Trigger Warning: If you're sensitive or having a mental problems, you can skip this chapter (Know yourself if it's okay to take this chapter or not.)
(Ps: Don't pressure yourself if you're not fit in this chap)
We were on our way to the Mansion. I was literally sweating while I was seated uncomfortably in the passenger seat nang maramdaman kong hinawakan ako sa kamay ni Azure.
"Relax, babe. My parent's wont bite you." He even squeezed my hand, trying to calm me down.
Napatingin ako sa kanya. "Paano mo naman na sabi? The last time I check, they're hating me because I rejected you."
Nagkaroon nang tahimikan sa loob ng sasakyan nang sabihin ko iyon. Napapikit at napa buntong hininga ako nang maisip ang sinabi ko. Pakiramdam ko ay naubusan ako nang lakas magsalita ulit tungkol sa nararamdaman nya.
"You're just thinking of something else, they truly love you. Don't be nervous, your brother and his fiancé will be there to support you. Your friends too of course."
Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi nya. "Anong sinasabi mo? Welcome party pa rin ba ang tinutukoy mo?" Kinakabahan na tugon ko.
He's just smiled at me sweetly and I received no answer for him. Napakamot na lang ako sa sentido ko at pilit pinapakalma ang sarili ko dahil hindi ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko ngayon.
Kailan ba ako makakapag pahinga sa pinag gagawa nila sakin?
"Do you want to come back to our hide out?" Basag nya sa katahimikan nang mapalingon ako sa kanya.
"Akala ko ba hindi na pwede? Because my life is in a danger?" Nagtatakang tanong ko sa kanya nang malingunan sya.
"Of course, but I can protect and support you if you want to came back. It's your life after all."
"Anong pinagsasabi mo? Noong nasa Florida tayo, palagi mong itinatanggi ang gusto ko. Pero ngayong naka uwi na tayo sa Pilipinas, you don't even think twice and ask me straightly if I want to come back?" Hindi ko naiwasan ang maging sarkastiko. "Ano ba? Pinaglalaruan mo ba ako?"
Kumunot ang noo nya at nilingon ako saglit bago ibalik at tingin sa daan. "I'm sorry, I wasn't even thinking. I should respect you."
"But you won't." Giit ko at tumingin na lang sa bintana para hindi na sya magsalita ulit.
Ipinikit ko ang mata ko at pinigilan ang emosyong gustong lumabas sa mga mata ko. I felt suffocated, and I just want to stop my world spinning because of the stressful problem.
"Hey Krish, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. Forgive me please, I love you." I heard him panicked.
Wala na akong naisagot lalo na nang matanaw ko na ang mansyon nila. Kasabay ang Pamilya nyang nag a abang samin mula sa labas nang malaking gate na bahay nila at nakita ang maraming sasakyan mula sa parking lot nang Mansyon nila.
Nag park kami sa tabi nang bahay nila at agad nang lumabas si Azure para alalayan ako paibaba. I cling to his arms and we both turn our direction to his mother, father and his older brother.
"Welcome, lovers." Nakangiting bati samin ni Mrs Elias kasabay nang pag tingin ko sa dalawang magkabila ni Mrs Elias na si Mr Denver at ang kapatid na ito na si George.
They both have emotionless face. Alam ko na alam nilang dalawa ang namamagitan sa amin nang anak nila kaya hindi na ako magtataka kung peke lang ang pakikitungo nila sa akin dahil sa pag reject ko nang anak at kapatid nya.
"Thank you, Mrs Elias." Alanganing ngiting sambit ko.
Nakangiti namang tumugon ang Mommy ni Azure at pinagkatitigan ang posisyon namin. Habang yakap ko ang braso ni Azure ay sya namang pagyakap sa bewang ko.
"Thanks Mom, let's go inside. I'm sure the Emcee will announce our name,"
Mrs Elias and Azure changing looks. My brows furrowed because seing them like that was 7 years ago that they are planning on something.
Hindi naman kami nabigo at iginaya na kami papasok sa mansion nila. Sa garden ginanap ang welcome party at talaga namang may mga balloons pa at pinagawan nang stage na may nakalagay na 'Welcome Back'
"You two are really sweet lovers, why won't you be Mrs Elias hija? Our surname is fit on you." Kinikilig na sambit ni Mrs Elias.
Palihim kong tinignan si Azure para maka hingi nang tulong. Agad naman nyang nakuha iyon nang tumikhim sya para kunin ang atensyon ng ina.
"Mom, she's not yet ready to tie on me. Don't pressure her."
His mom gave him a sad face. "No baby! You already said that 7 years ago. Ano ba naman kayo, hindi na uso ang pakiramdaman. I feel the love to the both of you. Bigyan nyo na ako nang apo, tatanda na kami nang daddy mo-"
"Hon." Naputol ang sasabihin ni Mrs Elias nang dumating ang asawa nito. "Let's go in front, tatawagin na sila."
