held out and never impregnated any women but those closest to me, this would never have been a problem. Instead, I give myself to my lust again and again. Without stopping, I continued to seduce and be seduced into it, and I wouldn't stop.

If one thing could stop me, it was researching and losing myself in the thoughts of learning more about the mysteries of the world and universe. I could even help but think about whether this reality was the same reality Earth was in if I became immortal and turned the Bunny-kin into a spacefaring species and took to the stars to search. Would I find Earth?

There were so many questions that I had no answer to, so I didn't think about it, and I hoped that one day I could learn the answers. These thoughts would come down to the memory of the god, and I thought about one of the things it said.

That all of this was a game of the gods. They provided us with a system, it seemed, and reincarnated us. It was something that weighed on my mind long ago when I was young. It led me to research and research more about mana till I became a C ranker. I had become a greenhouse flower by then, but I could calm myself with the thought that I wasn't weak as a child.

Still, I wondered if there were others in this world with a system. Were theirs based on a fetish? Or an extra body part like mine was? It had been some time since I thought about it but that Tiger-kin Mistress Sally in the Demon lands was someone powerful at around the same age as me. What if there were more like her? Would the system announce if I was fighting someone else with a system?

I wasn't invincible in this world, and my fights made me so vulnerable afterward. The void body I created where I turned my body into the void itself was something I was struggling to understand. I was the one who did it, and the Mana conversation was intense to the point that I did not know another Wizard that could do it. I had more mana than anyone else that I knew, and I had taken advantage of that. Still, others could beat me black and blue to the inch of death. This was a factor that I didn't want to continue. They could use their mana better than me, which meant they were better, more efficient Wizards than me.

That was a sting to my ego that I didn't want to rest. I needed to get better with what I had. I wanted to become a mid to close-range Wizard that fought. I could cast from a distance, but something was calling me to fight in the heat of things, unlike my peers. No, I would learn my style, carve my name into this world, and make others fear but, more importantly, Respect me.

The strength of the fist can only keep strong as the fist that remains strong. I was probably butchering the phrase, but I had to create an infrastructure for when I was no longer strong and in my prime. So that I wouldn't have to close myself off from the world and I could live with my family. Something that brought me and everyone around me up to the peak of this world. Then I wanted to explore it.

My ambitions had never calmed but only grown more mature over the years. I needed to protect the things around me I cared about. I cared about the Bunny-kin and my Tribe. I cared about the Beast-kin nation as a whole as it protected that family, and I needed it to be strong to protect it.

I needed to make the world fear our nation; to do that, I needed others to assist me. Inside that room behind me were the resources I needed to get behind me in order for me to build our Tribe from a tribe to a nation. I needed to reform the government and society into something that would make this world gasp in awe. I wanted the smaller tribes of this nation to grow strong with us as there was so much to learn from them as well.

Not all of it started from this place and time. I needed to gather, but my long-term plans were that, Long term. In the short term, the Empire's slavers needed to back off. The Tribes needed to feel safer, and their population needed to grow. A well-fed population was healthy and increased the number of resources and knowledge.

I had so much work to do and so little time to do it. I didn't want to be a Martyr in this life. I didn't want to be a saint. I wanted to be a father to my children no matter how bad of a Father I was. I would try my best and have them take on my legacy if they wished to.

My mind raced out in this hallway, and I wanted to curse the Elders for taking so long. I turned often and wished I could at least go back to the apartment and find out where they put the Lich Taylor. I wanted to talk to her about some things, too, but I wished even more, to spend time with my kids.

Now I was standing here still watching the door and waiting for whatever decision the real power shakers came up with. If they didn't like my standing army now, I would have to make one later, and that probably would only be better for me in the long term. For now, the short-term needed it even more.

I glared at the doors as I waited, my mind racing even more.