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Fiona Fleming Cozy Mysteries

I’m an international, multiple award-winning author with a passion for the voices in my head. As a singer, songwriter, independent filmmaker and improv teacher and performer, my life has always been about creating and sharing what I create with others. Now that my dream to write for a living is a reality, with over a hundred titles in happy publication and no end in sight, I live in beautiful Prince Edward Island, Canada, with my giant cats, pug overlord and overlady and my Gypsy Vanner gelding, Fynn. A Poo Poo Kind of Morning I tried not to look down the mouth of hell staring back at me from inside the glaringly pristine outer ceramic shell of the white throne, my throat catching, stomach doing half flips and a rather impressive rollover routine that would have gotten at least a 9.5 even from the Russian judges. Instead, I forced myself to smile and swallow and remind myself the elbow length yellow rubber gloves grasping the handle of the standard issue plunger were all that stood between me and Pooageddon. Suck it up, Fee. Big girl panties and adulting and all that. “At what point,” I waved the dripping plunger, wincing as droplets of yuck flew, “did I think owning a bed and breakfast was going to be glamorous and romantic?” Fiona Fleming is in so much trouble. Her recently inherited bed and breakfast might not actually be hers thanks to the underhanded misdealings of the local real estate bully. Despite her grandmother's last will and testament, Fee might me out of luck and on the street before she even gets settled. But when her new enemy floats belly up in her koi pond, she's the prime suspect in his murder! Can she uncover who the real killer is before the smoking hot new sheriff puts her behind bars instead of asking her out on a date? Dive into book one of the Fiona Fleming Cozy Mysteries, and don't miss the exciting sequels!

Patti Larsen · Real
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Chapter 157: Mom's Baking

Ganache and Fondant and Murder: Fiona Fleming Cozy Mysteries #5

Not to be indelicate about it, but if Mom made me eat one more bite of cake I was going to throw up. And not gently or modestly or in a ladylike fashion. I'd honestly ingested enough dessert in the last hour to sink a submarine with no end in sight.

Don't get me wrong. I loved my mother's baking. Dreamed about it, in fact, and rarely, if ever, turned down a slice after dinner. My cousin Robert's comments about my expanding backside, if true-and I still argued against his jerkish assessment-could only be blamed on Mom's cake.

But a girl has her limits, and I had finally reached mine, groaning as I sat back with both hands pressing to my distended stomach, burping softly around the chocolate, vanilla, red velvet, buttercream and banana that swam on the surface of a variety of other flavors I'd rather not taste again in reverse.

Gross.