Napasimangot na lang ang Mommy ni Azure at nag paalam samin. Napabuntong hininga akong lumingon kay Azure na nakatingin na pala sa akin.
"Bakit ba ikaw ang pinipilit nilang magpakasal? Hindi ba ay may Kuya ka?"
He caressed my hair. "Yeah but my brother and his girlfriend broke up and if you ask the reason, it was unknown. Hindi sinasabi ni Kuya ang dahilan kaya nang ako ang makita nila, you know the answer."
"Papayag kaba sa gusto nila?" Kinakabahang tanong ko.
Naging ilap ang mata nya pero maya maya pa ay tumingin sya at nginitian ako. "As much as I want to, but I don't want to destroy your life and freedom."
"What do you mean?" Naguguluhang tanong ko.
"Krish, your freedom of love already destroy because of HIM. You don't have a freedom now to love another person because he abandon you, abandon your love for HIM. But even I can risk myself for you. It's not working, so no. I'll respect you, and I'll soon tell my parents not to pressure you."
I feel overwhelm and touch by his words. Wala sa sariling nayakap ko sya na syang ikinagulat nya. "Thank you so much, and yes. He abandon my love for him, that's why I have no freedom to choose who sill I love." Emosyonal na sambit ko nang yakapin ko sya nang mahigpit.
"Shushh, it's okay. I'll let you to see him again but if he's willing to abandon you again, I'm sorry but I will not let you see him again, forever." His voice was dangerous and I felt her rage when he whispered to me.
"Thanks for the concern," I kissed his cheeks before the emci called our name.
"Let's us welcome, Mr. Azure Santri Elias and Ms. Krishiana Marie Alseiti Lorenzo!" Sigaw ng Emcee at kasabay noon ay ang paglabas naming dalawa na syang ikina palakpak nang mga tao.
The spotlight was with us. We fake smiled to the front of people including the business men and women and some senior citizens who are smiling with us and even whispered.
Palihim kong tinignan ang mga bisita at napangiti nang makita ang mga kaibigan ko kasama ang mga asawa nila. I was enjoying myself from smiling when I caught someone who's staring at me.
I gasped and looked at him, I wanted to show my expression, I saw him looking at me with no emotion on his face but I even hide it when I felt my hands are trembling. My emotions are fulfilling when Azure notice me stunned to my place.
Kinuha ni Azure ang mic sa Emcee at yakap nya ako nang ngumiti sya sa mga tao. I tried to hide my emotions inside. It was 7 years past and here I am, I even though I was already move on and ready to face him, in reality I just want to runaway and hide from him again.
"Thank you people for welcoming us again after 7 years! We hope you enjoy the small party of welcoming us. I'll have an announcement later, but for now. Let's enjoy the party people!" Azure was energetic before giving the mic to emcee and guiding me off to stage.
I was still trembling when we go outside to the mansion when I was started to cry. "Azure, w-why he was here? What if he plans to follow me and play my feelings again? A-azure please help me out of this place."
I saw he's worried expression face and hugged me tightly. I know that he was doing to calm me down. "Of course baby, I'll let you escape for tonight. I'm so sorry, I thought you'll be okay after 7 years and getting over him is a solution. I love you baby, please say you love me too and we'll escape." Hinalik halikan nya ang mukha ko, pilit akong pinapatahan at pinapakalma gamit ang mga init na yakap nya at halik.
Umiling iling ako at pilit pinatatahan ang sarili ko. "I'm sorry, I don't want you to hope A-azyre please just help me with this, and the next time I see him again, I let you go."
Biglaang nagdilim ang reaksyon nya. "No, I won't let you, let's go."
Hinabol ko sya, hindi na inisip ang takong na suot ko. At muling hinuli ang mga kamay nya para humarap sya sa akin. "I know that you're already hurting and I'm sorry for that. But you know, you must stop fooling yourself. I don't want you to hurt more."
Nakita ko ang kislap sa mga mata nya at nag iwas ng tingin. I was shocked when I saw his tears in his right eyes ecaped. Agad naman nya iyong pinunasan.
"I'm sorry, but you're already hurting me. But even if it's hurt like hell. I'm still willing to be beside you, and never let you cry alone because of that sh*t man of yours." Kinuha nya ang kamay ko.
"Stop please." I begged at him. "Please, I know that you'll find a better woman than me."
"That's bullsh*t, when I'm with you, I rather be alone than finding another woman. Becauss you're a better for me. And you know what I wish huh? It's fucking torturing me but you can't blame me just because I love you."
Ilang luha ang tumakas sa mga mata ko. "Stop ease don't say something that will hurt me and you."
Pinagkatitigan nya ako, pinipigilan tumakas ang mga luha sa mga mata nya. It hurts me more and the guilt was already eating me inside. "I just still wish that someday, your heart stop loving him so you'll be mine."
To be continued...